Chapter 40 Pretty Boy - Spencer
Fortunately for me, I’d been doing my job for so many years that at this point it was pure muscle memory running through my veins. Every call I hopped on, my mind knew exactly what to say—even in the moments I didn’t feel fully present. Same went for the e-mails flooding my inbox.
I was a robot.
In-person meetings were being pushed, something I’d never done. And for weeks, Jayson had been on my ass for ignoring his calls.
Talking about my problems was not my forte.
I’d rather hole up in my penthouse with a bottle of bourbon and sulk.
I was realizing that at the ripe age of forty, I’d never actually known what it felt like to be heartbroken.
In my past, I’d get over it and find someone new. I never got attached easily.
But Avery wasn’t just any girl. When she walked into my life, it wasn’t hard to realize that if she walked away from me, I’d be nothing without her.
My phone rang all day, buzzing with insistent notifications. When each one came through and were in fact not Avery, whoever was on the other end of the phone didn’t fucking matter.
The only notification that mattered would be when her name flashed across my screen.
But every time my phone went off, I checked … just in case.
Like the universe could read my mind, my phone lit up once again, and instead of it being Avery, Jayson was on the other end. For whatever reason, my insides screamed for me to answer the call this time after ignoring all the others.
“Jayson, what’s up, man?” I masked my shitty mood as I answered his call.
“Cut the shit, dude. Where the fuck have you been?” he snapped back.
“Whoa, Jay. I’m sorry, okay? It’s been insanely busy over here. I’d been meaning to return your call. I was just a little backed up. Work and life—you know how it goes,” I answered somewhat honestly. “Everything okay?” I added.
“Yeah. Good over here. But what’s up with you? And don’t even think about lying to me. We don’t ever go more than two days without talking—even when I’m deep into playoff season—and it’s been a month, man.”
“Wow, I’m flattered. You’re like a clingy girlfriend.” I chuckled sarcastically.
“You’re my best friend, you fuck. Now spill, or I’ll waltz into your office and make a huge scene.”
Jayson didn’t give a fuck. He wouldn’t just walk in here and annoy the shit out of me; he’d bother the whole office in the process. And my office was definitely not the place to air my dirty laundry to my best friend with the risk of someone overhearing.
I sucked in a deep breath, and as I ran my hands down my face, my sigh came out as a strangled moan.
“I don’t know where to start,” I groaned in defeat.
“It’s that big?”
“Huge.”
“Like getting traded to the Sharks, bad?”
“Worse.”
“Going your whole life never shaking the hand of Wayne Gretzky?”
Christ. Why was he my best friend again?
On any other day, his idiocy would make me laugh. Right now, it was just bugging the shit out of me.
“No, man. This is like a career-ending injury bad. Imagine you hadn’t won a cup yet, and you’re having the best season of your life.
You’re about to smash all your records and then …
it happens. One small mistake on the ice.
A freak accident. Career over.” I painted the picture for him in a way only he could understand.
Since Jayson had a one-track mind on hockey, and hockey only, apparently, it was the only way to compare what I was going through. So, in order for him to understand, I had to dial up the dramatics.
“Well, fuck, man. Need a drink?”
Screw it.
I guess it was time to put this mess on display, and it might as well be with Jayson. He may not understand, but he was a damn good listener, and apparently pushy enough to make me spill it all.
“Meet me at the bar next door to my place in thirty.”
“Let me get this straight…” Jayson held up a finger, took a swig of his beer, and smacked his lips at the aftertaste. “Jackson is Avery’s ex-boyfriend, and the two of you never put the pieces together?”
“Yup. Pretty much.” I nodded, feeling like a complete moron.
“Wow … You weren’t joking. That is career-ending injury, bad. I mean, Jesus, you guys have fucked the same pussy. How do you get over that?”
The second the words left his mouth, I smacked him upside the head. My eyes narrowed, glaring at him for even thinking that would be the one thing I’d want to hear at a time like this.
“What the fuck, man?” He clutched the back of his head.
“You think I haven’t thought about that?” I whisper-yelled through gritted teeth. “I mean, if I was a betting man, I’d say with the history they have, Jackson is probably still hung up on her.”
“Shit. But what about Avery? Are there still feelings on her end?”
“No way in hell. She hates him so much that she can’t even look at me. Or fucking talk to me. I don’t know.”
Colton rounded the corner of the bar, heading in our direction. And since he was friends with Avery, I immediately shut my mouth.
“Hey, Daddy! Oh, you brought company today?”
“Daddy?” Jayson chuckled, almost spitting up his drink.
“Inside joke, pretty boy.” Colton winked, spinning his bottle opener around his finger. He spent a moment looking back and forth between Jayson and me; his eyebrows furrowed, trying to get a read on us.
“It’s Jayson Jennings, actually,” he said smugly.
“I know who you are, pretty boy; the whole country does if they know anything about hockey. The sunglasses and hat don’t fool anyone. But if you’re wearing them for style, then please continue. You look hot.” In typical Colton fashion, he didn’t hold back.
“Um...” Jayson cleared his throat. “Thanks?”
“Jayson, this is Colton. I’d introduce him to you, but apparently, he already knows who you are.” I laughed, even though just moments ago, and for the last several days, I’d been a far cry away from even smiling.
If anyone could help me crack a smile, these were the two who could make that happen. Even though I’d only known Colton for a short amount of time, each instance that I sat at his bar, I’d left feeling one percent better.
“He works at Bluff City, and now here, as well.”
“You have a thing for Daddy here? Is that why you work at all his favorite spots?” Jayson joked.
“I have a thing for Daddy’s wallet,” Colton deadpanned.
“Fair.” He shrugged.
“Okay, can we stop referring to me as Daddy now?”
All it did was remind me of Avery.
After a moment of cracking jokes, Colton topped off our drinks and let us be. With him on the other side of the bar, I kept my eye on him with every mention of Avery’s name. I didn’t want anything I was saying to get back to her.
Not that I had anything bad to say, but if any of it was news to her, it was only fair that she heard it from me.
“So, where did you and Jackson leave off then?” Jayson jumped back to where we had left off.
My mind went back to that afternoon. When Avery left. She said she needed some air and time to think, but like a fool, I had hoped that after we took a beat, she’d be back. I guess in my gut, I should have known she wasn’t coming back. She couldn’t.
“After Avery left that day, it wasn’t good.” I rubbed my temples, hating every memory from that entire day. “It got ugly between me and Jackson. I think we both said some things in the heat of the moment.”
“It happens, man. It’s gotta get ugly before it gets better.”
“Yeah. I ended up reaching out a couple of weeks later.”
Ideally, I would have wanted to talk to Avery first. But when I realized she may need more time away from everything than I would have hoped, I called Jackson. I couldn’t allow the anger to eat me up inside any longer—I needed to face it head-on.
Even though it had only been a couple of weeks, we were both able to enter a conversation with a clearer mind. We talked for hours. Not just about Avery, or the money, but his upbringing. For the first time in the last few years that he’d lived here, we were finally able to talk on a deeper level.
Partially, it gutted me that it took this disaster to have a decent conversation with Jackson.
The sick part of me was happy it all went down because I could finally get to know my son.
And for that, I felt like the biggest piece of shit—wanting a relationship with the person who’d hurt the woman I loved more than anything.
But that was something I needed to continue working through on my own.
“We talked about it all. The resentment he had for his mother. His lack of communication that ultimately drove him and Avery apart. The fucked-up actions he took to keep her around when he should have just moved on. Everything.”
I think when he saw the two of us together, a lot of feelings hit him like a brick wall.
He saw her need me in a way that I don’t think she ever needed him.
He realized that he had lost her and he would never have another chance.
Jackson was on a tidal wave just going through the flow of each emotion.
Anger, bitterness, sadness.
After we talked more, he understood where he went brutally wrong. He was able to take full accountability, even if it was hard to admit.
“The last thing we talked about was him wanting to get together with Avery—to talk.”
“What do you think he meant by that?”
“I’m not sure. I’d like to think it’s to clear the air, but I’d be stupid to forgive everything that happened so easily and ignore the fact that he may still have feelings for her. Might want to win her back or some shit. But if that were the case, I don’t think I’d be ready to face it.”
My insecurities told me that even though he seemed to understand how he fucked up, he could still be putting on an act—faking it all.
“Has he tried to reach out to her?”
“Couldn’t tell ya. After we got off the phone, I told him I’d reach out after I had some time to figure shit out with Avery. But I can’t get her to answer a single text.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you came to me then.”
“Fuck, why does that worry me so much?”
Jayson smirked. “Don’t hate me.”
Huh?