Chapter 25
WEIGHT OF THE WORLD
Her first night alone in her new place.
It was cold. Eerie. Not the calm environment she was coming to love and appreciate.
Maybe she should have told Gracie she couldn’t stay at her grandparents’ tonight, but they’d wanted some time with their grandchild now that Arden had moved further away. To give her a break that she often needed but rarely took.
She was in town for the visitation anyway. Her parents would return her daughter to her tomorrow morning.
Canceling on them would draw questions.
Answers she didn’t want to give. No one else needed to know what was going on in her life.
Hell, she didn’t even want to know what was going on, but she couldn’t avoid it.
The sudden loud bang had her jerking upright and felt as if it was rattling her windows, making her look around the living room, the blanket she had wrapped around her no longer soothing as she gripped it tighter almost choking her.
There was nothing and no one but herself that she could see. Just her deep rapid breaths and her heart pounding in her ears as if it was a drum set going off for a long solo.
She looked out the blinds that were now constantly closed, but saw nothing more than a gray car driving down the road at a normal speed.
Settling back onto the couch, she picked the remote up and flipped through channels. The house creaked. The fridge hummed. Every small sound clawed at her nerves.
Gracie would be sleeping by now, she was sure, while she’d be wishing the night away faster to be with her daughter again.
The tapping in the kitchen had her jolting again, standing, and creeping closer to look around the corner, her blanket still gripped around her like a cape she hoped to hide under. As if throwing it over her head would cause the world to fade away.
Against the glass door was a bird flying around, its wings almost flapping into the glass, then moving off.
What. The. Hell. Why tonight of all nights was she hearing everything like this? Every noise magnified as if a whisper in her ear telling her that nothing would ever be the same again.
Not what she needed when her nerves were stretched thin with unanswered questions as to who or why this was happening to her.
Billy’s voice from earlier still replayed in her mind, his anger, his denials. It’s not me. Give me a break.
But she’d seen his eyes when he came for Gracie. The control behind the calm. The heat simmering underneath. He’d put on a good face for their daughter, but the seething under the surface, it was still there, never completely gone as much as he’d said he’d changed.
Enough that her skin itched and crawled like it did when he was in a drunken rage.
Julie hadn’t been thrilled with the turn of events, but with no proof of who was doing it, Arden couldn’t cancel the visitations and left to kill time on her own, trying not to remember two weeks prior when she got her first kiss from Blaze.
One of many stolen embraces and the wrapping of comfort around her that had kept her up at night. Not in a horrible way... for once in her life.
When the second bang came, she grabbed her phone, almost fumbling it with the trembling of her hands and the sweat slicking her palms. Without thinking, she sent a text to Blaze. Are you home? I keep hearing something.
She didn’t want to call if he was still working and worry him. A text—he’d ignore that on the job.
She saw the bubbles come up on the screen. I’m on my way. Back door.
She moved into the kitchen, standing by the sliding doors, waiting for his body to appear, her knees rattling with every creek and whisper of sound that had seemed normal before.
Once his shadow from the sunset crossed over, she flipped the latch to unlock it, then launched into his arms.
“Whoa,” he said, holding her tight, squeezing her as much for comfort as it was protection. “You’re trembling. What’s going on?”
The bang again, her body tensing. “Did you hear it?”
“Yeah.” He moved out of her embrace, and the silver glint of the gun came out from behind his back... where she’d seen it tucked on him before. “Stay behind me.”
The command was quiet but firm. A protector’s voice.
And in that moment, as the night closed in again around them, she realized just how far her fear had driven her right into the arms of the only man she truly trusted.
He moved through the living room, her staying where she was as if concrete were setting at her feet. The noise came again, and he looked out the blinds. Unlocking the front door, he moved to the porch, his gun at his side, but ready to strike at a moment’s notice.
She’d never seen someone like this before. The gun out. The perfect calm as if he could carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.
He was a doctor, not an officer of the law. Yet you wouldn’t know that now.
The front door opened wider as he came back in, slipping the gun behind his back. “It’s people at the dumpster.”
“What?”
“Come here. Look. Other than a gray car coming out of a driveway that went by, this is all that is going on out here.”
She moved forward, her hand landing on his outstretched palm, the heat of his strength warming her chilled body, Arden dropping the blanket to her feet now. Somehow she’d forgotten it was still her security in her fear.
When they were back on the front porch, she leaned over the railing and there past the next unit of houses were two people emptying bags and other items from two vehicles and tossing them in.
The bang came again, and it was exactly what she’d been hearing for the past ten minutes.
She sagged against his side, embarrassment riding high enough to float her into space. She almost wished it would so she could escape.
“I’m sorry. I saw a gray car too, but before you got here.”
He frowned, as if in thought. “What kind of car?”
“I don’t know. Four doors and gray. It was moving at a normal speed, so it couldn’t have been the noise I heard before it even got here.”
“True.”
“Again, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” he said. “You’ve had a rough twenty-four hours.”
He pulled her into his arms, then back to the house where he locked the front door.
“I was trying to convince myself it was that. That anyone’s nerves would be on edge.”
“Exactly, so cut yourself some slack. Did you check on Gracie? She still sleeping?”
“She’s not here,” she confessed.
“Where is she? Not with Billy, I hope.”
The steel edge to his voice said everything she needed to hear. That the man holding her wasn’t just guarding her but her daughter as well.
“No. My parents have her. It was planned for over a week and I didn’t want to cancel. They’d ask why.”
“They don’t know what is going on?”
“No. Only you and Billy besides our attorneys.”
He moved her to the couch and pulled her next to him. “Why?”
“Because I don’t need advice. I don’t need lectures. I got enough of them during my marriage. Then after. They never agreed with my actions and, looking back, I should have listened. But I’m doing what is right for Gracie now and don’t need the judgment.”
He hesitated, watched his words, then said, “I don’t know if anyone is judging you.”
She laughed, not a funny sound in the least. Nothing about this night had one ounce of humor in it. “Trust me, they are. Lots of people. Billy included.”
His arm tightened on her shoulder. “How did it go today?”
“What I expected. He put on a mask like always around Julie. Even Gracie. I know he’s trying not to scare her and I can appreciate that.”
“Arden,” he warned.
“I’m not defending him. Not in the least. I’m just saying he’s trying to keep her out of this. He insists it’s not him or Tina, but then who could it be?”
“We’re working on that,” he said.
“Who is we?” she asked, moving out of his arms to look closer into his eyes.
“Clay. Ash was there too. I went to see my brother last night. He’s got a way of getting information others can’t, or at least he can do it without anyone watching.”
“How?”
“I don’t ask and he doesn’t volunteer. It doesn’t matter either. But Clay was part of recon and other military operations and has connections.”
She waited a second, then asked, “Did he find out anything on Billy or Tina?”
“No,” he said. “I wish he had. Doesn’t mean it’s still not them. But he brought up an idea I foolishly overlooked. Your job. Your past job and this one. Is there anyone you can think of that has a vendetta out for you?”
She frowned, her eyebrows drawing together, her mind going blank. “I can’t think of anyone. It’s possible. I’ll try to remember.”
“Hey,” he said, his head lowering, his mouth landing on hers for a quick reassuring kiss. “Not tonight. Both times it’s been at work, not here. The dolls had been explained away easily enough. They admitted it. I can stay on the couch if you want so you can get some sleep, but don’t force it now.”
She heard his words. Felt more than him wanting to watch over her.
What she wanted was him not on the couch but in her bed. In her arms.
Making this night just vanish from her nightmares if only for a short time.
“I’d like you to stay,” she said, her hand reaching for his and standing. “But not on the couch. Upstairs with me. In my bed, next to me, holding me tonight.”
“Arden,” he said, his voice almost pained. “You’re not thinking straight.”
“I’m thinking more clearly now than I have in days. Maybe weeks. Today, after I dropped my daughter off all I could remember was two weeks ago when we sat for two hours in the restaurant talking, laughing, our first kiss and the restraint both of us had and wished we hadn’t.”
He laughed. “I’m giving you space.”
“Which I appreciate, but I don’t need it now.
Not tonight. I won’t regret this. I know you’re worried about that, but it’s not going to happen.
You, you’re what I want right now. What I need.
Someone to hold on to me and tell me that maybe it won’t be okay, but for the moment, it’s going to be safe. ”
“You’re positive?”
“I’ve never been so positive in my life.”