Chapter Forty-Six
Yun
Each time Kenyon thrust forward, his body slammed against mine, and his cock stroked along my clit.
I arched my back to ensure he rubbed harder against that one perfect spot.
That startled me more than anything else, how quickly I gave in to this, to them, to the feelings.
I wanted to blame it on the alcohol, and sure, that probably played a part, but it was so much more than that.
And so much less.
It was the overwhelming instinct inside me.
It was the sparks of pleasure in my body, the things I didn’t think I was capable of feeling.
It confused me, changing what I’d always believed.
I’d thought myself broken, thought that I’d been shattered so fully that I would never be able to feel this way, to want this, to enjoy this.
I’d given up before ever trying, but here I was, entirely enthralled by the touch of each of them.
Even the guiding added to it, made me lose myself deeper in this sensation.
In this moment there was no room for my past, for the horrors I’d lived through, none of that.
My gaze found a sight before me that stopped all that noise in my head, all the confusion.
Shear crouched down on the bed, his lips moving up Ingram’s shaft, his pink tongue wrapping around each piercing to tease it.
There was a comfort in the motions, suggesting it was far from the first time they’d done this.
It drew me in, creating a desire inside me that I didn’t recognize.
Before I knew it, I arched forward, into the space beside Shear, and ran my tongue along the bottom of Ingram’s cock, following the same route Shear had taken.
It put us side by side, my cheek brushing his, and when we both turned our heads slightly, I touched his tongue with my own.
All the while, I lavished attention to Ingram’s cock, the scent of him drugging me as much as the alcohol, the strange feeling of being powerless and in control all at once.
I toyed with one of the barbells with my lips, the dichotomy between the cool metal and the heat of his skin fascinating.
It again made me wonder just why the hell he would ever consider getting such a thing, but I saw no reason to waste time or energy actually asking.
Did it really matter? Why he’d done it, how he felt about it, whether it had hurt when he’d had it done, none of that mattered.
Instead, I committed myself fully to the action, to the kisses I indulged in from Shear as we both lavished attention on Ingram’s thick cock.
“Fuck,” Ingram said, his voice low, the darkness inside him slipping out through that one word.
I felt it inside him, the shadows, the void, the need for more that pulled him under.
His actions made so much more sense when I truly saw what rested beneath his skin.
It might have terrified me at any other time, the idea that something that dark, that twisted could exist within the confines of another, the thought that something like that attempted to control him.
With the taste of his cock, however, I couldn’t bring myself to care.
Instead, I gave myself over to the feelings, to the guiding, to it all.
The corruption that swam through me already twisted, my body filtering it, changing it, turning it inane and harmless by my powers.
Guiding exhausted me, but it felt like a big meal, both tiring me out and making me feel better, nourished.
It reminded me of why I had to get this to work, because I had no idea what I would do if I was kicked from the Guild, if I lacked access to espers for this feeling. If they tossed me away, if they decided I wasn’t worth the effort it took to deal with me, what then?
Sure, I had no idea where I would go, how I would care for myself, and it would cause a problem if I lacked for espers, but beyond that? In this moment, my mind clouded by need and liquor and corruption, I had no idea how I would separate from them.
That thought scared me the most, the idea that I actually wanted them—for what, in what way, how it would all work, those answers evaded me. I only knew that I didn’t want to wake up tomorrow to find them gone. I knew I didn’t want to end things even if I had little idea where this all could go.
Kenyon’s fingers tightened at my hips, gripping me in a way that I would have found suffocating any other time.
He held me fast, his body slamming against mine, a reminder of just how strong he was by virtue of his size alone.
My cunt tightened helplessly, wishing that instead of his cock rubbing between my thighs, he’d slipped it inside me.
Even if I knew that, were I in my right mind, I’d not be ready for that, this drunken side of me craved it so badly.
I wanted to know what it felt like, to experience that overwhelming sensation that no toy could quite replicate.
He was thick, my thighs burning despite how wet I was as he fucked between them, and I wondered how that would feel if he plunged himself into me.
I’d used toys, but my own nervousness meant I’d never tried anything that thick.
Instead, I’d stuck with newbie items, barely thicker or longer than my finger.
Kenyon was nothing like that, and I had no doubt that he’d stretch me in a way that would be entirely unlike anything I’d experienced.
Beyond that, the idea of losing that bit of control, of allowing someone else to take me, it filled my mind.
I struggled to keep my thighs tight, wanting to spread them, to beg him for more.
Before I could give into such a thing, before I could ignore all the warnings and lessons I’d learned, Kenyon slammed against me, his cock twitching and warmth coating my stomach.
I moaned, the sound rumbling out through my lips.
Ingram groaned, the sound making mine sound soft and sweet. Shear took Ingram’s cock into his mouth, deeply, as though he’d done it a million times before. Ingram’s hips jerked forward, his teeth bared, his muscles tight. After a moment, he pulled back, withdrawing his cock from Shear’s lips.
And me? For a reason I didn’t understand, with a bravery—or stupidity—that I’d never expected, I leaned in and kissed Shear. It wasn’t some quick peck, my tongue dived past his lips and into the heat of his mouth. I caught Ingram’s cum, the salty taste of it familiar in a primal way.
Kenyon pulled away from me, the action causing his softening cock to stroke against my clit enough to get me off once more, as though the mixture of that taste of Ingram’s cum, the warmth of Shear’s kiss, and the overwhelming sparks from Kenyon’s cock brushing my already over-stimulated nub pushed me beyond my limits.
I gasped or whimpered or something into Shear’s mouth, my brain so foggy that I couldn’t even understand the sound I had made. It all seemed so unlike me so different, so distant from what I understood about myself.
I’d always been one thing. I knew myself, who I was, the good and the bad. I was frigid and difficult and talented and prickly. I was a woman who avoided entanglements like this no matter what, a woman who knew exactly what they could lead to.
Yet here I was, indulging in them like a fool, like someone who had forgotten all the suffering I had gone through, who failed to realize that it could all happen again.
The questions, the shame, the anger at myself didn’t come, however, my body and mind too muddled to make sense of it. Instead, I found myself so exhausted that I closed my eyes, Shear’s lips the last thing I recalled before I drifted into a deep sleep.
When I woke, I’d have to deal with this all, would have to suffer the consequences of my own recklessness, but for tonight? Tonight, I would pretend the world was a different place than it was.