23. Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Three
Pasha
T he night had been filled with bittersweet moments. I’d gotten to walk Mia down the aisle, had seen Victoria run toward her mother, their faces filled with joy. Tyler had wiped away his tears at the sight of them together.
We’d come a long way from Mia sitting beside me in the car outside Tyler’s shop in Little Falls. I liked that town, might even settle there someday. And I wondered whether Alyssa would like Little Falls the same way I did.
We’d hardly had a minute together, even with Gerald taking point on most of the security concerns. I’d expected to be busy, but the lack of free time only emphasized the ticking clock.
The first flight off the island was at seven tomorrow morning, and Alyssa would be on it. She’d fly out of my life, maybe forever.
With wedding preparations and fixing security issues the last two weeks, we hadn’t had many opportunities to dwell on her leaving, about our relationship coming to an end.
Staying together seemed too complex with the schedules each of us would have.
I couldn’t leave my job with Mia or I’d be sent back to Russia.
Alyssa needed her job to pay off the rest of her debt and make her mortgage payments.
Phone calls, text messages, and video chats. Would those be enough?
My life in Russia had been so blended with Zoya and her family and friends, and I’d known we fit. There’d been no question in my mind. I’d never met any of Alyssa’s family, none of her friends. If I wasn’t sure we’d work, wouldn’t I be holding her back from finding someone else?
Even thinking those words was enough to make my stomach turn.
Someone else . I didn’t want anyone else, and I didn’t want her to want anyone else either.
The distance between us would only grow once she left the island.
In the short time we’d had together, I wasn’t sure if we built a foundation solid enough to overcome a lengthy separation.
My thoughts scattered every time I tried to work out the best solution.
“You ready?” Mia wrapped her hands around my bicep. “You seem tense.”
I sipped my drink and searched for Alyssa in the crowd. My dance with Mia was next, and I should be thinking about the steps, going over the handholds. A shot of nerves zipped through me.
But all I could think about was the number of hours I had left with Alyssa—fewer than twelve—the hole she’d leave behind in my life, in my heart.
“I’m ready.” At least for the dance. The steps were lodged in my subconscious. Sometimes I dreamed of the routine. Of course, my partner in those dreams wasn’t Mia. It was Alyssa, and the dance quickly turned into… something else entirely.
I grew hard at the memory and wished I could tug on the front of my pants without anyone noticing. Too many eyes were on Mia and therefore me.
Think of something else .
“You’re going to miss her? Are you two trying the long-distance thing?”
I glanced down. Mia must have followed my gaze because she was focused on Alyssa across the room, where I’d been looking just a moment ago. “I don’t know how that would work.”
“Have you asked her?”
“I don’t want to hold her back from the things she wants.”
“What if one of the things she wants is you?”
I shook my head. “I’m not sure a relationship would work.”
“Why not?”
“It’s complicated.” More complicated because I couldn’t get my thoughts organized in a straight line. A plus B didn’t seem to equal C.
“We should talk tomorrow, okay? I want you to be happy.” She patted my arm.
A hint of a smile touched my lips. Tyler was surprising her with a honeymoon in the morning, so I doubted we’d have much of a chance for a discussion. “Yes, tomorrow.”
“Ladies and gentlemen,” Grady Castillo, Tyler’s brother-in-law, said over the announcement system.
“We’ve already had the first dance, the mother-son dance, and now we’ve got a special treat.
Instead of the traditional father-daughter dance, Mia has asked one of her very best friends to help her showcase Alyssa Miller’s exceptional dance choreography.
So, if you’d like to turn your attention to the dance floor, I’ve heard you won’t regret it. ”
With a sly smile, Mia stepped out in the middle of the room, and the crowd cleared away.
Nerves rendered me stiff, unsure on the sidelines.
As though Alyssa had spoken my name, I sought her face in the crowd.
She was on the edge of the circle, her hands clasped over her heart, and there was so much confidence and certainty in her face, as though she had complete faith in me, and my nerves loosened.
I removed my jacket, tossed it over a chair, rolled up my shirt sleeves, released the breath I’d been holding, and followed Mia onto the floor.
We stood poised in the middle of the expansive ballroom, facing the sea of people, some I recognized, many I did not. My heart drummed, anticipation and fear causing a sweat to break out under my armpits.
Before I’d gotten out of bed this morning, Alyssa had whispered in my ear, I can’t wait to see you dance.
I’d laughed her off, but her words buoyed me now.
I didn’t care what anyone else thought, only her.
Dance well enough, fast enough to impress Alyssa, to make her proud, to do her routine justice.
At the first beat of music, I switched off my brain and let the intensive training Alyssa had given take over. The pace was fast, and I couldn’t give myself even a moment to slow down or I’d miss a step. Every lift, every twirl, every twist and turn flowed like liquid.
When I brought Mia over my shoulders, around my head, and back through my legs, the crowd went wild. Alyssa’s cry of “Yes, Pasha!” hit me square in the chest, the warmth of pride flooding me.
We’d practiced the complicated lift over and over, and I’d faltered with Alyssa and Amy, since they were both taller than Mia. I’d finally mastered the sequence with Mia last week, but I hadn’t been consistent, sometimes dropping her or having to stop mid-move to adjust my grip.
My feet moved without me having to consider how and where they’d land, and I rode a wave of adrenaline. At some point, this routine had gotten easy without me even realizing.
For the last section of the dance, I faced Mia and grinned, bursting with joy. Her answering spark of laughter gave me even more confidence. The pace of the song increased, and we picked up our footwork, keeping time as though we’d been doing this dance for years instead of weeks.
Normally, at this point in the routine, I was winded, damp with sweat, wishing for it to end, but instead I was energized, truly believing I could dance all night.
When the music came to a close, I dipped Mia, her back arching over my arm, and the crowd broke out into a round of catcalls and applause so loud it was almost deafening. I tipped Mia back onto her feet.
Her smile split her face. “Holy shit. Amazing. Really. So, so, so amazing.” She gripped my face. “You were incredible.” She turned on her heel. “Where’s Alyssa?”
I pointed at her on the sidelines, still clutching her chest, tears in her eyes.
Mia rushed Alyssa and jumped onto her. With Mia’s enthusiasm, they both stumbled, falling all over each other and laughing.
I winced at the pressure that might put on Alyssa’s ankle, but she seemed fine.
A hand clapped me on my shoulder, and I half turned to have Tyler lock me into a Sullivan hug.
“I hadn’t seen the dance since Alyssa demonstrated the routine. I didn’t think you had a hope in hell.” He chuckled. “That was fire. Absolute five-alarm fire. Good for you, man. You’re going to be as famous as my wife.” He rocked back on his heels. “God, I like saying that. My wife .”
I laughed. “Aren’t I already as famous?” My life had become tabloid fodder.
“In the right way this time.” Tyler’s smile was wry.
People swarmed Mia and Alyssa, including the videographer in charge of live streaming the wedding. Perhaps Alyssa would become known for something other than her personal life .
Jazz’s plan, if it had been to somehow diminish this accomplishment for Alyssa, this moment for Mia, had failed.
The dance, so hard to master, had turned into pure perfection, and Alyssa deserved all the credit for getting Mia and me to this point.
The crowd around Alyssa and Mia shifted toward Tyler and me, a few people directing questions at me.
My answers were short. I couldn’t tear my focus from Alyssa, who was dressed in an expensive knee-length burgundy dress Mia had given her.
When she looked in my direction, a smile emerged on her face, the sun in my world rising.
I wanted to steal her away from this scene, hear what she thought in detail. Had I truly mastered all the steps?
The dance had felt incredible, but I needed to know what she thought.
Other guests divided her attention, probably heaping praise on her, maybe offering her jobs.
If those weren’t coming now, I imagined they would be lining up to hire her once everyone saw how well she’d molded me from a nondancer to someone worthy of sharing center stage with Mia.
Another song blared across the sound system, drawing people’s attention back to the bar, to the dance floor. I checked my watch. Eleven hours . My chest tightened like a vise.
Alyssa waded through the crowd, and when she got close enough, she jumped into my arms, and I held her tight for a moment, relishing the way her body fit against mine.
“You were amazing. I don’t even—I can’t even tell you how incredible it was to watch you and Mia dance so well.”
“Really?” I framed her face, trying to decide if she was just saying that or if she meant it. Sincerity oozed out of her .
“You didn’t feel it? When I dance well, I know it. There’s an energy and an ease you can’t fake. Like the song could go on forever.” She searched my face. “Like all good things—you never want it to end.”
I ducked down, kissed her cheek, and then said, “That’s exactly how I feel.”
Her arms circled my neck. “Come dance with me.”
“Out there?” I pointed at the dance floor.
“You know all the moves. Now, you just mix them up. I’ll follow wherever you lead.”
“Wherever I lead?” I raised an eyebrow.
“Anywhere.” She took my hand and led me onto the dance floor.
Nerves shot through me again. So many people were still watching. I took a deep breath and blew it out.
Alyssa closed the space between us and rose on her toes. “Pretend it’s just us in the room. None of this matters anymore—just you and me. Let’s have fun. Enjoy the moment.” The words we don’t get more hung in the air between us.
“Okay,” I said. “I can do that.”
She stepped back from me, our hands clasped. It took a moment to catch the beat of the song playing, but once we did, we were off.
I laughed as I twirled her around, her skirt spinning around her thighs.
Months ago, when Mia had proposed the dance with Alyssa’s help, I’d had no idea dancing would make me so happy.
Or maybe dancing wasn’t the key to this cloud of euphoria.
Maybe the crucial component was the woman who was dancing with me.
***
Just before my head hit the pillow in Alyssa’s room, I checked the clock .
Five hours.
I’d spent the last hour dealing with a belligerent hotel guest who hadn’t understood why she couldn’t just join the party.
All-inclusive resorts were great until a guest had one too many drinks and thought the hotel had to fulfill their every desire, including crashing Mia Malone and Tyler Sullivan’s wedding.
The whole time I’d been working with staff to remove the woman from the party, I’d been thinking about Alyssa, who’d gone back to our rooms to wait.
A minute or two was all I’d expected to spend convincing the woman to leave, but she’d dug in her heels, and when her boyfriend had appeared, threatening violence to anyone who tried to remove him or his girlfriend, I’d had to become more diplomatic and bring in backup in the form of hotel security.
Fortunately, Mia and Tyler had stayed away from the scuffle in the corner of the ballroom. People who broke the rules shouldn’t be rewarded.
I curled around Alyssa’s sleeping form and wrapped my arm around her waist. She sighed and pressed closer. But when breaking the rules led to this, who could blame someone?
“You’re back,” she breathed, turning in my arms to snuggle closer.
“Sorry it took so long.”
“Not your fault.” She kissed my chest and slid her hand under the waist of my boxer-briefs. “I had fun tonight.”
I hissed when her hand gripped my length and gave it long, leisurely strokes, warming me up. I closed my eyes and let the pleasure infiltrate my body. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I rolled us until I was on top of her, settling between her legs .
From underneath me, she chuckled. “Oh, it’s like that, is it?” she asked, her tone teasing.
I stared down at her, in no mood to joke around. Five hours . In five hours, I’d lose her. “How do you want it?” My voice was husky.
“Any way. As long as it’s you. Any way.”
Words I’d never spoken in English got stuck in my throat. If I didn’t have a plan, if I wasn’t sure we could work out beyond tomorrow, I couldn’t say them. But the words pulsed between us, unsaid, electrifying the room. Did she feel the same?
Saying the words would seal our fate. I’d do anything to keep us together if she loved me back. Having lost love once, I wouldn’t be able to abandon it a second time if I knew the feeling was real.
The air around us was heavy, weighed down by what we couldn’t or wouldn’t say. Alyssa had told me once that long-distance relationships became recipes for cheating and heartbreak. My gut clenched. I’d had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime.
Alyssa put her hands on either side of my face and offered me a soft smile. “No need to overthink it. We’ve got all night.”
Fewer than five hours. Almost no time at all when you wanted a lifetime. Instead, I kissed her and let our bodies lead the way.