Chapter 20 | Alexis
Alexis
Several days passed, and I continued to monitor the dark web for suspicious activity while also tracking cryptocurrency flow between wallets that seemed suspicious.
I knew I should be spending my time on updating my resume so I could get a “real” job, but I actually enjoyed the cyber-monitoring more.
Something about it made me feel like a spy, and I enjoyed helping Michael, especially with the shit show I’d caused with the flash drive in the first place.
One afternoon, as I sat in the study Michael had assigned as my temporary office, I was filtering through a dark web crypto forum when I heard two deep voices in the hallway. Hearing Nick’s name, my ears perked.
“Did you see Scarlett last night?” Enzo asked, his voice deeper than Joaquin’s. “She’s single now. You should hit that.”
“Nick’s got that covered,” Joaquin said. “They used to be together, and they looked cozy at the Gilded Cage last night.”
My eyebrows drew together. Was Nick sleeping with someone? No wonder he’d disappeared. Had he really spent all that time with me...and touched me with such reverence...knowing he’d planned to return to someone else? Anger surged up my spine as I strained to listen.
“I don’t know,” Enzo said, his voice carrying down the hallway as they waited for Michael outside his office. “Nick’s been weird since he got back. I think getting snatched with Alexis fucked with his head. I’m not sure he’s into Scar, but maybe. Who knows?”
“Hey, guys,” Michael said, opening his office door. “Sorry. I was on the phone updating Sal on some of the intel Alexis gave me. Come in. I want to talk about...”
His voice trailed off as his office door closed, and I sat back in my chair, crossing my arms over my chest.
“That son of a bitch!” I hissed. How dare he actually pretend to care about me and then come home and fuck someone else? A hot erotic dancer, no less? How in the hell was I supposed to compete with that?
Tears stung my eyes as I struggled with deep emotion. My brain couldn’t fathom that he’d felt nothing during our time together. Was he just going to ignore me forever and act like everything between us didn’t happen?
“Fuck that,” I said, rising and closing my laptop. Heading upstairs, I took a shower, making sure to shave all the appropriate parts so they were extra silky smooth.
Unfortunately, I didn’t own anything sexy since that wasn’t really my vibe.
But I did have lots of tight yoga pants, and I’d noticed Nick ogling my ass quite often when we’d been sequestered together.
I searched in my drawer for my tightest pair of yoga pants before donning a push-up bra that lifted my breasts higher than Mt. Everest.
After tugging a tight tank top over the bra, I gazed in the mirror. I probably wasn’t as hot as Scarlett, but hell, it would have to do. Striding to my window, I saw that Nick’s kitchen light was on.
“Good, you’re home. Get ready, because you’re done ignoring me, buddy.”
I tugged on my Uggs and tossed on a coat before quietly descending the stairs. The last thing I needed was for my mom to hear me on my way to confront the man I was pretty sure I was in love with.
I rushed through the kitchen, thankful Leticia and Carmen weren’t in there cooking.
Opening the back door, I headed into the back yard, shivering at the cold.
It was dusk, and I knew this was the time to catch Nick before he headed back out to the club later.
My boots crunched the cold grass as I stomped toward his back door.
Once I reached it, I rapped on the glass as I waited for him to appear.
He strode into the kitchen, his eyebrows drawing together when he saw me. He was shirtless above gray sweatpants, and I told myself to remain strong. Wanting to lick his pecs wasn’t going to me any favors if I was going to give him hell.
Feeling like an idiot, I knocked on the glass again several times.
He yanked the door open and scowled. “What the fuck? Are you trying to break the glass?”
“Sure, I’d love to come in,” I said sarcastically, breezing past him before he could stop me. “How gracious of you.”
He released a heavy breath and shut the door. Turning, he faced me as I planted my hands on my hips.
“Well?” I asked, tapping my foot. “Should you start, or should I?”
His expression was laced with confusion. “Start what, exactly?”
“Don’t you ‘exactly’ me, mister.” I made quotation marks with my fingers before pivoting and heading into what I hoped was his living room. Sure enough, I found a large room filled with a huge L-shaped couch and a fireplace with a large flat-screen TV mounted above.
I picked up the remote on the coffee table and clicked off the TV before tossing the remote on the couch. Turning, I observed him enter the room.
“I was watching that,” he muttered.
“Why are you ignoring me?”
Sighing, he closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “Can we do this another time? I was at the docks in Bayonne at six a.m., and I have to be at the Gilded Cage at eight. This is my only downtime today.”
“So, you’re a bouncer now?” I asked, lifting my eyebrows. “Or maybe the new head of security at the club? Is this what Michael has you doing?”
His eyes narrowed. “It was my idea. We’re worried that Oskar Poska isn’t going to be happy about Michael shutting down the last of your father’s trafficking business from Eastern Europe.
I want to keep an eye on things, especially at Michael’s clubs where a lot of formerly trafficked women work. They could be targets for him.”
I unzipped my coat and tugged it off, tossing it on the couch before crossing my arms again. Nick’s eyes lowered to my cleavage before reclaiming my gaze. He remained silent, which somehow infuriated me more.
“Maybe you just want to keep an eye on Scarlett,” I said, unable to keep the blatant jealousy out of my tone.
His eyes grew wide. “How do you know that name?”
“Oh, I have my ways.”
He stared at me for a moment before his lips slowly curved.
My mouth fell open. “Are you...laughing at me?”
Nick pursed his lips as he shook his head. “Nope.”
“You are!” I tugged off one of my Uggs and tossed it at his head before doing the same with the other one.
“Hey!” he said, blocking both of my boots with his arms. “What the hell, Alexis?”
I clenched my fists as equal parts anger and heartache raged in my chest. “Why are you avoiding me? Didn’t it mean...” I trailed off as I struggled not to cry. “Didn’t it mean anything to you?”
“Don’t do that,” he said, his face contorting with regret as he slowly approached me. “Please, sweetheart,” he whispered, closing the distance between us and cupping my cheeks. “Don’t cry. I wasn’t laughing at you.”
“Yes, you were,” I said, sniffling as he grinned.
“I wasn’t. You’re just so cute right now, and it made me smile...”
“I’m not cute,” I said, lifting my chin. “I’m sexy and hot...and whatever else Scarlett and all the other dancers are. I can be like that if you want me to be.”
He gazed at me reverently, his thumbs caressing my cheeks as he shook his head. “I don’t want you to be anyone but you.”
My throat clogged with emotion as I struggled to speak. “Why are you ignoring me? What did I do?”
His warm breath washed over my face as he studied me, his expression becoming more serious. “You didn’t do anything. I’m trying to do what’s best for you.”
Anger welled in my chest as I pulled away. “Excuse me, but I can decide what’s best for my own damn life, thank you very much.”
Sighing, he looked toward the ceiling and muttered, “Lord, give me strength.”
“Oh, the lord’s not here right now,” I said with thinly veiled sarcasm.
“Just you and me, and you’re done hiding.
” I inhaled a deep breath to release some of the anger, forcing my shoulders to relax.
“I miss seeing you,” I said, annoyed that I sounded like a lovesick teenager, but unable to hide the emotion in my voice.
“I got used to being around you, and then you were just...gone.”
He rubbed his arm, looking contrite as he studied me. “I felt a clean break was best. We became...attached...and that’s not conducive to you moving on and building the life you want.”
My lips curved. “Did you become attached to me?”
He shot me a droll look. “Of course, I did.”
I gnawed my lip as we warily assessed each other. “I don’t want to be separated from you. You’re one of the only people I actually like being with.”
Breathing a laugh, he nodded. “Same here. But it’s not smart since we have no future. I’d rather rip the band-aid off rather than drag it out.”
“Oh, so you just get to decide everything, hmm?”
“Not everything, but this...” He ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t want to make it harder to let you go. I’m trying not to be a selfish bastard.”
It wasn’t Shakespeare, but the words were heartfelt, proving he at least felt something.
“And why can’t we be together?” I asked softly.
“Alexis,” he said, his voice tinged with frustration.
“What?” I lifted my arms. “I’m just asking.”
“You’re too young for me,” he said, ticking a finger.
“I’m a fully-grown adult—”
“You want out of my world,” he continued, ignoring my protest, “and I want that for you too. You don’t belong in this world of death and drugs and trafficking. You deserve better.”
“I was born into this world, just like you were,” I said, arching an eyebrow. “And if I leave, I’ll do it on my terms.”
“Of course, you will. That’s what I want you to do.”
“Go on. You were on a roll. What else?”
His lips twitched.
“Don’t you dare call me cute again,” I said, knowing that’s what he was thinking. “What else?”
“Being with me is dangerous,” he said, tilting his head as his tone turned serious. “Anyone I have feelings for is a target, and I’d never put you in that position.”
I swallowed thickly, taken by his tone when he’d said the word feelings.
“Is that all?” I asked.
Releasing a breath, he nodded. “Yes. Those are all very important reasons why this can’t happen.”
“Mmm.” I flattened my lips as I pondered. “I can see you’ve thought about this.”
“I have. It’s hard to do what you know is right sometimes, but that’s what I’m trying to do.”
“That’s very valiant of you.” Reaching for the bottom of my tank top, I gripped the hem and drew it off before throwing it on the couch.
“Alexis...” he warned.
Locking my gaze with his, I reached behind my back and unclasped my bra. I pulled it off, hearing his quick gasp as my breasts hung free. My nipples puckered in the open air, and my pulse thickened at the hunger that sparked in his deep brown eyes.
I slowly approached him, gliding my arms around his waist and pressing my breasts against his bare chest. He inhaled a sharp breath as his hands cupped my shoulders.
“Alexis...”
“Cutting me off is not the right way to protect me, or whatever you’re trying to do,” I said, gliding my palms up his chest before twining my fingers behind his neck.
“We do have obstacles to face; I won’t argue that.
” I dug my nails into his neck, thrilled when he hissed in reaction.
“But I’m not going to let you push me away. ”
His hands slid up my neck, his fingers threading in my hair as he tilted my head. Pressing his forehead to mine, he gazed into my eyes. “I can’t give you the future you deserve, princess. Don’t make me the asshole. I want to do right by you.”
“Then don’t be the asshole,” I said, grinning as I nudged his nose with mine. “We almost died, Nick. Life is so fucking precious, and we might not have a future. Who knows?”
His eyes darted between mine as he remained silent.
“One lesson I learned from the past few months is to savor the moment and not squander happiness when it comes your way.” Rising to my toes, I brushed his lips with mine. “You make me happy. Well, when you’re not ignoring me.”
He breathed a laugh. “You make me so damn happy,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “And that makes me feel like a selfish jerk.”
“Why?” My nails caressed his nape as our hearts beat in tandem beneath our warm skin. “We both know what it’s like to be lonely. Maybe it’s time we learn the opposite of that. Maybe that’s why the universe threw us together.”
“You’re so young,” he said, indecision lacing his features. “I want you to wait for someone who’s a better fit. Someone outside of our world.”
“No, you don’t,” I said, feeling his rapidly-hardening cock against my abdomen and the way his heart pounded against mine.
His fingers tightened in my hair. “Your first time should be with someone meaningful, sweetheart,” he rasped, his lips brushing mine in a feather-soft kiss.
“I know.” I pushed against his erection. “Why do you think I came here? I’m not asking to play Uno.”
“What are you asking?” he growled, tugging my head back farther. “I need the words, Alexis. And God help me, if you give them to me, I’m not going to stop.”
“For a man with so much common sense, you really are quite daft,” I teased. “Nick, I’m asking you to fuck me. And we both know you’re going to say yes, so let’s just move to that part. I’m ready.”
He released a ragged breath. “Are you sure?” His fingers caressed my jaw before he ran his thumb over my lip. He pinched my bottom lip, drawing it down slightly before licking the inside. God, it was so hot, feeling his tongue rim the inside of my mouth.
“Yes.” I bit his lip, drawing it between my teeth as he grunted.
“Jesus, you’re so fucking sexy.” Gliding his palms down my back, he cupped my ass and lifted me. My legs wrapped around his waist as he held me, nibbling my lips as he gazed into my eyes.
“Last chance,” he said, slowly walking toward the stairs. “Once I have you naked, I’m not going to stop, princess.”
“Well, that’s a promise I’ll hold you to,” I said, feeling free for the first time since we’d returned home. “Make love to me, Nick. Please.”
He started up the stairs, mumbling something about how he was going to burn in hell and he didn’t give a damn. Holding on for dear life, I buried my face against his neck, thrilled to be in his arms once again.