Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
Lettie
Sunrise was my favorite part of the morning. I sat on the back porch, coffee in hand, Cerberus beside me, and watched the sun bleed color across the horizon. It reminded me that every new day was an opportunity to make the right choices. Or the wrong ones, depending on your perspective.
Every sunset I reflected on what had gone right and what had gone wrong that day. It helped to empty my soul of anything weighing me down. Any regrets were given to the darkness so they could be transformed in the light. A ritual. A cleansing. The only therapy I’d ever need.
The back door opened, and I smiled.
My guests had been here for three days, and I’d made a friend in an unlikely man. The first morning after I brought them here, I sat on this porch and Cash stepped out shortly after. The air had been cool, damp with dew, smelling of earth and growing things.
Cerberus snarled a low, threatening rumble that vibrated through his massive chest. Cash simply ignored him.
He sat down at the other end of the steps with a coffee cup in hand and stared out over my gardens.
The silence stretched between us, comfortable and easy.
Neither of us needed to fill it with bullshit small talk.
We didn’t say a word until the sun rose.
Then we talked. He told me how he and Kytten met, and about Rachel, his previous old lady.
He shared about the letters she’d left. One for him and one for Kytten.
His voice went rough when he spoke about Rachel, grief and love and acceptance all tangled together in a way that made my chest ache.
It was so romantic and utterly beautiful. The kind of love that transcended death. The kind of love I wasn’t sure existed for people like me.
Cash sat down and ran his hand over Cerberus’ head.
He’d charmed my dog too, and that wasn’t easy to do.
Cerberus still growled every time Mimic walked into the room, but he loved Indie.
He followed Kytten around the house like he was protecting her, guarding her with the same fierce devotion he showed me.
Or the babies she carried.
Cash and Kytten argued relentlessly about whether there was one baby or two.
I was on Team Cash. For how far along she was, she shouldn’t have been showing yet, but with how tiny she was, that could have also explained it.
Given her family history, I’d bet everything I owned they were having twins.
The way her belly curved, the way she moved. It all pointed to multiples.
“Are you going to the funeral?” Cash asked as the sun crept over the horizon. The light turned everything gold, warm and soft and deceptively peaceful.
“I am. I wasn’t going to, but I want to show my support for Rhea.”
“Not Zeus?” he asked with a grin.
“I don’t know Zeus, not really. I’ve only met him in town when he was with Rhea.” I sipped my coffee, and though I was looking out over the backyard, I could feel Cash’s eyes on me. Assessing. Calculating. Trying to figure out what the fuck my deal was.
“What’s your deal, Lettie?”
I smiled and turned to face my new friend. “My deal?”
“How do you support yourself out here in the middle of nowhere?”
“My gardens,” I said, offering nothing more.
“Vegetables? You’re telling me you support not only yourself but your mother with vegetables?”
“Not just vegetables. Herbs and flowers too. I sell everything at the farmers’ market once a month; plus, I have customers who come here to buy directly.
I sell products through a website. Make lotions and creams. Homeopathic medicine.
” It was the truth wrapped in half-truths.
The light side of what I did. The acceptable side.
“What’s that over there?”
My eyes followed to where Cash pointed, and I grinned.
The heavy iron doors, surrounded by ivy and morning glories.
It had taken me years to create the natural fence around it, keeping out not only critters who would eat plants that weren’t good for them, but people too.
Keeping out anyone who might discover what I really grew behind those locked gates.
“That’s my secret garden. Where I grow the plants to make my potions,” I said with a deceiving lilt to my voice. Truth disguised as whimsy. Darkness wrapped in light.
Before he could ask more questions, Kytten shuffled outside, and Cerberus quickly moved, letting her sit between us. She looked exhausted, her hair messy, eyes still heavy with sleep.
“You’re both insane. It’s too damn early to be outside.”
I smiled as Cash leaned over and kissed the side of her head. She took his cup from his hands and sipped his coffee, letting out a contented sigh before handing it back. The intimacy of the gesture made something twist in my chest. Want. Longing. The ache of loneliness I usually kept buried deep.
“I’m surprised you drink the same coffee. I thought all men drank it black.”
“I used to, but she won’t drink a whole cup now that she’s pregnant, even though her doctor said she could. So I make mine the way she likes it.” His voice was soft, tender. The kind of devotion that made my throat tight.
“Oh my God, you two are the frickin’ cutest. I can’t even stand it.”
“They’re disgusting, aren’t they?” Indie said, making me jump. I hadn’t heard the door open, and when she smiled at me, I realized it was because she enjoyed startling me with her ninja capabilities. The girl moved like smoke. Silent and deadly.
I’d taken a chance with Indie and shown her my secret garden.
The second night they were here, I sat in the darkness on this same porch and Indie appeared beside me.
We talked about nothing before she suddenly opened up and shared her story; so I shared mine.
I didn’t have some life-changing event that made me this way.
I’d never been assaulted or kidnapped. Never watched my father beat my mother and wished I could get revenge. There was just something dark inside me that sought justice. Something that had always been there, coiled in my chest like a serpent. Waiting. Hungry.
I wasn’t built for law enforcement, and I didn’t care to go that route. Sure, I could’ve been a lawyer, but all that time inside a school, then a courthouse, and I would wither away. Die slowly under fluorescent lighting and recycled air.
My body needed sunshine, fresh air, and flowers to fill my soul.
But I needed the darkness, too. I needed vengeance. Vigilante justice to feed the side of me I kept hidden. Even now, with the women, and sometimes men, I helped, they saw the light in me, the savior. They believed it was the good in me that led me to them. The compassion. The kindness.
Maybe it was both.
But there was no question that the dark side of my soul craved something I didn’t quite understand myself. Craved the moment when I handed someone the means to their freedom. Craved the news reports of another abuser dead. Another monster removed from the world.
“I think it’s beautiful.”
“You didn’t at first,” Kytten said with a chuckle.
I laughed with her. “No, I didn’t.”
I noticed Cash watching me, then he looked over at the locked gate.
He narrowed his eyes, and I smiled brightly at him before winking.
He shook his head but smiled all the same.
Understanding passed between us without words.
He knew. Maybe not the details, but he knew there was more to me than sunshine and flowers.
I lifted my cup to my lips and tried to hide my grin. My new friend had just deciphered a hint as to how I could afford this quiet life.
Kytten and I climbed into my truck while the others swung onto their bikes.
The rumble of engines filled the air, deep and throaty, vibrating through my chest. Indie chose to ride on the back of Mimic’s bike today instead of her own, and she wrapped her arms around his waist. When she rested her chin on his shoulder, his hand covered hers, and he turned his head to kiss her cheek.
The tenderness in the gesture made my heart clench.
Mimic was an enigma. He loved Indie and Kytten fiercely. But he was standoffish with his parents. Bane and Diana had come for dinner the night before, and while they both doted on Kytten, Mimic stood on the outer ring. Watching. Always watching but never fully engaging.
His parents tried, especially his father. Bane did everything he could to draw Mimic in, but he mostly grunted until Indie elbowed him. Then he’d speak. Short sentences. Clipped words. Just enough to satisfy her.
Their dynamic was fascinating.
To anyone looking from the outside, Indie appeared to be the one in charge.
But if you watched them closely, you’d see the way she let him lead her quietly.
She did nothing without a silent conversation between the two of them.
A glance. A touch. An entire dialogue happening in the space between heartbeats.
Cash and Kytten were different. Loud, but not in volume. Loud in love. Kytten clearly let Cash lead, but he consulted her on everything. From the way he drank his coffee so she’d enjoy it, to the way he explained why he wanted her to... obey wasn’t the right word, but that was what she did.
She didn’t do it silently, though. Sometimes that volume took over, but he’d patiently wait for her to rant and rave. Then he’d speak to her softly, in a way that radiated love. With patience and devotion. The kind of relationship that made me ache with want.
God, I wanted a love like that.
Someone who would nurture both my light and my dark.
Someone who could accept the darker aspects of my soul.
Someone who wouldn’t run when they discovered what I really was.
What I was capable of. I wasn’t sure there was anyone out there like that for me.
Men didn’t want women who poisoned people. Men wanted soft, sweet, uncomplicated.
We pulled up to the clubhouse, and Kytten’s smile fell. I reached across the seat and took her hand.
“Are you okay?”