CHAPTER 34
Evander
Phoebe laughs.
“So, what happened next? You rode out to find this unique tree—did you even know which spruce he was talking about? Because there’s a million spruce trees around here.”
“I did not. But I had to get away from the wedding planning insanity, so I said I’d cut it down and haul it back for him. And then the storm hit. I got turned around. My GPS stopped working and I went off the trail. And that’s when I heard your whistle.”
She’s quiet. After a moment, she whispers, “Can I say it out loud? What we’re both thinking?”
“Go ahead.”
“That was really weird, right?”
“It was.”
“We’re talking thousands of square miles of ranch land. But we ended up in the same area. Close enough that you heard my avalanche whistle. What are the chances of that happening?”
“Zero.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Me either.”
“I shouldn’t be alive, Evander.”
My instinct is to reassure her that of course she should be alive, but that would be bullshit. And all I can think is… the idea of Phoebe dying strikes me with horror.
The death of someone I care about is the one thing I can’t stomach.
“I’m very glad you’re alive,” I say. “And here with me.”
“I’m alive and here because of you.”
I drop my hands from her hair and wrap my arms around her middle. She leans back into me. I appreciate how her slim, strong legs are stretched out and crossed at the ankle in front of her. “Are you cold, Phoebe?”
“I’m good. I’m in front of the fire and I’m actually wearing something.”
“Do you mind that I’m not?”
She laughs a little. “I don’t mind. It’s just…”
“What?”
“I have to ask—how much do you work out?”
“Usually about two hours a day, with one to two days off a week, depending on which muscle groups I’ve been targeting. I’m also a big fan of intermittent fasting.”
“Yeah, I know some people who really swear by it,” she says. “And as long as you’re not prone to an E.D., then it’s healthy.”
I freeze. Did I hear that right?
“Wait,” I ask. “There’s a link between intermittent fasting and erectile dysfunction?”
“What?” She whips around to stare at me. “E.D. in that context stands for eating disorder! Holy crap on a cracker, you should see the look on your face right now.”
I bust out laughing. She does, too. It takes me a minute before I can speak. “You just took several years off my life.”
She snuggles into me again. Her caresses resume, but on the other leg this time.
“How’s your surgical site, Evander? Is the cold causing any pain?”
“You know, it’s good. I forget about it most of the time.”
“I’m very glad.”
“Your turn, Miss Travis. What were you doing out here?”
Phoebe sighs. “I volunteered to deliver a bunch of supplies to the caretakers of our farthest-out grazing land. I was supposed to leave everything at a drop-off hut. And I almost made it when the storm hit.”
I listen. Hold her closer.
“Jake didn’t want me to go.”
“Why?”
“My brothers blow in every few months and think they can tell me how things should be handled. Which is just wrong, because they’re off doing their thing and I’m at the ranch, doing the things that need to be done. Honestly, it pisses me off a little bit.”
“If you were anyone else, it would piss you off a lot.”
“They mean well. I’m the baby and the only girl, so they’re all a bit overprotective. But Jake is…” Phoebe stops.
“He’s what?”
“He never says it out loud, but he’s got it in his head that I’m an innocent and he needs to defend my virtue or something—kind of like your assumption. I must give off a vibe.”
“Not anymore.”
She laughs. “Well, it drives me crazy.”
“You’ve never set him straight?”
“It’s none of his business! I’m an adult woman and I’m allowed to have a life. And anyway, what an inappropriate conversation to have with my brother!”
I drop a kiss on the top of her head. “So, what brought you back to Travis Ranch last year? You were working in Tucson, right? That’s a beautiful town. Why did you leave?”
Phoebe goes perfectly still in my arms. Her caress comes to a halt. My question has made her uncomfortable.
“You don’t have to answer that.”
She glances at me over her shoulder. I’m shocked to see a single tear rolling down her cheek. I don’t know what to do. She turns in my arms so that she’s facing me.
“I’m sorry for asking, Phoebe.”
She grabs my hands and holds them tight. She blinks at me and tips her head to the side. “My dad’s sick. My mom called me last year and asked me to come home.”
“What?”
She nods and tries to smile. “He’s doing pretty good, considering his diagnosis. And his pain is being managed, which isn’t always achievable with his kind of cancer. We have a lot to be thankful for.”
I’m stunned. I had no idea. “Phoebe, I’m so sorry.”
She shrugs. I reach out and swipe away the tear that’s now headed for her upper lip. It reminds me of when her antlers took the same path.
I adore this girl. And it’s killing me to see her in such pain.
“We don’t have to talk about it.”
“No, it’s okay.” She takes a deep breath. “I came back to help my mom oversee ranch operations. You know, just kind of be here for her. Dad’s not up to doing much right now. I took a nursing job at Sweetbriar Medical Center to keep my skills and certification current.”
She’s avoiding my gaze. I’m not sure of the best way to help her.
“I’m here if you ever want to talk,” I tell her.
“I don’t know what’s going on with your dad, and it’s not my place to ask, but my mom got very sick when I was a kid.
It was a tough time for all of us. Actually, it sucked so hard that I still feel it, after all these years.
I know what it’s like to deal with this kind of grief. ”
She looks up again, raises a hand, and pushes hair away from my face. The whole time, she’s studying me, my forehead, my temples, my eyebrows, nose, and mouth. It’s like she’s trying to puzzle something out.
What that might be, I have no clue, since I’ve never thought of myself as a puzzle in need of solving. I’m more of a black box. A blank slate.
And I’m useless as tits on a bull at this particular moment.
So I offer her the only thing I can. I open my arms and let her fall against me, and I hold her as she cries.