CHAPTER 47
Phoebe
Evander looks shell-shocked.
I probably shouldn’t have told him that, especially since he can’t use the roof as an excuse to escape.
Because there is no roof. It imploded and burned along with the rest of the shack. And now we’re in a hole in the ground and the snow is still falling and it’s got to be close to zero and well after midnight. Not that I can be sure of any of that.
Since my phone’s at the bottom of an icy lake! And all of Evander’s stuff—his phone, his GPS, his tactical watch—is burned to a crisp!
It's just Evander, me, and one remaining can of Beefaroni, huddled in this igloo.
If I weren’t so cold and tired, I’d probably be laughing hysterically.
Evander is staring blankly at me.
“You look like you’re having an existential crisis,” I tell him.
“So do you.”
“I’m scared and cold.”
“I can help with both those things.” He lifts the blankets from us and sets me aside long enough to add more wood to the fire.
I have to admit that the fire pit design is genius. It’s producing some heat and the hole in the ceiling draws the smoke out. But it’s just too damn cold out here for it to make much of a difference.
“Here, baby. Lie down.” Evander slides around behind me and I stretch out on my side, facing the fire. It’s the way we slept in the shack. I know he did it then to provide as much warmth as possible for me.
It’s why he’s doing it now.
He pulls the blankets over us once more and curls his big body around me.
“I’m trying to decide if I should apologize,” he says.
“For…?”
“Proposing to a nurse while under the influence.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, well, I thought it was cute. And it inspired me.”
“To do what?”
“One, to break up with Rick. And two, the dress.”
“Tell me all about this dress.”
“I’m not sure I should. I wanted it to be a surprise. See, I hired a seamstress to make a custom-made dress for me to wear to wear to Finn and Emma’s wedding.”
“Oh, damn. What color is it? What’s the fabric? Is it a black-tie thing or a party-girl-in-a-limo thing?”
“I don’t want to tell you, Evander. It’s supposed to be a surprise. My plan was to walk into the wedding and watch the expression change on your face when you finally realize that little Phoebe Travis has it goin’ on.”
“I see.” His voice is soft.
“But now… maybe I should tell you about it. I mean…” I have to pause or I’m going to cry because all I can think is that he’ll never get to see me in my dress. That I’ll never get to see Evander’s knees buckle or his head whip around so he can do a double-take.
Maybe this is that moment, for both of us.
“Not another word, Phoebe.”
His voice isn’t soft anymore.
“Tell me nothing about the dress because I want to be surprised. I want my eyeballs to pop out. I want my mouth to hang open. And I want to watch as you strut through Finn and Emma’s winter wonderland glitter fest owning everything you are.”
I feel myself laughing. I’m so grateful to him. I grab his gloved hand with my gloved hand and squeeze as hard as I can.
“Phoebe, I have no doubt that we’ll make it out of here.”
“Thank you for saying that.”
Ugh. I hope I’m not coming off as whiny and weak or pessimistic, but shit. I’m feeling all those things at the moment.
“You’ll be fine. I’ll be fine. And I’m going to tell you a story about why I know this to be true.”
“That would be nice.”
He sighs. “Sorry, but this isn’t me trying to make you laugh with a story about barn cats and goats. This is a story about my mom, and why you’re alive.”
My eyes fly open. Everything about Evander just changed. I can’t see him, but I can hear him and feel him trembling, and it’s not because he’s cold.
“I was a bitter kid, Phoebe. Being the middle of five boys sucked, and I was always looking for the next slight, the next bit of proof that I wasn’t special enough for my mom to love me. My hand-me-down wardrobe was my first clue.”
I try not to, but I laugh.
“It explains a lot, yes. My point is that my mom and I didn’t have the best relationship, and that was because of the chip on my shoulder. I blamed myself when she died, thinking that if I’d only been a more decent kid—”
“Evander—”
“I know now that I’m not to blame, but I didn’t back then. It helps explain why I’ve been so shut down all my life.”
“I’m the complete opposite. I’ve spent my whole life being coddled and fussed over and protected—smothered, really. So I rebelled by choosing to focus on helping others, which took the attention off me.”
“We’re quite the pair, Phoebe.”
“We are. Please keep going—what were you saying about your mom?”
Evander sighs deeply. I feel his ribcage expand and contract against my back.
“Her death did a number on me. For a long time, I felt unlovable, completely lost. But my dad always told us that Mom would never be gone, that she would always be looking out for us, and all we had to do was ask for her help when things got rough.”
“That’s very sweet.”
“You remember earlier today, when you said that I saved you so that this could happen between us?”
I stop breathing. “Yes.”
“You’re right. There’s no way you should be alive, Phoebe. Either of us, really.”
I swallow.
“I heard a whistle and screams for help in the middle of absolutely nothing and nowhere, and as soon as I stepped on the ice, it fractured. My SEAL training kicked in, sure, and I evenly distributed my weight on my toes and fingers and belly-crawled out to the person in the water. But I still can’t figure out how I managed it. ”
I hear myself whimper. This is tough to listen to.
“I had no idea it was you, of course. So when I reached the victim, all I knew was they were frozen stiff and slipping under. They didn’t even have the strength to grab onto me.
Somehow, I pulled them out of the water and dragged them backwards across the busted ice.
And just before we reached solid ground, the whole surface gave way. ”
I gasp.
“I just threw the person into the snow behind me and hoped for the best, then hurled myself to land. I flipped the limp body over, expecting to find them dead. And that’s when I saw… you.”
I taste my salty tears through the fabric of my face mask.
“I barely remember how I did it, but I got you half stripped and took off the upper part of my clothes and held you to the front of my body while I drove the ATV into the storm. I had no idea where I was, but I knew you were going to die if I didn’t find shelter—and I mean immediately.”
I turn around in his arms. It’s terribly cold and there’s barely any light from the fire, but I pull down his mask so I can at least try to see his face. Then I pull down mine.
“How did you find the shack?”
“I don’t think I did, baby. That’s what I’m getting at. I asked my mom to save your life, and not ten seconds later, the shack’s roofline came into view through the curtain of snow.”
I press my cheek to his, just to make contact, feel his warmth. His face is wet from his tears. I kiss them away.
“Maybe your mom knew what was in our hearts and was just doing what she could to give us a fighting chance.”
“I think that’s exactly what she did, and it’s why I’m convinced we’re going to make it. You and I are supposed to be together. My mom saved your life and protected mine so that we could.”
“Thank you, Stella MacLaine,” I whisper.
“Thanks, Ma,” Evander says.
Then he crushes his mouth to mine. I squeeze him tight, and we both hold on. My heart overflows with gratitude and love.
I tell myself that if I think positive thoughts, I can wish something good into existence.
And tomorrow will be full of wonderful surprises.