Chapter 7 Luciu #3
Darius places his hands on her shoulders and begins to knead. “Does that mean I might have a nice ass, too, someday?”
I lean back. Compared to Puck, Darius is a much slimmer, less muscular build. But it’s the same genetics. “Yeah, man. Looking just fine.”
He seems to brighten, his smile widening into a grin.
The guy is something else. I shake my head and find I’m smiling, too. All of this happened because I was stupid. But I already wouldn’t give up my witch wife for anything. This is like a real-life Baggins Brigade story. And I’m part of it. A small part, but still.
“I like that,” Darius says. “Witch wife. Rolls off the tongue.”
“What?” Gracie says and frowns up at him then me.
“Uh… Did I say that out loud?” I blurt out.
Darius flinches. “Shit. That wasn’t a now moment, was it?”
“Nope.” Gracie’s gaze settles on me, and I start to sweat.
“I, uh, sorry. That’s my fault.” I resist the urge to tug at my shirt. Fuck, I think even my ass crack is sweating now.
“Luc, chill the fuck out.” She reaches into the pocket plastered against her thigh and produces a slim pen vape. “I don’t like these much, but emergencies are emergencies. Here. You look like you’re about to have an aneurysm.”
“I’ve never… Uh…” I wiggle my fingers. “You know. Smoked.”
She shrugs and pockets the vape without pressure or judgement. “Witch wife, huh?”
I scrub my hand over my face. “Fuck. Yes.”
“Sounds kind of cute.”
I peer at her from between my fingers. The sunlight makes her hair gleam like polished onyx.
She has a strong face, her features finely carved, but softened by her smile.
The smattering of freckles is adorable and makes her seem…
Approachable. There’s something innately kind about her that draws me in and makes me want to offer my heart up on a platter.
“I, um…”
“Luc?”
“Yes?”
“Witch husband doesn’t have the same ring to it, does it?”
I blink at her a few times. “No, not really.”
“Hm. I can’t call Vyslan Demon Daddy for real, though.”
“Is Puppy Daddy really what he calls Ezra?” Darius whispers.
I perk up at that. “Sorry… What?”
She chuckles and shakes her head. “Don’t ask me to explain that one. Just—don’t. It’s their thing, and I want no part of that. I still call Dad Daddy sometimes. They’re just very intense and I think I would kill their vibe giggling. I’m fine with the two of them having their own thing.”
Darius turns Gracie and gives her a little push toward me. “Luc, would you mind?”
I feel a lick of heat up my spine. Dangerous magic is being cast somewhere near. I reach out and clutch Gracie to my chest, my fingers already curling to make the necessary gestures.
Something massive and brown, with claws and fangs six inches long, leaps down from above the garage onto the gravel.
The thing snarls, and green smoke drifts up from its snout.
I’m not even sure what the hell I’m looking at.
There isn’t enough time to react or do anything before the furry, cute ferret draped around Darius’ shoulders flings itself to the ground.
And in doing so, becomes what I can only call a cross between a wooly rhino and an elephant, only make it carnivorous.
The not-ferret rises up on its hind legs while the I-don’t-know-what crouches, ready to pounce.
But the not-ferret is faster, descending on the monster with its gargantuan weight.
Bones snap and crunch. There’s this sickening roar-howl of pain.
The not-ferret wraps its trunk around the creature, lifts it, and drops it into a mouth sprouting from where I would expect the spine to be.
The would-be attacker yelps before it’s crunched in half like a crisp.
“Goddess,” Gracie mutters.
“What the fuck just happened?” I whisper, holding onto her like I can become her shield.
“Good job,” Darius coos at the thing while its back and ribs undulate like it’s chewing.
What the actual fuck did I just watch?
Gracie and I cling to each other, speechless.
The wooly-rhino-elephant-meat-eater sort of bubbles and balloons before shrinking into a large, toothy brindled dog the size of a pony.
“You didn’t have to eat it.” Darius goes down on one knee, scratching his familiar’s head. “That’s my precious baby.”
“Holy shit, Isa!” Gracie exclaims.
The familiar ducks its head, seeming almost bashful.
Darius beams at his familiar then Gracie like a proud papa. “Isa is very talented.”
“Fuck yeah. Isa, you are the most precious, perfect baby ever.”
The terrifying dog-thing Isa has turned into hops in place, betraying its gelatin body. Beings with bones don’t wobble like that. But there’s undeniable joy behind the toothy grin and lolling tongue.
Darius turns, keeping one hand on his familiar, and slaps the other against his thigh. “Come on. We have thralls to kill and a vampire to save.”
Gracie takes me by the hand and drags me toward the doors, with the fae and familiar bringing up the rear.
Do I bring anything into this family?
“Darius?” I call out. “I have one question I’m dreading asking you.”
“What is it?”
“Am I the weakest in this bunch?”
“Strength and weakness are relative.” He comes closer and holds up his hand, shielding his mouth in a conspiratorial manner. “I’ll tell you two a secret. I have no idea who is the most powerful, but I know how it goes if Puck thinks he’s the strongest.”
For a moment the three of us stare at one another, then Gracie and I laugh.
Holy shit. Darius is not to be fucked with.
Gracie elbows me then mimes zipping her lips. I do the same, and we laugh. I can’t help it.
How is this my life? How did I get so lucky?