Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
The smell of bacon hits my nose as I wake and I open my eyes, sitting up in confusion.
Gray.
He’s cooking. He turns to look at me, such a wide smile on his handsome face. His hair is tied up on his head with a strip of leather, and his black tunic is open deeply, I can see quite a bit of him.
“Good morning, my beautiful queen.” He comes over to me, holding kitchen utensils and making me chuckle.
“Why are you here? What’s going on? Has there been a death nearby?
Oh! Am I going to kill someone?” I jump out of bed and start to get ready.
Gray stands in front of me and holds up his spare hand and I stop.
I frown at him and sit back on the bed. He is actually here, in my home. It feels like a dream.
An oh so glorious dream.
Reality soon hits and I remember everything that happened yesterday. My job—gone. I can’t kill anymore, well, not legally. I fall back onto my bed and sigh. What am I going to do now? What is Richard going to do? What do I do about Ada?
“Come, eat.” I get up and move towards him as Gray places a plate of bacon, eggs and lightly fried bread on the table.
Before I sit, I look at my sleeping attire: a thin, flimsy nightdress.
It doesn't hide me much, I'm nearly naked. I’ve never bothered to make something new, as no one’s ever seen this side of me, but now he has.
Gray’s eyes wander from my face and down my body and I suppress a smile, sitting down and admiring the food, my stomach growling with anticipation.
I tuck in.
“Why are you here? How are you here?” I ask around a mouthful of food. Gray sits in the chair opposite me. No plate of food of his own.
“Because, Evelyn, I bring you a gift.”
“I don't do gifts. Take it back.” I smirk as I make some bacon crunch. Gray chuckles.
“Oh, my darling, I cannot take this gift back. I have chosen you. I want you. I need you. This is a token of my love and devotion.”
Love?
Stunned, I stop eating. Gray looks down at my plate while I push it forward, frowning a little, before shaking his head and standing.
He walks around the table and stands in front of me.
I have to crane my neck back, just to see his eyes.
Gray touches his crow necklace, and it glows; I gasp softly, not quite believing my eyes.
He grabs the black chain and pulls, creating a new chain with half the crow attached.
He walks behind me and lifts the necklace over my head, dangling in front of my face.
I hold my hair up as Gray places the necklace on me and it fastens with a soft click behind me.
I feel a faint heat radiate through me as it seals.
I didn’t feel his body or his hands on or near me.
Just a cold presence in the air behind and around me.
A hint of frustration and disappointment hits me. Gray comes around and kneels before me.
“Evelyn, my beloved, you cannot remove this necklace now. I have bound it to your soul. You are my other half, my queen, my crow.” His smile grows bigger.
I'm feeling…overwhelmed?
“Happy Birthday,” he says softly with a smile.
Birthday?
I stand to full attention, knocking my chair over and look down to Gray, still on one knee.
“Birthday? How did you know, I don't even know!”
“I know everyone's birth date and death date.”
“So, you know when I'm going to die?”
“Yes, my love.”
“Can you tell me?” I whisper to him.
“You would want to know your death date? Why?”
“Maybe I could change it? I may kill people, but I don't want to die myself.” Gray stands and walks to the bed, gesturing for me to do the same. I walk around the table and sit down on the bed, close to him. He raises a hand and hovers it over mine before he pulls it back to himself.
Never touching me.
Why?
“I cannot tell you your death date. I may be a God, Evelyn, but I cannot give away that information. That is not my role. That duty falls to another who rarely speaks to mortals. I just come to collect the souls and see them on their way.” I take in his words.
He knows when I will die; is that really why he’s here?
I sigh and climb onto the bed properly so I can lie down and think. All these feelings I have, conflicted, yet somehow beautiful. I don't understand them and I feel like I can't contain them, like they’re trying to break my head apart at the seams.
I pick up and admire the half crow pendant Gray gave me. It’s stunning. The way he could just make his whole necklace turn into two halves was mesmerising to watch. He truly is a god. I feel closer to him now.
I need to touch him.
He’s real, he’s here, but I can’t feel his touch, only coldness oozing from him, not heat like us humans.
How have I fallen for a god? How have I fallen, so deeply, for a man?
I crave him. I’m obsessed with him: his eyes, his hair, his stance, his build…
everything. He watches me and we both love the torture and death we bring.
The way he helps me and talks me through my kills fetches me so much joy, so much passion and pleasure. So much love.
Love.
Is this what love is? Do I love him? No, that can't be right. I'm incapable of such feelings.
Aren’t I?
But there was that pain when I worried for the girls who left De’s, hoping they would be safe. And Ada as well, my baby…
I sigh and roll over in bed. Gray takes out the leather strip from his hair and lays next to me.
His long black hair spread across my pillows.
I look at his half of the necklace and then back to his face.
He gives me a lazy smile, then brushes his fingers on my face and I close my eyes, ready to feel him…
but I don’t. Coldness brushes over my face instead and I open my eyes. Gray looks at me with longing and care.
“Why won't you touch me? Why won't you let me touch you, Gray?” He sighs and rolls onto his back while I stare at him wanting, needing, these answers.
“You’re not ready. We are not ready. It’s… It’s not something I have control over. Oh, my sweet little desire, I will be all yours soon, and you will be mine,” he growls, frustration building up between us.
“What can I do? What must I do, Gray? Tell me. Please,” I beg.
I don’t beg.
I have never begged, not since that night with my father. I begged him to stop, but now, I'm begging for something else. Gray turns his head to look at me again and stands. I take him in again: a god, with so much power and confidence.
He walks around to the foot of the bed, leans forwards over the footboard and puts his fists on the frame, his hair falling over his features and down his strong, muscled arms, staring into my eyes and I see the blue ring.
I get onto my hands and knees and crawl across my bed to him, my flimsy little night dress doing nothing to hide any of me from him.
I see him glance down and I feel a thrill go up my spine.
He's looking at me, on my hands and knees, in front of him, close to being naked.
He groans at the sight and takes a deep breath.
His eyes flick back up to mine and they're no longer black and blue.
They're gold.
A deep gold. I've never seen his eyes like this before; they've always had the blue hue around his pupil or completely blacked out from killing.
I sit up on my heels and let him look at me.
His eyes move up and down my body, pausing at my spread knees where there is nothing down there to hide my dignity.
His hands clutch the bedsheet, and he ends up pulling it apart before dropping the material and taking off his tunic.
I gasp at the sight of his body. I’ve never seen a body like it—a man’s body.
A god’s. He’s all muscle. All strength, towering over me.
I never feel this small, this feminine. He makes me feel so many things that I've just never felt before. I want more.
I need more.
I crawl again, to the edge of the bed and stand on my knees.
I’m at the height of his stomach; He’s so toned, with a deep V leading down into his trousers.
His breathing is deep, uneven and I can see his muscles coil, Tensing.
He is still for a moment, then he lifts his head up to the ceiling and releases a breath.
I dare to touch him—I have to. I put my hand to his stomach, and it goes straight through him. The disappointment and pain in my heart hit me hard. Is this…heartbreak? I drop back onto the bed, and I feel tears welling in my eyes.
Am I crying? What is this?
“What's happening, Gray? Why can't I touch you?” I start to lose it. Anger. Frustration. I'm lost with no straight answers.
“Evelyn, we are not ready to touch. Not yet. I am still but a ghost to you. This will soon change, my love. Trust me.” He looks back down at me, his eyes still gold but not as strong now, fading back to his normal black and blue.
I cross my legs and I hold onto my new necklace.
Gray chuckles at me as I shoot him a look of anger, but his smile quickly melts my ire away.
“Come on my love, let's get you bathed and see to Ada and Milly.”
“I don’t want to.” I sound like a damn child.
Gray chuckles at me again and move across the cottage to draw me a bath, so I lay back on my bed.
He returns quickly, standing at my feet and looking at me.
His eyes seem to smoulder darkly and he licks his lips, devouring me with his eyes, instead of his tongue, like I want.
I lift up my knees and then drop them open so he can see every single inch of me from my feet to my stomach.
His eyes instantly switch to gold and he bites his lip. His little fangs showing.
Gold means lust. Black means death; I understand now.
I reach a hand down to my wetness and have a little stroke up and down, making Gray groan.