9. Chapter Nine
The light shining through my bedroom window wakes me early the next morning and I slowly open my eyes and sigh in frustration at the empty space next to me.
I had hoped that Autumn would stay with me last night, but she couldn’t run out of here fast enough. The look of regret and embarrassment on her face when I came back into the bedroom hurt me more than I was expecting so I didn’t try to stop her. What would be the point?
I’m not used to feeling so out of control and I’m not sure what to do with these feelings. Being with Autumn last night was the most alive I’ve felt since Elena died. I’ve intentionally closed my heart off as a way to avoid being hurt again and after last night I know with a shadow of a doubt that Autumn has the power to hurt me more than anything or anyone ever has before.
When I hear voices coming from downstairs letting me know that Bethany’s home, I let out a heavy sigh and get out of bed. I take a quick shower and then pull on a pair of jeans and a long-sleeve tee before joining Bethany and Autumn in the kitchen. My heart stutters in my chest when I watch them silently from the doorway. They’re smiling at each other as they scroll through their phones and every few seconds Bethany leans over and shows Autumn her screen causing them both to squeal excitedly.
The fact that Bethany gets along well with Autumn warms my heart and goes a little way to lessening the guilt I feel at accepting my promotion. Knowing she’s okay when I’m away is everything to me. I was worried at first that Autumn wouldn’t rise to the challenge of this job, but she’s a natural.
“Do you think he’ll like it?” Bethany asks as her cheeks turn a bright shade of pink.
This has my interest piqued.
Autumn scoffs. “Girl, he won’t know what hit him when he sees you like this.” She finally senses my presence and looks over at me and I don’t miss the blush that forms on her beautiful face before she averts her gaze. “Why don’t you head upstairs and look at more make-up ideas?” She says to Bethany.
“Okay,” Bethany says. “Hey, Dad! Autumn and I are looking at dresses for the dance. They’re soooo cute!”
“Morning, baby,” I greet her. “I can’t wait to see them. What’s this I hear about makeup?” I look at Autumn as I say this. I don’t know how I feel about my baby girl wearing makeup. When did she become old enough for that shit?
“Oh, Dad,” my pre-teen rolls her eyes at me. “All the girls are wearing it. You’re just an old Fuddy Duddy. Gotta go!” And with those disconcerting words, she runs past me. Fuddy Duddy? I’m not one of those. Am I?
I clear my throat and address Autumn. “Morning.”
She gives me a nod in response and takes a sip of her coffee, but doesn’t answer. That right there is why last night was a bad idea, even though it seemed like the best idea in the world at the time. Now everything is awkward and uncomfortable again and you could cut the tension with a knife.
Hell, I did nothing but think about her last night once I got into bed. How easily she came apart under my touch, her screams as she cried out when she orgasmed, and how soft her skin felt beneath my hands and mouth. My dick jumps in my pants at the memory and I quickly turn away to hide the evidence and decide to ignore the elephant in the room. Pun intended.
“I’m heading out with Bethany today, so you’ll have the place to yourself for a while.”
She hums in response and continues scrolling through her phone.
“What were you two talking about when I walked in anyway?” I try again.
Autumn sighs and says, “Her school dance.” That’s the only information she gives me. I knew that Autumn had got her a dress while I was out of town the first time, but I didn’t know that they had been talking about other things as well - like putting makeup on my daughter.
It leaves a heavy weight on my heart, knowing that this is one of those moments Elena would’ve loved to have been part of. I give Autumn a curt nod and then head upstairs to knock on Bethany’s bedroom door. She pulls it open and I give her a smile. “Do you want to spend the day with your Fuddy Duddy Dad?” I ask her.
She laughs and says, “Sure. What do you want to do?”
I shrug. “Let’s play it by ear. Just get ready and plan to be out all day.”
“Awesome! Okay. I’ll be down soon.”
It’s been a while since we’ve been able to do anything together. Between my promotion and moving into the new house, there’s barely been enough time for anything other than sitting on the couch together which is why I’m looking forward to finally having the opportunity to spend some quality time with her today.
I’ve also already let my boss know that I need to be in town the night of her dance. I’m excited to be here for such a milestone, but I’m also looking forward to putting the fear of God into her date. In the nicest possible way of course.
Weeks have passed since Autumn and I were together and if I thought being constantly around her was going to get any easier I was sorely mistaken. Each morning I walk into the kitchen to find her sitting there with a coffee mug clutched in her hand and I keep wishing that she woke up next to me every morning instead of in her own bed.
Today though?
Tonight is the night of Bethany’s first dance and Autumn has been pampering her all day. Right now they are laughing at each other while Autumn does Bethany’s hair and I lean against the doorframe watching them. Neither of them has spared me a glance, which I don’t mind as it gives me a moment to study them both.
Autumn lights up when she talks to Bethany, coming alive in a way that I’ve never seen before, not even when she’s with Savanna. Bethany also looks happier than I’ve ever seen her. She’s laughing and giggling as Autumn fixes her hair and it terrifies the hell out of me. She’s getting attached to Autumn in a way I didn’t anticipate, but for the moment I’ll have to let it go.
Tonight’s too important for me to make a big deal out of the two of them having fun together.
Autumn claps when she finishes the last of Bethany’s hair and smiles brightly as she picks up a small mirror so Bethany can hold it to her face and use it to check out the back through the mirror behind her. “We’re done, girlfriend!” Bethany gets up from the chair and I watch as Autumn takes a garment bag from the hook on the back of the closet door. “Now, let’s get this baby on.”
Bethany glances my way and frowns when she sees me standing there. “Do you mind, Dad? I’m not changing with you in here.”
I chuckle and throw my hands in the air before backing away from the doorway. “Let me know when you’re done. I can’t wait to see how beautiful you look.”
These days I don’t know which version of Bethany I’m going to get. One minute she’s happy and laughing with me, the next she’s having an attitude and stomping away from me. I know it’s a thing that will happen as she gets older, but she’s giving me damn whiplash with her random moods.
Bethany nods and shuts the door and I can hear the sounds of shuffling behind it as she lets Autumn help her into the dress. It only takes a few minutes before the door is being pulled back open and Autumn lets me back into the room. She’s got a wide smile on her face and when I look over her shoulder, I can see why.
“Bethy,” I say softly. “You look beautiful. Just like your mom.”
Her eyes shine, then she shakes her head and looks at me with eyes shining with tears. “Don’t make me cry, Dad, you’ll ruin my makeup before I get there.”
“Who is this boy, by the way? Why have I never met him or his family?”
Bethany groans and looks over at Autumn. “Can you please tell him not to embarrass me?”
Autumn chuckles behind me and places a hand over my arm. “Easton, leave her alone. She’s nervous enough as it is. I’ve told you before, he’s a good boy.”
Apparently while I was gone on my last out of town job, Bethany ended up bringing her date over and Autumn got to meet him. I’ll give her credit; she did call me before letting him in my house to see if I would be okay with it and I figured it was the best chance I had of getting an idea of what the kid is like.
“So you’re meeting him there?” I ask Bethany.
She smiles and grabs the clutch off the vanity which Autumn lent to her for the night. “Yes, Dad and he’s probably already waiting for me so we should head out.”
Bethany pulls Autumn into a tight hug and my heart turns over in my chest at the sight. “Thanks for everything, Autumn. You rock.”
Autumn nods with tears shining in her eyes and I eye her curiously before following Bethany out of her room.
As we step out onto the front porch and head towards my car, Autumn hollers for us and holds her phone up. “Let me take a picture of you two before you leave.”
She snaps a few pictures, including silly ones where we’re both pulling faces for the camera and then waves us away excitedly as she watches me back out of the driveway.
When I pull up in front of the school and cut the engine, Bethany jumps out, waving to her friends who are waiting on the sidewalk.
“Hey!” I call out to her as I climb out of the driver’s side. “Don’t you say goodbye to your dad anymore?”
She turns to me with a big grin on her face and says, “Sorry, Dad. I’m just excited!”
“I can tell. Go have fun and if I didn’t tell you earlier, you look beautiful.”
“Thanks, Dad. Go thank Autumn and tell her what a great job she did! Gotta go! Bye!” Before she disappears into the gym where the dance is being held, through the entrance, she stops and turns back around. “Don’t forget, I’m staying with Raelynn after the dance, but I’ll be home in the morning!” She doesn’t bother waiting for a response before disappearing into the school with her friends close beside her.
As I get back into my truck, I sit for a while thinking, not for the first time, about how quickly my little girl’s growing up. It wasn’t long ago when she’d hug me goodbye when she went somewhere without me. Not anymore, though. Now I’m a Fuddy Duddy. It’s not cool to hug your dad in public.
I let out a rough breath and shake my head. Before I know it, Bethany’s going to be heading off to college and I’ll be on my own. Should I listen to my daughter and at least attempt to date someone?
That thought has my stomach rolling. It doesn’t feel right. What does feel right is being with Autumn. But Autumn doesn’t plan on sticking around. Can I risk not only my heart, but Bethany’s as well? It seems like a recipe for disaster, but at the same time it feels like it could be worth the risk.
And that thought doesn’t make me feel as uneasy as it once would have.