Chapter 7
Two hours later, even Nyx’s depressed tastebuds could admit she’d consumed some of the best food in her life.
She was also tipsy off two drinks, because she pretty much never drank anymore, which meant her alcohol tolerance was absolute shit.
Her mind was pleasantly hazy to the point she wasn’t really thinking about anything, and somewhere in the back of it little alarm bells were going off, telling her that this feeling was why people started drinking and then started drinking too much.
But that wasn’t likely to happen with her.
She didn’t drink at the Station or in Earth Between, because she was constantly terrified something would happen and she would need to have her wits about her.
Maybe it was paranoia, maybe it was rooted in the reality of possessing something the All Council very much wanted back, but she realized that while she felt safe in the Station, that safety felt tenuous due to its connection to the rest of the universe.
Being in Dead Earth, most of a continent away from the planet’s ley line connection, was the first time she’d felt like nothing bad was likely to happen to her or her friends unexpectedly.
Yes, they were searching for someone who could be dangerous, but that person didn’t know they were looking for them.
Tristen Veld wouldn’t be a threat to them until they located and approached him. For now, everything was…okay.
Tension she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying eased off her shoulders.
Between that and the pleasant hum of alcohol in her veins, she didn’t pay much attention to where they were going as she followed Evra and Morgen out of the restaurant.
She wandered along in the middle of their group, following where they led, Kaden at her back, and just…
drifted. Taking in the sights and sounds of the city at night, she almost understood why some people loved places like this.
There was a kind of nebulous possibility in being surrounded by so many people.
She supposed that if you were looking for something, this was the kind of place that made you feel like you might be able to find it.
The thumping sounds of a nightclub drew near, people lined up in the street outside, waiting to get in. It wasn’t until they approached the head of the line and Morgen veered toward the bouncer at the door, a Siren’s gleam in his eye, that Nyx realized he intended to go inside.
She stuttered to a stop. Evra reached back, grabbing her wrist and tugging her forward. “Come on.”
Nyx kept her feet rooted firmly to the pavement. Or tried to. Evra’s “gentle tugs” were a normal person’s forceful yanks. “This is a dance club,” Nyx protested.
“Yes. We will dance and it will be fun.”
A rising sense of pure dread built in Nyx’s chest. “No, you don’t understand, I can’t dance.” She wouldn’t have thought Evra, of all people, would be a dancer. But then dancing was a sport for the confident, and the had confidence in spades.
“Oh.” Evra frowned. “Yes, I suppose with your unconventional upbringing, there would have been little chance to learn. Do not worry, it is an instinctual activity.”
“We can teach you,” Morgen said, having come back to check on the holdup and caught the tail end of the conversation.
“No, I—I don’t think that’s a good idea.
I won’t pick it up and it will just be embarrassing.
” The creeping dread was blossoming into full-blown panic.
She couldn’t quite explain the problem she had with crowds in confined spaces.
She didn’t know if it was a product of growing up so isolated, or if it was just something about her.
Seth had never been likewise bothered, so probably the latter.
But the idea of people crowding her in on all sides in a space designed for interaction, of potentially being pressed against random bodies, made her feel like she was drowning in quicksand.
Evra waved a dismissive hand. “It is too dark and everyone will be too drunk for anything to be embarrassing. No one will even notice you.”
Nyx grasped desperately for another excuse. “I have Alihana,” she objected. “I can’t exactly dance with a sword on my hip.”
“Kaden can keep them,” Morgen offered. “I quit trying to get him to dance years ago. He’ll be at the bar.”
“It is settled then,” Evra tugged her forward and Nyx found her feet moving against her will.
Just tell them the truth. You don’t want to dance and it has nothing to do with inexperience or Alihana, and everything to do with debilitating social anxiety you have no interest in overcoming. But her mouth wouldn’t open.
This was bad. This was so, so bad. She was going to end up in there, where she was going to hyperventilate and pass out, and it would be mortifying and she would have ruined everyone else’s night.
Open your fucking mouth, Nyx. But her mouth seemed to have quit working, either the panic or the alcohol buzz interfering with her verbal control.
Her forward momentum came to an abrupt halt when Kaden’s hands landed on her shoulders, counteracting Evra. Nyx felt like a rag doll pulled between the two of them, but in this one instance, she didn’t mind.
“She doesn’t want to go in there,” Kaden said.
Why did Nyx know she would pass out in that environment? She’d tried it once. Kaden had been there.
Evra’s eyes flashed. “I do not believe it is up to you to decide what she does or does not want to do.”
Nyx finally found her voice. “I don’t want to go.”
Evra looked down at her, the ’s expression shifting as she seemed to register that something was actually wrong. She pulled Nyx away from Kaden and Morgen, where they could talk privately.
“I’m sorry,” Nyx said, “I know you want me to let loose and have fun, and I love you for wanting that for me, but this is not my idea of fun, and if you take me in there I’m probably going to pass out.”
“I see,” Evra said. “I am sorry, I should have realized sooner what you meant.”
“No, I should have just actually said I didn’t want to go.”
“Well, it is no matter. There is no shortage of other things to entertain in a city this size.”
“Evra…”
“You do not want to do anything,” the said flatly.
“I don’t. I’m sorry. I’m glad we went out tonight. I didn’t expect to be, but I am. But I need baby steps. You should go dance with Morgen, because I can tell that you both really want to, but I’m going to go back to the hotel.”
Evra shook her head. “I do not wish to abandon you.”
Nyx smiled at her, and it was genuine. “I know. But I promise I don’t feel abandoned.
I will feel way worse if you don’t go, because then you will be missing out on the New York experience, all because I’m not a social butterfly.
I want you to have fun. Pleeeease promise me you will stay and have fun for me. ”
Evra wavered. “At least let us see you back to the hotel. You should not go alone.”
Nyx arched her eyebrows. “I won’t be alone. You can’t honestly think Kaden is going to lurk at the bar and watch you and Morgen sexy dance.”
Evra hesitated. “Are you sure it is wise to walk with him?”
“What do you mean?”
“I do not trust him.”
Nyx couldn’t hide her surprise. “Look, I know you don’t exactly like him, and stars know I have my own issues with him, but we’re all fighting on the same team, here.”
“That is not what I meant and you are well aware of it.”
Nyx was confused. “No, I really am not.”
Evra’s exasperation came through in her voice. “I do not trust him with you.”
Oh. Evra was thinking of the Calista Event.
“I don’t think the whole stabbing thing is likely to occur again.
Kaliaris has been monitoring his sleep and promised to alert Griff or me if Kaden seems like he’s woken up and isn’t really in control of himself.
They haven’t said anything. Whatever happened to him in Calista, I think he has it under control now.
” Killing Kiev had probably been as cathartic for Kaden as it had been for Nyx.
Evra just stared at her.
“What?” Nyx asked. “Have you noticed something I haven’t?”
The shook her head. “Not in that regard. As you have said, I am sure it will be fine.”
“It will.” She clapped Evra on the shoulder. “So you’ll go dancing now? You’ll have fun?”
It took a little more convincing, but she delivered Evra back to Morgen, then had to have the same argument with him all over again. Her last drink must have had a delayed effect, because by the end of the argument she had to keep reminding herself to focus on the task at hand.
“Finally,” she groaned, once Evra and Morgen had disappeared inside the club and she was left with Kaden. “I wasn’t sure I’d actually convince them to go.” They started walking back to the hotel.
“Why did you?”
She held her arms out at her sides. “I’m a walking black hole of despair. I’ve been sucking the joy out of the two of them for weeks. It’s a relief to know they’re now having fun outside of the reach of my incredible powers of negativity.”
He arched an eyebrow. “You aren’t that depressing.”
She waved her finger at him. “You aren’t the best judge of that. When was the last time you had actual fun?”
He looked as if he was about to actually tell her, then shifted course and said, “According to Morgen, never.”
For some reason, that made her laugh. “Morgen’s fun level is up here”—she held her hand as high above her head as she could manage—“which means the rest of us are waaay down here.” She bent to tap the ground as they walked, lost her balance, and would have gone ass over teakettle if Kaden hadn’t caught her arm and hauled her back upright.
The entire thing seemed incredibly funny, and she was laughing again as she regained her vertical foothold in the world.
Kaden shook his head as he let her go. “You, Nyx Fortuna, are drunk.”
She shook her head, which made the world do interesting things. “Tipsy. I only had two.”
“Three,” he corrected.