Chapter Eleven
Carter
I scrubbed at the blood, amazed at how much it stuck.
Human blood dried and turned brittle, flaking off the skin in tiny patches, but monster blood didn’t do that.
Instead, it congealed until it turned to slime, thick and difficult to remove.
It would disappear in a few hours, of course, dissipating, fizzling out of existence, but that wouldn’t help us right now.
I wasn’t the type to give a damn about putting on a good front for a guide. It wasn’t like I felt the need to woo them, to romance them in some strange way. It was a business transaction at best, a physical need at worst, but either way, I didn’t care to dress up and make a good impression.
It wasn’t about making a good impression with Yun, either.
Instead, her gaze had locked on the blood that had covered me, and each inhalation through her nose had made her flinch.
I could almost see the bile rising up her throat, telling me she had a guttural reaction to the scent and sight of monster blood.
I told myself the shower was about efficient guiding. She couldn’t do the job right if she were nearly throwing up, could she?
I nearly choked on the stupid lie.
Still, the sight of her did…something to me. It was something uncomfortable, something I could neither control nor understand, and I both cherished and hated it. Even the subtle proximity guiding she did naturally felt different from anything I’d experienced before.
It wasn’t gentle, not sweet, but almost feral. It was wild, rough, like someone who had just discovered the skill and couldn’t control it.
And why the hell did I like that?
I lacked an answer, but that didn’t change my response. A glance down at my hard cock proved that much, at least. I couldn’t walk out of there in this state, could I?
I chuckled as I closed my eyes and pictured her reaction. She’d recoil, and maybe I’d learn exactly why they called her Blizzard.
It might just be worth it. It had been a long time since anyone had put me on my ass.
However, I didn’t want her running away for some reason, so it was a better option to take care of this myself beforehand. Better I not show up at her room sporting a baton in my pajamas.
My face already looked a mess, the black veins stark against my tanned skin, a sign to anyone that they should keep their distance. I could go without guiding, had plenty of other times, but it was better not to balance on that edge for too long. Besides, if she was here, why not?
I pictured how she’d look if we did this the way instinct demanded. I could stretch her down on the bed, beneath me, run my hands up her sides. I wanted to hear the sounds she’d make, to press my lips to hers and taste her moans.
I wrapped my hand around my cock, gripping tightly.
This wasn’t some date with myself, where I took my time and enjoyed the fantasy.
Instead, I needed to finish it up as quickly as possible, to get out there and finish this.
Who knew if she’d lose her nerve, or just fucking fall asleep, given the way we’d found her?
It didn’t seem like she slept all that well, judging from the constant dark circles beneath her eyes.
My breath came out faster as I rested my other hand against the wall to brace myself, leaning forward so the water sprayed down the back of my neck.
It was hot, probably reddening my skin, given the steam that filled the glass-enclosed shower.
I stroked my cock with quick, rough movements, my hips thrusting forward with each one as though my body knew exactly what it would much rather be doing.
Which was the guide probably fretting in her room right now.
A spark of guilt threatened to take hold, that I was in here jerking off when she was no doubt biting her bottom lip and stressing about what was to come.
Of course, I did this for that exact reason, so I didn’t have to worry about getting out of hand with her.
Plus, too much had happened in my life for guilt to mean much anymore, so I focused on my cock, on the way I’d glimpsed the sexy curve of Yun’s ass through her slacks, on chasing the pleasure that grew inside me.
I gave myself over to the fantasy, to the sensations, needing to finish this as quickly as possible.
What got me over that edge was a final picture in my head, of Yun digging those dull little nails of hers into my back as she grabbed onto me, as she held tight.
Why the fuck that was hotter than stripping her down or spreading her pretty thighs, I had no idea, but who could account for the perverse nature of men?
I came hard, my hand on the wall curling into a fist to help prevent me from doing any damage. Fuck knew I’d screwed up enough other furniture and house fixtures—I didn’t need to have to call someone in to fix the shower wall.
I leaned my forehead against the cool tile, panting hard, working to catch my breath. The worst was when getting myself off didn’t refresh me, when I didn’t get that wonderful, drowsy, ready to take a nap feeling.
This time had just managed to take the edge off.
Just barely. As an esper—especially a physical combat specialist—my stamina was far better than most others. Just once hardly served as an appetizer. Still, it would hopefully keep my cock in check during guiding.
I turned off the water, wondering if I shouldn’t have taken a cold shower—or fuck, even an ice bath.
Too late for that now. Instead, I got out of the shower, the blast of cold air not nearly enough to wipe away the thoughts still fucking with my head.
I pulled on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, just enough to cover what needed covering.
Putting more layers on wouldn’t make much of a difference. I could fuck her in a parka or a thong.
I was nothing if not inventive.
Still, a layer like this would help put her at ease. It gave the impression I wasn’t going to jump on her.
And I wasn’t, but I could see why she might not believe it. Espers weren’t all that trustworthy, after all.
The steam flowed out from the bathroom when I opened the door, like rolling fog, and I walked into my bedroom, my gaze down, a towel still over my head as I dried my hair.
Something pricked at my senses, and I paused, jerking my head up.
Instead of the empty room I’d expected, I found a certain guide sitting on my bed.
And fuck did that set off all my fantasies yet again… How the hell could something this innocent rile me up so much? I wasn’t a fucking teenage boy, so how did a fully dressed woman just sitting on my bed make it so the whole taking care of myself in the shower didn’t matter a bit?
Again, it felt like it was her personally, and not a me problem. Something about this guide just stripped away every logical thought in my head.
It felt rather fucking dangerous, to be honest. The way that she got me to react even when I didn’t want to, when nothing else would get that from me.
She wore the same clothes as before, a basic pair of leggings and a shirt long and loose enough to not show her body and to cover her ass. I wouldn’t call it all that alluring, not sexy or seductive, but it didn’t seem to matter with how I reacted to it—and her.
She didn’t look at me—instead her gaze was on her hands as she fidgeted with the bottom hem of her shirt. The action spoke volumes about her feelings.
If she was this nervous, why the hell was she in here, in my room? Most guides would much rather use their own space, to feel the safety of their own room, to feel in control.
“I thought you were going to wait for me in your room?” I asked. “We don’t have to do it here.”
She shook her head, the action causing her hair to fall into her face, at which point she brushed it back again with a huff. “It’s fine.”
It sure doesn’t seem fine.
Yet she wanted to do it here?
The answer hit me quickly, when I recalled what I’d said to her. I’d told her that the room was hers, that we wouldn’t enter it without permission.
Was that why she’d come here? Because she didn’t want me in her space?
The idea had me holding back a laugh. She was willing to come into my space, into my room, even understanding what guiding was like, the risk, all because she wanted to keep her space sacred somehow?
Again, she surprised me.
I grabbed the chair from the corner of the room, then pulled it closer and sat in it. It placed me just before her, but gave her a bit of space.
“You know, this really isn’t efficient,” I said as I set my hands on the armrests, palms up.
“I already told you this was all I’d do.”
“I’m not trying to get you to change it, just curious how you think it’ll work.”
“It’s worked before.”
“Has it, Blizzard?”
She narrowed her eyes until just a slit of darkness remained between her pretty lashes. I had to admit I liked the way she glared. It was sexy as hell, even if it had no good reason to be. “Is it smart to piss your guide off?”
“About as smart as pissing off a date, but still, I do it every time. What can I say? I’ve never been good at following standard social rules.”
“That seems to be a problem for your entire squad.” She kept her legs folded and leaned forward, the position rather precarious, but it seemed she didn’t want to risk any potential accidental contact.
Of course, if she wasn’t careful, she’d topple right the fuck off the end.
“None of you do what you’re supposed to. ”
“Kenyon is pretty good. He’s stupid as the day is long, don’t get me wrong, but he’s friendly at least.” I paused, as though thinking.
“Too friendly, maybe. I remember one time he was late for a dungeon and it turned out he was moving someone’s goods because he’d walked by and they were carrying heavy things.
Of course, he ended up even later because it turned out that the people were robbing the house.
” I shrugged. “So maybe he isn’t the best example. ”