Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
Allora
It’s a long day. I can’t say it didn’t go well but the whole dynamic makes me nervous. I want my father and Landon to get along but I don’t want him to be brought into the fold, which is what it feels like.
Landon was gone for about an hour but then came back looking happy, talking animatedly with Metal.
About his car. Apparently, they both love Mustangs, which is fair.
I think they’re pretty cool too. But then Dad got involved.
And Thunder. Talking cars and motorcycles and going riding together sometime.
The ladies all went out of their way to be friendly but it felt forced, except for Layla. She’s the only one who made me feel like I genuinely made a friend.
Aunt Fern just wants me to come back, be part of them again, which would never happen anyway but couldn’t happen in any significant way unless Grim patched in—and that’s not going to happen.
So, I don’t understand what they’re trying to do.
And it’s exhausting.
I’m quiet on the drive back to Rage’s apartment, and it takes forever because Grim goes the long way.
Taking side roads and smaller highways all the way.
Looking for a tail. Making sure it’s safe to get out of the truck.
Everything is such an ordeal. I know why we have to do it but that doesn’t make it any less exhausting.
I collapse on the couch and close my eyes.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, sinking down beside me.
“Today was a lot.”
“You didn’t have fun?”
I open my eyes and frown. “Do you think I’m just being stubborn when I say I want to keep a distance from the club?
It’s not my life anymore. Maybe I’m bitchy and spoiled, but I love my life, current circumstances notwithstanding.
The club stays mostly off the grid; they live simple lives.
And I don’t. Maybe we should have talked about this before, but I’m not a simple woman.
I like expensive things, fancy hotels, nice clothes.
I enjoy the finer things in life. I love to travel and see new places.
I drive a convertible. I love designer bags and have so many shoes and purses, it might be excessive.
” I pause and meet his eyes. “I don’t know how you feel about a woman like that. ”
“I haven’t seen that side of you.,” he admits quietly. “I guess I saw a little of it in Denver but you’ve been pretty chill since we’ve been together.”
“I am chill. Cuddling on the couch watching movies is great. Cooking together. Lazy mornings in bed. Hanging with friends and your family. It’s all good. But I also like to shop. Travel. And I don’t camp—please don’t ever ask me to sleep in a tent on the ground.”
He actually laughs. “That I can promise.”
“I mean, if we have kids and you want to take them camping, you’re welcome to. I’m just not sleeping anywhere that doesn’t have indoor plumbing.”
“Noted.” He seems more amused than anything.
I cock my head. “Have I scared you off?”
He reaches for my hand. “Not in the least.”
“The thing is, camping and picnics and that kind of thing are all the club cares about. That’s not what they stand for—I’m not getting into their stance on freedom and living by their own code—but their lifestyle is simple.
There’s plenty of money, but it’s used so that they can live off the grid, for the most part.
They don’t travel unless it’s something club related.
That’s not the life I want, and we need to be on the same page now that you’ve experienced it firsthand. ”
“Look, I couldn’t give two shits about camping. I don’t understand the club’s lifestyle, but I’m trying to be respectful of it because he’s still your father. Unless and until you decide to cut him out of your life, we have to find a balance. That’s all I’m trying to do.”
“I don’t want to cut him out of my life.
I’m just trying to explain that I can be a bit of a princess, and I don’t know if that’s okay with you.
Because I can spend one Sunday at the club having a cookout but their life isn’t what I want.
Because next Sunday I want to be in New York or Paris. Does that make sense?”
He slides an arm around my neck. “It does. And I’m fine with that. I don’t know that I’ll ever want to go shopping with you, but I do like a nice suit. In fact, Courtney is having custom tuxedos made for all of us because of the level of clientele we have.”
“I have a job and my own money,” I add quickly. “So please don’t think I want you to subsidize my lifestyle. I—”
“I get it, babe.” He leans over and kisses me.
“Really. You get to be who you are. On my end, I enjoy fast cars, motorcycles, anything with speed. I’ve wanted to buy another Mustang for years but without a garage, it would be hard to leave it outside all the time.
If we buy a house someday, I’d like a three-car garage so I could work on it. ”
“That’s not a problem for me.”
“I guess I like a combination of simple and fancy too. I like good food, so five-star restaurants are a thing for me. I’m not much for expensive wine but enjoy good champagne. I’ve always wanted to tour that region of France.”
My eyes widen and I put a hand on my chest. “Be still my heart—yes, please!”
We laugh and continue talking as we get ready for bed.
There is so much more to Landon than the burly, muscular man on the outside. The more we get to know each other, the more confident I am in the relationship.
If only we didn’t have to stay hidden all the time.
No one knows where we’re living except me, Landon, Elliott, Luna, Daniil, Courtney, and my father.
That’s still a lot of people but Courtney and Daniil make all the decisions.
We’re living in Rage’s apartment so he had to be part of the discussion.
Luna is in charge of security, watches Rage’s cameras, and keeps digital tabs on both me and Landon.
And my father insisted he needs to know where I am, just in case.
He also swore he wouldn’t tell anyone, not even his brothers.
I understand the need for these precautions, but it’s frustrating not to be able to go shopping. See my friends. I haven’t even been able to work, other than the trip to Denver. The New York job is coming up in two weeks and I’m determined to go but I know Landon doesn’t want me to.
On top of that, I’d like to be able to go out with Landon.
Dinner. A movie. The beach. Normal couple things.
This is so cloak and dagger, it doesn’t feel real.
Hell, I can’t even drive my car, which adds another layer of frustration.
It’s not Landon’s fault. It’s really not anyone’s fault, so there isn’t even anyone I can vent to.
We still haven’t discussed the option to draw out the kidnappers by letting me get back to my life, and we have to. I just don’t want to argue. I understand where he’s coming from but I don’t know how much longer I can do this.
“Landon?” We’re in bed, after another round of mind-blowing sex, and I’m curled into his chest.
“Yeah?”
“We have to talk about the elephant in the room.”
He groans. “Now?”
“Well, we keep avoiding it.”
“Because we already know we disagree and it seems pointless to argue.”
“You can’t be happy being locked up in this little apartment with me for eternity.”
“Well, I can think of worse places, with much worse company,” he says lightly, squeezing one of my butt cheeks.
“Landon.”
“I know, baby. I just don’t know what the solution is. Daniil agrees we might have to make a move but he isn’t sure how to do it safely.”
“If all of you are close by—you, Elliott, Chris—you really think they can still get me?”
“I don’t know,” he says quietly. “That’s what scares me.”
“I have an important job in New York. I have to go. I can’t risk my career.”
“But you can risk your life?”
“Yes.”
He sighs and strokes my back.
“You risk your life all the time,” I point out after a moment.
“I know.”
“But I can’t.”
“I didn’t say you can’t, I just don’t want you to.”
Well, here we are at another impasse.
“I’m asking you to trust me,” he says after a long, uncomfortable silence. “Can you trust me to do what I do and keep you safe until we figure this out? Please?”
Ugh.
I hate this conversation, hate that we’re both so stubborn about something that’s so important, and hate being at odds.
I’m not okay with the status quo.
There are no leads, nothing to indicate they’re any closer to finding the men who kidnapped me, nothing.
That doesn’t bode well for me.
And the fact that I don’t answer his question is probably telling as well.
I just don’t know what it’s telling me.