16. Chapter 16
Chapter 16
VIVIAN
I stare at the door he just exited with my mouth open. He literally just got up and left me, without even a goodbye. I guess I could be grateful that he told me that he had to go, I muse sarcastically. Maybe he has an emergency, a voice down deep tells me, but any normal person would have said goodbye at least.
And just when I am thinking he is an okay guy.
I’m tempted to abandon my hot chocolate on the table and leave as quickly as he did, but my drink is rich and delicious, and it isn’t the poor shop person’s fault I have just been jilted. So instead, I pick up my cup and Declan’s, bringing his to the counter, and I ask for the person to dispose of it for him. Then I leave with my hot chocolate and enjoy it on my bus ride home.
As much as I try to calm myself down, I am totally unsuccessful. I try to ignore Declan’s actions, but the more I replay his crazy departure in my head the more pissed off I get. We hadn’t even gotten to split up the details of our project. I guess now I am just supposed to email it to him, since that is the only way I have to communicate with him between now and our next class.
I get irritated too when I realize that he kept directing questions at me, just asking about me. Because he probably wanted to get to know you , my romantic subconscious tells me. But I ignore her. Because why would he want to get to know me? He’s seen where I live, and he’s seen how I clearly don’t have any money or the means to give myself a better life. And I vomited all over him. Why would he be interested in someone like me?
The bus pulls up to my stop and I get off and look at my building. It’s horrible, falling apart, but it is the only place that I found that was at the price point Bailey and I could afford. And it is better than most of the places my mother had for me growing up.
I’m not ashamed of who I am or where I came from; it has made me stronger. But maybe Declan is ashamed. Maybe that is why he didn’t give me a proper goodbye when he left me. Maybe he realized I’m not worth the effort.
Well, screw him.
I go inside and set myself up at the thrift store card table we have and get to work on the project. If he wants to blow school off, then whatever, but I don’t have that luxury. And as far as I am concerned, his high and mighty “the work needs to be equal” speech just before he took off is a bunch of bullshit. So I’m not waiting for him to get this stuff done. That is just an excuse. I think about my mantra and mutter it to myself. “No excuses, Viv.”
I am in charge of my future, I remind myself. And I need to forget about Declan and get down to business.