Chapter 10 Carwynn
CARWYNN
People who’ve had near-death experiences often talk about seeing a bright light, or an illuminated tunnel once they’ve passed over. It must have been true. Because I saw it too.
An immense light flashed with the radiance of a thousand suns, turning the dark forest into daylight. Within the beams, I saw them. Enormous white wings, stretching outward.
An angel come to collect me.
“Fuck!” the angel swore. “Help her!” he commanded, voice laced with sheer terror.
Wait—were angels allowed to curse like that? I thought they were supposed to be . . .
Chaos erupted.
Fluttering. Cursing. Roaring. Metal squelching through flesh. A man’s roar. The hiss of something monstrous. And another blinding flash.
Something small whimpered right next to my ear, followed by warm, tiny fingers tracing my shoulder and lower neck.
Then, a second pair of hands gripped my ankle.
My lungs seized, then inhaled deeply. Vision cleared, pain faded.
Dead? No—not dead. How was I not?
A large figure towered over me, wings spread wide. His face was furious. Robin’s-egg-blue eyes burned with an intensity.
Wait—I know those eyes . . .
It was like being plunged into Arctic water, consciousness walloping me in the face.
“Carwynn.” His voice was low, lethal. “Explain. Yourself. Now!”
David was here. Really here. I lied to him. But still, he came. Ever the lifeline when I was drowning.
But now, all the terror of being at death’s door again surged out of me. The fear, the helplessness, the emotion—it all broke open as I buried my face in my hands, trying to muffle the sob that escaped. Through blurry eyes, I looked up.
His face softened, almost as if in agony. As if my pain was his pain too.
“I’m so sorry, David,” I rasped through tears.
My eyes suddenly locked onto massive snowy wings. They were so bright, so impossible. For a moment, my thoughts went silent. Completely vacant. Vacuumed out by a black hole.
The luminous wings splayed out behind David, casting a celestial glow across the forest floor.
David. It was…David. He never had wings. Never even mentioned them! That’d be something you would tell someone, right? Especially someone who you’d lived with, who you loved, who you trusted.
My eyes fixed on them again, hoping they were playing tricks. But no, they were still there, undeniable and breathtaking. And his eyes, they glowed too.
This wasn’t David just hiding a secret, this was someone I didn’t know at all. He held a large rose-gold sword in his hand, sparking with life. Red-hot electricity danced up the blade.
The look was completely badass. A warrior, a stranger from another world. But why—why hadn’t he told me?
And that power. A force buzzed around him, deep and constant, humming.
This wasn’t the man who raised me, the man I’d come to love like a father. This version of him was completely alien.
“What—what is this, David?” My voice cracked. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I weakly gestured to the wings behind him, unable to convey the weight of my feelings.
Silence. Deafening silence.
Then, a swift look of disappointment. Though, I wasn’t sure if it was directed at me or at himself.
Nausea churned my stomach. The creature’s mangled head laid beside David’s feet. Tar-like blood smeared across the ground, putrid and glistening.
He hadn’t just slayed it. He’d fucking obliterated it. The remains were carved into filets. Clean, meticulous slices scattered the earth like butcher scraps.
I pushed to my knees, starting to rise when—small, strong arms curled under my shoulders, steadying me. Golden hair to my left, red on my right. A third set of arms wrapped around my legs, brown ringlets bobbing into view.
My heart stilled.
Huck, Pudge, and Honey. My favorite Cherubs, my sweet friends. I called, and they came. They were here.
For someone who nearly died, again, my body felt surprisingly okay. No doubt, thanks to the healing hands of my little friends.
A dull ache pulsed across my shoulder. A gentle reminder that even in Ferie, longer life didn’t mean invincibility. I’d pay the price for this tomorrow, when the adrenaline wore off.
I stood, shifting my eyes to meet each of theirs. Huck, Pudge, and Honey clung to me, bringing raw emotion to prickle behind my eyes. I felt nothing but love and deep, unfathomable gratitude.
“Thank you. You came.” Hot tears spilled down my cheeks as I choked on sob. “Thank—”
A warm cheek smushed up against mine, our tears converged as Pudge lovingly brushed a hand down my face.
Honey nuzzled into my side, letting out a soft, audible exhale.
Huck wrapped his arms around my waist, giving my belly a squeeze.
Love blazed into me, rekindling the light in my soul, one that had almost snuffed out.
“Words cannot convey my gratitude as well.” David’s voice was clipped, sharpened at the edges.
“Please take her to the house.” His jaw locked tight, a muscle twitching. “We have matters to discuss.”
A thousand unsaid words flashed over his face. But his eyes, they remained fixed. Reprimanding.
I had lied. He knew it. And his fury was a living creature now.
But he lied too. Again. And that only fed the beast stirring inside me.
I stared back in challenge. Let him feel it. Let him feel me.
Emotion sizzled off me like water to his open flame. I wore my anger like a thick perfume. And I knew he’d have to take a whiff.
David could sense emotions. Being a Heartseer was yet another secret he’d kept from me.
But even as a kid, I’d figured that one out.
Anytime I came home from school upset, grieving the loss of my old life, he’d smother me like a blanket—warm, coddling, coaxing the truth out.
The I’m fine response never fooled him. Sorrow, anger, heartbreak, insecurities . . . he always knew which one I felt.
When I called him out, I accused him of being some meddling witch. Wyatt was in the room and nearly choked on his drink as he shot David an amused look. A look that said, busted! At that point, he was backed in a corner and had to come clean.
No, not a witch, a Heartseer—a rare Loveland empathic ability.
It emerged when he was a child. Eventually, it helped him rise to Commander of the Loveland Army.
There’s no greater advantage over an enemy than sensing their next move.
Not that I’d know a damn thing about military tactics. David refused to teach me any combat.
He said he hid it from me because he was nervous—afraid I’d pull away.
Little did he know, I did just the opposite after that and stayed extra close, especially when I was pissed.
I made damn sure he felt it. I’d project my emotions like a loudspeaker.
An angry, pubescent teen with a megaphone of angst.
Wine seemed to help the headaches I gave him.
“Souls above! Is that a—? Fecking Fates!” A stunned voice carried through the trees. “I thought they were extinct!”
“Carwynn!” Finley’s voice followed, overtaken by panic. Then he saw them too. “I don’t believe it.”
Multiple eyes were pinned on the cuddling Cherubs.
Whatever magical barrier had kept them out, must’ve shattered the moment the creature was killed. The three Luckmen quickly approached.
My heart hammered in my chest, remembering the smell of ash and burnt flesh . . . Pogue.
He’d taken the full force of that blast. An inferno so intense the heat still resided in my bones. There was no way someone could survive that.
Just then, movement drew my gaze. A mass of inky darkness lingered where Pogue had taken the hit. Like mist dissipating, it cleared, revealing a shadowy outline cradling a scorched arm. Moonlit eyes and a painfully striking face. He was alive, albeit injured, but fine otherwise.
An exhale caressed over my lips as I locked eyes with him. There was a flicker of unease in his features as he took me in, as if I had become a different person, unrecognizable.
“You okay?” I asked.
His frown faded. He flashed a cocky grin, a tinge of pain hidden behind it. “I’ve had worse.” His eyes swept over me—inspecting for wounds, then drifted to David.
Pogue stilled.
“Sacred fecking Souls!” Lochlainn’s eyes were wide as they darted from David, then to the Cherubs hugging me.
Without another word, he dropped to his knees and lowered his head.
Finley and Keeffe shared a look, following suit, dipping into a bow.
Pogue’s eyes darted between me and David. Once, then twice. Unreadable. Confusion scribbled on his features, easy to read.
And then, he knelt.
“What the actual hell is going on?” I snapped, looking around at the bizarre wave of reverence.
David’s spine stiffened.
“Enough! On your feet, all of you!” he spat.
Lochlainn glared at me, then leaned in close. “Ya know, it would’ve been real nice if ya told me ya were involved with the Lord of fecking Loveland!”
I blinked.
His tone was accusing. Maybe even jealous. Was he—? Was he insinuating I’d lied to him about being single?
Ew. A repulsed cringe pulled across my face.
“First of all—ew—I’m not involved with David!” I threw up my hands. “He’s my guardian, my adoptive father! And second of all—”
I turned to David, Lochlainn’s words replaying in my head. Scorching heat flooded my face.
“Excuse me? The what of Loveland?” I asked, eyes bulging.
Oh, no, no, no.
How. Could. He.
David’s wings visibly flinched. The crease in his brow smoothed, regret bleeding through.
“I’ll explain,” he said quietly. “But not here.”
In the corner of my eye, I saw Pogue rise. His gaze trailed over the butchered remains of the monster, then halted on the scattered vertebrae—the whip. The one I’d somehow blasted apart.
Vines. A blooming flower. Souls released. It all came back to me.
I had no idea how I’d done it. No idea how I’d conjured that flower . . . ability . . . thing . . .
Thankfully, no one saw that part.
Something to worry about later.
Slowly, Pogue’s eyes drifted back up to mine, hiding something I couldn’t place.
Worry? Fear? Disappointment?
Lochlainn let out a disbelieving laugh, dragging a hand through his auburn beard.
“Well this has been one luck-forsaken night!” He blew out a breath, angling to David.
“I suppose I owe ya my thanks for killing the Dullahan. Luck be damned, I thought the Ancient only lived in children’s fables!
” He side-eyed a meaty piece on the ground.
“Given only someone as powerful as a ruler can kill one—looks like ya saved our arses.” David didn’t even acknowledge that he was speaking.
Lochlainn’s brows pinched together. “Faelad’ll need to know about this.
How one breached our land.” Lochlainn shook his head.
A sudden side-smirk appeared as he turned to me. “I’m glad you’re all right, love. Ya had me going for a moment there! Though”—he pointed, feigning a scold—“ya damn well should’ve told me he was your Da!”
“Enough! She’s not your love and I don’t give a damn about your gratitudes!
” David cut in, fuming, the words sharper than the sword he held.
“The only thing I care about is her.” A finger stabbed toward me.
“The one person you carelessly put in danger tonight—who would have died, if not for our arrival!”
A fire blazed behind his eyes, the kind that leveled cities to the ground.
“Whatever job arrangement you have with these thugs,” David spat, stepping toward me. “And whatever else is going on—ends now!”
The look he shot Lochlainn was that of a gun, taking aim.
“Honey,” he snapped. “Take her to the house.”
How dare he! I was far past being a child. He had no right to command me away. Especially after revealing another one of his lies.
The look on his face had my stomached tightening. I didn’t know what he would say, or do, to them after dragging me away. I knew David, and he wasn’t cruel. But this man in front of me—the Lord of Loveland—I was completely unfamiliar with.
Yes, I made a mistake tonight.
Yes, I put myself in danger.
Yes, I almost died.
But it wasn’t entirely their faults—it was mostly my own recklessness. My stupid, horrible luck that there just so happened to be some psycho monster lurking in the woods.
He came here when I needed him, saved me. And God knows I love him even more for that, but love isn’t a leash. And I refuse to be dragged away like a toddler. Another tactic to avoid having to give me answers, no doubt.
“Wait!” I gently pushed Honey’s hand away. “You don’t get to do this!” My voice broke. “You don’t get to dictate my life.”
I wore my stubbornness like armor.
“That creature—what happened—wasn’t their fault! Don’t take it out on them. They did try to help me!”
Right? I hadn’t imagined their frantic yells, the gunshots, Pogue blasting the beast away . . .
The hurt in my body began to throb. Or maybe it was my heart.
Pain laced with confusion, but it wasn’t only from tonight.
No, it went much deeper. It was the agony of always being blindsided by lies dressed up as protection, the constant limits placed on my life, the warning that people would always want to hurt me while never telling me why, the pain of never fitting in no matter where I was, of never being good enough, of never being trusted to take care of myself.
It was too much. There was no room to breathe, to grow.
It was all . . . too . . . much . . .
Tears welled in my eyes, but not sad tears. This time, these were the worst kind—the kind you didn’t want to cry. The kind that came when your soul was beyond sadness. Born of frustration so deep it crackled under my skin.
A few feet away, Finley looked torn, like he could see the war waging inside me. He cautiously moved closer, raising a hand as if offering safe passage off a rickety rope bridge that was about to collapse.
“No!” David protested, voice cleaving the moment in half. His gaze cut down Finley like an axe, right before he craned his neck toward me.
“Maybe some meant well . . . but look around you. Look at the situation they put you in. The damage done to your body. Damage that could have been avoided if some hadn’t selfishly cowered away in fear!”
The look he gave Pogue was firing.
“Their pockets will always be deeper than any care they claim to have for you. Selfishness and greed will always come first.”
He softened when he looked at me.
“These aren’t friends. They’re opportunists.” Then, he nodded once to Honey.
I opened my mouth, but the words never came.
Opportunists. And I, the opportunity.
Blinding white light rifted us away.