32. Landry
CHAPTER 32
landry
Daisy blinks at me before giving the slightest nod. Then I bring my left hand to her hip and slide my right around her neck, cradling the back of her head as I drag her in and press my lips to hers. She’s stiff at first, I guess because she’s in shock, but only a second passes before I feel her hands on my chest. She tilts her head to the side and parts her soft lips for me, and I immediately slip my tongue inside.
Damn, she tastes good—like hot chocolate and marshmallows and everything sweet.
My fingers twist into her silky, blonde hair as I continue kissing her, and I’m instantly aware of the different parts of me that we’re awakening. But I don’t want to stop. Allowing myself to give in to this one urge was as good as throwing the doors wide open, because all of the other compulsive ideas I’ve been struggling to keep locked away suddenly come flooding in.
Forget whooping cough. There’s no diverting my thoughts from this.
Because I like kissing Daisy. I like it a lot .
I’d like to try kissing her neck, too, to move my mouth down that line of freckles …
Her hands push lightly against my chest, and she pulls away, surprising me. When I open my eyes, she’s licking her lips and staring at my mouth, and she’s still close enough that I’m already struggling to resist pulling her back in.
“Are you two done or what?” I hear my sister’s voice in the distance. Then she bumps her hip clumsily into my thigh. “Move over, lovebirds. I want a turn.”
I stumble, pulling Daisy with me. But Loren and Blake are both grinning widely at me before they turn to give one another a relatively modest kiss, at least by their standards.
Daisy clears her throat, and I turn my attention back to her. “Um, thank you?” she whispers, but it sounds more like a question.
I run a hand through my hair, unsure of what to say now. I might have been able to play off that first awkward kiss at our wedding, but this is a lot harder to explain. Coming back from this kiss isn’t going to be so simple. Not only have I opened myself up to a new level of temptation, but I’ve also contradicted Daisy’s assumptions about me having an aversion to physical contact. The truth is that I don’t mind it one bit when Daisy touches me, and I sure as shit don’t hate kissing her.
Gah, what am I doing? I can’t let this ? —
“Landry?” she asks quietly. “Are you okay?”
I realize I’m frowning and attempt to soften my expression. “Yeah, of course. Are you?”
She shrugs and forces a smile. “Mm-hmm.”
I sigh. I know I’m confusing the hell out of her.
“I think I’m ready to go,” I begin. “I mean, if you want to stay, I can come back for you later …”
“No, that’s fine. You can take me home now,” she says quickly, and I have to shake my head lightly to erase the thoughts she conjures up.
“Then we should probably get out of here before?—”
“Whoa, where are you running off to now?” Loren calls, and I roll my eyes.
“Home. It’s been a long day,” I mumble as she and Blake approach.
“You mean it’s gonna be a long night?” she retorts, and Daisy blushes again.
“Lo,” I growl. “Don’t start.”
She lifts her hands up in surrender. “Fine. This is me respectfully butting out of your love life. See how that works?”
I grind my teeth together and inhale deeply, trying to avoid biting her head off. I know my sister means well and that I deserve to be teased after all the crap I’ve pulled with her and her boyfriends over the years, but she doesn’t understand that this is a touchy situation right now.
“Yeah. Good night,” I manage in a somewhat neutral tone, and I catch Blake winking at Daisy out of the corner of my eye.
I lead her on to my Jeep, and the ride home is quiet. But there’s a different kind of tension in the air now. By the time we make it into the house, I feel like crawling out of my own skin. I want to stop Daisy and talk this out, for her to reassure me that it was just a chemical reaction and that she didn’t feel the same things I did during that kiss. I need to know we’re okay and that things can go back to normal between us. But I’m scared I’ll hurt her, and I’m even more afraid of having to admit that I want to kiss her again.
“Landry, wait.” Daisy reaches out to grab my sleeve once we’re inside, and I turn to face her. “I have a confession to make,” she begins, her eyes drifting down. “I … I don’t know how to say this, but … I enjoyed it. You know, when you kissed me in front of everyone.”
I press my lips into a hard line, trying to keep my expression blank. “You mean you enjoyed being physically affectionate with someone in public?”
She shakes her head softly, though I expect her to laugh. “Well, yeah, that’s definitely part of it. But …” She bites her lip, and I gulp, because I want to bite it, too. “It felt like more than an opportunity or a favor this time. I may not have a lot to compare it to, but I have been kissed before. And this was a really good kiss, at least for me.”
“Hmm,” I hum, pretending to consider what she’s saying, when I’m really just trying to drag my eyes away from her mouth. “Aside from the peer pressure aspect, I guess it wasn’t half bad.”
“So you enjoyed it, too?”
I shrug, trying to look aloof. “I certainly didn’t hate it.”
This time I elicit the smallest of smiles from her, and she crosses her arms as she glances coyly at me. “Your tolerance for PDA has improved, at least.”
“You make it easy for me,” I reply without thinking. But I shouldn’t be flirting with her like this anymore, not when we can’t keep this up. “And I figured you’d have wanted more than a little peck, at least in front of your coworkers.”
Her shoulders sag. “You only kissed me like that in front of everyone because you felt sorry for me, then?”
“Not exactly. But I didn’t want to embarrass you more than I already had.” My voice cracks.
Then she shakes her head and steps forward. “Hold on. I want to see something. Just humor me for a second, okay?” She stands so close that our bodies are nearly touching, and I can’t help the way my breathing quickens. Her hands slide up my chest, and she curls her fingers into my shirt. And it all makes my heart beat so fast that I’d swear I was staring out the side of a plane and preparing to jump.
She waits for my consent, but I barely get an “Okay” out before her lips are on mine again. It only takes a second for all of my logic and reason evaporate. The only thing on my mind is the silky softness of her hair between my fingers, the heat from her body pressing into mine, and the chocolatey sweetness of her tongue in my mouth. A low moan escapes her throat, spurring me on. My mind wanders into dangerous territory, and I can’t help but imagine what it would be like if we were lying in bed together, her bare skin against mine, the things I could do to her and the sounds she would make.
It’s not just that, though. Kissing Daisy feels good in ways I’ve never experienced before. There’s also a different kind of warmth coursing through me. It’s a mix of comfort and relief washing over me, but stronger. It feels like she’s … consoling me.
But she breaks away and steps back, and that restlessness immediately returns. My chest heaves as I force myself to let go of her, and my head pounds from the leftover adrenaline. I growl and run my hands through my hair, already disgusted with my lack of self-control.
“I’m sorry,” she chokes out.
When I glance up, she looks apologetic, and I realize she thinks I’m angry with her for kissing me. “No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m frustrated with myself, Daisy, not with you,” I choke out.
“Because you kissed me back, even though no one was around to see it?”
“Yes.” I breathe out a sigh. “Because now that I’ve given in to my impulses, I’m worried I won’t be able to get that version of myself under control again.”
“I thought we agreed to be honest, though. Now that we’ve acknowledged our,” she pauses and shrugs shyly, “physical chemistry, wouldn’t it make things more awkward if we tried to ignore it?”
I shake my head, trying to rid myself of the wildly inappropriate thoughts I had a minute ago. “You don’t understand. I can’t risk letting that guy out around you. In fact— shit . I promised Rowan I wouldn’t.”
Yes, that’s it. Think of everyone you’re letting down, I tell myself.
She frowns and crosses her arms again. “Let me guess—you’re going to say that was all a natural reaction to me forcing myself on you?”
“Of course. I mean, it makes perfect sense, right? I haven’t gotten much action in a while, and you’re still eager to gain experience. It stands to reason that we’d both enjoy the physical connection for what it is. It doesn’t have to signify anything.” Maybe if I’m convincing enough, I’ll believe it, too.
“Yeah. That tracks,” she mutters bitterly.
“We can work around this,” I continue, ignoring the pang of guilt in my chest. “We’ll just have to be more careful and cut out anything that could lead to it happening again.”
“So no more mistletoe.” Her voice is dry and sarcastic. Because I did that to her. I didn’t just break my promise to keep anything from happening between us; I made her bitter. I broke her spirit.
“Right,” I say, forcing a smile. Regardless of whether I can control my feelings after this, I can’t let her see what she does to me, or she won’t let me leave when the time comes. The only way to protect her is to remind her that I’m not what she needs.
She shrugs and looks away. “Yeah, well thanks for being my date tonight. I appreciate the effort you put into your performance.”
She’s pissed. Good.
I hate that I’m making her feel so bad. But I absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, set her straight.
“My pleasure, Blondie,” I mumble.
“And don’t worry, I won’t impose on you again.” She turns on her heels and stomps off to her bedroom, and I lean against the wall, letting my head fall back and heaving out a sigh. Because every cell in my body wants to go after her and make sure she knows that she’s my favorite imposition.