CHAPTER 19
Evander
I gaze down at Phoebe’s upturned face in the firelight. She looks equal parts terrified and awestruck. Intimidated, even. While that’s understandable, it’s not optimal.
Of course it’s unnerving for her to be trapped in this killer blizzard with me. Phoebe is untouched, innocent. And she’s no doubt aware of my reputation, as overblown as it might be. So a lot of reassuring will have to happen.
I need her to believe in her abilities. Phoebe has to remain confident that she can survive.
Because this storm is a motherfucker. Whiteout conditions persist, along with brutal winds. There’s well over three feet of heavy, wet snow on the ground, with snowdrifts over my head.
It’s so cold out there that my top-of-the-line tactical watch—with all its gauges and gadgets—has stopped working, turning it into a useless chunk of minerals, glass, and plastic. I took it off my wrist.
When I was up on the roof, removing snow while anchored by a makeshift tether, I got a full appreciation for this storm system. It’s a vicious, wild predator that will take advantage of the slightest hesitation, the first weakness it sees.
Human or structural.
It tried its best to take me out while I was on the roof. And I’m not convinced that this rattrap of a cabin will hold under its ongoing assault.
I need to work on a contingency plan.
I offer Phoebe a smile that I hope comes off as reassuring.
Badass—that’s what I just called her. And I meant it. Her resilience has surprised me.
I know this is good ole Phoebe Travis—the cheerful, sweet, good-girl-next-door, the girl I’ve known all my life. But in many ways, it feels like I’m meeting her for the first time.
This is brave Phoebe, the woman who fought to stay alive when many others would have succumbed to the icy water.
This is assertive Phoebe, the woman who didn’t want to die without having kissed me, at least once. So she used all her strength to make it happen, and for that, she deserves credit.
I appreciate a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to take it.
It wasn’t a proper kiss, of course, not by a long shot. But I think it comforted her. Looking at her now, I wonder if she even remembers she kissed me.
And whether one kiss will be enough for her.
Or for me.
I clear my throat. “Mind if I join you?”
“Sure.” She pulls her knees tighter to her chest and covers her head and shoulders with the blankets. She peers at me with big, owlish eyes as I sit down. The old couch creaks under my weight.
“How are you feeling?”
She shrugs. “I’m okay. I’ve got a wicked headache and I’m sore all over, but other than that, I think I’m fine. No frostbite, I don’t think. Whatever you did, you did it exactly right.”
“I almost lost you.”
Her nod is nearly imperceptible. She bites her bottom lip. “I got lost in the snow and fell through the ice. But the part I don’t get is—”
“How the hell I found you.”
She tilts her head to the side and frowns. “Yeah. I don’t understand how you heard me screaming for help and why you were close enough to rescue me. Because I don’t know where I was, exactly, but it was the middle of nowhere.”
“Fortunately, we both were in the middle of nowhere.”
“And then how you managed to get me out of the water and find this place before I froze to death.”
I chuckle. “I promise I’ll tell you the whole story, but first things first. You need warm fluids. May I interest you in a delicious electrolyte imitation chocolate drink?”
She laughs. It’s weak, but it’s good to see. It’s good to hear. I think this is the first moment I allow myself to believe she’ll get past this unscathed.
“Where did you find that?” she asks.
“Part of the whole story I mentioned—hold that thought.”
I grab the old pan from the cupboard, a chipped ceramic mug, a spoon, and an envelope of the chocolate shit I know all too well. It’s disgusting, but it will do the trick.
I feel her watching me as I rinse the pan and cup, boil the snow I collected for drinking water, and stir in the powder. I walk back to the couch and sit, its construction groaning under me again. “Here you go.”
“Thank you, Evander.” When she accepts the cup, her fingers brush against mine. A static charge jolts through my whole body, one that isn’t caused by the cold, dry air.
Phoebe herself is the source.
I watch with a sense of relief as she brings the hot drink to her lips and sips. Dehydration—another concern I can cross off my list.
“This is the best imitation chocolate I’ve ever tasted.” Her owl eyes crinkle at me over the rim of the mug. She takes another healthy sip.
“Phoebe, I need to give you a rundown of what we’re dealing with here. Keep drinking, okay?”
She does.
By now she’s figured out that I had to strip her bare. I hope she doesn’t feel too awkward about that. I will get around to telling her what I did to save her.
But right now, there are more important things to discuss.
She needs to hear the truth, but in a way that won’t cause her to panic. So I’ll tell her that I know my training and experience will keep us safe. Any factors I have control over, I’ll handle. No doubt about it. And that’s what I’ll tell her.
But there are a lot of unknowns in this situation. There’s no room for me to be cocky.
It’s going to be tough, even if we’re only out here for one night. I hope she's strong enough to deal with everything that's about to come our way.
“How bad is it, Evander? Just tell me. I can take it.” She holds the mug in both hands, her face calm and open. I appreciate that she’s so level-headed.
Well, of course she is. She’s a nurse. My brothers told me all about how she took charge when I came into the ER, barking orders, ripping my pants up to the crotch, telling everyone where to go and how fast to get there.
Finn said she was as cuddly as one of our BUD/s Hell Week instructors.
I see the pink returning to her cheeks. Her lips are still pale but no longer a sickly shade of blue-gray. The shaking is minimal.
Under those blankets, she’s still wearing my sweater.
And nothing else.
I kind of like the idea of that.
“It’s going to be bitterly cold tonight, Phoebe. We’ll have to sleep together, wrapped around one another, basically. Fully clothed, but still, I realize that might be uncomfortable for you. We don’t have a choice.”
She lowers her eyelashes and takes a delicate sip.
“This is a beast of a storm and we’re in danger out here. We’ll survive, but I need you to promise me something.”
She looks up, quite serious.
“Promise me that if I tell you to do something, you do it. No questions. No second guessing. If I say move, you move. If I tell you to trust me, you need to trust me. Because your life depends on it. We’re a team.
We’re in this together and we have to rely on one another.
But there’s a simple chain of command here, Phoebe.
I’m in charge. That isn’t up for debate.
Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
Her eyes widen. She’s a bit taken aback by my blunt instructions. I know I’m not a subtle man, even in the best of circumstances, which these are not. So I won’t be apologizing for telling her how it is and how it’s going to be from here on out.
“I understand.”
“Good.”
“Thank you for saving me, Evander.” Her voice is no more than a whisper, but she holds my gaze in hers, steady and honest. “And I trust you completely. I trust you with my life.”
Something fierce and wild rises up in me. All I want to do is grab her, crush her to my chest, and kiss her until she’s breathless. Of course, that doesn’t happen.
It never can. Never will.
“Drink up,” I say.