Chapter 30
Ryan wasn’t sure if he liked being the reason she was laughing. “I don’t know how to take that. It could be good or not so good.”
“Good.” Her expression sobered, and she touched her palm to his face. “So beautifully wonderful.”
“I’ve always wanted to be someone’s beautifully wonderful.” He leaned down and captured her lips with his. The kiss was gentle at first, a soft exploration of the desire that had been simmering between them since this morning. But soon, it deepened into something more intense, more urgent.
She tangled her fingers in his hair, urging him to take more, so he did.
He forgot about mean men as he lost himself in the touch and taste of Matti.
Somehow and almost magically, their clothes were gone and he was skin to skin with this woman who had slipped in when he wasn’t paying attention and claimed his heart.
It was quite possible she was going to break said heart, but she was worth the risk.
He broke away from her mouth and trailed kisses down her neck to her shoulder and then to where he wanted his tongue…her breasts. He loved her whimpers as he sucked on a nipple. When he moved from the breast he was loving on to the other one, she moaned.
That was what he wanted to hear from her, that throaty moan telling him she liked what he was doing.
He explored his way down her body, learning her curves and angles with his tongue and the softness of her skin with his fingertips.
He took his time making his way to her sex, and when he got there, to that most intimate place of hers, he inhaled the earthy scent of her arousal and tasted the flavor that was uniquely Matti.
He took his time, bringing her to the edge and then retreating, letting her body calm before stirring it up again.
It was a dance, a rhythm that was theirs alone.
Her moans grew louder, her body more insistent, and he knew she was close.
He looked up at her, seeing her head thrown back, her eyes closed, lost in the sensations.
When her body arched and her breaths were fast and shallow, he increased the pressure of his tongue, his fingers digging gently into her thighs. With a final, deliberate stroke of his tongue, he sent her spiraling over the edge.
“Ryan,” she rasped.
His name on her lips as her body convulsed in waves of pleasure spiked the need he already had for her.
When she finally stilled, he pressed a gentle kiss to her inner thigh, then made his way back up her body, his lips tracing the path he had taken down.
He kissed her deeply, telling her without words that she owned his heart.
“Please,” she said when he lifted his head and stared down at her.
She was everything that was beautiful to him. “Please what? Give me the words, Matti.”
“I want you inside me.”
“There’s no other place I’d rather be.” She couldn’t know how much he wanted that, too. Not just today, but all their tomorrows.
There were a few condoms on the nightstand, left over from last night, and he reached for one.
It was hot the way she watched him put it on, that heat in her eyes and the way she sucked her bottom lip in, then bit down on it.
And when he slid inside her, filling her, a sigh of contentment escaped his lips.
I’ve found my home, Matti. This is where I belong.
Her heat and her scent seeped into his skin, becoming a part of him. Fifty years from now, he would be able to recall this moment, would remember her smell, the warmth of her body, and the way desire had darkened her eyes to a midnight blue, turning them dreamy.
Can you love me back, pretty girl? He began to move, a slow rhythm at first, wanting to draw out this moment for as long as possible. Her eyes fluttered closed, long lashes casting shadows on her cheeks, and her hands found their way to his back, her nails lightly grazing his skin.
Her fingers traced the muscles of his back, her touch sending shivers down his spine. She was not just beneath him, but around him, inside him. He could feel her heartbeat, or perhaps it was his own, resonating through their connected bodies.
He tried to make it last, to draw out their pleasure, but her soft gasps and the urgency of her hips meeting his thrusts made it impossible.
He could feel the pressure building, the need for release becoming overwhelming.
He looked into her eyes, saw his own desperation reflected back, and knew she was close, too.
“Matti,” he whispered, and her name sounded like a sacred prayer on his lips.
It was that. Her hands moved from his back to grasp his shoulders, nails biting into his flesh as she clung to him, her body tensing beneath him.
He could feel her tightening around him, her body pulsing with its own urgent need.
The world outside ceased to exist. There was only this room, this bed, this woman.
Her body arched against his, her nails dug harder into his flesh, and when she cried out, he captured her mouth in a fierce kiss, swallowing her cries, and he let go, following her over the edge into blissful oblivion.
He lowered his forehead to hers, their harsh breaths mingling. “I see stars,” he said. “Maybe even touched them.”
“That was…” A last shudder traveled through her. “I don’t even know what that was.”
“Amazing? Incredible? Mind-blowing?”
“Yes, all that and more.”
He rolled over, taking her with him so that she was sprawled across his body. “If I were a Neanderthal, I’d carry you to my lair and never let you go.” He sighed. “Sad that I can’t get away with that these days.”
Her laughter vibrated against his chest. “Probably not a good idea.” She propped her chin on her hand to look at him. “Although, if your lair has a soaking tub, an endless supply of wine, and a big-screen TV to watch hockey on, I might be tempted to let you carry me away.”
“You’re a hockey fan?” He brushed a damp lock of hair away from her face.
“Big-time. I don’t have a favorite NHL team. My favorite college hockey team is the University of North Dakota’s Fighting Hawks. I try to go to their games a few times a year.”
“Guess what.”
“What?”
“I’m a big hockey fan, too. I do, however, have a favorite NHL team, the Chicago Blackhawks.”
“Okay, this is so cool. Mine is the Fighting Hawks and yours is the Blackhawks. Funny, huh?”
“Not at all funny. It’s hawk destiny. The stars are aligned, the man in the moon is smiling down at us, and the sun shining bright on us. You know what all that means?”
“What?”
“That we’re supposed to get married. It’s written in the stars, the moon, and the sun.”
“I think that sun has baked your brain.” She grinned, then the laughter started, and she laughed so hard that she fell off him. “Married? I love how silly you are,” she said between gasps.
It wasn’t silly to him, but he went with it. “Hawks mate for life, so you can’t be checking out other hawks no matter how hawk hot they are.” It was one of the silliest conversations he’d ever had, but her laughter was contagious.
It had never occurred to him to have fun when in bed with a woman, but he liked it. Maybe it was the woman, though. As she settled back against him, he traced idle patterns on her arm, more content than he’d ever been in his life.
“Are we a couple? Can I tell people you’re my girlfriend?” When she didn’t answer, he lifted his head and peered down at her, smiling when he saw she was asleep. “I love you,” he whispered.
They hadn’t slept much last night and a catnap sounded good. He closed his eyes and fell asleep imagining a life with Matti. Sam was also in that picture. He desperately wanted that life he was visualizing, but he didn’t think she did. Losing her was going to hurt.
Matti’s phone buzzed with a text when they were cleaning up the kitchen after having some dinner. “It’s Wyatt,” she said, after reading it. “He wants us to let him in the back door.”
“I’ll let him in.” Ryan dropped the dishcloth on the counter. “Didn’t think we’d see him again today.” He turned off the alarm, then opened the door for Wyatt.
“Wasn’t expecting you. Thought you were going to send one of your people tonight.”
“I was going to send Mac or Simon, but some leads came in that I want them to run down, so you have me until one of them relieves me in a few hours.”
Ryan leaned back against the counter. “Good leads?”
“They appear to be, but I have a suspicion they’re bogus, meant to send us on wild-goose chases. Have to check them out to be sure, though. Anything left over from dinner? I haven’t eaten since that Pop-Tart I had this morning.”
“Nothing left over, but I have some lasagna I can defrost in the microwave,” Matti said.
Wyatt rubbed his stomach. “I’ll take anything you have. Right now it feels like my stomach is eating itself from the inside out.”
Matti took a container out of the freezer. “I know you’re busy, but you need to take care of yourself. You can take twenty minutes to eat lunch.”
“Yeah, yeah. The day got away from me.” Wyatt slid onto a stool at the counter.
While Wyatt ate his dinner, Ryan went into the living room and sat on the couch.
This waiting for something to happen was a bit nerve-racking.
He picked up one of the medical journals he’d brought.
Reading would give him something to do besides pacing.
A few minutes later, he was immersed in an article discussing treatment of children with septic shock.
“I’d like you to reconsider,” Wyatt said, taking a seat on the couch. “Let me get you out of here before—”
“Not happening.” He turned to the next page.
“I could arrest you and put you in jail where you’d be safe.”
“You could, but I’ll tell Sam you’re mean to me and he won’t like you.”
Wyatt laughed. “You play dirty, Doc.”
“For Matti, I’d cover myself in dirt.”
“It’s like that, huh?”
Ryan lifted his gaze to Matti’s brother. “It’s like that.” The respect and acceptance he saw in Wyatt’s eyes gave him some of the confidence he needed because he was stressed out.
What if something went wrong and she got hurt?
His wrist was still in a brace and only painful if he moved it wrong; it was much better than when he’d first hurt it in the fight.
But what if he had to fight again? He wasn’t as strong as he had been before spraining his wrist. Even so, and even though Wyatt or one of his men would be here, he wasn’t leaving Matti’s side.
No one was as invested in her safety as he was.
Yet, as determined as he was to be there for her, he couldn’t shake the feeling of dread that gnawed at his insides, a nagging voice in his head warning him of the dangers that lay ahead.
He knew the risks involved, the kind of people they were up against, but he also knew that he couldn’t let fear dictate his actions. Not if he wanted to protect Matti.