Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
DECK
Three days of sleeping beside her and not touching her beyond kisses is driving me out of my mind.
I know why we're waiting. I know it's the right thing to do. She's been through trauma. We're building trust. Neither of us wants to rush something that matters this much.
But every morning I wake up with her body pressed against mine, soft and warm and smelling like my sheets, and my cock is so hard it aches. Every night she falls asleep in my arms, her breath evening out while I lie there counting the hours until dawn.
Tonight is different.
We're on the couch after dinner, her legs draped across my lap while she reads one of my books.
I'm pretending to review security protocols on my tablet, but I haven't absorbed a single word in twenty minutes.
I'm too aware of the weight of her thighs, the curve of her calves, the way she absently plays with her hair while she reads.
"You're staring," she says without looking up.
"I'm observing."
She smiles. "For you they’re the same thing."
I set the tablet aside. "What are you reading?"
"Some thriller about a retired CIA operative who finds love in an unexpected place." She finally looks at me, amusement in her eyes. "Sound familiar?"
"I'm not CIA."
"Close enough." She closes the book and tosses it on the coffee table. "And I think I've figured out the ending anyway."
"Yeah?"
"The grumpy operative realizes he's been denying himself happiness for no good reason, and he and the woman he's protecting finally stop dancing around each other."
"That's a spoiler."
"That's a prediction." She shifts, swinging her legs off my lap to face me properly. "Based on extensive research."
My hand finds her knee, thumb tracing circles on the inside of her thigh. "What kind of research?"
"The observational kind." Her breath hitches slightly as my hand moves higher. "I've been taking notes."
"And what do your notes tell you?"
"That you want me." She says it plainly, no coyness, no games. "That you've been holding back because you think it's the right thing to do. And that you're about five minutes away from snapping."
She's not wrong. My hand stills on her thigh, fingers pressing into the soft flesh.
"I don't want to push you," I say.
"You're not pushing. I'm pulling." She leans forward, her lips brushing my jaw. "I've been ready, Deck. I've been waiting for you to stop being noble."
"I'm not being noble. I'm being careful."
"I don't want careful." Her mouth finds my ear, her breath hot against my skin. "I want you."
The words break something loose in my chest. I turn my head and capture her mouth, kissing her hard. She responds instantly, her hands fisting in my shirt, pulling me closer. The kiss is hungry, desperate, nothing like the gentle exchanges of the past few days.
I pull her into my lap so she's straddling me, her thighs on either side of my hips. The position puts her exactly where I need her, her core pressed against my cock. She grinds down, and I groan into her mouth.
"Bedroom," I manage against her lips.
"Here is fine."
"Bedroom." I grip her hips to still her movement. "I want you in my bed. I want to take my time."
She pulls back to look at me, her eyes dark with want. "Then take me there."
I stand with her in my arms, her legs wrapping around my waist. She's lighter than she looks, or maybe I'm just running on adrenaline. I carry her down the hall, kicking the bedroom door shut behind us, and lower her onto the bed.
She's spread out on my sheets, dark hair fanning across my pillow, her chest heaving with each breath. The sight of her there, in my space, hits me somewhere deep.
"Take off your shirt," I say.
She doesn't hesitate. She pulls the sweater over her head and tosses it aside, revealing a simple black bra. Her breasts strain against the fabric, full and round, and I want my mouth on them.
"Now the pants."
She wriggles out of her yoga pants, leaving her in just the bra and matching underwear. Her thighs are soft and pale, her stomach curved, her hips flaring in a way that makes my hands itch to grab them.
"Your turn," she says.
I strip off my henley in one motion. Her eyes roam over my chest, my scars, the trail of hair that disappears into my waistband. When I reach for my belt, her gaze drops lower.
"Wait." She sits up, reaching for me. "Let me."
Her fingers work my belt open, then the button of my tactical pants. She tugs them down along with my boxer briefs, and my cock springs free, thick and hard and already leaking at the tip.
"God." She wraps her hand around me, and my hips jerk involuntarily. "You're big."
"That a problem?"
"Opposite of a problem." She strokes me slowly, her thumb swiping across the head, spreading the precum. "I've been thinking about this. About what you'd feel like. What you'd taste like."
"Yeah?" My voice comes out rough, strained.
"Constantly." She echoes my words from the mountain. "Extremely annoying."
Before I can respond, she leans forward and takes me into her mouth.
The wet heat of her nearly buckles my knees. She sucks me deep, her tongue working the underside, her hand stroking what her mouth can't reach. I thread my fingers through her hair, not guiding, just holding on.
"Fuck, Vivian." I watch her take me, her lips stretched around my cock, her cheeks hollowing with each pull. "Your mouth is incredible."
She hums in response, the vibration sending sparks up my spine. She's good at this, confident and eager, and if she keeps going I'm going to come down her throat before I've even touched her.
I pull back gently, my cock sliding from her lips with an obscene pop.
"Not yet." I push her back onto the bed and climb over her. "I want to taste you first."
I kiss my way down her body, taking my time. Her neck. Her collarbone. The swell of her breasts above the bra. I reach behind her and unhook it, pulling the fabric away to reveal her fully.
Her nipples are dark and hard, begging for my mouth. I take one between my lips and suck, and she arches off the bed with a gasp.
"Sensitive," I note against her skin.
"Very." Her fingers dig into my shoulders. "Deck, please—"
I switch to the other breast, giving it the same attention. Licking, sucking, biting gently until she's writhing beneath me, her hips grinding up against nothing.
"Patience." I kiss down her stomach, my hands sliding her underwear down her legs. "I told you I want to take my time."
She's bare beneath the underwear, completely smooth, her pussy glistening with arousal. The sight of her, wet and wanting, makes my cock throb.
"Beautiful." I spread her thighs wider, settling between them. "Look how wet you are for me."
"I've been wet for days." She props herself up on her elbows to watch me. "Every time you touched me during training. Every night sleeping next to you. I've been soaking through my underwear like a teenager."
"Good." I lean in and lick her from entrance to clit in one long stroke. Her taste explodes on my tongue, sweet and musky, and I groan against her. "I want you desperate."
"I am desperate. I've been desperate." Her head falls back when I circle her clit with my tongue. "Oh god, yes, right there—"
I eat her like I'm starving for it. Long licks. Focused circles. I fuck her with my tongue, then suck her clit hard enough to make her cry out. Her thighs clamp around my head, her hands tangling in my hair, and the sounds she's making—breathy moans and half-formed curses—go straight to my cock.
I slide two fingers inside her, curling them to find the spot that makes her back arch off the bed. She's tight and hot and so fucking wet, her walls gripping my fingers like she never wants to let go.
"Deck." My name is a plea. "I'm gonna—I’m so close."
I double down, my tongue flicking her clit in a relentless rhythm while my fingers work inside her. She shatters with a scream, her whole body convulsing, her pussy clenching around my fingers in rhythmic pulses.
I work her through it, slowing gradually until the aftershocks fade. When I finally pull back, her chest is heaving and her eyes are glazed.
"Get up here." She pulls at my shoulders. "I need you inside me."
I don't make her wait. I crawl up her body and settle between her thighs, my cock nudging her entrance. She's so wet I could slide in without resistance, but I pause, needing to see her face.
"Vivian." I say her name because I want her to remember this. To remember me. "Look at me."
Her eyes find mine. Dark brown, still hazy with pleasure, but focused now. Present.
"I've got you," I tell her. And then I push inside.
She's tight. Even after the orgasm, even with how wet she is, her body resists my intrusion for a moment before yielding. I sink into her inch by inch, watching her face for any sign of discomfort.
There's none. Her mouth falls open, her eyes flutter, and she makes a sound that's halfway between a moan and a sob.
"All of it." She wraps her legs around my waist, pulling me deeper. "Give me all of it."
I bottom out inside her, my hips flush against hers, and we both still. The feeling of her wrapped around my cock, hot and tight and perfect, threatens to overwhelm me.
"You pussy is incredible." My voice is wrecked. "Like you were made for me."
"Then move." She digs her heels into my ass. "Make me feel you."
I pull back and thrust in, hard. She gasps, her nails scoring down my back. I set a steady rhythm, not too fast, not too slow, each stroke driving deep enough to make her breasts bounce.
"That's it." She meets me thrust for thrust, her hips rising to take me deeper. "Harder, Deck. I like it rough."
I give her what she wants. My pace quickens, my hips snapping against hers with enough force to shove her up the bed. She braces her hands against the headboard, using the leverage to push back against me.
"Fuck, you take me so well." I grip her hip with one hand, anchoring her in place. "Look at you. Taking my cock like you were made for it."
"I was." She's panting now, her voice ragged. "Made for you. Only you."
I lean down and kiss her, swallowing her moans, tasting myself on her tongue.
My hips never stop moving, driving into her with increasing urgency.
I can feel my orgasm building at the base of my spine, but I refuse to come before she does again.
I shift my angle, tilting her hips up, and the next thrust makes her cry out.
"There." She clutches at me frantically. "Right there, don't stop—"
I hammer into that spot, relentless, my thumb finding her clit and rubbing in tight circles. She goes off like a bomb, her whole body seizing, her pussy clamping down on my cock so hard I see stars.
The feeling drags me over the edge. I bury myself to the hilt and come with a groan that tears from somewhere deep, spilling inside her in hot pulses while her body milks every last drop.
We collapse together, breathing hard, sweat slicking our skin. I'm still inside her, softening but not willing to pull out yet. She feels too good. Too right.
Her fingers trace patterns on my back, soft and soothing. When I finally lift my head to look at her, she's smiling.
"That was worth waiting for." She presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth.
"More than worth it." I roll us onto our sides, staying connected, her leg hooked over my hip. "Give me twenty minutes and I'll show you what else I've been thinking about for the past three days."
"Twenty minutes?" She raises an eyebrow. "Is that a promise?"
"It's a guarantee."
She laughs, the sound light and free and so different from the guarded woman who stumbled out of that SUV two weeks ago. I tuck her hair behind her ear, studying her face in the low light.
"I'm in trouble," I say.
"What kind of trouble?"
"The kind where I don't want to let you go. The kind where I'm already thinking about ways to keep you here even after the trial."
"That's not trouble." She traces my jaw with her fingertip. "That's just you finally catching up to where I've been for days."
"You've been thinking about staying?"
"I've been thinking about not wanting to leave." She meets my eyes. "This started as survival. But somewhere along the way, it became something else."
"What?"
"Home." She says it simply, like it's obvious. "You feel like home, Deck. This cabin, this mountain, you. It feels like where I'm supposed to be."
My throat tightens. I kiss her because I don't have words for what she's making me feel. She kisses me back, soft and sweet, and when we break apart, she's looking at me like I'm something worth keeping.
"Twenty minutes?" she asks.
I glance down at my cock, already stirring back to life. "Might be closer to ten."
"Even better." She pushes me onto my back and swings her leg over, straddling me. "This time I'm on top."
She sinks down onto me, still wet, still tight, and we both groan at the sensation as my cock stands back at attention. She sets a slow rhythm, her hands braced on my chest, her breasts swaying with each movement.
I grip her hips and let her ride me, watching the pleasure play across her face. She's beautiful like this—in control, chasing her own pleasure, using my body to get what she needs.
"Touch me," she breathes.
My hand slides between us, finding her clit. She gasps and picks up the pace, grinding down harder, her movements growing frantic.
"Come for me." I rub her in tight circles, matching her rhythm. "Let me feel you."
She comes with a cry, her body shuddering, her pussy clenching around me. I thrust up into her through it, prolonging her orgasm until she's trembling and gasping.
Then I flip her onto her back and fuck her through a third, taking my own pleasure this time, driving into her with single-minded focus until I come again with her name on my lips.
Afterward, we lie tangled together, too exhausted to move. She's draped across my chest, her breathing slow and steady, her body heavy with satisfaction.
"Stay," I murmur against her hair. "Not just tonight. Stay."
"Okay," she whispers back.
It's not a promise of forever. We both know there are still trials ahead, literal and figurative. But for now, in this bed, in this moment, it's enough.
She's enough.
And for the first time in years, so am I.