Chapter 25
TWENTY-FIVE
CLARA
I’d never had such appreciation for my couch as I did in this moment.
It was Christmas Eve, and instead of slaving away in front of the oven, making honey-glazed ham and the fluffiest mashed potatoes, I was lying on my couch in a cocoon of blankets, trying to get some sleep. But Abbie wasn’t having it.
She was tapping her chin while pacing in front of me. “What about caroling?” She paused and pointed at me. “You love a good harmonization.” She cleared her throat and hummed a few notes.
I pulled my blanket tight to my chin. “No,” I said.
“Christmas cookies. And I promise this time I will try to decorate better.”
I yawned. “I’m tired of Christmas cookies.” That was a sentence I never thought I would say, and it almost felt criminal.
Abbie stared at me. It must have shocked her too. It took a moment for her to return to earth. She shook her head before she pointed at me again. “I’ve got it, last-minute presents. You love shopping for last-minute presents.”
I shook my head. “No.”
Abbie tossed her arms into the air before she let them fall to her sides. “Then what do you want to do?”
I snuggled deeper into the couch. “Sit here in my pajamas and veg.”
Abbie glared at me before she swept her gaze over my body. “Those aren’t even Christmas pajamas.” She stepped up next to me and pressed her hand to my forehead.
I wiggled underneath her touch. “What are you doing?”
“Seeing if you’re sick.”
I stilled to appease her, and a few seconds later, she pulled her hand away.
“I’m writing that mayor a letter.”
At the mention of Silas, my ears perked up. “What? Why?”
Abbie pulled her phone out of her back pocket. “I wanted you to detox a bit from your Christmas craziness, but he broke you. He needs to know that I’m not happy.” She slid her finger on her screen like she was searching for something.
“Abbie, no,” I said as I tried to find the opening to my blankets so I could reach for her. “I just don’t want to do anything today. There’s no cause for alarm.”
“Ha!” Abbie glanced over at me with her eyes wide. “And you don’t see how that’s not a problem?” She shook her head. “I’m leaving a review on Grinchland, and it is not going to be a positive one.”
I gave up trying to unearth myself from the blankets and pillows and flopped back on the couch. I blew out my breath, knowing that when Abbie landed on a decision, there was nothing I could do to stop her.
She was fervently typing on her phone screen when there was a knock on the door. My stomach growled when I realized who it was.
“My Chinese,” I said as I attempted to emerge from the layers of blankets. But when it became apparent that would be impossible, I glanced over to Abbie. “Be a dear and grab it for me?” I batted my eyelashes a few times in the hopes that would convince her.
Abbie narrowed her eyes before she turned and headed toward the front door. I waited until I heard the familiar squeak of the hinges and settled back in my lair.
“Can I help you?”
That seemed like a strange greeting to give a food delivery driver. I tipped my head to the side so my ear had full access to the conversation that was taking place twenty feet away.
“Is, um…” A man with a deep voice cleared his throat. “Is Clara here?”
My entire body both froze and flushed with heat at the same time. I blinked as I attempted to process whose voice I was hearing. It sounded like Silas, but that wasn’t possible. He loved Grinchland and the tyranny he enacted there; he’d never leave.
“Is Clara here? Is Clara here?” she asked, her voice getting progressively louder as if she were trying to signal something to me. Whoever was at the door, Abbie felt I needed to be warned.
Could it really be Silas?
He must have been confused by Abbie’s outburst because it took a moment for him to respond.
“Well, is she?”
I didn’t want to leave my best friend in the lurch. I forced myself to roll off the couch and then wiggled out of the blanket cocoon. I stood, wiped the bottom of my eyes to try to look more alive, and then headed toward the front door.
“It’s not Silas,” I whispered to myself. I had imagined his voice, that was all.
Just as I rounded the corner, I straightened my shoulders and put on a smile to greet the delivery driver, but when my gaze landed on the figures standing there, my body went numb.
Isabelle and Silas were standing at my front door. Isabelle’s eyes were wide as she looked all over my entryway. Silas looked irritated at Abbie as he waited for her to respond.
“Isabelle?” I asked before I could stop myself.
Isabelle’s gaze landed on me, and before I could think, she sprinted over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist and squeezing hard. “Ms. Snow,” she said, her voice muffled by my pajama top.
I instantly hugged her back, my heart aching for all the pain this little girl had gone through, including the pain I feared I’d inflicted on her by forcing Christmas on the town. “You’re okay,” I whispered as I crouched down so I could give her a once-over.
“I missed you,” she said, her voice hushed as she leaned in closer to me.
I smiled back at her. “I missed you so much.” I pulled her in for another hug.
“Guess what.” She pulled back to look up at me.
I blinked back the tears that had formed on my eyelids. “What?” I said, matching the excitement in her voice.
“Christmas didn’t kill me,” she said matter-of-factly.
I raised my eyebrows. “Christmas didn’t kill you?” I repeated back.
She shook her head. “It didn’t. I’m okay. And I get to go to Catalina’s party!”
My smile widened. “I’m so happy for you.”
She nodded.
“We’re working on reframing things. We’re realizing that a holiday can’t actually hurt us.
” Silas’s voice grew nearer, and I wanted to look up at him.
I wanted to see him again and get lost in his gaze.
But I feared that once I allowed that connection, I was never going to be able to move on from him.
I wasn’t looking at him, but I could feel him.
From the corner of my eyes, I could see him staring down at me.
“Your house is beautiful,” Isabelle whispered as she glanced around, her gaze lingering on the living room.
“Thanks,” I said. “Although, I’m thinking about clearing some of this stuff out and moving forward. After all, I need to stop living in the past.”
That comment was more for Silas than Isabelle, but I still couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
“Hey, Belly. Think you can give Ms. Snow and me a minute alone?”
Silas squatted down next to Isabelle, and my plan of never looking at him flew out the window. He was eye level to me now, and in my stupidity, I snapped my gaze over to him. He didn’t meet my gaze. Instead, he just kept looking at his daughter.
“Why don’t you come with me, and I’ll show you Ms. Snow’s snow globe collection. They are amazing,” Abbie said as she stepped forward and reached out her hand.
Isabelle didn’t need to be asked twice. She fervently nodded and slipped her hand into Abbie’s, who then led her out of the foyer, leaving Silas and me alone.
Crouching there in silence, I knew I couldn’t ignore that he was right in front of me, so I sighed and straightened. Silas moved to join me.
“So, is everything better in Grinchland now that Christmas has officially been chased off?” I asked, not trying to hide the bite in my tone. I kept my gaze on the floor before I finally gathered my strength and turned to face him head-on.
Silas didn’t respond right away. Instead, he just stood there, studying me.
“Isabelle misses you,” he said as he shifted his weight and shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.
“Isabelle misses me?” I repeated.
He nodded and then paused before he took a breath. “I miss you, too.”
I frowned at him. “Because I was such an annoyance that now that I’m gone, you’re bored?” I folded my arms across my chest. I wanted to believe that he meant what he said, but Silas had broken my heart, I wasn’t ready to hand it to him again.
Silas studied me before he scoffed. “Clara,” he whispered.
The soft way he said my name sent shivers across my skin. I wanted to lean into it. I wanted to close my eyes and jump headfirst into the feelings coursing through me, but I couldn’t. Not when he could so quickly throw away the feelings that I knew he had for me.
“What?” I asked, trying to remain strong but failing miserably.
He glanced at the floor and then back up to me. “I was wrong,” he said, shrugging his shoulders slightly.
I needed him to keep talking. I needed to hear everything. “About what?” I asked.
“A lot of things.” He paused. “I was wrong about pushing away things that brought me joy. I was wrong to think that the best way to keep Nicole’s memory alive was to slowly die myself.” He swallowed, his jaw muscles flinching in the process. “I didn’t want to hurt, so I hurt my daughter instead.”
Emotions coated his voice, so he stopped to clear his throat. “Please come back. Isabelle and I need a little of your Christmas spirit in our lives. She—I need you.” He paused. “I want you.”
A tear slipped down my cheek as I stared at him. I let go of all of my fear, all of my pain, and I closed the gap between us. Just as I neared him, I grabbed ahold of his jacket and yanked him to me, crashing my lips into his.
He didn’t wait to respond, his hands finding my waist and pulling me to him until I wasn’t sure where my body ended and his began.
His lips moved over mine, confirming to me what I’d suspected all along—we were meant to be.
A loud cheer came from the living room. Silas and I pulled apart, glancing over to see Isabelle standing on my couch, pumping her arms in the air. My face flushed as I glanced down at the floor, grateful that this little girl was as excited as I was.
“Belly, get off the couch like that,” Silas scolded her but kept his arm wrapped tightly around my waist.
“Is Ms. Snow coming back with us?” Isabelle asked as she obediently climbed off the couch.
“It depends on if she wants to come back with us.” He glanced over at me.
“Do you want to come back to live with me?” Isabelle asked as she skipped over to where we stood.
I glanced at Isabelle and then over to Silas. His gaze was so open and unabashed that it took my breath away.
“I would like that,” I whispered, my emotions getting the best of me.
Silas leaned in and kissed me once more. “Merry Christmas, Clara,” he murmured as he broke the kiss but kept his forehead touching mine.
I smiled, knowing what those words really meant. I pulled back slightly so I could meet his gaze. I wanted him to feel the power behind my words.
“I love you, too.”