17. The Cowardly Queen of Her Porcelain Throne
Just as Mr. MacKinnon threw himself between the two women, Mick grabbed Avi’s aggressor by the wrist of her cocked fist and spun her into a desperate bear hug. Bonnie put up quite a fight, but after being dragged some fifteen yards in the opposite direction, she relented. Stomping and huffing, she made her way back to the house.
“Kin ye believe that haughty wee hussy?!” Bonnie yelled. “Who does she think she is?!”
Mick played the part of calming sage as Min and Jennifer had yet to recover from the sheer shock of the kiss multiplied by the near murder they’d witnessed.
“It’s alright,” Mick said. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll put on some tea, hide the sharp cutlery, and we’ll have a nice talk…hopefully, get your mind elsewhere.”
On the surface, it seemed as if Bonnie’s interruption had tainted or even ruined their kiss, but in Avi’s mind, it couldn’t have gone any better. She got to embrace and enjoy every single second of it. And when it was over, Bonnie’s gasp prevented Avi from ruining it with awkward silence, giddy snorts, or by asking, “Please, sir…may I have some more?” No. The kiss was perfect just as it was…Bonnie and all.
“Sorry aboot that,” he said with a hint of embarrassment.
Avi wasn’t sure what to say…it was perfect…it’s not your fault…I’m losing Hawthorne Hall either way…it was worth it. Any of those options would have certainly sufficed, but before she could choose, he ran his fingers through her hair, disengaging the connection between her mind and mouth.
“Ah’d better go talk tae her,” he said as he turned to go after them.
It was fine…great even! The awkwardness was avoided yet again, and if she hurried to her room and retired for the night, there’d be no chance of any abatements to the feelings they’d felt. They could dream and re-dream their kiss, forget their dreams by dawn, and still have the perfect reality of their first kiss forever etched in their memories. And when morning came and all the other guests left by carriage, she would pull him aside, explain her unfortunate financial circumstances, and together they could chart a course that kept what they had intact.
His kiss had induced a fearlessness within her that was far more convincing than Corey’s or Gracie’s speeches. It was all going to work out with him. She was sure of it. His lips had just testified of what his words had yet to, so she hurried off to bed, attempting to prevent change from rearing its ugly head.
As Avi woke on the ninth and final morning of her Regency experience, she did so to the sweet, contemporary buzz of electricity running through the bulb of her bedside table lamp. Surprisingly, she was mostly glad to be back in the twenty-first century and only slightly sad that Hawthorne Hall would be coming to a rather abrupt end. Why? It marked a turning point in Avi’s life where within hours, she would no longer have to hide from Bonnie, run from hope, or wait for Mr. MacKinnon. The thought charged her spirit as she charged her phone and texted Gracie with the directive to organize the stagecoaches in any order she pleased so long as the first to leave was Bonnie’s and the last was Mr. MacKinnon’s.
Over the next three and a half hours, Avi sat on the closed toilet lid of the downstairs half bathroom trying to pass the time on her flip phone by alternating back and forth between pixelated games of chess and Minesweeper. At a quarter to eleven, the phone’s one-barred battery icon turned red and began blinking before the screen went black.
“Oh, come on…”
She wished she hadn’t left her charger in her room, but she was in such a hurry to get to her hiding place before the other guests awoke that she kindly forgave herself and resorted to pacing the tiled floor. Fortunately, she didn’t have to wait long. When the commotion of clopping hooves, creaking wheels, and bustling staff members snuck through the window from outside, she hiked up her skirt and climbed atop the toilet’s porcelain tank cover. She felt somewhat embarrassed; spying from the lavatory’s raised window, but it was the only place in the entire house that was both lockable and unoccupied where she could safely wait and watch for Bonnie to be gone.
As Herb and the others were busy loading luggage, Mr. MacKinnon, along with the other guests, began to emerge from the house still clothed for the wrong millennium. One by one, Avi searched their faces and felt their melancholy expressions rub off on her. She had been so impatient for her new life to begin that she’d forgotten the parts they’d played in bringing it about. At that moment, she hated her hiding place. She wanted to be out there reminiscing with them about Ethel, the venison, and Thomas and Jack’s newfound love of reading. She wanted to thank them, hug them, and be able to say her goodbyes. Avi owed each of them - even Bonnie - more than any of them would ever know, and the only reason they’d never know was because she was too busy being the cowardly queen of her porcelain throne.
“Hey guys, can we get one big group photo?” Kelly asked, fighting the urge to cry. “Helena, do you mind taking it?”
Helena nodded and took the phone from Kelly as the fourteen-member family squeezed in right outside the bathroom window. Avi was about to duck down and avoid an epic photo-bombing, but a happy memory changed her mind.
“I came into this experience as Hawthorne Hall’s ‘ghost in the window.’ What better way to leave it?”
Avi smiled from her perch, pretty pleased with herself, as Helena shot a few photos. Afterward, the goodbyes began. The occasional tear was shed in the vast sea of hugs. Promises to stay in touch were exchanged along with phone numbers and words too scrambled for Avi to make out. Suddenly, Herb calmed the sea from the carriage door of Bonnie’s awaiting stagecoach.
“Her Excellency, Bonnie Aitken, Queen of Scots!”
It was the moment Avi had been waiting for. She looked on as Bonnie looked over the group for the last time. But just as Bonnie’s eyes aligned with Mr. MacKinnon’s, Avi watched as something dreadfully unexpected unfolded. Bonnie lunged at Mr. MacKinnon. At first, Avi thought Bonnie was exacting her revenge through vicarious means, but then she saw her arms wrap around his shoulders. He hugged her back.
“That’s…fine. After all, they’ve all been hugging. She and he have a history, and if this is the last time they’re going to see each other, such expression is not only warranted but to be exp…”
But when it appeared as though Bonnie pressed her lips against his, Avi collapsed…literally. Laying on the bathroom floor, Avi grimaced. Her elbow surged with electric current, her forearm throbbed in waves of excruciation, and her hip and ankle ached something unimaginable. Falling from that height proved incredibly painful. However, she wasn’t crying because of the physical agony.
“What just…how could…”
The sudden stupor of thought made her wonder if she’d landed on her head. She hadn’t. She just couldn’t believe what she saw.
“What happened between them last night?”
Avi’s imaginative and vivid storyline of what led to Bonnie and Mr. MacKinnon’s kiss made her feel even more nauseous than the kiss itself. There on the bathroom tile, Avi, like Dr. Strange, replayed an infinite number of alternative scenarios in her head. She finally determined the only one that culminated in them locking lips was the one Avi had let unfold some twelve hours earlier.
“Why didn’t I just stop him from going after her? Why didn’t I just pull him in for a second kiss? Oh! That’s right! Because he”s clearly nothing more than the foulest of pigs.”
Avi almost summoned the courage to dust herself off, climb back on top of the toilet tank cover, and give him a chance to prove her wrong. Perhaps as she lay there brokenhearted and weeping, he was pushing his ex away and accusing her of sexual assault for forcing her unwanted advances upon his innocent mouth. Unfortunately, the fear of seeing their kiss continue or watching him climb into the carriage with her, caused Avi to gingerly pull herself up, unlock and open the bathroom door, and escape to her room to pack her things. Had she had the fortitude to confront him, he would have told her that her eyes and angle had deceived her. She would have discovered that Bonnie’s seemingly steamy kiss was nothing more than a grateful peck of closure on the cheek. Even if she’d stayed a second longer to listen, she would have felt the healing balm of sweet relief.
“Whit wis that fur?” he asked.
“Ah dinnae know…juist…thank ye.”
“Fur whit?”
“Fur knowin’ we juist weren’t right fur one another…fur callin’ it off ‘n’ moving on. Ye were right to.”
“Bonnie…ah…”
“Na…really! Tis okay…great actually,” she said as she turned to look at Mick who was talking to Thomas and Jack. “We stayed up all night talking.”
He had noticed the dark circles under her tired eyes, but he didn’t want to say anything; especially since he didn’t get an opportunity to talk to her the night before. By the time he’d caught up to her, Min and Jennifer had formed a protective, two-woman front that not even a balrog could pass.
“Ye ‘n’ Mick?” Dane asked, pleasantly surprised.
“Aye. He’s a good man…a little corny, bit…”
“Well, ye could use a little corny.”
“Mibbie,” she said with a smile. “He…he invited me tae go with him back tae the states…not forever…juist tae spend a little more time with him…ye know…see if something’s there.”
“Ye should.”
“Ah think ah am…ah’ve always wanted tae see the Hollywood sign.”
“Ah know,” he said as he nodded. “Ah’m happy fur ye, Bonnie. Ah really am.”
“Thank ye,” she said before looking around as if she remembered she’d lost something. “Have ye seen Avi anywhere?”
“Na. Ah checked her room this morning, bit she wasn’t there.”
“She’s probably hidin’ from me.”
“Aye,” he said with a laugh, “she probably is.”
“Well, when ye see her…kin ye juist tell her ah’m sorry fur reactin’ like that? Ah’m so embarrassed.”
“Ah will, bit dinnae worry aboot it. Ah’m sure she’s fine,” he said as he suddenly remembered that he couldn’t wait to see her.
With that, Bonnie nodded, gave him one more hug, and led Mick by the hand to their carriage. They each waved and blew kisses to the group, gave Hawthorne Hall one last look-over, and disappeared together inside the coach. Mr. MacKinnon felt truly happy for Bonnie and relief on behalf of himself and Avi. The lack of closure that had kept them hiding their affections for the better part of nine days was suddenly no longer lacking, and he knew hearing about it would relieve Avi of the load she”d been carrying.
“Where are you going?” Gracie asked as she passed Avi who had forgotten her suitcase had wheels.
“Home.”
As Avi stormed down the hallway, her sister shadowed her.
“Why? What happened? Why are you crying? You’re not running again, are you? Your text this morning made it sound like everything was fine.”
“Well, it’s not, and I knew it wouldn’t be. I was a fool to hold on to hope.”
“Aviva, slow down and just talk.”
“I’m done talking. I’m done with Hawthorne Hall…with England…with him. I’m just done. Where are the keys?”
“You can’t just go to the airport on a whim…you don’t even have a ticket.”
Avi held up the boarding pass she’d just printed off.
“How’d you get that so fast?”
“It’s Tuesday, mid-morning, and I currently have lots of money, remember? Keys…”
“Avi…”
“Where are the keys?!” she demanded.
Gracie sighed with sadness. She slowly dug through her dress pocket and handed Avi the key to the rental truck.
“Avi, please…don’t leave like this. You’re going to regret it.”
“Probably. But I can think of worse things in life than regret…and they’re all embodied in him…right here and now. I’m leaving, Gracie.”
With nothing more for either of them to say, Avi continued en route to the truck as Gracie half-heartedly went back to overseeing the final clean. Avi left through one of the back doors to avoid an awkward interaction with Mr. MacKinnon, but she knew there was only one road off the grounds, and it passed by the guests and carriages.
When he first saw Avi driving the silver Ford Ranger with her eyes firmly fixed on the gravel road in front of her, he didn’t think much of it. He had no reason to. Why would he assume she was leaving for good? She hadn’t told him about her looming legal and financial battles nor had he anticipated her watching as Bonnie uninvitedly hugged him and kissed his cheek.
As he watched her begin her ascent over the hilly road, he thought nothing more than, “She’s sae pretty.”
However, with each name Herb called, and with every carriage that pulled away, he became increasingly worried.
“She doesn’t even have mah number…ah dinnae have hers. If she’s not back in time…dae ah juist wait whin Herb calls mah name? Why would she pick now tae leave and run errands or do whatever ‘tis she’s doing?”
Something was wrong. He could feel it.
When Gluestick was given the signal from the coachman, she gave Kelly’s carriage a single, horse-powered heave. It generated enough momentum to get the wheels rolling, and before Dane knew it, he found himself the lone guest left sharing awkward silence with only Herb, his carriage driver, and Big Winnie. That is until Herb broke the silence.
“The Right Honourable Lord Dane MacKinnon, Baron of Berwickshire!”
Berwickshire didn’t even feel like home anymore. That’s not to say Hawthorne Hall did either, but to one degree or another, she certainly did. The closer he got to the carriages, the more lethargic his pace became until Herb wondered if Dane was even moving at all. All the while, Dane hadn’t taken his eyes off the horizon between the hilly road and the sky. He just watched and waited and slowed.
“Sir, is everything alright?” Herb asked.
Ignoring the question, Dane asked, “Did Gracie give ye any special instructions aboot this carriage?”
“Special instructions, sir?”
“Ye know…like…‘take th’ last carriage down tae th’ stables,’ or, ‘return his luggage tae his room?’ Anything like that?”
Dane could easily imagine a scenario where Avi told Gracie to give Herb such instructions in an attempt at a last-second romantic gesture, but something told him it was merely wishful thinking.
Herb thought for a moment then said, “No sir. Just to hurry back and help with the cleaning.”
“Oh.”
Dane gave the hill one last hopeless glance, and when neither the truck nor Avi was anywhere in sight, he started climbing the stairs into the carriage. On the lowest step, he stopped and looked at Big Winnie, remembering their water-soaked ride and near kiss. Just as he did, the mare turned her head to look at her former rider and neighed.
“Nae?” he thought aloud. “Nae!”
Thinking Dane was talking to him, and concerned Dane was losing his mind, Herb said, “Yes, sir…that’s what horses say…”
But Dane, projecting himself onto the horse, knew exactly what his four-legged friend was trying to tell him: “Nay…no!”
Without warning, Dane jumped down from the stagecoach steps and sprinted with all the speed his legs could summon. He burst through the front doors calling for anyone who knew anything. He jogged through the halls looking in every room until Gracie came down from upstairs.
“Yes, Mr. MacKinnon? What is it?”
“Avi…where is she?”
“I’d say about halfway to the airport by now.”
“Whit?” he said with confused anxiety. “Did she say why?”
“I figured you’d know more of that answer than I would. I thought you’d called things off with her or something. She left in tears nearly a half hour ago.”
“Whit?!”
“You keep saying that, but I promise I know just as little if not less than you.”
“Her number!” He accidentally shouted. “Dae ye have her number?”
“Of course. Why? Don’t you?”
“Na, we turned in our phones, remember?”
“Here. Take it,” said Gracie as she handed him the phone. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who fell for someone before he even got her number.”
“Aye, ‘tis strange, bit it is whit it is.”
He didn’t even realize he’d admitted he was in love with her and had he caught a glimpse of Gracie’s grin, it still wouldn’t have registered. He was a man on a mission and consumed with completing it. It didn’t take long to find Aviva in Gracie’s contacts, but when Avi”s uncharged phone immediately sent his call to voicemail, he panicked and started pacing.
“Och! Whit are ye doin’, Avi Hawthorne?”
“She’s running.”
“Well…if she’s running, ah’m chasing,” he said as he left the room with Gracie”s phone.
“Where are you going? There’s no way you’ll catch up to her now.”
“Ah know…” he said.