Chapter 10
Travis
Coach Sawyer blows the whistle during the last twenty minutes of practice.
“Line up,” he hollers.
My teammates follow his orders and get in front of the net. I move into position, laser focused on the puck as one of them skates toward me and takes a shot.
I block it with my stick, then tense up, ready for the next shot. I catch it with my glove.
I manage to block all but two shots. Coach tells them to line up again and do another round of shots. This time, I block all but one.
He blows the whistle again, signaling for all of us to gather around him.
“That was a strong showing today. Good effort,” he says. “We’re this close to the finals. If you keep playing at the level you’ve been playing this whole season, I know we’ll be one of the teams left standing. Hopefully, the very last team standing.”
He dismisses us.
“Nice work today,” Coach says to me as I head off the ice with my teammates.
I push up my helmet and stop in front of him. “Thanks.”
“I like what I’m seeing from you so far this season. So do the scouts.”
A flicker of nerves ignites inside of me.
I know there are pro scouts at almost all of our games, but I do my best not to think about it.
If I do, I get nervous and almost always screw something up.
So I just try to focus on the game and block out everything else.
Especially since we’re so close to the playoffs.
I need to be playing at my very best to help my team get to the championship finals.
“There are a lot of teams interested in you,” Coach Sawyer says.
The nerves inside of me morph into a hopeful feeling. “Really?”
“Yeah. I have a feeling that if you keep playing the way you are, you’re gonna end up as a first-round draft pick.”
It’s my dream to play pro hockey. I’ve wanted to ever since I started playing goalie as a kid.
But I know how hard it is to get drafted. You can’t just be great. You have to be phenomenal. And I’m not there yet.
“You’re not the kind of player who likes being fussed over with praise. I like that about you,” Coach says. “But you deserve to know that you’re playing well. Keep it up. As long as you avoid choking while you’re in the net, like you did freshman year, you’re sitting in a good spot.”
A memory from freshman year pops into my head at what he’s said. We’re in the middle of the playoffs. I’m in the net, letting every goal in. My body won’t listen to my brain. I’m moving too slowly. Everything’s wrong. I can’t focus. I’m totally blowing it.
I get pulled in the middle of the first period. We lose the game. We lose the playoffs.
It’s all my fault. Because I couldn’t get my head on straight.
And the worst part? I didn’t even care.
I shove the memory to the back of my mind and will myself not to think about it as I head off the ice and into the locker room.
I strip my gear off and get cleaned up, feeling tense and on edge.
“Did you get an ass chewing from coach?” Nick asks.
“No,” I mutter.
“Then why are you throwing your shit on the ground like you’re pissed?” he asks.
I huff out a breath, feeling embarrassed. “I didn’t realize I was doing that.”
He sits down on the bench in front of his locker, which is next to mine. “You okay?”
I swallow hard and shake my head. “Yeah, just…everything with Coach was good. He was actually complimenting me, but he said something, and it reminded me of the worst game I ever played our freshman year.”
Understanding flashes in Nick’s eyes. “Oh.”
“I started thinking about my mom…”
I trail off, but he knows exactly what I’m talking about. He was my teammate. He knew what was going on in my life that caused me to almost fuck everything up.
I drop down on the bench and tug a hand through my hair. I don’t say more. I don’t have to. Nick knows just how destroyed I was…how I was hanging by a thread and almost lost everything that mattered to me.
He pats my shoulder. “I’m sorry, man.”
For a while, he sits there next to me, saying nothing. The tension inside of me fades, and I nod at him, appreciating his quiet support in this moment.
I grab a towel and head to the showers to wash up. When I walk out, the locker room is empty. But Nick is there, dressed in his street clothes, sitting on the bench, waiting for me.
“You hungry?” he asks as I get dressed.
“Not really.”
“I’m starving. I’m gonna get lunch before heading back to the house to do some homework. You going home?”
“Yeah.”
He zips up his bag. “Thank fuck Anna gave me her old notes and study guides. I’d be failing that class otherwise,” he chuckles.
I tense at the mention of her. I think about when I saw her at the fitness center the other day. How upset she was when she ran into that guy. How she was crying. How hurt she sounded. How she accused me of not caring about her when I went to check on her.
An ugly feeling rips through my gut. I wish she had told me what was wrong. I wish she didn’t doubt me.
“Hey, where did you go, by the way?” Nick asks.
“Huh?”
He leans down to tie his shoes. “At the fitness center. You and Anna both walked off when I was in the middle of my last set of squats.”
Sweat breaks out on the back of my neck. Shit. I didn’t even know he noticed that.
“I don’t know where she went. I had to take a piss.”
He leans up and looks at me, his expression curious. “Kind of weird that you two disappeared at the same time. Like how you disappeared at the diner the last time we were all there.”
Panic swoops through me. Fuck. Does he suspect something happened between Anna and me?
I keep my expression neutral, then look away as I finish getting dressed.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I mutter, trying to sound unbothered.
“I just think it’s weird that you two were gone at the diner at the same time, and then gone at the fitness center at the same time.”
When I glance up at him, I can’t read his expression. Which is pretty unusual because Nick is always smiling or joking around, so he’s pretty easy to read.
Nerves fire off inside of me. I straighten up and look at him. “Well, I think it’s pretty weird that you’re so interested in what we were doing. I told you I was taking a piss, just like how I left to take a piss at the diner.”
I grab my backpack and yank on the zipper so hard that it almost rips off.
“I have no idea what your sister was doing,” I snap. “If you’re so curious, why don’t you ask her yourself?”
He holds up a hand. “Jesus. Okay. You don’t need to get mad.”
I huff out a breath, feeling guilty. Nick stayed to check on me when he saw I was upset, and now I’m lashing out at him.
I tug a hand through my damp hair. “I’m sorry. I’m just kind of on edge.”
“Still thinking about your mom?”
I nod, feeling even more guilty for lying to him. But I can’t tell him the truth. I can’t tell him that I hooked up with his sister, and now I can’t get her out of my mind.
He pats my shoulder. “It’s okay. I get it.”
“I should eat something. Can I go to the diner with you?”
Nick grins. “Yeah.”
We head out of the locker room. “I’ll pay,” I say, feeling bad for being such a dick.
He pats my shoulder again and chuckles. “Sounds good to me, Travvie.”
While walking to the diner, Nick’s phone buzzes with a text. He winces as he looks at the screen.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“Yeah. Anna just told me she’s gonna miss dinner with our parents tonight. She’s not feeling well.”
Worry swoops through me. Is she still upset at what happened yesterday? And if she is, is it because of running into that guy? Or is it because she’s upset with me?
That unsettled feeling from earlier drags through my stomach once more.
I want to ask Nick what’s wrong. I want him to tell me more, but I can’t. That would be a dead giveaway that something’s going on between Anna and me, and I can’t deal with the fallout of him finding out about us.
So I just shrug and say, “That’s too bad.” Then I change the subject and start talking about our upcoming game on Friday.
But the whole time, Anna is at the back of my mind.