Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
I failed. I fucking failed and it’s going to cost me my life.
I need to leave London. I need to leave right fucking now.
Ada gallops as fast as she can and in the moonlight, her coat fully changing to grey, no longer a beautiful brown.
The trophies plaited in her hair have turned grey too. Everything is fucking grey.
I follow the river, passing Richard's farms and the very few houses that are nearby. I can still hear Richard’s shouts floating in the wind behind me.
Murderer. She killed my wife.
I’m frightened. I’ve never felt such fear. Not when my father was laid on top of me that night. Not when I took my first life that very same day. Not even when I noticed Ada changing colour and getting sick.
This is something else.
My gaze catches on a scarecrow that wasn’t there when I rode here earlier this evening.
I track it with my eyes as we speed past and when I turn to face forward again, another scarecrow is in the middle of our path.
I pull sharply on Ada’s reins, dodging it.
Glancing over my shoulder, I see that the scarecrow has turned to face me.
I shake my head and look forward once more.
We continue and, in a blink, a bigger scarecrow, bathed in red, stands in our way, its face eerily similar to the little boy’s, Callum, who I’d helped pass on. I close my eyes, my heartbeat rising higher. Ada neighs, slowing a little.
“What’s wrong, girl? We gotta go, please keep going!
” I beg her. She snorts and picks her speed back up.
I look around and notice four more scarecrows in an upcoming field, all of them red, but I see my father’s face on one, mother on another, Mad Maude next to her, grinning at me and then the little boy I first ever killed.
I can hear Mad Maude’s laugh, echo around me as we ride past and carry on following the river.
What is happening?
I close my eyes so I can’t see any more scarecrows. I don’t want to see their faces ever again. I killed them all, job or not. Callum, I didn’t kill but my god did that death hurt me. I felt the pain of his loss.
I clutch onto my pendant with one hand and pray to whatever God exists to fetch me my God.
Gray, I fucking need you. I need help!
Richard knows who I am. By now he must have pieced together that it was me who killed the lord.
He could have seen me earlier in town at the tavern or near the dead bodies I helped pass before collecting their souls.
Richard can pin everything on me now. I’ve always been so careful but since meeting Gray, I’ve grown distracted, greedy, desperate…
Obsessed.
I feel like I’ve let a man ruin my life and now another man is possibly chasing me.
Why did Gray show up that day? Why has he become more than a pair of eyes in the crowd?
Why did he turn into a full man and tell me his true nature?
Stupid girl. I hate men, I’ve always hated men. Look where it’s gotten me!
The rage building up inside me burns, making my eyes swell with tears that I refuse to let fall for any man.
A few moments pass and I open my eyes to find my bearings. Halfway home. I turn round to where Richard lives and see glowing lights. I face forward and hold onto Ada’s reins so tightly, my hands cramps.
“Ada, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I got us into this mess.
I promise I will look after you when we are safe.
You’re my girl, my everything. Don’t give up on me.
We’ve got this!” I encourage her. She’s run so much over the past couple of hours, to and from Richard’s, and has barely slowed for a moment.
She needs a drink soon; I can give her that much at least.
We pass a secluded stream where Ada slows down and ducks her head for a drink.
I jump off, stretch my legs and rub her neck, checking my surroundings.
The moonlight is the only thing to guide us, and the shadows could be filled with anyone or anything.
Goosebumps travel around my body and I grow a little impatient with Ada.
Richard will soon catch up to me if we stay here any longer.
“You ready, my sweet?” I ask her softly, stroking her face.
She doesn’t make a noise like she usually does.
“Ada, please, I know this is painful, I know it’s been a long night and you’re tired, but we just need to get home and then we can leave once I collect some supplies for us.
I need to let Milly and the chickens free.
I can’t leave them locked up forever.” I place my head on Ada’s.
“Please.” Desperation claws up my back and I jump onto Ada to force her to move.
She neighs loudly and I rub her neck and shush her.
“I’m sorry! Please, go!” I kick her sides and she darts off back to a gallop.
After a good long run, we finally get close to my cottage. Benny and the hens chirp loudly, Milly moos constantly and it doesn’t feel right. I jump off Ada, giving her a moment to relax as I free the other animals.
“Go, be free. I’m sorry!” I say as I shoo the chickens and slap Milly’s behind to get her moving.
I burst through my front door, swipe the kitchen table clean and put my blanket from my bed on top.
I throw in as many rations as I can, roll up the contents and then throw it over one shoulder, knotting it in front of me.
I grab a glass of water and down it, then look out of the window.
The glowing lights have followed me.
Fuck.
I have no choice but to leave my weapons and my dagger is still at Richard’s. I’m fucked. I run outside accepting my fate, ready to flee.
“Ada!” I shout in a panic. Where is she?
“Gray!” I panic more. Did she leave me with the other animals?
Please no, Ada. I put my fingers to my mouth and whistle as loud as I can.
Surely enough, Ada slowly walks towards me from behind the blacksmith hut.
I sigh in relief but worry overwhelms me at the sight of her.
All grey apart from the black on her legs. My heart hurts.
“Ada,” I whisper as she limps towards me.
I apologise to her over, and over and quickly give her a sweet treat that I managed to grab from my rations.
She perks up a little and bows her head.
I take the opportunity to climb back on her and she neighs in pain.
What have I done to her? To us? I don’t have time to think about it; I hear shouting in the distance and soon it will be dawn.
I need to hide.
Now.
I click my heels into Ada, steering her towards Epping Forest and hoping I can lose Richard there. I know that forest inside and out; I grew up in it, searching for animals to break and kill.
It takes longer than I’d like to get to the edge of the forest. The moonlight is just peering through the branches, and I can just about see where to go. Ada hesitates and I try my best to encourage her.
“This will all be over soon, sweet girl. I promise. We just need to get in there deep enough that they can’t find us, okay?
Trust me,” I whisper near her ear, and she snorts, bowing her head again.
She takes a slow stroll into the forest, trying to mind her footing and I look over my shoulder.
The glowing lights closer and we need to run. Now.
“Over here!”
“I saw her!”
“Murderer!”
“Die!”
“Ada, run!” I heel Ada so hard she cries out, surging forward.
It worked and I'm ashamed, but it had to be done.
Sounds of other horses neighing and galloping follow behind me.
The shouts of men carry through the trees as the forest starts to light up behind me from the glow of their torches.
Arrows whistle by my head and I pull Ada left to dodge them.
She jumps over trunks and goes around the trees best she can.
Flaming arrows pass my head and I can see better thanks to the fire, but so can they.
My heart pounds in my chest, the sound almost entirely drowning out the men's cries.
My body grows stiff in this riding position and I hurt all over.
I have to get through this. Ada needs to get through this. It will end soon.
“Split up men!”
“Go left!”
“Give me more arrows!”
“Don’t let her get away!”
“You’re doing so well, Ada! Keep going, girl!” I encourage her. She runs as fast as she can but it’s not fast enough. The men are getting closer and so are the flames. I dare to look back and spot Richard’s horse and his hat, dodging around the trees, hot on my trail.
I’m dead.
I can’t escape this.
But I must.
Gray! Please help me, I’m going to die! Do something! It’s not my time! I’m not ready…
Suddenly, the world becomes topsy-turvy and I can’t tell up from down. I hear Ada crying out in pain, and I shout with her before my vision goes black.
My eyes open and I shake my head, dizzy and hurting all over. Looking around, I realise I’m on the floor. What happened? I lift my head and look around.
Ada lies on her side. No…
I crawl over to her and see red glistening in the glow of the approaching torches. Her leg.
Fuck!
I crawl to her head, shifting my legs around her so I can hold her head the best I can.
This is it.
I’m not leaving her. She’s been through so much with me, she deserves to be held one last time. I accept death.
I welcome it now.
Fire arrows are shot into the trees around us, illuminating the forest. I can see everything now. Ada’s leg is broken, her bone sticking out. I whisper to her just how sorry I am, but she makes so much noise. She’s in too much pain. I need to end her.
A crow flies down, landing on Ada, and she instantly quietens, relaxing in my arms. I stroke her face and give her a kiss.
The crow flies off as Ada passes in my arms. I let out a wail, holding her tight.
My grief is all consuming, but I’m aware enough to hear someone get off their horse and approach me.
Kill me. I don’t care anymore. I accept this. Death, take me.
I look up and stare into the eyes of Richard.
He’s won.
“Oh, Evelyn. I finally have you. Do you know how hard it was to get information on you? I have been trying to hunt down your identity for days. Bernard was useless, he only told me your name was Mary. How fitting considering your role at the Tower of London.” He laughs, pulling his baton from its sheath.
“I even tracked down some of your whores.” He spits the word at me.
“Seems all the girls at De-Vil’s place were gone, no luck there.
Not until I hunted down Sid. Remember her?
” He smacks his baton into his palm. “She was sleeping with Lord Hale before you killed him.”
He swings the baton to the right side of my face. “She told me everything she knew, Evie.” The baton connects with my cheek, cracking. “Even your dear stableboy spoke up after he saw you in the alley behind the baker’s with that man.” He slams down the baton on top of my head.
My vision blurs, and my head pounds. I'm so goddamn dizzy.
Adrenaline is taking away some of the pain, but I know it won’t last long and soon I’ll feel every moment of this.
I turn my head to spit out blood, trying not to get any on Ada.
“He told me how you cut off his cock and slit his throat? Did you really think no one saw you?” He crouches down next to me and strokes Ada.
I stare at him with as much anger as I can show, despite still seeing double.
“Finally, you came after me.” Richard pulls my right arm away from Ada’s head and stamps on it, my bones shattering under his boot.
I stifle a scream. I can’t give him too much satisfaction right now.
“The biggest mistake of your life. That fight? You nearly had me at one point, I will give you that to take to your grave, but I won. I may have lost my wife, but I will avenge her.”
Dawn breaks and streams of sunlight replace the moonlight. Richard notices how I quickly glance at the changing sky through the trees and he starts to laugh. A crow passes through the glow of the sun and caws.
It is time.
“This is the last sunrise you will ever see, Evelyn. Your time has come and I will take your life, just like you took my wife’s and so many others’.”
Richard pulls out my dagger. Mine. He raises it and pauses, thinking for a moment before lowering the blade and coming closer to me, his breath on my ear.
“I’m going to do this slowly, I think. I look forward to watching your life drain from your eyes, you sick fuck.
” He holds back my head and slices my throat, not too deep but I still feel the blood trickling down me.
This is it.
Richard stabs the dagger into one of my shoulders, then the other. Pain radiates throughout my whole body, but I’m too weak to defend myself.
I’ve accepted this fate, I know this is my end and I will join everyone else who I've ever killed. My head drops forward and I end up bleeding on Ada.
I’m so sorry, girl.
You deserved better than to be stuck with me.
The men around me cheer and celebrate, but I'm too far gone to understand their words. It’s clear they’re enjoying this show—my show.
The crow that has been hovering around pecks at Richard's ankles and I briefly smile, knowing that's Gray.
My smile quickly fades as I think of him not actually being here with me at this moment.
How could he let this happen? He should be here, holding my hand or giving me some form of comfort, like we gave those other poor bastards.
I close my eyes completely. I don’t have any energy. I gargle out a sigh and relax down onto Ada.
Richard shouts and someone comes around to the other side of me, putting their hands on my head and forcing me to look at Richard.
He places the knife in my side, just under my rib and ever so slowly, pushes it in, while I stare at him, forcing my eyes to stay open and alert.
His pupils are blown, an all too familiar darkness there.
He is loving this.
Gray, I love you.