Chapter 20 Eyes Everywhere
A purple sticky note on the bedroom window catches my attention after I climb over the railing, the motions second nature now that I’ve been doing this for the last two weeks.
Bad idea, Ren. This is a bad idea.
The words are hollow, gliding off my thoughts like Teflon.
It’s an addiction now. A full-blown one, and I’d be delusional if I denied it anymore.
The Benefaction looms before me like a timer counting down until a bomb explodes.
The Syndicate hasn’t made progress on the key.
Which means at The Benefaction Aria will find out who I am and what I do. She’ll know she’s been my mark all along. She’ll learn not only was I sent to get a key from her, but that I’m supposed to kill her afterward.
And if fate wants to play dirty with me, which it probably will, given the whole concept of karma, she’ll discover I have Blake’s heart.
She’ll feel betrayed.
And she doesn’t even know the half of it.
Fucked up. It’s all fucked up.
And yet, like an addict, I’m desperate for these last moments with her. These moments when she still smiles at me, still tells me her private thoughts.
Then there are the kisses—the fucking hot kisses that give me a raging hard-on throughout the day.
I peel off the sticky note from the window, my heart jumping in my chest, a smile curving my lips.
Reaper,
I adjusted the chessboard.
We need to even the scales.
Life might not be fair, but in chess, it better be.
Aria
With bated breath, I kneel and examine the current chess game, quickly spotting the anomaly.
The crystal pieces are lit up with dim yellow LED lights. Not bright enough to reveal anything else in the room, but enough for her to see the board and the pieces. She’s taken down my knight, which is set aside with another sticky note on top.
Scholar’s Mate, huh? Beginner chess move. You distracted me before.
Let’s see how you do now.
I grin.
Devious little nurse—drumming up light in the dark.
I’d be a fool to underestimate her.
Quietly, I remove my jacket and unholster my gun before setting it on the basket atop her dresser—the vixen has even set aside a special place for me to put my stuff.
“It’s dark. I can’t see anything. Don’t want to grab your things by mistake,” she told me last time.
Something twisted inside me then.
I have a place at the Kong siheyuan, but it’s never been mine. Just a place for them to keep track of me.
But this little wicker basket?
This is mine.
Quietly, I make my way to her bedside again, my heart lurching when I spot her sleeping on her side, her sleepwear—a silky, strappy gown this time, damn what I wouldn’t give to see what color it is—draping over her luscious body.
The perfect handfuls of her tits, the full curves of her ass.
My dick hardens, and I tug her blankets back up to hide the temptation.
“Don’t go,” she mumbles, her fingers tangling with mine the moment they reach her bare shoulder.
I freeze and try to let go, but she pulls tighter.
“Need you.” Another whisper.
Aria lets out a wispy moan, the sound pulling a drop of pre-cum from my dick, and I swallow a groan, letting her yank me down to the bed, knowing I’m going to need to beat off three more times to ease the pain of unsatisfied arousal.
God knows I was hard for a fucking week after our first chess game when our kiss burned out of control.
Aria burrows into my chest, her tight, hot body lighting me up from within.
“Aria?” My voice is hoarse.
She doesn’t answer. Instead, soft puffs of air skitter over my neck.
She’s still asleep.
My muscles are tense, so tense they’re ready to snap at any second. I need to get out of bed before something happens—
She throws her thigh over my waist and bears down.
I hiss when my cock comes into contact with her warm pussy through our clothes. The thin layer of sweatpants does little to hide her heat.
She moans again—the sound lusty, tempting—and she shifts, her breathing quickening, her body restless.
Unintelligible words tumble out of her mouth. Whimpers. Sighs. Moans.
My cock leaks, and I grip her back, unable to stop her, not wanting to stop her.
My fingers dig into the sheets.
Get out of the bed. Now.
Christ.
Her hips hasten their rhythm. The whimpers turn louder, more frustrated. She plasters her body against my chest now, rubbing those tits over me, her hard nipples scraping over the scar covered by my thin T-shirt.
Pleasure shoots into my veins, molten and heady, my mind dissolving as I grab onto her hips and help her ride that tight little pussy over my cock.
She’s panting now, whimpers turning into moans. A dampness spreads on my crotch.
Fuck, she’s wet. She’s dripping all over me.
I want to taste her so badly my jaw aches.
Sparks surge at the base of my spine, but I force myself to hold on, to get her there even if she’s still sleeping. As her body tightens, my cock threatening to detonate, I slap her supple ass, the sound echoing in the dark room.
She cries out, her body thrashing, and an orgasm washes over her.
“Oh my God, yes!” Her voice is heaven in my ears.
Then she stills. A sharp gasp.
“What—what did I?” she whispers, seemingly shocked.
A tortured groan rips from my larynx as I release her, yanked back from the edge.
“R-Reaper?”
I grunt, my skin still on fire, my cock throbbing to the point of excruciation.
“I did this?”
Another grunt.
Words perch at the tip of my tongue, but I can’t speak. I can’t tell her if this is what death is like, I want to die a thousand times.
Soft hands slide down my body, then her hand curls around my aching cock.
I bolt up in bed, tugging her up.
“Y-You need help,” she says, giving my cock a little squeeze.
Wetness drips out and I groan, loud and guttural.
I need to think. Stop this. Bad idea. Fuck, this is a horrible idea.
With inhuman strength, I pull her hand away.
“Stop,” I rasp, “before I lose control and fuck you so hard, you’ll crave my dick inside you more than you need your next breath.”
Another startled gasp tumbles from her.
“I need a moment. Please.” Deep breaths in, then out. Again.
Tension sits heavy, like a third person in the room. Her sweet scent of honey and cotton wafts through the air, made even more tantalizing with the smell of her arousal.
Hunger carves deep into my gut.
“I can’t believe I did that,” she whispers. The blankets shift, and I hear the soft thump of her feet hitting the bedroom floor. “Why was that so hot?”
“What’s hot? Using me?” Only a masochist would ask more questions.
Another beat of silence.
“I like it.” The words are even softer now. Her hands fly to her cheeks as if she’s embarrassed. “Feeling. Not in control. Waking up to this. What’s wrong with me?”
Kill me now. My little nurse has a somno kink.
And I want to fulfill every single fantasy.
“Your life is full of control,” I rasp, my fingers finally strong enough to trail down her back. She shivers. “At night, in the dark. That’s when you can give in.”
She seems to absorb this as she sits at the edge of the bed, back facing me.
“You make me feel safe,” she confesses. “I don’t know why.”
“I’m the last person you should feel safe with.”
“You’ll never hurt me,” she says earnestly.
I’m the motherfucker who will hurt you the most.
“No,” I rasp. “I’ll never hurt you in the dark.”
“Is it…crazy that I want this again?” Slowly, she turns around, her large eyes staring at me even though she can’t see me. “With you?”
My biceps scream in pain, and it’s then I realize I have the blankets fisted so tightly in my grip, I can probably tear a hole in them.
“You want me to touch you, take you in your sleep?” My voice is gritty. My control is frayed and ready to snap.
“Y-Yes.” She hitches a sharp breath, like she’s surprised at herself. “Yes, I want that. Will you?”
My cock leaps, the urge to bury myself inside her so strong I can barely think straight.
“You can say stop at any time. Awake, asleep. Any time.” That’s all I can manage before I leap off the bed, heading straight for the chessboard.
Strategy. Moves. Conversations when the world’s asleep.
Focus.
She must’ve heard me because she’s sitting down moments later, her hand patting the window, then the floor, before she settles into her spot.
“It’s wrong. All of this,” she says, “me letting you in here, knowing you’re the guy who put those people in the ER. Me not fearing you. Me playing chess, telling you things, and then…”
Her voice trails off, but I know what she wants to say.
The physical tension is unreal between us. As an assassin, I’m known for my ability to control all parts of me, to lock down my thoughts, emotions, to control my heart rate and breathing.
That all vanishes around her.
“Don’t change who you are,” I respond, picking up the knight on the floor, grazing its rough edges. “All of you. The nurse. The friend. The good girl. The vixen in the dark.”
You’re my gongzhu. Princess in Chinese. For the lonely prince in my favorite book.
I swallow and set the piece down. “Be true to yourself.”
You’re perfect—all your bruises, your scars, all of you—just the way you are.
When she doesn’t answer me, I look up, finding her eyes glistening with tears.
“Don’t cry,” I murmur, my body cooling at the sight of her sadness. I wipe her tears away, and she leans into my touch.
“Why do I feel this way with you? I don’t know you.”
I don’t answer her. Instead, I say, “You can have this too…in the daylight. Acceptance. Conversation.”
“Just not with you?”
“No.”
Pain ripples through the scar on my chest. Someone like me doesn’t deserve someone like her.
Karma.
Life wouldn’t be fair otherwise.
“Why?” she asks. Her hand finds mine in the dark. I release it, but she holds on.
“Reasons that don’t concern you.”
Her mouth opens like she wants to argue, but I see the moment she realizes she won’t win. That she deserves more than someone who can only meet her in the dark.
“If you could,” she sets her piece on the board and says, “what would you do? If those reasons went away.”
My hand trembles, and I fist it on my lap. Against all common sense, I let my mind drift off.
Away from the darkness, the reality.