17. Chapter Seventeen
My mother has been oddly silent tonight while stealing curious glances my way before looking at my plate. I look at my father, who’s staring at my mom with a frown, and I immediately know tonight is going to be just like every other night I’m over here for dinner. Savanna should be arriving once Dawson gets off at the station, but until then it’s only me, Bethany and my parents.
“Okay, Ma,” I mutter, dropping my fork onto the plate with a loud clunk. She jumps in surprise, feigning innocence when she looks at me, and I shake my head. “What is it this time? Or, should I ask, who is it this time?”
She brings one of the napkins to her lips, dabbing them gently, and chuckles the way she usually does when she’s going to try lying. “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”
My dad is shaking his head, then starts rising from the table with a smile aimed at Bethany. “Why don’t we give them some space for a minute, kiddo?”
Bethany frowns. “I’m not done eating yet, Pa.”
He looks to me for confirmation that she can sit here and I just shrug my shoulders – it’s not like she hasn’t tried having the same conversations with me in the past. Once he disappears around the corner into the living room, which then fills with the sound of stats from tonights game, I narrow my eyes at my mother.
She sighs and straightens her posture, which usually means business, but I’m sick of this so-called business being my love life. If I want to go out on a date with someone, I’ll do it on my own time and not because my mom’s playing matchmaker. I’m not sure how many more times I can keep telling her that. “Easton, don’t you think it’s time?”
I scoff. “What I think is that it’s my life and I can choose when it’s time for myself.”
“And when will that be, Easton?” She asks, her voice taking on an edge that I haven’t heard in a long time. Normally when we talk about this, she’s more soft spoken and tries to understand where my grief is coming from. This is a new side of her though. “Your daughter is getting older, and then she’s going to leave and be out on her own. What then?”
To be honest, that’s something I’ve thought about myself, not that I’ll admit to that right now. My mind conjures up images of Autumn standing next to Bethany at her graduation, a bright smile on her face as she celebrates my daughters accomplishments as her own.
“I’m not ready right now, Ma.”
Beside me Bethany huffs and pushes away from the table, her cheeks pink when she looks at me. “I’ve tried not to say anything, but I don’t like seeing you like this, Dad.” She takes a deep breath and gives me a small smile. “I know about you and Autumn.”
My mother perks up at the mention of Autumn’s name and gives my daughter her full attention. Meanwhile, my face drains of color and I can’t look away from Bethany. “H-how do you know anything about that?”
She rolls her eyes and hugs herself. “That’s not important, Dad. Stop lying to yourself and be happy already.” There’s still a mountain of food on her plate when she walks away and I’m left staring dumbfoundedly after her at a loss for words.
Why would Autumn tell Bethany anything? I trusted her and now that’s all gone down the drain. It’s so quiet in the dining room when the front door opens that you can hear every single cricket nearby, along with Savanna and Dawson’s giggles in the entryway.
Savanna clamps her lips together when she comes to a stop inside the doorway, noting the serious looks on our faces, then she slowly backs away from us. “I’m, uh, going to see who’s winning the game.”
“Sav,” I holler, forcing her to stop mid-step. “Get back here. You aren’t out of the woods yet.”
She sighs and slowly walks into the room, while Dawson gives her a gentle kiss on the forehead before following the sound of the TV. I’m tapping my foot rapidly on the floor, trying to contain my anger before I flip out on everyone here, and level my eyes on my little sister.
“What’s up?” She’s fidgeting with her hands on her lap, which shows me she knows exactly what’s going on. Savanna is normally here when my mother gets into her matchmaking stage of the evening.
“How the hell does Bethany know anything about me and Autumn?”
Her eyes dart around the room, looking at everything except me, and I growl in frustration before she finally gives me her attention. “We may have been talking about it and Bethany overheard the conversation. But—.”
I throw my hands in the air to cut her off, then shake my head. “It was my business to tell when I was ready. There’s nothing going on with Autumn and me, got it?” I say as I look between Mom and Sav. Both of their gazes are heavy on me, but they nod when I look at them individually.
I’m more than ready to cut this night short.
My mother frowns when I push away from the table, her eyes sad, and it’s almost enough to make me change my mind. I need a breather though. Bethany is smiling at my dad while he repeats everything the sports announcer says and I watch them for a few moments, basking in the fact that they are able to have these moments at all.
There was a brief time months ago that I thought he was leaving us forever, but I should’ve known that his ticker would be strong. He gave everyone quite a scare, but it brought Dawson and Savanna back together when she came back to town to be with him, so that’s a good thing.
I clear my throat and catch everyone’s attention, choosing to ignore Savanna and my mother behind me as I tap on Bethany’s shoulder. “Come on, Bethany, we’re heading out early.”
She stares at me defiantly and shakes her head. “What if I want to stay?”
“Not tonight. You’re coming home with me.”
“That’s not fair!” She hollers, making everyone around us jump. Bethany can have an attitude at times, but it’s rare for her to raise her voice at me. “Just because you are upset shouldn’t mean that I have to go, too.”
My dad sighs and plants a soft kiss to the top of her head. “Sorry, kiddo, your dad is the boss and he wants you to head out with him. Maybe next time you stay we can do ice cream sundaes, yeah?”
No matter how many times I tell them she doesn’t need all kinds of junk food, that doesn’t stop them from giving it to her. Is it really that difficult for anyone in this place to listen to me? I hold my hand out and frown. “Let’s go, Bethany. Now.”
She huffs, then stomps away from the couch without grabbing my hand and pushes the front door open. I don’t say anything else as I walk away to follow Bethany out to the truck. She’s already sitting in the passenger seat when I step off the front porch, her gaze narrowed and pointed toward a cluster of trees in front of her window, and she doesn’t say anything as I climb into the front seat with her.
The rest of the ride is silent and it’s not long before I’m pulling in front of my house with Bethany still sulking beside me. I expect her to dash out of the car and continue ignoring me, but instead she sighs and looks over at me. “It would be cool, you know? I like Autumn; she doesn’t treat me like a little kid.”
I groan. “I don’t want to have this conversation again, Bethany. I’m not ready.”
Tears well up in her eyes and she snaps her head away from me, which makes me feel worse than I already do. I don’t like seeing her this way, but doesn’t she realize I’m trying to do all this for her? To protect her from the hurt that she would feel when Autumn decided she was leaving?
“It’s not that simple, Bethy,” I whisper while angling her gaze back over to mine and wiping at the tears that have escaped down her cheeks. “One day, you’ll understand.”
She sniffles and shrugs away from my touch, then jumps out of the truck without another word. My only hope is that after some sleep she’ll be more willing to understand my views come morning. There’s a light on in the living room when I walk up the front porch steps and it brings my anger rushing right back to the surface.
Autumn is sitting on the couch with a frown when I casually walk into the house and she looks at me in concern. “What’s going on?” You can tell she’s worried about why Bethany is crying, which only makes these feelings more confusing than before.
I drop my keys onto the stand next to the door, then quietly stride into the living room with hands shoved in my pockets and my lips puckered in annoyance. “Question. Why the hell did Bethany bring us up at my mother’s house tonight?”
Autumn’s face turns a nasty shade of white and she shakes her head. “I didn’t mean for her to hear anything. She wasn’t home when I talked to Savanna and I didn’t hear her come in.”
I scoff and shake my head. “What are your plans for the future, Autumn? Do you remember me asking you that on our date?”
She nods and swallows thickly while waiting for my response. “You said that you are just going with the flow, am I right?”
Autumn’s eyes have taken on a glassy sheen, but I can’t bring myself to care right now, and she nods silently. “What makes you think that’s a good situation for Bethany? To know that the woman I let into our lives has every intention of leaving, months, or even years, down the road? I can’t do it, Autumn.”
I shake my head and stomp upstairs, briefly glancing at Bethany’s closed door.
What the hell did I just do? Everything I thought I knew is slowly dissolving, being replaced by bits and pieces of a future with Autumn that I can’t seem to shake no matter how hard I try. I run a hand through my hair, then fall back onto the mattress with a loud sigh while ignoring the message that pings on my phone.
All I know is that I’m royally and truly fucked right now. It doesn’t help that there’s a knot in my stomach from how terribly I talked to Autumn just now.