20 GUILTY PLEASURES #2
She smiled faintly. “It’s partly why I was so eager to regain my former rank. I wanted to feel like I was making an impact. The Principalities oversee all the Third Sphere angels, and I suppose it gave me an inflated sense of importance.”
He frowned at the use of past tense when she spoke about her goals. When she’d first come to him, she’d acted like time was of the essence and nothing could be of greater priority.
If he were a better person, he’d probably have said something encouraging her not to give up on her hopes of making a difference. But he wasn’t a better person, and he didn’t know anything about helping people. He didn’t particularly care about it either.
She smiled, though it seemed forced. “Shall we go meet your friend Luna?”
He nodded, but as he led her down the next row of kennels, he still felt uneasy. Something was niggling at his consciousness, and he couldn’t get over the feeling that he was missing something big.
Luna’s kennel was at the very end of the last row, where there were fewer dogs around, since she was so scared of everything. When they reached it, she was cowering at the back, tail between her legs, eyes round and fearful.
When she saw Raum, her head lifted slightly, and her nose twitched as she sniffed the air. Her tail gave the barest flick of greeting, but it stayed down, and she didn’t approach.
“Poor thing,” Sunshine cooed, dropping into a crouch outside the cage. “She’s been hurt, and she doesn’t know who to trust anymore.”
“That’s what I thought too,” Raum said, glancing at her. He opened the cage with Caro’s keys. “I’ll go in first. She knows me.”
Sunshine stood and moved back. Luna looked freaked out when the door was open, but she didn’t cower when Raum went in.
“What do you do to calm them?” Sunshine asked. “She doesn’t want to trust anyone.”
“I usually just sit down.” He slid down the wall and sat with his legs out in front of him. “Then I just wait for a bit.”
Sure enough, after several moments, Luna approached and sniffed his outstretched hands. He rewarded her by holding out a treat, and after several excruciating minutes of sniff and retreat, she finally took it.
Food was always the key to an animal’s heart.
As soon as the dog trusted that he was a safe provider, her entire demeanor changed.
She slunk along the floor, tail wagging low, and tentatively put her head in his lap, blinking at him with big sad eyes.
He scratched behind her ears, and her eyes closed like she’d never felt anything better.
“Perfect,” Sunshine said, and when Raum glanced at her, she was smiling at him.
“I can do what you did,” he blurted. “Make the dogs stop barking.”
She frowned.
“Animals hate demons. But they don’t hate me. Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“You spied on me. You said you knew everything about me. Didn’t you notice? Didn’t you wonder why animals respond to me?”
“I—I guess I just accepted that you were an anomaly. I didn’t think much of it.”
“I haven’t always been like this. I don’t know why I am now or what changed.”
“I don’t know either. I’m sorry.”
He looked back at Luna, who was gingerly climbing onto his lap. She curled up and lay with her head on his knees. He didn’t know why this suddenly mattered so much. He’d gone over four centuries without knowing what had happened to him, so why was he so worked up about it now?
He glanced at Sunshine. And why did he think she knew something about it?
“Did you ever see me before you found us with Dan?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I had no idea who you were. I knew as soon as I saw you that you weren’t human, but I didn’t recognize you.” Her gaze wandered away. “I did feel a certain …” She shook her head. “But no, I didn’t recognize you.”
“Felt a certain what?”
She stared at him a moment before responding. “I was attracted to you.”
He wasn’t sure what to say to that.
“To be honest … I think that’s why I approached you for our bargain. I made a list of very logical reasons why you were my best choice, but I think they were just excuses.”
She offered a sheepish smile, but he didn’t return it. He just stared at her.
“Can I come sit down?”
He nodded. Luna lifted her head and then laid it back down again, which was as good as a nod from her. Sunshine entered the kennel and sat next to Raum, back against the wall, legs stretched out. Their legs pressed together on one side, and she tipped her foot to bump against his.
Affectionately? Playfully? That feeling sparked in his chest again.
His demonic nature channeled the warmth into something dark and a bit violent. All he could say for certain was that he would enjoy spilling the blood of anyone that touched her.
Sunshine reached over so Luna could sniff her hand. “Hi, sweetheart,” she said, and Luna’s tail wagged. “You’re such a good girl.”
Raum smiled inwardly. Luna wasn’t the only good girl.
They took Luna for a walk. According to Raum, it was the first time the poor creature had been out of her kennel since she’d arrived. Apparently, she’d been too frightened by the leash and wouldn’t let anyone close enough.
Sunshine walked beside the demon and the little pit bull who was afraid of her own shadow, and she felt a certain lightness in her stomach. Like she was flying, though her wings remained hidden.
She couldn’t stop sneaking glances at Raum. The way he glared at the world as if it personally offended him, while still going out of his way to help a frightened animal …
How could she resist such a man?
Angels were not ignorant of human relationships or romantic entanglements. She recognized the butterflies in her stomach and the warmth in her chest for what they were, though she wasn’t entirely sure what to do about it.
She’d given Raum control of her body and hadn’t suffered a moment’s regret. Rather, she lamented that they had not done more. The images from her erotic dream still haunted her. What would it feel like for him to enter her in his scaled form?
And how wrong was it for her to crave such a thing?
Terribly wrong. Beyond forbidden.
It didn’t stop the desire.
As they headed back toward the shelter, poor Luna began to get nervous. It was obvious she hated the kennel, and it struck Sunshine as terribly sad that there was no better way to help the unwanted animals.
Surely out of all the people on Earth, there was someone who would care for these abandoned creatures? Surely someone wanted to love them?
Yet another injustice of this world, she supposed. It was why most angels preferred to disassociate themselves from humans and minimize contact. There was always strife. Unwanted pets were nothing compared to war zones and lost children.
Yet after spending the day ensuring one small dog lived a better life than she otherwise would have, Sunshine had to wonder …
was turning their backs on Earth truly the best way?
Yes, humans had free will and angels couldn’t force them to change, but wouldn’t an angel’s life be better spent influencing them to be good, even in a small way?
How was she fulfilling her duty by turning away from suffering just because she couldn’t swoop in like a god and eliminate it?
“You’re thinking so loud I can almost hear it,” Raum muttered, glancing at her sidelong.
She scoffed, but it turned into a smile when their gazes met. She couldn’t stop smiling whenever she looked at him.
“Something on your mind?” he asked as they climbed the accessibility ramp to the front door rather than taking the steps.
She halted with her hand on the door handle. “Can we take Luna with us? She’s so frightened of the kennel. Look at her—she’s trembling already.”
Raum glanced down. Luna’s tail wagged, but her body did indeed shake.
“I have to go visit my brothers,” Raum said. “I think she’d be more afraid there than here.”
“I’ll take her, then.”
His eyes looked sad when their gazes met again. “You have to go back to Heaven, Sunshine. You got your book, remember?”
She swallowed. I can’t keep lying to him. It wasn’t fair, especially after everything they’d been through and how hard she’d worked to gain his trust.
But telling him would bring this little dream to an end.
“Well … I don’t have to go just yet.” She smiled while her stomach churned with guilt.
He searched her gaze. She would have given anything to know what he was thinking. So many secrets still between us. They stood outside the door in silence for another minute or so, Luna looking between them like she didn’t understand what the holdup was.
“Can you teleport with a dog?” Raum finally asked.
Sunshine nodded.
“All right. We’ll take her. But I have to bring her back eventually. We’re only delaying the inevitable.”
She bounced on the balls of her feet. “Thank you!”
Picking up on her excitement, Luna’s tail wagged and she forgot to tremble in fright for several moments. Raum shook his head, turning to open the door, but Sunshine didn’t miss the hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth.
The butterflies started up all over again.