Chapter 50
Travis
“I’m not gonna lie. It’s weird to think about you and my sister together,” Nick says before taking a sip of the beer in his hand.
We’re sitting on the porch steps a few feet apart, gazing at the quiet street in front of us.
I take a drink of my beer. “I understand. I don’t blame you for being upset. Honestly, if I had a sister, I wouldn’t be thrilled to find out she was dating you either. No offense.”
He takes another swig. “None taken.”
We’re quiet for a minute. Nick stares down at his can for a long moment before looking back over at me.
“I’m sorry for the things I said to you when I walked in on you and Anna. That was out of line. I didn’t mean any of it. I swear.”
I take in the pained look in his eyes. Emotion hits me square in the chest.
“It’s okay,” I say.
He shakes his head. “It’s not.”
“Dude. It’s okay. You were upset. We caught you off guard. And I can tell how sorry you are. We’re good.”
He’s quiet for a while. “You let me off the hook too easily. I don’t deserve it.”
I look at him. “Yeah. You do.”
He starts to speak, but I stop. “You do, Nick. You know why?”
“Why?”
“Because this one instance doesn’t erase what a good friend you’ve been to me.
And teammate. You kept my mom’s cancer a secret when I asked you to.
You didn’t even tell your parents. You stood up for me when our coach in high school chewed me out for taking time off to help my mom when she was sick. Even now, you check on her. And me.”
He’s quiet again. He looks surprised that I remember all these things he’s done.
Of course I remember. I’ll remember forever.
“Yeah, it sucked how you got upset about Anna and me,” I say. “But you’re a fucking awesome friend. And that’s why it’s all okay.”
He blinks quickly before looking down at his beer again. He clears his throat. “When you put it that way, I sound like a hero.”
I chuckle at his deadpan delivery.
“I’m not mad at you for this. Quit beating yourself up.”
He pats my shoulder. “Thanks, man.”
He leans his elbows back on the porch step behind him. “So when did things start up between you two?”
I take a long sip of my beer. “You don’t wanna know.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Remember during my birthday party when you overheard that…hookup in the garage?”
He frowns like he’s confused. A second later, he grimaces. “That was the two of you?”
I nod. “She thought I was someone else, I thought she was someone else, and it was dark—”
He holds up a hand, cutting me off. “You’re right, I don’t wanna know.” He exhales sharply. “So that’s why you two acted so weird around each other for a while.”
I let another quiet moment stretch between us.
“It’s different with her.”
He studies me. “Really?”
“Yeah. Once we got past all the petty shit from when we were younger, we got to know each other for real,” I say. “She’s amazing.”
I don’t go into detail. He’s made it clear he doesn’t want that.
But in my head, I think about all the reasons why I’m crazy about her. She makes me feel safe. When I’m around her, I feel calm and happy in a way I never have before.
I can tell her anything, and she’ll listen and never, ever judge me.
The way she defends me. The way she can make all my stress and worry disappear the second she kisses me.
I don’t feel lonely and isolated anymore, like I have to fight all my battles on my own.
Because I have her. The most incredible girlfriend who stands by my side, no matter what.
“Oh, shit,” Nick says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
I look up at him. “What?”
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
I still, unsure of what to say. I haven’t even told Anna that I love her yet. It feels weird to say it to her brother before I get to say it to her.
But he’s right. And I want to be honest with him about her.
“Yeah. I’m in love with her.” I clear my throat. “I haven’t told her yet.”
He starts to smile and shakes his head. “This is a big fucking deal, man.”
I tug a hand through my hair. “Yeah.”
He looks at me again. “This is the real thing, huh? You and my sister.”
“It is.”
He nods and glances off to the side.
It’s not often that we talk like this with each other—about our feelings. Only when it’s serious. Like when my mom was going through her cancer treatment and my dad left us, and I felt broken and alone. He was there for me.
When he got suspended from the Hollis U hockey team for running into the stands in the middle of a game to punch out Poppy’s ex after he assaulted her, I stood by him. I threatened to leave the team if our coach didn’t lift the suspension.
Yeah, we spend a lot of time joking around, talking about hockey and school and college life. But when shit hits the fan, we know how to be there for each other. And that’s what matters.
He turns to me. “I’m happy you and my sister are together.”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to lie.”
“I’m not. I’m telling the truth. Because now I know how you really feel about her. I can tell it’s real for you. I can tell it’s real for her too.”
Hope sprouts up in my chest. I wonder if she loves me too. Probably not. We’ve only been seeing each other for a few months.
That’s okay though. All that matters is that I have her—that I can love her. That’s enough for me.
Nick looks at me. “Take care of her, okay?”
“I will. Promise I will.”
He nods once. We spend the next few minutes quietly finishing our drinks.
“You should tell her how you feel,” Nick says after a while. He turns to me. “Tell her that you love her.”
I shake my head. “It’s too soon. It’s only been a few months. I’ll freak her out.”
“Or she could feel the same way.”
He pats my shoulder and stands up. “I’m gonna go to Poppy’s tonight, so you two can have the place to yourselves.”
He heads down to the driveway and hops in his car. When he drives off, I walk back into the house.
When I look up, I see Anna standing on the landing of the stairs.
Her eyes are big as she looks at me.
“Are you okay?” I ask as I walk over to her.
“You love me?”
I stop in my tracks. Shit. How did she figure that out?
My nerves kick up inside of me as I take in the freaked-out look on her face.
“How did you—”
“I overheard you and Nick talking,” she says. “You left your bedroom window open, and it’s right above the porch. I heard you tell him that you’re in love with me.” She bites her lip. “Is it true? Are you really in love with me?”
I hesitate. This isn’t the way I wanted to tell her. She’s reacting exactly how I thought she would. Stunned and freaked out because it’s way, way too soon to tell her that I love her…
My stomach sinks, but I nod anyway. Because I can’t look her in the eye and lie to her.
I can’t deny my feelings for her. Not anymore.
“I’m in love with you, Anna.” I swallow hard, my heart pounding as I watch her. The shocked look on her face doesn’t budge. “I don’t expect you to say it back, and I’m sorry that this is the way you found out—”
Before I can say another word, she runs over to me, grabs my face, and kisses me.
“I love you too.”