3. Chapter Three
Bethany steps into the kitchen with a small smile and looks over at me. “Got a hot date tonight?” she says. I swear, every day this girl acts more and more like she’s older than she is. She wags her eyebrows at me and I roll my eyes.
It’s been the same type of conversation for a while now. I know that Bethany would like to see me settle down with someone and I’ve handled it so far by trying to steer our conversations in a different direction, but every time we have this conversation, the harder she is on me about it.
“You know what tonight is, Bethany,” I say softly. I’m trying not to be hard on her, but it’s difficult right now. With Autumn sitting a few feet away from us, it has me on edge and I’m not sure I can keep my calm the way I usually would. This isn’t the kind of conversation I want to have with my daughter while another woman is sitting in the same room.
“Uncle Elijah has a sister, you know. She’s pretty, wouldn’t you say?” She asks with amusement shining in her eyes.
“Bethany,” I say sternly, bringing out the dreaded bad cop side of me. “That’s enough.”
She groans loudly. “Come on, Dad. Would it be so bad to have someone in your life?” My gaze cuts to Autumn, who’s acting like she’s not watching us by looking at the counter, but I can tell she’s listening. I don’t like it.
“I said enough, Bethany. If you can’t stop, then you’ll eat dinner in your room.”
Her eyes shine with tears, making me feel terrible, and she shakes her head. “I just want to see you happy, Dad, that’s all. Sorry.” I want to apologize for the way I reacted, but she scurries out of the kitchen before I can get that chance. “Shit,” I mutter and run a hand over my face.
“That was harsh,” Autumn says.
As if my mood isn’t already bad enough, Autumn has to start giving me her opinion on my parenting? I don’t think so. “Good thing it’s not your damn business, then isn’t it?” I spit.
“She loves you, Easton. Stop cutting her off before you can hear her out.”
I groan loudly and turn to her with an eyebrow arched. “Do you not understand what none of your business means, Autumn?”
“I do, I’m just not caring right now because she didn’t deserve that from you. She hates seeing you alone all the time, which is understandable as she gets older, and it’s about time you start thinking about that.”
Every instinct in me is telling me to end this conversation, but my heart knows she’s right. I’m saved from answering when the doorbell chimes and I hurry to answer it. Elijah walks in with his sister, Raine, who’s smiling brightly next to him, which is a stark contrast to the constant frown her brother always seems to wear.
Elijah has had a bug up his ass ever since shit went down between his sister and some famous actress. Apparently the other girl ‘stole’ Raine’s boyfriend and Elijah has been going downhill ever since. I’ve personally never gotten in the middle of that kind of drama, but I’d probably be just as salty if it were Savanna it happened to.
“Raine, Elijah, always a pleasure to have you two here.”
It’s rare that Elijah has the time to be able to come over for dinner and it’s nice to be able to catch up with each other after a week or two. We’ve been having these get togethers for a while now and until I moved to this house, we’d always meet at Elijah’s. He slaps me on the back as we give each other a bro hug before pulling away and turning his attention to Autumn who looks him up and down appreciatively.
My blood heats with jealousy and I try to shake it off, knowing it’s the wrong thing to feel at this moment, but instead I clear my throat to gain her attention and get her eyes off him. She looks over at me and the way her eyes are shining in amusement as she does pisses me off. Is there something in my reaction that makes her think this is amusing?
“Autumn, you know Elijah, and this is his sister, Raine.”
Raine has been MIA from Maple Creek ever since she made it big as a model, which is fine, and the only reason she’s back here now is because of everything that happened with her now ex-boyfriend. I’m not going to lie, Raine is a beautiful woman, but not only would I not be able to form a relationship with her as Elijah’s my best friend, I don’t feel that type of connection with her.
Our connection is more on a sibling level. She’s like a sister to me and I know she feels the same way about me.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Raine says softly, her hand held out to Autumn for a hand shake. Her eyes widen when Autumn walks over to her with arms spread wide and pulls her in for a hug instead.
Autumn chuckles. “You’ll come to realize I’m a hugger.” There’s a bubbly energy about her that has everyone in the room smiling brightly, but my smile falls when Bethany makes her way into the room.
“Hey, Uncle Elijah,” she wraps a loose arm around him, sadness reflected in her young eyes when she glances at me and gives Raine a small smile. “Raine.”
Elijah tugs her tighter against him and scoffs. “Is that the best you can give me, Bethy?”
Savanna was the first one to ever give her that nickname and it seems as though everyone else has joined in with it as well – everyone except me that is. I’ve called her by the nickname a few times, but I usually stick with her full name.
Bethany giggles when he tickles her side, getting a big smile out of her, and he nods. “That’s what I like to see. What’s got you so down?”
Before the conversation can steer toward me and my lack of love life, I clap my hands to gain everyone’s attention. “Who’s ready to eat?”
While the girls stay in the living room and talk animatedly with each other, our bellies full from dinner, Elijah and I grab a beer before heading out back to my large patio. Throughout the entire dinner Bethany barely looked at me or talked to anyone and it only made me more upset about the way I spoke to her.
It’s hard to be in this situation where I have to be both mother and father, but I’m doing the best I can. I have no doubt that if Elena were alive, I would’ve ended up being the strict parent while Elena would be the one to calm her down and talk through everything. But as that’s not my reality, I have to walk a fine line and I don’t always get it right. I make a mental note to talk to Bethany later and I’ll apologize to her.
“What’s going on, man?” Elijah finally asks, cutting the silence.
“What do you mean?”
He sighs. “Bethany wasn’t acting like she normally does and you’ve been keeping an eye on her all night. So, what’s up?”
“She brought it up again.”
Elijah has been around long enough to know exactly what I’m talking about, so he nods slowly and leans forward with his elbows resting on his knees. “She’s just watching out for you, bro. You’ve got to give her something. Throughout the last five years, coming up on six, she hasn’t seen you with anyone else. It’s hard on her, I’m sure, just try to understand that.”
He’s like a smoother version of Autumn and it infuriates me. I glance through the glass sliding door and can’t help but wonder what Autumn and Raine seem to be talking about so intently. Autumn’s arm is around Raine’s shoulders as they talk with serious expressions on their faces. Knowing Raine as I do, I’d be surprised if she was sharing the mess with her ex so quickly with someone she’s just met, but I also know Autumn.
She’s easy to talk to and from the looks of things, Raine seems to think so too. A warm feeling I don’t want to recognise burns in my chest as I watch them and cast a look over at Bethany. I assume if Autumn and Raine were talking about anything too heavy, they wouldn’t do it in front of her and I’m happy to see she’s smiling as she sits between the two girls, looking back and forth between them.
I hate that she hasn’t been able to look at me tonight.
Bethany and I have a great relationship, except when it comes to this topic.
Could I try to find happiness with someone for her sake?
The fear of it ending as terribly as it did with Elena forces anxiety to rise and coil in my stomach. I’m not sure I could handle it if something were to happen again. “I just can’t do it, Eli.”
He blows out a rough breath and stares at me intently. This is how I know he’s going to say something serious. “Easton, brother, I love you to death, but you deserve happiness outside of being Bethany’s father. You can’t let fear rule your life. Maybe just try and see what happens. It’s okay if it doesn’t work out.”
His words have me looking back at Autumn. What would it be like if I were to kiss her? It’s not like I’ve never thought about it before, but I’ve tried keeping it inside all these years later. I’ve also noticed a certain look in her eyes when she sometimes looks at me, giving me the sense that she’s as attracted to me as I am to her. That thought sends a shiver down my spine.
It’s not a feeling I’m used to having.
“Ready to go, big bro?” Raine asks as she steps onto the patio with an almost empty wine glass in her hand. She takes the last sip and sighs. “I’m exhausted.”
“We can head out,” Elijah says, then lifts from his chair and holds a hand out to me. “As always, dinner was great, man. Keep an open mind about what I said, yeah?”
I nod and let my head fall back into my chair as they let themselves out. I hear the car doors slam shut before headlights are shining through the back yard when they reverse out of the driveway. I snap my head toward the back door when it shuts behind me.
Autumn walks over to me, her red hair flowing down the length of her back, her hips swaying as if hoping I’ll watch them. She flops onto the seat next to me, her wine glass filled to the brim, and looks at me. “Interesting night. Your friends are nice.”
I nod. “They are.”
“Bethany is still upset, though. I think you should talk to her before she goes to bed.”
It’s not that I don’t appreciate her giving me her opinion, I just hate that she feels the need to. “I really don’t want to get into this right now, Autumn.”
She scoffs. “You should’ve thought about that before talking to her right in front of me. The entire town knows you have a giant shield surrounding you, but your daughter doesn’t understand why you won’t take it down and she deserves an explanation.”
I’d really love it if she would stop talking.
At this moment, Elijah’s words come back to haunt me and I silently pray that they’ll leave as fast as they appeared. They don’t though. Instead, I watch as Autumn takes another sip of her drink and I eye the way her throat bobs when she swallows. It shouldn’t be as sexy as it is and I tell myself that the only reason I lean forward is because my head isnt on straight and she’s looking too good to pass up the opportunity.
She stares at me in confusion, but doesn’t move back, and, before I can think better of it, I lean in and seal my mouth over hers, effectively ending all conversation. Autumn moans and slides her fingers into my hair, surprising the fuck out of me.
In another surprise move, she suddenly breaks the kiss and moves so she’s straddling me. I groan as she thrusts her tongue in and around my mouth and I grind my hips into her, holding her in place with my hands and working both of us into a writhing frenzy of want and need.
She rips her mouth from mine and turns her head to the side where she nips my earlobe. “Autumn, God, we should stop before—-”
“Dad, can I have some ice cream?”
The sound of Bethany running down the stairs is the bucket of cold water we both need to stop the madness before it’s too late. Autumn’s eyes widen in panic and she jumps off of my lap so quickly she bounces on the sofa next to me when she lands. I’m left to grab a cushion and put it over the bulge in my pants so I don’t scar my daughter for life if she were to come outside.
“Sure thing, honey!” I call out to her.
Autumn and I go back to staring at each other, both of us breathing heavily. She doesn’t say anything and after a few endless seconds, gets up and rushes into the house, the door slamming shut behind her.
I take a deep breath and wonder what the fuck just happened.