13. GODLESS
13
GODLESS
The knock on his apartment door brought Blair’s chaotic attempt to straighten up to a halt. Wren had already been there, but never for more than a few minutes, and Blair had started to feel self conscious about it. Not that his place was dirty, it just looked… very not like Wren’s. He liked to think of it as homey, but most people would probably call it cluttered. The blanket he kept on the couch was actually folded, though, and he’d put away the pyramid of clean dishes threatening to fall out of the dish drainer on his counter.
It wasn’t perfect but it was better, and that was enough to satisfy him as he opened the door. Blair belatedly realized he didn’t even call out to verify who it was, that he could be letting anyone in his apartment. Jinx could have been on the other side of the door and Blair wouldn’t have known it until he got his throat slit with a manicured fingernail, filed to razor sharpness.
Luckily it was just Wren, dressed in navy scrubs and taking in Blair’s relief with a look of amusement.
“Make yourself comfortable, I’ll get dinner,” Blair said, stepping back to let him in.
He might have watched Wren from the corner of his eye in the kitchen as he situated all his long limbs on the couch, privately enjoying the awkward way he tried to adjust to being in an unfamiliar place. He prepared two plates and balanced one on his forearm so he could also carry their drinks. Usually he helped cook at the bar but he had served the food enough to pick up a few handy tricks.
“You know we don’t have to eat every time we see each other,” Wren said, accepting his plate.
“Yeah, well. If I don’t feed you I can’t trust you not to try to subsist off caffeine and anger.”
Wren sat up, folding his socked feet under his thighs and Blair smiled at the sight of his shoes on the rug. It was oddly endearing to see Wren making himself at home, watching as Blair plunked their drinks down on a couple squares of corkboard that acted as his coasters. Wren peered down at the dark liquid in the mug.
“You didn’t strike me as the type to drink coffee with dinner.”
Blair took a sip of his water. “I’m not. I made it for you.”
“Oh.” Then, quietly, “Thanks.”
Halfway through their meal, Wren said he passed his exam. Blair probably praised him a little too forcefully but in his defense, he usually had to drag details like that out of Wren by force, so having it volunteered to him made him happy. Wren just looked amused with his enthusiasm.
“Reymond told me there was a shooting at the bar,” Wren said.
Blair swallowed his last bite of chicken and sat his empty plate on top of Wren’s on the coffee table. “Yeah, they’re finally starting to show themselves.”
Wren picked up his coffee. “Is it worth it?”
“Yeah of course, why wouldn’t it be?”
“Maybe they realized they were outmatched and went into hiding in hopes that it would blow over.” Wren took a long drink and only lowered it as far as his lap, hands wrapped around the old striped mug. “If they’re leaving you alone maybe you should let them.”
Blair let his head hang over the back of the couch. “They hit Adam with a car, I wouldn’t call that leaving us alone.”
“He was hanging around in their territory. I’m just saying, if you let them be this war might end itself.”
“We can’t do that. They attacked us, if we don’t destroy them then every gang in Queens will think they can pick a fight with Incindious.”
“Sounds like a bunch of stupid politics and egos.”
Blair turned so that his back was against the armrest and he could stretch a leg out to prod at Wren’s knee. “You’re one to talk about ego. You showed up on my doorstep just to find out if you were right about something.”
“My ego didn’t get me shot,” Wren pointed out, grabbing the foot Blair was harassing him with and pulling it into his lap. His usually cold fingers were warm from the mug he’d been holding, now wrapped around Blair’s ankle instead.
“Getting shot wouldn’t have been nearly as bad if one of the doctors hadn’t been such a dick.”
Wren moved like water, shifting and spilling over Blair’s body, holding himself up with a hand on the back of the couch. “Asking someone out is a weird way to counsel someone on their bedside manner, Blair.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Blair said, pulling him down.
He kissed the smug look off Wren’s face, tangling with him until Wren’s thigh rested between his legs and the other one was tucked against the back of the couch. There wasn’t enough room for what they were doing but Blair was finding it really hard to care at the moment. Wren’s tongue swept over his, a hand curling around the nape of Blair’s neck, and Blair wrapped his arms around him. He slipped one hand under the back of Wren’s shirt just to feel the way his spine moved as he pressed their bodies together.
Wren broke the kiss to attach himself to Blair’s neck, leaving a trail of kisses and bites, alternating between the two so erratically that Blair never knew what was coming next. He was panting by the time Wren got to his collarbone. Wren tugged the edge of his shirt down to kiss his tattoo, then set upon it with his teeth. It was still bruised from the last time he did that. Blair let his head fall back against the arm of the couch, hands slipping away from Wren’s back. His eyes drifted shut as Wren slid his shirt up over his stomach.
“Unreasonably,” Wren said, mouthing at his abs, “fucking,” he sucked a bruise just under Blair’s ribs, “attractive.”
Blair stifled a moan, trying not to rock against the thigh between his legs, so close to his cock that had been hard as soon as their lips met. He both loved and hated Wren’s enthusiasm for his body. Having Wren’s mouth on him felt amazing, even when he marked Blair up like the possessive bastard he was, but it was also a feat to withstand all the compliments without imploding from embarrassment. His cock managed just fine, though, throbbing for attention in his pants. Traitor.
Wren pulled at his waistband and sucked viciously on the soft hollow of his hip, and Blair’s hips jerked up with a moan. He felt Wren smile, and Blair glared down at him. “Why do I like you so much again?”
“Please don’t do that to yourself,” Wren said lightly. Like they were joking around.
Blair wasn’t.
There was no denying it, not with the enjoyment he took from Wren’s touch that was more than just sexual, the security he felt in Wren’s arms even when the world outside his door was a warzone. Blair really did like him. For some fucking reason.
God knows he tried not to get serious about this, about them , but he was.
He pushed Wren’s bangs away from his face with a shaky hand to get his attention. “What if I already did?”
Wren looked up from where he’d been diligently kissing down the trail of red hair that led down from Blair’s navel, and once he processed what Blair was saying, his face started shutting down. Blair didn’t even know what to call that look. Disappointment? Fear? His heart twisted uncomfortably as Wren moved back up to meet his gaze. “Blair,” he said, and it sounded for all the world like a plea for Blair to reconsider.
“I don’t see what’s so bad about it,” Blair said, pushing up onto his elbows. The feeling in his chest only worsened when Wren sat up on his knees to keep a distance between them. “What, you thought I asked you to be with me that night because I just wanted you to fuck me?”
“Yes,” Wren said, brows pulling together in confusion as if wondering what else Blair could have possibly meant.
God, Wren was the dumbest genius Blair had ever met.
Blair sat the rest of the way up so they were almost nose to nose. “Well, I like you. I like how impractical your hair is for working in a hospital, and your weird obsession with coffee. I like holding your hand so you don’t tap on your leg while you drive. I like your sarcasm even though it’s fucking infuriating.”
“I never expected you to develop anything more than mild curiosity and physical attraction to me,” Wren said, sounding eerily distant. “If I’d realized that was a possibility, I would have told you sooner that I can’t return your feelings.”
Wren stood up, and Blair reeled. “What the fuck does that even mean? You really want me to believe that none of this has meant anything to you?”
“Yes,” Wren said, pulling his shoes on.
“I don’t.”
“You should.” Wren walked to the door, but he hesitated with his hand on the knob. He spoke quietly, but the apartment was small enough for his voice to carry. “It’s not that I don’t want to reciprocate your feelings, Blair. I just don’t know how.”
Then he walked out, and the sound of the door closing resonated in Blair’s ears for what felt like hours. He didn’t remember getting up from the couch but a twinge of pain in his leg made him realize he’d started walking to the door. Somehow Wren’s words didn’t land as a rejection. Maybe they should have, but at most, all Blair felt was irritation as he pulled the door open and stormed out into the hallway.
“So you’re just gonna drop that on me and run off?” Blair called out.
Wren stopped halfway down the hallway. He slowly turned around. “What else do you want me to say? I can’t give you what you want.”
“You’re a fuckup. That’s what you told me.”
“And now you see why.”
“And I told you to be my fuckup. So come back.”
Wren blinked at him, looking beyond just confused. He looked lost . He took a few uncertain steps closer to Blair. “I can’t… I don’t feel anything, Blair. I’m numb. Empty. I never planned on—”
“ You didn’t plan?” Blair laughed. “You think I did? You think a relationship is what I needed while my people are getting shot at and hit with cars? Because I tried not to want you. It didn’t work. If you don’t want to do this anymore, by all means, keep walking. I won’t try to keep you against your will. But if this is just your sorry attempt to keep me from being hurt or disappointed or something, then get your insufferable ass back inside.”
Wren stalked toward him and Blair backed up into the apartment. He didn’t know if Wren was going to choke him on his cock or put a scalpel through his eye, but Blair didn’t want either of those things to occur in the hallway. His pulse climbed as Wren followed him through the doorway and flung the door shut behind him without ever taking his eyes off of Blair.
“You’re a reckless, stubborn idiot,” Wren said, and jerked Blair forward.
Their mouths met halfway in a torrid surrender of half-stifled groans and lips pressing together hard enough to bruise.
Blair pushed onto his toes, then let out a hiss of pain as his right leg protested in force. Wren solved that problem quickly. His hands slid from Blair’s waist to the back of his thighs and the floor disappeared. Blair’s eyes flew open in shock as Wren lifted him right off the ground without breaking the kiss and spun them to press him against the door, hefting Blair’s legs around his waist. Shit. No one had ever done that to him before, but he was pretty sure he liked it.
He grabbed Wren’s ponytail holder and yanked it out. It flew somewhere in the direction of the kitchen, maybe, he didn’t know or care. He wound his fingers deep into Wren’s hair and pulled. Wren made a gorgeously broken sound into his mouth, so Blair did it again. If the only thing Wren could feel was pain then Blair was going to make him feel, and if Wren was going to take him to his knees, then he was taking Wren down with him.
Wren supporting his weight left his arms free so Blair grabbed the hem of Wren’s scrubs and pulled his shirt as far up as he could until their joined mouths halted his progress. Blair gave it an insistent tug and Wren complied, pressing into Blair with his lower body to keep him against the wall as he raised his arms for Blair to finish pulling it over his head.
He clutched Wren’s shoulders, feeling muscle coil under his hands as Wren grabbed his thighs again. Wren nipped at his throat and Blair raked his nails down the taller man’s bare shoulder blades.
“Fuck,” Wren gasped.
“Bed,” Blair said before he could ask.
He thought Wren would let him down but he just started carrying him toward the stairs. Admittedly, Blair didn’t make it any easier for him by taking Wren’s earrings between his teeth and gently tugging them as he walked, dragging his tongue over the cold metal.
They fell to the bed in a tangle of limbs, but it only took a little shifting for Wren to slot himself between Blair’s thighs. Blair gasped as their cocks slid together through their pants, head falling back on the pillows, exposing his throat to an assault from Wren’s mouth. The muscles in Wren’s back flexed under Blair’s hands as Wren moved down his neck, sucking marks into place that Blair was going to play hell trying to hide, but in that moment he didn’t care.
Wren slid Blair’s shirt up, slowly, pressing his palms into every dip and plane of Blair’s abdomen as he did. He only relinquished Blair’s neck long enough to pull it off and throw it aside. Then Wren dipped back down to Blair’s flesh like he had to make up for the few seconds he wasn’t marking it up. Blair watched, too enraptured to remember to be embarrassed, cock twitching at the sight of Wren’s mouth on his naked chest. He flushed when Wren looked up and held his gaze. Blair swallowed, pushing Wren’s bangs back and holding them against his head.
Somehow, despite the fact Blair was watching every move Wren made, it still managed to take him by surprise when Wren’s lips wrapped around his nipple. A high pitched sound worked its way out of Blair’s throat. His hand clenched in Wren’s hair, and it made Wren’s eyes flutter shut in pleasure, tongue flicking out against the hardened bud between his lips. Blair moaned, jerking up against him.
“Wren,” Blair said, a plea underlying in his voice.
Wren looked back up at him and moved to slowly lick Blair’s other nipple, until it shone with saliva the same as the other one. He kept moving down, leaving a mark on Blair’s ribs, then another just below his navel. Blair took a strained breath as Wren flicked open the button of his pants and slid them down his legs. He thought his underwear would be next, but Wren occupied himself with kissing Blair’s inner thigh, Wren’s thumb dipping under the hem of Blair’s boxer briefs to inch them up and suck the skin he’d just exposed.
Blair’s cock throbbed as Wren took the sensitive flesh of his inner thigh between his teeth, knowing there would be an impressive hickey by the time Wren was done. Blair looked down the length of his own body that was getting more bruised by the second and glared at the man between his legs. “You know, you could just write ‘property of Wren Masters’ on me, it would be quicker.”
“Don’t,” Wren groaned against his thigh, his voice a full octave lower than Blair was used to, “fucking tempt me.”
Wren finally grabbed the waistband of Blair’s underwear, and Blair raised his hips to let them be slid down, and off along with the pants bunched around Blair’s knees. He returned just as quickly as he did after taking Blair’s shirt off, but rather than his chest, it was Blair’s cock he latched onto.
“ Shit ,” Blair choked as wet heat engulfed him.
His hips moved up of their own accord and Wren allowed it, welcomed it, moaning around him as Blair thrust his cock deeper into Wren’s mouth. Blair tried to pull back once he got a handle on himself but Wren sunk down to take him just as deep as he was before. He wrapped his hand around the thick base of Blair’s cock, and he worked it in tandem with his mouth, stroking Blair’s shaft as he pulled almost all the way off, then took him almost to his throat again.
“Oh god, Wren, you’ve got to, f - fuck , fucking stop.”
Wren let Blair’s cock slide from between his lips, but he kept stroking as he looked up at him. “Why?”
“You know why,” Blair said, though it lacked the intended vitriol.
Wren smiled, and Blair tugged at his bangs until Wren moved back up, laying himself over Blair with an almost feline grace, his movements languid and unhurried.
“If you don’t start doing something, I’m going to slap you,” Blair said against his mouth.
“Please?” Wren asked, pulling away to look down at him with Blair’s hand still twisted in his hair.
Blair yanked him back down. “You’re a menace.”
He kissed the answering smirk off Wren’s face, reaching down to shove at Wren’s pants, finding Wren to still be entirely too dressed. He pushed them down as far as he could—which didn’t turn out to be very far—until Wren got the hint and stood to kick them off. None of the lights on the upper level were on but Wren was backlit by the glow from downstairs, letting Blair fully see him for the first time. Pale skin stretched over lean muscle and Wren’s legs went on forever. He was—
“You’re beautiful,” Blair said softly, as if speaking too loud would cause Wren to dissolve before his eyes, vanish back to the world of dreams were impossibly perfect things belonged.
Wren didn’t seem to know what to say to that but Blair didn’t need him to say anything. He sat up to pull Wren back down to him, and Wren met him halfway, climbing back on top of him. He leaned up to kiss Wren’s neck between unsteady breaths from the friction of their cocks sliding against each other. On impulse, he pulled Wren’s head back by the hair to fully bare his throat and leave a mark of his own. Wren made a breathy sound that had the flames inside Blair licking higher, burning, branding him with the need for Wren to be inside him.
Wren grabbed Blair’s wrists and shoved them down on the bed on either side of his head. Blair tested Wren’s hold, and he could have easily broken it if he wanted, but he didn’t. He was surprised by just how much he liked Wren holding him down. Wren breathed heavily, looking down at him, and Blair basked in the sight of Wren starting to unravel.
“Fuck me,” Blair whispered.
Before Wren could ask, Blair pointed to the nightstand the best he could with his hands pinned down, and Wren released them to retrieve the small bottle that Blair knew was somewhere in the drawer with his spare phone charger and a couple extra boxes of ammunition. Wren found it immediately, and coated his fingers just as quickly. Blair felt his heart beating in his stomach as he parted his knees wider around Wren’s waist.
Wren didn’t seem to think that would suffice, as he sat back on his knees and pulled Blair forward by the waist, until Blair’s ass was in his lap. Heat crept over Blair’s face at the way he was bent and exposed. “I don’t see why you had to move me like this,” Blair grumbled, hoping the complaint would mask his embarrassment.
Wren stroked a hand over his thigh, fingers skimming just outside the healing gunshot wound. “Just trust me,” he said. He was calm, patient despite his cock almost touching Blair’s ass on his lap. “Ready?”
“Yeah,” Blair said. He had planned on making another comment about Wren needing to hurry up and get on with it, but his head was clouded with anxiety and need, so that one word was all he could manage.
A cool touch brushed against his entrance and Blair’s head sunk deeper into the pillow. He shivered, recalling his request for Wren to leave his gloves on at the hotel and realizing this was the first time Wren had touched him intimately with no barriers between them. The pressure of Wren’s finger against him made his eyes fall shut with anticipation, and then he was opening up to it. He clenched his hands in the pillowcase above his head and bit back a moan.
“You okay?” Wren asked.
Blair nodded and forced himself to open his eyes, flushing even deeper at the sight of Wren’s hand between his legs, watching Wren’s forearm flex as he curled his finger. Blair’s cock lay swollen and leaking against his stomach, something that might have furthered his embarrassment if Wren’s wasn’t in the same state. Blair bit his lip, remembering how good Wren had felt in his mouth, his head spinning at the thought of how it would feel to have Wren inside him. He was so fixated on the sight that he didn’t notice a second finger against his entrance until it was sinking into him.
He couldn’t hold back his voice any longer, moaning at the slight sting of those two fingers breaching him but the stretch felt good. He had tried to touch himself there before but it had been nothing like this. Wren’s fingers were long and confident, sliding almost all the way out before he pushed them back in, and he increased the pace until he was fucking Blair with them, holding Blair’s hip to keep him still once he started to shake.
Wren tilted his head. “You like that?” he murmured, lips curving up.
The sound of his voice added to the mix was too much. Blair’s cock throbbed, pulsing precome onto his stomach. Blair was sure he was flushed all the way down to his chest at this point. He twitched at the feeling of Wren’s fingers curling inside him, wondering if he was trying to stretch him further as they pressed up and—
“Oh fuck,” Blair cried out as an indescribable and unfamiliar pleasure sparked through him.
Wren started to abuse that spot that Blair had never reached on his own, using his grip on Blair’s waist to hold him down on his lap as Blair’s trembling turned to writhing. Heat wound tight in Blair’s stomach, growing with every press of Wren’s fingers against his prostate. He realized he could come just from Wren fingering him. Looking at Wren made it worse, seeing his face framed by his tousled hair, glasses slightly askew and looking so fucking good even though he was a mess.
Blair’s toes curled in the sheets, and he was barely able to recognize the desperate sound that came out of him as his own voice. “Wren, please. I’m ready, just—please.”
The plea sent a flash of excitement through Wren’s eyes, and if Blair wasn’t so strung out he might have laughed. He would have a thing for making me beg. Wren leaned off the side of the bed, and Blair heard fabric rustling. He took deep breaths to calm himself. His cock was uncomfortably hard, his arms stiff from how hard he’d been holding onto the sheets. Wren straightened with a silver foil packet between his fingers.
“W-We don’t, um…” Blair trailed off.
Wren took the corner of the packet between his teeth, giving him a questioning look.
“We don’t have to use one,” Blair finally managed. “I mean, we didn’t at the hotel. And as long as you don’t have anything, and obviously I don’t since I haven’t been with anyone else, so—”
“What do you mean, you haven’t been with anyone else? You mean recently?”
“At all. Not like this,” Blair said, trying to shrink into the bed but not really having anywhere to go.
Wren flicked the condom aside, his face was unreadable as he said, “You’re… a virgin.”
“I told you at the hotel I’d never done that to anyone before!” Blair said defensively. He thought Wren already knew.
“I thought you meant something specific, not that you’d never done anything like this at all.” Wren ran a hand down Blair’s side, eyes raking over his body like he was seeing it for the first time.
Blair relaxed a little at his touch. “I had a girlfriend in highschool that went down on me once. That’s pretty much it for what I’d done before you.”
Wren looked conflicted for the first time since Blair had met him. Uncertainty was an oddly endearing expression on his pretty face. “This might hurt at first,” Wren finally said, laying over him.
“I know,” Blair said around a sharp exhalation as he felt every inch of Wren’s body against his.
Wren slipped a hand under Blair’s head and pulled him up into a kiss. Wren’s lips were ravenous, but when slick fingers reached between them to brush over Blair’s entrance, they were careful as they breached him. Wren worked them in and out slowly at first, then faster when Blair started rocking his hips to meet them. Blair thought it would be nerve-wracking, preparing to lose his virginity, but all he could think as Wren fingered him was that he wanted more. He wanted everything.
Blair hooked his good leg around Wren’s waist to keep him where he was. Maybe it would be easier if he gave Wren more space to move, but Wren’s weight on top of him was calming, keeping him from focusing on the slight sting as a third finger stretched his hole.
Blair knew what was coming when Wren withdrew his fingers, and he tightened his grip on Wren’s shoulders. “Start slow?”
Wren kissed his neck, his jaw, his cheek, all so softly that it was throwing Blair’s entire equilibrium off balance, making him unsteady in Wren’s arms. “I was planning on it,” Wren murmured.
Blair’s heart stuttered in his chest, watching Wren’s arm move as he slicked himself up. Wren rested the head of his cock against Blair’s entrance, still holding the back of Blair’s head, not letting Blair turn to bury his face in the pillows as he was trying so hard to do. Wren’s glasses were starting to slip down his nose, but he shook his head when Blair reached up to take them off.
“Leave them,” Wren said as he started to press into him, thumb sweeping over Blair’s lips as they parted to suck in a breath. “I want to see you.”
His injured leg be damned, Blair wrapped it around Wren, too, unable to keep it still even if he left it laying on the bed. Blair shook from head to toe. It stung as his body accepted Wren but it was also good, frighteningly good, addicting in a way he didn’t know something as simple as sex could be. His mouth fell open wider as he stretched for Wren’s cock.
“Fuck,” Blair gasped, staring helplessly up at Wren, held captive by the bright blue eyes that hadn’t left him once.
“Yeah?” Wren smiled at the almost awestruck pleasure cracking Blair’s voice, his hair falling forward past his shoulders to hang around his face.
Blair nodded, his words failing him as Wren finally sheathed himself all the way inside. Wren didn’t move, letting Blair get used to the burn. Blair tilted his head to bite Wren’s thumb that still rested against his lips. Wren let out a sharp, startled moan, his cock twitching inside Blair and what a feeling that was.
The pain started to ebb and in its place was an all consuming need for more, for Wren to open him up and make a space for himself in Blair’s body that no one else would ever be able to fill. Blair’s cock was furiously red and leaking precome all over himself. He heard a noise that fell somewhere between pleading and demanding, and only realized it was him who made that noise when Wren obliged him and started to move.
Wren kissed him before sliding almost all the way out, then back in, and this time it was all pleasure. Blair clutched at the back of Wren’s neck, keeping their mouths pressed together even if it was overwhelming, almost unbearably intimate to share the same breath as Wren started to thrust into him. He felt taken apart by the slow and steady rhythm. Every time Wren bottomed out, it felt like the air was being forced out of Blair’s lungs and into the mouth of the man above him.
Blair understood all at once why people made such a fuss over sex.
Wren broke the kiss to hitch one of Blair’s thighs a little higher on his side, the angle of his thrusts changing the slightest bit. He resumed that slow, deep pace and Blair cried out as Wren's cock hit his prostate. Blair almost sobbed with pleasure when Wren did it again , the new angle letting him hit the same spot with every thrust. Blair didn’t realize he’d dug his nails into Wren’s neck until he felt skin dragging beneath his fingertips and Wren moaned an unintelligible string of curses.
A particularly hard thrust made Blair’s back arch and his cock slide against Wren’s stomach. “Oh god,” Blair said, the words getting strangled in his throat, caught in the crossfire between a moan and a desperate intake of air.
Sweat clung to both of them, glistening on Wren’s skin as he wrapped his arm around Blair’s waist, raising Blair’s hips up off the bed. “You feel so fucking good,” Wren whispered in his ear, sounding just as wrecked as Blair felt.
“Touch me,” Blair begged.
“No,” Wren said, pushing Blair’s damp hair off his face, an almost sweet gesture compared to his denial. “It’s your first time taking cock, so you’re going to come on my cock.”
Blair couldn’t even move against him for any kind of relief. With his lower body held off the bed, he could only cling to Wren with his legs and take whatever Wren gave him, unable to get any leverage with all his weight resting on his shoulders. The pressure mounting inside him was almost more than Blair could handle. It wasn’t the climb to orgasm that he was used to, with pleasure starting in his dick and moving into him to build higher and higher until he went over the edge; no, Wren was fucking the pleasure into him, filling him with it until Blair just knew it would burst through his skin and bleed him out in ecstasy.
He grasped the side of Wren’s neck and saw his long, dark eyelashes flutter, felt his pace falter for an instant. Blair knew what he needed and maybe he should have taken the opportunity to get back at Wren for refusing to touch his cock, but his hand moved of its own accord. He stroked his fingers over Wren’s neck before wrapping them around it.
“ Fuck ,” Blair cried out as the tension within him threatened to snap. He couldn’t stop shaking. “Fuck, Wren, don’t stop.”
Wren leaned down, uncaring of how it pressed his throat harder into Blair’s hand, choking himself on it to kiss Blair and grabbing Blair’s hand to hold it in place when Blair tried to take it away. Wren released it once he was satisfied that Blair wouldn’t let go and started fucking him harder. Blair didn’t realize just how careful Wren had been with him up until that point, his body getting inched further up the bed with each thrust, and it only took Wren slamming against his prostate once to end him.
Blair came with a wordless cry, his cock pulsing and spilling between them. His whole body jerked with the force of his climax. For a wildly irrational moment, he thought he might have fallen to pieces if Wren’s arms weren’t holding him together. His walls seizing around Wren’s cock must have sent Wren over, too, as Blair felt a rush of warmth inside him. Wren rode out his orgasm with short, sporadic thrusts against Blair’s prostate that made him arch and shiver with overstimulation.
Blair let his hand fall away from Wren’s neck, and Wren gasped as air surged back into his lungs. They were both quiet for a moment, breathing heavily and in Blair’s case, trying to remember how to speak. Wren slipped out of him but Blair kept an arm around him so he couldn’t get up. The feeling of Wren on top of him tethered Blair to the present and kept him from floating into the warm, hazy fog enveloping his brain.
Blair traced the red imprint his fingers had left on Wren’s neck. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I’m fine. I should be the one asking you that.” Wren propped up on his elbows to look down at him. “Are you hurting?”
“I feel good,” Blair said with a grin. Looking in Wren’s eyes made the fog heavier.
Wren laughed. “Oh, you’re in it deep.”
Blair didn’t know what that meant, but he liked Wren’s laugh. He didn’t like that Wren was getting up, though. “Hey,” Blair protested.
“I’m coming back.”
Good. The thought of Wren leaving after all that made Blair’s stomach feel empty and queasy all at the same time. He watched Wren go downstairs, and true to his word, he came right back with some damp paper towels. Wren cleaned them up before getting back on the bed and laying on his side next to Blair, and Blair mirrored him. The bed wasn’t the largest so there wasn’t space between them, but Blair didn’t want space between them.
“You can stay if you want,” Blair said.
Wren draped an arm over him. “I’ll stay for now.”
Blair knew that was the best compromise he was going to get, so he took it. He shifted to get more comfortable, triggering a sharp pain in his lower body that made him wince.
“Sore?” Wren asked, fingers stroking along Blair’s ribs.
“It’s not bad. Got a couple aches here and there but after you’ve been shot in the leg, everything else just kind of tickles.” His head was starting to feel clearer, his thoughts forming into words with much less effort than before.
“You would find the silver lining around a hurricane, wouldn’t you?”
Blair didn’t know what to say to that. He had joined Incindious out of bitterness and loneliness. While he wouldn’t hesitate to lay down his life for them now, his motives to join had been pretty selfish. They dealt weapons to people who would undoubtedly use them to hurt other people, and had their hand in other business ventures including drugs. He didn’t count himself as a good person.
“Hey, Wren?”
“Hm?”
“You said you were only becoming a doctor because it’s what your dad wants. What would you do if you got to pick?”
“I might join a criminal organization and illegally distribute firearms. It seems like fun, you get to go to war and everything.” He laughed when Blair smacked his arm, then said more seriously, “I was going to be a computer programmer. It was the only thing my father ever taught me that I actually liked. Computers were just so much simpler than everything else, so uncomplicated compared to people,” Wren said, eyes darkening so marginally when he mentioned his father that Blair wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t staring at him from such a short distance.
Blair scoffed. “Simple and uncomplicated are real fucking low on the list of words I would use to describe computers, but okay. We would have been good friends in school. I was a skater kid that got adopted by the nerds.”
“You never would have met me before highschool,” Wren said, propping himself on one elbow to look down at him. “And I wasn’t the friendliest person.”
Shocker , Blair wanted to say. Instead he asked, “Why not?”
“I attended most of school in Los Angeles. We didn’t move here until I was a junior,” Wren said, idly tracing the tattoo under Blair’s collarbone. The swirling black and red lines of the flames were still colored in blue by the bruise Wren had left there.
Blair pictured a dotted line appearing from California to New York and his mouth fell open. “Holy shit, why did you move across the country?”
“I don’t know. When I was sixteen, my father said he was moving the business to New York. We were packed and gone within a week.”
Blair hated the tension that settled around Wren when he talked about his father, so he dropped the subject. He turned to yawn into the pillow.
“Go to sleep,” Wren said. “I’ll wake you up before I leave.”
“M’kay.” Blair scooted forward until he could tuck his head against Wren’s neck, and he pushed his calf between Wren’s, just because. It occurred to him after he’d already gotten comfortable that Wren probably wasn’t big on cuddling. Blair wanted to offer to move, but after the almost-fight or whatever the hell that was in the hallway, and then what happened after, he was tired. Besides, he liked the way they fit together. In a lot of ways.