22. Chapter 22
Chapter 22
PRESENT DAY
DECLAN
I lost the ability to breathe the day she left. It’s like the knowledge of how to take in a deep exchange of air had been erased from my mind and it was a skill that I had to relearn. But I had done it. It has never gotten easier to breathe, but slowly, over time, I distracted myself enough by throwing myself into work and building up Falco Enterprises with my brothers. And now I did it—just took a breath and didn’t think about the pain. It has just become a part of me.
But one look at her and it is suddenly easy to breathe again—nothing hurts, and the tension is gone. Well, at least the tension of me never seeing her again. But now there is new tension, a different tension. This tension is from watching as another man slides his hand around her waist, as he smiles at her, and as she laughs at whatever it is he said.
I am going to fucking kill that man.
“Declan, what are you doing to that glass?” Slade asks me. I hear him but I can’t answer him. Instead he looks to what has my attention. “What are you looking— Oh, fuck.”
I watch as she and the dead man walking start a conversation with another political idiot. There is some discussion between them, and he continues talking while Vivian makes her way to the terrace.
I’m up and walking, before I can think better of it, to the terrace after her. I’ve gotten about halfway there when Slade steps in front of me. “What are you doing, Declan?” he asks me in a tone that is more about getting me to rethink my own actions than about him wanting an answer.
I don’t even spare my brother a look. “I need some air,” I say, knocking him with my shoulder as I continue on my way to the terrace.
It’s a nice evening, still quite warm, so there are lots of people outside admiring the gardens below. I pay all the bystanders no mind, even as some call to me, as I stalk my way over to the woman alone in the corner, her back to me, her black hair like a beacon.
I come to a stop about three feet away from her, opening my mouth to speak, but I’m struck dumb. I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure of my approach.
But it doesn’t matter because as I stand there dumbfounded, Vivian turns to me, as if she’s been expecting me. “Hello, Declan,” she says. Her voice and expression are neither happy nor angry; it’s just as her voice had always been—impassive.
“Vivian,” I reply, my voice harsh as her name forms on my lips for the first time in a long time.
“How have you been?” she asks with a small smile and a tilt of her head.
Something in me snaps at her question. Her asking me how I’ve been after nearly ten years as if we are just acquaintances. As if she hadn’t totally blown me apart like a goddamn grenade and left me to reassemble myself into whatever I am now.
“Is that all you have to say to me?” I growl at her.
A look of confusion clouds over her face. “What—”
I lean in, my face millimeters from hers. “You left me. You said nothing and you left,” I say through my teeth, breathing through my mouth so that I don’t inhale her scent.
Without missing a beat, Vivian replies in an even voice, “You left me first, Declan.” I know what she is doing. She is holding her emotions back, the way she did when we first met, the way she did when she wasn’t sure what would happen because the person was a stranger.
I am a stranger to her.
“I didn’t leave—”
“There you are!” a man says, coming up to Vivian and me.
Vivian takes a step to the side of me, and I stand to my full height and examine the intruder. He’s about half a head shorter than I am, and his hair has more hair product in it than I’d known is possible. It makes it appear he has a helmet on his head; the wind blows around us and his hair doesn’t budge. “Hi, Kent,” Vivian says, “this is Declan.”
I narrow my gaze at Vivian when I notice Kent’s eyes widen. He works to school his features and gives me a good-old-boy smile. It makes him look like a used car salesman.
“Declan, this is Kent,” Vivian introduces. I didn’t miss that Kent hasn’t been given a title, like boyfriend or new friend.
“Declan Falco, is it?” Kent asks, holding his hand out to me. I glance down at it and then look back up to him. I’m not shaking this guy’s hand. It isn’t for my benefit, it is for his. If I lay a hand on him at all I am going to rip off whatever appendage it was.
Kent gets the message and takes his hand back quickly, taking a sip from his drink. “So this is a really amazing gala that you set up here.”
“I didn’t do anything. All of this is Ms. Shallow’s work, the fundraiser coordinator,” I tell him.
“Oh yes, Ms. Shallow. We just met her, right, hon?” he asks Vivian, sliding his arm around her waist.
Vivian stiffens and shoots Kent a brief startled look. “We did,” Vivian says, and then looking back to me she adds, “she’s wonderful.”
“Yes, I’m hoping to make a stop at her pantry next month on my campaign tour,” Kent says, totally fishing for me to ask what the fuck he is campaigning for.
But I don’t, and instead I watch as Vivian looks beyond me and a genuine smile covers her face. I don’t know what she’s staring at but I feel a longing as I look at her, the first time I am able to admire her in nearly ten years. I marvel at her stunning features, her gorgeous black hair, and the way her green eyes have lit up. Once I’ve studied her, I am suddenly flooded with memories of her, of us, and I look away because it’s too painful.
“Slade,” Vivian says happily, and I look up in time to see her slide from the sleazebag’s hold and move behind me to my brother, where she flings her arms around him.
“Hey there, gorgeous,” Slade greets, returning her embrace.
“Oh! And Axel!” Vivian exclaims in delight as she releases Slade and steps over to also embrace Axel, whose appearance shocks the fuck out of me.
“Hey Viv,” Axel says, giving her a loose hug.
“What are you doing here?” I bark at Axel. My tone is clear that I’m geared up to fight, but Axel doesn’t bite.
“I like Ms. Shallow; she’s nice,” he says. “She deserves all of our support.”
“Only missing Roman,” Vivian notes.
“He’s away at college,” Slade says proudly. “His junior year.”
Vivian smiles at that news. “Amazing.”
A waiter comes out to the terrace just then and announces it’s time for the sit-down meal. Kent immediately springs forward and puts his hand to the small of Vivian’s back. “Let’s find our seats,” he says. Kent nods at my brothers, but doesn’t look at me at all.
I watch Vivian be steered away, and I feel like I’m about to burst. I can’t stay here and watch her and her douchebag of a date. I have no idea how I will keep myself composed. “I’m leaving,” I say to Slade and Axel.
“The fuck you are,” Slade says, grabbing onto my arm before I turn away. “If you leave before Linda speaks, then people will think it’s not important and they will leave too.”
“You need to stay,” Axel agrees.
“And what are you, my fucking babysitter?” I ask Axel, suddenly realizing he was probably called here by Slade when Vivian entered my sights.
Axel smiles at me. He doesn’t smile very often, and his smile coupled with his hooded stare is something out of horror movies. To be honest, it scares the fuck out of me a little. “I am if I have to be, Declan.”
They are right. These pompous pricks with the checkbooks would notice my departure and take it out on this very worthy organization. It isn’t Ms. Shallow’s fault that Vivian is here and has fucked with my head. So I charge my way into the dining area and am immediately guided to a table near the front of the stage.
I sit there, watching and clapping when appropriate, my attention appearing rapt to the speakers and their words. But honestly, my mind is on the last thing Vivian said to me when we were alone, and I can’t stop myself from picking every syllable of it apart.
“You left me first.”