Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
Landon
Sleep usually comes easy to me. When I was in the military, we learned to rest any time, any place, for however long we could.
And I’m one of those people who can doze off almost anywhere.
Four hours is all I need to function, and six is like a vacation.
On the rare occasion I sleep longer than that, I tend to store it up to use when I need it. It’s just the way I’m wired.
It’s about one in the morning and I’m just dropping off to sleep when a noise from the bedroom startles me.
My eyes pop open and I wait, listening. It sounds like Allora’s talking to someone.
She must be on the phone again, so I close my eyes and am just about to sleep when I hear it again, but this time it’s more like a cry.
I sit up. I know there’s no one in there with her—I have security sensors on all the windows—which can only mean one thing.
Slowly, I get to my feet and pad soundlessly across the room, pausing outside the bedroom door to listen. I don’t want to disturb her if she’s having a good cry, but I also need to make sure she’s okay.
“No! Stop!” Her cries are louder and filled with fear now, and I open the door without thinking.
She’s thrashing on the bed, arms swinging, head turning from side to side, and I can’t bear to watch her suffer. Even if it’s just a dream.
I sink on the edge of the mattress and gently grip her shoulder. “Allora. Honey, wake up.” I shake her a little but she’s still crying out, shaking her head, and smacking my hand.
“Allora.” I speak louder and more firmly now. “Wake up. It’s just a dream. I’m right here.”
Her eyes pop open but I can tell she’s still half-asleep.
“It’s me,” I repeat quietly. “Landon. You’re safe. It was just a bad dream.”
“Wha—” She blinks a few times and then sits up. “Where…oh, shit.” She looks around and then closes her eyes. “I’m sorry. Did I…wake you?”
“No, I was awake,” I say gently. “I heard you cry out.”
“That’s the first time I had a nightmare about…” She chews her lip. “You know.”
“The assault.” I say it quietly but firmly. She won’t get over this by us dancing around the issues.
“Yes.” She shudders a little. “It was so real.”
“But it’s not. You’re here and no one will touch you again as long as I’m still breathing.”
Her eyes find mine in the semi-darkness, and I’m not sure what I see there. Curiosity. Gratitude. And something else that’s more complex. Then, before I realize what she’s doing, she throws her arms around me, holding on tight.
I hesitate for a beat because I don’t want to take advantage of her when she’s as vulnerable as she is now, but I also can’t seem to resist her.
She feels so good pressed against me, my arms close around her of their own volition.
Her slender body fits perfectly against mine and I try not to focus on the soft breasts pressing into my chest. Or the scent of coconut coming from her hair.
Or the way she clings to me like I’m her lifeline.
I don’t like playing the hero. I do what I do because it’s the right thing to do but this is different. When I went on military missions, there were no names and rarely any faces. It was just a matter of completing each mission.
It wasn’t personal.
It didn’t feel like it does having Allora in my arms.
The slight stirring of my cock.
The urge to run my fingers through her hair, to tilt up her face and stare down into her beautiful blue eyes.
But that would be a shitty thing to do.
She’s scared and vulnerable and I’m supposed to be protecting her, not thinking about how to get in her pants.
Except she’s snuggled against me like she never intends to move, and I don’t have the heart to push her away.
So, I just stroke her back and continue to hold her for what seems like an eternity.
“Landon?” She speaks quietly, voice somewhere muffled against my chest.
“Yes?”
“Is it okay for me to sit here like this for a little longer?”
My body wants me to say yes but my brain is screaming no.
Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, depending upon your perspective, my mouth is more in tune to my body than my brain.
“Of course.”
“I feel safe with you.”
“I’m glad.”
Slowly, she lifts her head and looks up at me…expectantly.
Christ, what is she doing? I know that look, have seen it hundreds of times with lots of different women.
But they weren’t clients.
They also hadn’t been raped a week prior.
They weren’t—my thoughts are interrupted by her leaning up and ever-so-softly pressing her lips to mine. And they’re even sweeter than I imagined they would be. Her breath is warm against my mouth, and it takes strength I didn’t know I possessed not to capture her lips and ravage her mouth.
Her touch is light but my body comes alive in a way it hasn’t in a long time. I’ve been in a bit of a sexual drought simply because of how busy I’ve been, but this isn’t the time or the person to do that with.
I can’t be selfish, no matter how good it feels.
“Honey, I don’t think—” I begin.
“Shh.” She cuts me off, her voice a whisper against my mouth, letting her lips linger.
Damn but she’s sweet.
For a few seconds, I allow myself to get lost in her closeness but I know we have to stop.
Before things go too far.
No matter what my traitorous body thinks, my brain is slowly bringing me back to my senses. I can’t in good conscience let her seduce me. Under any other circumstances, I’d be all in. But not now.
“Allora.” I gently pull away, eyes never leaving hers. “You know this isn’t a good idea.”
“Says who?” She cocks her head slightly, watching me intently.
“For one thing, it’s company policy.” That’s a bald-faced lie, but I don’t want her to feel rejected. “And for another, it’s only been a week since your kidnapping.”
“There’s a time limit on how I choose to heal?” she asks, a touch of annoyance in her voice.
Ugh.
I’m almost positive I’m doing the right thing, but it sure doesn’t feel like it.
“I don’t know if it’s black and white but probably, yes.”
She sits back abruptly, pulling her knees to her chest and dropping her gaze. “It’s fine. I understand. I shouldn’t have kissed you. I apologize.”
Jesus. The last thing she needs to do is apologize. I’m the one who should be apologizing. I just don’t know for what. For doing what I believe is right? For not taking advantage of someone vulnerable? For pretending that it’s not allowed even though there’s no such rule at Shadow Security?
“You don’t have to apologize. You had a bad dream and were feeling lonely. I understand.”
She stares at me for a beat, like she wants to protest but then just looks away. “I’m also sorry I bothered you.”
“It’s not a bother.” Slowly, I get to my feet. “But if you’re okay now, I’ll let you rest.”
“Thanks.” Her tone is dismissive and while part of me wants to stay, talk to her a little longer, smooth things over, it’s probably smarter if I don’t.
I’m not sure I can resist her if she tries again, and the longer we’re together the more attracted I am.
I close the bedroom door quietly behind me and then stand there, listening. I’m not sure what I think I’m going to hear, but for some reason, I’m rooted to the spot.
Waiting.
Hoping...she gives me a reason to go back inside?
But there’s nothing.
No sound at all, like she’s holding her breath on the other side of the door waiting for me to go away.
So, that’s what I do.
I lay down on the couch, pull up the blanket, and close my eyes.
There’s no way in hell I’m getting a good night’s sleep after that encounter, but I have to try.
For her sake if not for my own.