Chapter 30
Driving made me sleepy, even when I wasn’t the one driving. I felt bad going to bed so early the night before, but I could barely keep my eyes open. When I woke up the next morning, Jeremy’s arm was tucked around my waist, and he was dead asleep. Chloe, who had been relegated to the floor because barely Jeremy and I fit in the full-size bed, had one eye open and watched me as I slipped out of the covers.
Chloe followed me to the bathroom and back to the bedroom as I quietly got changed. I slipped out of the bedroom with Chloe and down the stairs to find Susan and George Vaughn in the kitchen. Susan was making breakfast while George was reading the paper with a coffee in front of him. Chloe ran to both of them for petting, which didn’t go over well with Lulu, who didn’t seem to like sharing attention with anyone. George got up to let her and Gracie out outside, and I could see the two of them running through the snow in the backyard. The weather was several degrees colder than Vancouver, and there was a fresh blanket of snow from a few days ago. At least I’d have a white Christmas, just like back home.
“How did you sleep?” George asked.
“Very well, thank you. I apologize for turning in early, but it was a long day.”
“Don’t worry about that,” George said. “We understand.”
“And Merry Christmas,” I added.
“Merry Christmas to you too,” Susan said. “We like to have a big brunch to hold us over until dinnertime. Gwen will be over with her boyfriend shortly. Then we’ll get the boys up.”
I offered to help Susan, but she told me she was almost done, so I grabbed a coffee instead, and when I eyed the small tray of muffins, George motioned for me to have one. I grabbed what looked to be a bran one and sat down. In an instant, Susan was sitting next to me with her own cup of coffee. She’d tossed something in the oven, which she explained were cinnamon buns. Jeremy’s favorite.
“Have you and Jeremy thought about setting a date?” she asked, her light brown eyes looking at me with anticipation.
“No, not yet. My best friend Tangi, and Jeremy’s best friend Ethan are getting married this summer. We wouldn’t want to steal the thunder from them.”
Jeremy and I had decided to use that excuse to hold his mom off from planning anything concrete.
“Oh right, Ethan. Such a sweet boy. But I don’t see why you can’t get married the same summer. Maybe a late August wedding?”
George dipped the paper and looked at Susan. “Why are you pestering her?”
“I’m just getting some details.” She turned her gaze back to me. “Have you thought about where you’d like to get married? There are some great places here if you were thinking Calgary. I know you mentioned not having much of an attachment to home. If you aren’t busy this afternoon, we could drive by some venues.”
Oh boy. So much for holding her off.
George let out an exasperated sigh. “Susan, please.”
She ignored him. “You probably want something small? There are some great restaurants, or maybe a country club? I could scout those out for you and see what dates are available.”
All this talk with her was a bit depressing. I hated thinking about a wedding that was never going to happen. “Why don’t I talk to Jeremy? We should make these decisions together.”
Susan scoffed. “He won’t care.”
George shot Susan another look. “I think your cinnamon buns are burning.”
Susan rolled her eyes, but laid off for now.
I could barely contain my joy when Jeremy wandered into the kitchen. He wished his mom a merry Christmas and gave her a hug. He did the same with his dad. He gave me a hug too, and kissed me on the cheek. I squeezed his hand, hoping he knew that I didn’t want to be left alone.
The rest of the family began filing in. Gwen came with her boyfriend Kent, and Jamie woke up and called his girlfriend Bree to come over. Jeremy explained that his aunts, uncles, and cousins would be coming that night. Two massive tables had already been set up downstairs for the young ones—anyone not over fifty—to eat at, and after dinner, they’d play various games and open Christmas presents.
“I didn’t bring anything,” I whispered to him.
“Don’t worry. We do a Secret Santa, and Mom has taken care of our gifts to whoever’s name she picked for us. It’s all good.”
I hated Christmas, but I was looking forward to this.
After I’d stuffed my face with hash-brown casserole, French toast, bacon, ham, rye toast, and a cinnamon bun, I could barely move. I beached myself on one of the plush chairs next to Gwen. Susan had just made the best breakfast I’d ever had, but Jeremy’s potatoes were still better.
“That was great,” I said.
“My mom knows how to cook. I’ll give her that.”
I turned to face Gwen better, which was difficult after all the food I’d eaten. “We didn’t really get a chance to talk yesterday. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you. Jeremy says only great things.”
She grinned, and her steel-blue eyes seemed to laugh too. “Did he tell you I’m pretty blunt? And the black sheep while he can do no wrong?”
“He may have mentioned it, but I’m pretty blunt too. And nothing about him being the favorite. Typical, though. The sons are always the preferred child.”
“Oh, I’m going to like you! Well, I already do. It’s not often he brings a girl around, mostly because he knows Mom will lose her shit and plan a wedding. Since he told them about the engagement, you’d think she was getting married again. Let me warn you now: she expects grandchildren right away.”
“Oh,” I said and laughed. “Okay. Well, we’re in no rush.”
“Don’t tell my mom that.” She motioned for me to move in closer. “Like I said, he doesn’t bring around many girlfriends, but you definitely break the mold. I’m glad he’s finally stopped chasing after airheads. You’re a smart one!”
“I am?”
She scooted even closer to me. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with someone who has a whole brain. That’s why you are different. You have substance, and you give him a challenge. I think he got bored with all those women before you. Sex can only take you so far.”
That sort of tracked with what I knew of him. “Agreed. Sometimes I wonder if I challenge him too much.”
“Nah. If he thought that, he’d be long gone.”
But she didn’t know about our arrangement. She had no idea that he couldn’t go anywhere. I thought about that for a second. Would he be long gone given the opportunity?
“We come from totally different backgrounds, so I’m not sure we are exactly compatible, but so far it’s working.”
“Depends on what you mean by that. I don’t know if Jeremy told you, but I’m not going to have kids. I don’t want them. I made that pretty clear to my parents, and Mom just wouldn’t believe me. When she wouldn’t give it a rest, I had my tubes tied.”
I didn’t know how old Gwen was, but I guessed she was maybe a few years older than Jeremy, so around my age. To know at thirtyish that she didn’t want kids—that she’d made that kind of decision—was admirable. “I’m guessing that didn’t go over well.”
“Mom lost it. She thinks women were put on this earth to have children. I argued that we had more than enough children on this earth, and many have no one taking care of them. She backed off, but when I had my tubes tied, she stopped bugging me all together. She even stopped talking to me for a few days. I’m much happier now.”
“You are my hero.”
“Wait, you don’t want kids?”
The kids question again. “I don’t know. I had a crappy childhood. I’m not sure I’d make a good mother. And when I look at my life, I don’t see kids in it.”
Gwen smiled sympathetically. “I’m not going to push you either way, but make that decision when you’re ready. And don’t worry where you came from, just focus on who you can be. The one thing you need to be is honest with Jeremy. I know he’s going to want kids, and this should be a conversation you have soon.”
I really liked Gwen, and we talked a lot until Susan put us to work. Susan told me she expected thirty-five people for dinner, and my eyes nearly popped out. I couldn’t count that many family members anywhere, but I was excited. I helped set the two basement tables with Gwen’s help, since it had to be done a certain way, according to Susan. I then moved on to food prep, and Susan had me cutting vegetables for salad, and putting together trays of appetizers. Mostly simple things like cheese and crackers. Luckily, Jeremy got the potato-peeling job.
Every family was instructed to bring at least one dish, so that made sense. I couldn’t see how Susan could do this alone. I was giddy when people started showing up, and even though I was introduced as Jeremy’s fiancée and would likely never meet any of these people again, I made sure to have a great time. And I did. It was the best Christmas I’d ever had. We ate, drank—in moderation—opened gifts, played games, and by the end of the night, I was too wired to sleep.
Jeremy tried to sleep, but I couldn’t stop talking, telling him how much fun I’d had.
“You’re welcome to come back every year,” he said in a sleepy voice.
“Not unless we plan to get married,” I said with a laugh. “I think your mom is going to be devastated when she hears the truth.”
“I’ll handle that. She’ll get over it. I don’t plan to get married anytime soon, so she can park the pressure.”
He drifted off to sleep, and I thought about what he’d just said. Yes, we had both decided that this wasn’t real, but why did it hurt a little? Suddenly, everything Gwen said came back to me, and here Jeremy was saying he wasn’t settling down anytime soon. That meant he definitely was never settling down with me, and that was still a punch to the gut.