Chapter 5
Anna
“Are you okay?”
I look up from my laptop at Poppy, who’s studying me from across the Writing Center, where we both work as tutors.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
She flashes a small smile. “I’ve been trying to get your attention. You didn’t hear me saying your name?”
“Oh.” I clear my throat, feeling flustered. “Sorry, I was really focused on this email from my MCAT study group.”
Guilt zooms through me. I hate lying to my best friend, but I can’t tell her the truth about what’s going on with me…that I’m totally off-kilter from accidentally making out with Travis.
“You seem a little distracted. You sure everything’s okay?” she asks.
I nod, even though everything is not even close to okay.
“I’m just a little sleep deprived from all the studying I’ve been doing.”
That’s a half-lie. I’ve been studying a lot for the MCAT lately, which has been costing me sleep, but the other reason I’ve been losing sleep is because I can’t stop thinking about Travis. Even though I shouldn’t be. Even though we agree to forget about it.
I look at my best friend and hope the heat coursing through my body isn’t igniting my cheeks, giving me away.
She gives me a sympathetic smile. “I knew it. You’re working yourself to the bone, like always.”
I try to smile and shrug. “I need a high score if I have any hope of getting into med school at Stanford.”
“You will.”
Warmth courses through me at the faith my best friend has in me.
Two students walk into the Writing Center for a scheduled appointment with Poppy and me. We take our respective meetings, and a half-hour later, we’re done with our shifts.
“So have you heard from Kyle?” Poppy asks as we pack up to leave.
I shake my head, feeling guilty once more for the lie I told my best friend.
I was so thrown off Saturday night that I left Travis’s house without saying goodbye to Poppy.
I texted her that I wasn’t feeling well and went straight to bed…
then I tossed and turned the whole night because I was so worked up and turned on.
“Has he tried to text you at all?”
“Um, not really.” I fiddle with the zipper on my backpack.
He texted me later that night asking where I was. I fed him that same lie about feeling sick, then promised to text him later. I never did, though. It didn’t feel right to try to start something with him when I’m distracted by what went down with Travis.
“It’s so weird that you got sick when you tried to find Kyle,” Poppy says as we walk out of the Writing Center together, then down the stairs.
“Yeah. I think it was nerves.” The heat of shame for lying to my best friend cooks me from the inside out. But I can’t talk about what I did with Travis. We swore we’d never tell a soul what we did. I just need to move on and forget about it.
She pats my hand and gives me a sweet smile. “It’s okay. His loss.”
“You’re sweet, Poppy,” I say as we walk out of the building.
“I’m starving. Let’s grab some food.”
I’ve been so worked up about Travis the past few days in between long study sessions that I haven’t been eating much.
As if on cue, my stomach growls.
Poppy chuckles. “Perfect timing.”
We head to the Mile High Diner on the edge of campus, a popular spot for Hollis U students.
When we walk in, it’s crowded. All the tables are full. But then a couple of students leave from a small table in the back, so we rush over and sit down. Poppy orders a club sandwich while I order a small stack of pancakes with berries. We both get milkshakes, too.
I’m done with my milkshake when our food arrives. I’m halfway through my pancakes when I hear my brother’s voice.
“Hey, you two.”
I look up and see Nick standing at our booth. A second later, Travis walks up behind him.
I cough on the bite of pancake. I cover my mouth with a napkin while I try not to choke.
Nick pats my back. “You okay?”
I nod through my coughing fit. Poppy hands me a glass of water, and I take a long sip.
I wipe my mouth, watching as Nick sits next to Poppy in our booth.
“That was close. I got kinda nervous there for a sec. You’re the only one here who knows how to do the Heimlich Manuever,” my brother jokes.
Poppy chuckles as he wraps his arm around her.
“I know how to do the Heimlich,” Travis says, his tone unamused.
“Oh yeah? Cool,” Nick says, grinning.
I stare up at Travis, feeling hot all of a sudden.
I’ve always been aware of how handsome Travis is.
He’s tall—right around six-foot-three—and he’s jacked because of all the years he’s spent playing hockey.
And he’s got all the features that would classify him as ruggedly handsome: square jaw with thick stubble, straight nose, veiny forearms, perfectly messy hair.
I’ve heard plenty of girls and women gush about how hot he is. I always rolled my eyes.
But ever since we accidentally hooked up, I can’t stop thinking about how good he looks.
His handsomeness is all I can see now. The harsh features of his face. How big and broad he is.
His hair is damp, like he just got out of the shower.
He tugs at the hem of the Hollis U men’s hockey T-shirt he’s wearing.
The movement triggers the memory of me sliding my hand up his shirt the other night, how hard his body felt…
how hot his skin was…how I could feel the definition of his chest and abs…
“You gonna scoot over?” he asks, a hint of impatience in his tone.
I grit my teeth and slide down, making room for him, annoyed that he seems completely unfazed by the other night and is acting totally normal, unlike me.
“What are you two doing here? I thought you had practice,” Poppy says.
“Coach rescheduled it to tomorrow afternoon,” Nick says. He kisses her temple. “We thought we’d grab a bite to eat instead.”
“How perfect,” Poppy says with a sweet smile. She offers Nick the other half of her club sandwich, which he devours in three bites.
The server stops by, and he and Travis order more food.
I stare down at my plate of half-eaten pancakes, no longer hungry, my stomach flipping around now that I’m sitting this close to Travis. His arm is inches from my arm. I can feel the heat from his body skimming mine.
It’s the same heat I felt radiating from him when he grabbed me by the waist, pulled me against him, and hauled me up in his arms…
I breathe in to steady myself, but that backfires because I get a lungful of his intoxicating spicy scent. It smells like rain and pepper and wood. It must be his cologne or body wash. Whatever it is, it smells so fucking good.
“Not hungry?” Nick looks down at my plate of half-eaten pancakes.
I shake my head, willing the images of that night out of my head. “No, you want it?”
I move to slide the plate to him at the same time that Travis bumps my hand while reaching for the napkin dispenser.
I twist my head to glare at him. His expression is neutral. A mask. He’s definitely not thinking about that night. Which means I should stop thinking about it, too.
I wish I could. But being in his presence, feeling his body heat, smelling his scent, is making me lose my mind.
I look away and stare at my brother as he wolfs down my leftovers, trying not to think about the fact that my senses are on high alert with Travis this close to me.
Nick sips Poppy’s milkshake. He looks between Travis and me.
“You two are quiet,” he says.
The muscles in my shoulders tense. Shit. He’s right. We’re acting really weird.
I rack my brain for something to say that won’t let on that something is up between Travis and me, but Nick just chuckles.
“I’m so used to you arguing the second you see each other. The silence is a nice change,” he jokes. Poppy laughs too.
I lean back against the booth and cross my arms over my chest.
“It’s been a long week. I don’t have the energy for my normal insults,” I say.
Travis shakes his head and grumbles something under his breath.
A minute later, their food arrives. I’m grateful that my brother is busy stuffing his face instead of asking Travis and me questions.
I grab my phone and browse randomly, just to look busy so it’s less obvious how awkward I feel.
“Oh, hey, I forgot to tell you guys, I’m pretty sure a couple of people had sex in our garage the night of Travis’s birthday party.”
I look up from my phone. “What?” I say sharply.
My brother flashes a dopey grin. “Yeah, I was using the bathroom down the hall, and when I walked out, it sounded like a couple of people were going at it in the garage. They left the door open.”
I command every muscle in my face to hold steady, so I don’t give away the utter shock and dread firing off inside of me at the thought of my twin brother overhearing my hookup with his best friend.
I sip from my water glass. “Well, that’s gross,” I say dismissively, hoping I sound disinterested despite the internal freakout I’m currently having.
“Did you see who it was?” Poppy asks.
I hold my breath, my nerves firing off like cannonballs.
Nick shakes his head. “Nah, I didn’t bother to look. I’m not that big of a perv.”
He leans back in the booth and rests his hands behind his head, smirking. Poppy playfully elbows his stomach, but he just laughs. He looks at Travis. “I was hoping it was you, Travvie, getting lucky on your birthday.”
My face feels like it’s on fire as I look over at Travis for his reaction.
But he just rolls his eyes, like he always does whenever my brother makes some smartass comment.
“Nope,” he says, his tone unbothered.
“Too bad. Maybe next birthday,” Nick says.
Travis shakes his head, his natural perma-scowl in place like usual. I down more water.
“Whoever it was, they sounded like they were having a good time,” Nick says, digging back into his corned beef hash.
Heat seeps down my neck and chest at how close we were to getting caught. By my twin brother of all people.
That uneasy feeling inside of me amplifies. I bounce my leg up and down frantically, unable to sit still. Travis and I were this close to getting caught by my brother, who would have undoubtedly lost his shit if he saw his best friend and twin sister getting hot and heavy…
And now, we’re sitting next to each other, doing a shitty job of pretending that nothing happened between us, and the only reason we’re getting away with it is because my brother is too occupied with his girlfriend and his food…
but all it would take is one good look at how awkward Travis and I are with each other now, and that’s it. Everyone would know about us…
“I feel sick,” I blurt out. I move to scoot out of the booth, but Travis is just staring at me, his brow furrowed in confusion.
“Can you move?” I snap at him.
He slides out of the booth, and I fall out after him, scurrying to the back of the diner where the restrooms are.
My head is spinning, and my skin is hot. I need air. Now.
I walk past the ladies’ room to the back door and push it open, stumbling into the alley. I fall against the wall, gasping for breath.