Chapter Sixteen
Hades
The house was small as fuck, but I still took my time making sure everything was secure.
This place had a lot of fucking windows, and I checked each one carefully because I needed to calm the fuck down before I went upstairs to Raven.
She was shaken by the sudden move, and I couldn’t blame her because that had me fucked up too.
After last night I’d expected a lazy morning of fucking.
Not a phone call from Diesel telling me to get the fuck outta Dodge because the Russians were asking questions.
As I went through the routine of locking down the place, my mind kept going to the question she asked that I couldn’t or wouldn’t answer.
You think there’s a mole in the MC?
That was the only fucking thing that made any sense, but it also didn’t make one iota of sense.
The MC was a tight unit and we knew each other well.
We lived and worked together, knew the baggage we all came with and the hell we’d all been through, as a MC and as men.
Still, I couldn’t stop thinking about who it could be that was feeding info to the Russians.
It was on my mind when I finally got the house locked up tight and joined Raven up in the loft bedroom. “We’re all tucked in,” I told her, startling her from her thoughts. “If anyone comes up here, we’ll see them long before they see us.”
She nodded without turning around, her gaze fixed on the black sky and the endless darkness the trees provided. “Yep.” Her shoulders were bunched up tight, arms wrapped around her waist and her voice was shaky as fuck.
I was too keyed up to sleep, so I opened one of my two bags and pulled out my guns. Cleaning them and checking the ammo was a good way to make me feel like I was doing something useful while giving me something to focus on other than who the fuck was working with the enemy.
“Why are you doing all that?” she asked, pointing to each gun laid out on the cloth.
“To make sure it works properly when we need it to. Don’t want a gun to misfire or worse, fail to fire.”
She turned completely and I felt her gaze on me as I went through the familiar motions of taking one gun apart, cleaning it and putting it back together before moving on to the next one. “Is that a real issue?”
“Not for me,” I shot back before finally looking up at her.
“Because I clean my shit.” I ran through all the probable scenarios of a security breach up here while Raven curled up on the bed with a book she found at the old cabin.
The scenarios allowed me to get out some of the tension and the aggression building up inside of me.
Those Russian assholes had come really close to finding us. Too close. I promised Raven and her brother I wouldn’t let anything happen to her, and I meant that, which meant I needed to focus. And stay calm because she was fucking terrified.
“You’re angry,” she finally said, tossing the book aside.
“What makes you say that?” I responded without looking at her.
She huffed out a laugh. “Because I know you. Also because I have eyes.”
“Beautiful eyes.” I looked at her then and her gaze was fixed on me with an intense expression on her face.
Shock. Disbelief. Desire. And then the wall went up and she rolled her eyes. “Who knew you were such a sweet talker?”
“Definitely not me,” I said honestly. “I’m more of a ‘nice tits’ kinda guy.”
She barked out a laugh, shaking her head with amusement. “Now that, I believe.” Her gaze shot to the windows when the pitter patter of rain began to fall, relaxing only when she realized it was weather, not a threat. “Sorry, I’m being ridiculous.”
I shook my head, tucking all the guns except one back into the bag. “A deadly, international trafficking organization is after you, I don’t think being a little jumpy is ridiculous, Raven.”
“It’s rain, I should know better,” she shot back. I guess that was where we were both similar. We liked to be in control, and all this uncertainty was getting to us. It felt like we were sitting ducks.
“Yeah, but being aware of your surroundings is an excellent defense mechanism to have when dangerous people are hunting you.” I watched her with one brow arched, daring her to challenge me again.
Raven nodded, nibbling her bottom lip the way she did when she was deep in thought.
I watched her as she watched me, noticing the way her pulse raced at the center of her throat and the way her nipples beaded behind her t-shirt.
I don’t know how long we sat like that, staring at each other as the rain came down harder until there was a steady stream of rain slamming against the windows and the roof.
That shit came at us from all sides.
“Were you dating that girl in the Army?”
My brows furrowed. “What girl?”
“The one your CO was messin’ with?” She wrapped her arms around her knees as if she needed to protect herself from the answer.
I barked out a laugh and shook my head. “No. Honestly, I didn’t know her all that well. She was a damn good recruit, her daddy was a preacher and hated that she liked girls instead of boys. That was it.”
Confusion marred her pretty face. “And you just risked your military career for a chick you didn’t even know?”
I shrugged. “That’s kind of the whole point of the military.
Standing up for people you don’t know and keeping them safe.
Even the assholes.” I let out a sigh because I knew Raven wouldn’t be satisfied with a half-answer.
“I noticed how uncomfortable she was around him and I heard some of the shit he said to the guys about her. I knew there wasn’t shit to be done about it, not with the way the hierarchy was set up at the time.
What the fuck was he gonna do, report himself to his CO?
” My hands balled into fists just thinking about the smug prick. “He ain’t so pretty these days.”
She smiled. “You enjoyed beating his ass.”
“I sure as shit didn’t hate it.”
Something in her expression changed, but I couldn’t figure out what. “Do you regret it? That helping someone out cost you everything?”
“It didn’t cost me everything, just the life I thought I would have. The fact that they chose him over me tells me I made the right choice.”
That answer seemed to satisfy her, but she kept watching me as if she was trying to put a puzzle together.
It was my turn to ask a question. “How was it with Viktor for all those years?” The shit that I imagined was fucking my head up and I hoped her life wasn’t quite so bad.
She nibbled her bottom lip again and sat up taller, her gaze never wavered from mine.
An exhale rushed between her slightly parted lips and she nodded, as if talking herself into sharing with me.
“The simple answer is that it was horrible. I was a prisoner not in charge of my own life or freedom, and I wasn’t attracted to Viktor.
That made it all truly terrible. But…” she began slowly, shaking her head and I knew I wouldn’t like what she had to say next.
“I had it better than a lot of other girls. He dressed me up in pretty designer clothes and took me with him on his travels, and most of all, Viktor doesn’t share. Ever.”
“You make it sound like you should be grateful.”
She let out a bitter laugh. “Do you know how many girls who were with his associates told me I should feel grateful for the clothes and the jewels, for being with him? I hated that shit, it felt really fucking gross.” She reached behind her for a pillow, hugging it to her for comfort.
“It was a gilded cage without a doubt, but it was still a fucking cage.”
I nodded as I got to my feet, unable to stand seeing her so shaken.
She was on the verge of tears and her body trembled violently, which was un-fucking-bearable.
I sat beside her on the bed and held her in my arms while she finally let herself cry.
She broke down in loud, soul-shattering sobs that bounced off the walls and windows.
“Let it out,” I encouraged her, cradling her head in one hand and rubbing her back with the other.
One fucking eternity later, those sobs turned into sniffles, and I was so fucking grateful I could’ve cried my damn self. “God, that was dramatic.”
I laughed and dropped a kiss on top of her head. “I want to murder that asshole, you know that, don’t you?”
She laughed, nodding against my shoulder before pulling back to meet my gaze. “Yeah, I’m sensing that. Believe me, I’ve dreamt about all the ways I could kill him.”
“Yeah?” I swiped away the tears before they dried on her cheeks. “How would you do it?”
“I’d either shoot him in the head point blank or slit his throat so that my face is the last thing he sees when he takes his last breath. I want him to know it was me, his favorite property, that took him out.”
“Damn, that is both dark and hot.” I never knew how much I liked a violent chick, but Raven’s mini rant had me sporting a half-chub.
She grinned up at me. “That’s because you are a dirty, dirty weirdo.”
“And don’t ever forget it, darlin’.”
Her expression turned serious and she held my face between her hands. “I don’t want you to kill him, Hades, unless you absolutely have to. Promise me.”
I couldn’t promise that. “Why?”
“Because I don’t want more people dying trying to protect me.” Another tear slipped down her cheek.
“Who died for you, sweetheart?”
She shook her head. “I can’t talk about it. Not yet.”
I wanted to push. Everything in me wanted to make her answer, but I simply nodded and held her close without agreeing. The moment I got the chance, I was taking that asshole out. Raven would never be free, would never know a moment of peace as long as that motherfucker still drew breath.
We stayed like that for a long time, both of us lost in thought while the rain pounded down around us.
Eventually Raven fell asleep in my arms and the sounds of her deep, even breathing relaxed me.
I didn’t sleep, I couldn’t because my mind refused to let go of the picture she painted of her life with Viktor.
I just couldn’t see it, Raven dressed up in designer threads, at his side like some fucking high priced accessory.
She wasn’t meant to be tamed. She was wild, that’s how she was meant to be.
Her soft breaths turned to tight moans and fearful groans.
I didn’t want to wake her, so I simply held her tighter and kissed her cheek and her head until she relaxed into a peaceful sleep again.
I hated seeing those nightmares return but it filled me with pride to know that my touch, my voice, kept her calm.
Surrounded by her warmth and her scent, eventually I fell asleep too.