Chapter 43 Let Me Be There for You
let me be there for you
RILEY
I keep my ears pricked, listening to the sounds of the apartment while I dry my body with a towel.
What if Iris is awake? What if she needs me? What if…
I shake my head. This is ridiculous. You fed her and she fell asleep. You were only in the shower for five minutes, besides Hayden is home.
Taking a deep breath, I drop the towel to the floor and slip into a pair of shorts and a blue T-shirt.
I’m combing my hair when there’s a knock on the door. With a little huff, I shake my head. As if he needs my permission to open it.
“Come on in.”
Hayden appears and strides straight to me. Our eyes lock in the mirror, and he arches a brow, looking absolutely unamused.
“What?” I ask.
“You were so desperate for a shower, yet you were in and back out of it in three minutes?”
“In five.”
He smirks. “Ry, our baby girl is asleep in her crib, and I’m here. I’ve got the monitor and everything.” He sets the device on the counter and wraps his arm around my shoulders from behind. “I have a feeling you don’t trust me enough.”
“I trust you.” I put the comb on the countertop and cover the hand he has splayed on my breastbone.
“I just… You’ll be on tour in three months.
I feel like I should start getting used to doing this on my own.
And you’ve been so busy and so tired after rehearsals and studio hours.
I don’t want to put more pressure on you, to add more to your plate. You’re—”
He covers my mouth, cutting me off mid-sentence. I blink up at him.
“You done?” he asks.
I shake my head.
He only rolls his eyes. “Yeah. You are.”
In his reflection, I catch sight of the tiny pair of pointe shoes inked on his hand and my heart melts. He got this one for me. So, in his words, everyone would know that his heart now belongs to a ballerina.
“When you told me you were pregnant, I told you I’d be there for you.
Always. When you said you wanted to keep the baby, I said then we’re keeping her.
She’s just as much mine as she is yours.
” His voice is firm, unwavering. “You don’t get to decide you’re doing this alone.
Not now. Not ever.” With a thumb, he brushes my cheek.
“Don’t worry about my plate, Ry. Let me carry yours for a while.
Let me be there for you. Especially when it comes to our daughter. ”
Slowly, I turn around and wrap my arms around his neck.
“I love you, Hayden. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re an incredible dad…and the best partner I could’ve ever asked for. I’m so lucky you’re mine.”
“I love you too. And trust me, I’m the lucky one here.” He kisses me softly, his fingers brushing over my skin where my T-shirt has ridden up, and when he pulls back, he drinks me in, wearing a small smirk. “You look hot, by the way.”
Groaning, I push him away.
His laughter fills the room as he takes a step back.
Iris is only a month old, and Dr. Bell hasn’t cleared me to have sex yet. Hayden has been supportive and firm in his belief that we follow her orders. It’s just…with him leaving for the tour soon, I can’t shake this stupid feeling that I’m letting him down.
“I know you mean well, but I feel awful making you wait. I’m sorry that—”
He shuts me up, this time stepping into me, making me back away until my ass bumps into the vanity. Arms around my waist, he lifts me and sets me on the countertop.
I wrap my legs around his hips, pulling him closer as he slides his hands down my sides, steering clear of my breasts. My heart is pounding so hard I can barely breathe. This foreplay that can’t go anywhere will be the death of me, and he does it all the damn time.
“Are you going to kiss me?” I loop my arms around his neck.
“I haven’t decided yet.” He grins. “But I picked up a few tricks from my girlfriend.”
“Your girlfriend?” I quirk an eyebrow, the butterflies in my stomach letting loose. “What is she like?”
“My girlfriend is the most beautiful girl in the world. Her eyes remind me of a blue sky just after a storm rolls through and the sun returns. Her lips drive me insane. Every time she says my name, I lose it a little.” He brings his mouth to my ear. “Especially when she falls apart for me.”
God, I want to kiss him so badly. “Is there anything else I should know about your girlfriend?” My voice is a breathy whisper.
“She has a heart of gold. And she’s kind, gentle and compassionate. She always looks out for her friends, and her family means the world to her.” He nuzzles into my neck and nibbles on my skin. “My girlfriend has a great sense of humor and it’s such a pleasure spending time in her company.”
“Is that all?”
“I forgot the most important detail, Ry baby.” He cups my face, his green eyes glued to mine. “My girlfriend is a wonderful mom. The role fits her perfectly. I’m so damn proud of her.”
I inch into him and our lips collide. The kiss is slow, but burning, making my heart race.
Our tongues swirl and dance in the rhythm only they know.
Goosebumps scatter all over my skin as he digs his fingers into my flesh.
Back arched, I press myself closer to him, determined to leave absolutely no space between us.
He grinds against me, his hardness pressing against my core.
A moan springs out of my mouth and the heat in my lower abdomen flares.
Hayden is the one to stop the kiss. He presses his forehead to mine, inhaling deeply. “I’m sorry, Ry. I just wanted you to know how much I want you. Only you. Always only you. And I got carried away.”
I shake my head. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” I give him a quick peck on the lips. “You did everything right. This was a reminder of how we used to be and a promise of what we’ll have again. You make me feel beautiful again. You’re incredible to me, Hayden.”
“I love you.” He kisses my nose, then helps me to my feet. “What do you want to do? Maybe we can have dinner and then watch TV.”
“Absolutely yes.” Smiling, I head out of the bathroom. “Iris behaved today, so I had time to cook one of your favorite meals while you were with the guys.”
“Spaghetti with meatballs?” he asks, following me out of the bathroom. “Pancakes?”
As we step into the kitchen, he trails off and comes to a stop. The place is filled with a scent so familiar he should figure it out quickly.
And he does. “Roasted chicken in sweet-and-sour sauce with rice.” His face lights up. “You’re spoiling me, babe. Can I help you?”
“Nope. Just sit and enjoy the view.”
Hayden is animated, talking about his day in the studio while we eat dinner. The excitement in his eyes when he mentions a new verse or a song idea always makes me smile.
Sometimes, when a topic reminds him of Owen, his mind drifts. But it’s not heavy like it used to be. It’s softer. Almost fond. Like he’s remembering, not hurting. And somehow, that makes me love him even more.
We’ve made it all the way through the meal before Iris wakes up, her pitiful cries echoing from the monitor. Hayden changes her diaper and brings her to me. While I feed our little girl, he stays in the kitchen, washing the plates and mugs.
Mom offered to fly over to help. Willow did too. We told them we were fine. That we wanted to figure this out on our own for now.
Our moms weren’t thrilled, but they understood. And I’ve had to swear to both of them that I’ll call the second I feel overwhelmed.
By the time I finish feeding Iris and settle her back into the crib, my eyes burn with exhaustion. Hayden pulls me to the couch and turns on Outer Banks, saying we deserve at least one episode before calling it a night.
I curl up against him, telling myself I’ll stay awake.
I don’t.
When I wake up, I’m disoriented. It takes a moment to register that I’m in the living room. The lights are off, and I think I heard Iris cry.
It doesn’t surprise me that I fell asleep, but where is Hayden? And why didn’t he wake me up?
With a yawn, I stand and head quietly to our bedroom. As I approach the half-open door, a soft voice makes me pause. I push the door open farther and watch my little family from there.
Hayden is standing by the window, Iris cradled to his bare chest. He’s murmuring to her. His voice is low, steady, almost hypnotic.
I pad to his side, and when I rest my hand on his, he gives me a soft smile. Rising on my tiptoes, I peek over his shoulder at our daughter. The sight melts me completely. Eyes closed, pacifier bobbing gently, Iris is fast asleep.
He shifts, careful and unhurried, and lays her in the crib.
When he comes back to me and wraps his arms around me, I bury my face in his chest, breathing him in.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?”
“We fell asleep on the couch,” he whispers. “I heard her cry, but you were sleeping so soundly. I didn’t want to wake you. I figured I’d try to settle her myself, so you could sleep a bit longer.”
“You shouldn’t have done that. You need to be at the studio at ten, and you need your sleep.”
“It’s not a big deal.” He leans away and looks down at me. “Let’s go back to bed?”
“Uh-huh.”
Even though we’re both exhausted, we don’t fall asleep until our lips are numb from kissing. Hayden holds me against his chest, and all my love for him sits heavy and warm inside me.
I love him. Truly. Without any walls or pretenses. I love all of him.
Hayden found his way into my heart years ago without even trying. Without even knowing. And somehow, he never left.
Honestly? I wouldn’t want it any other way.