Chapter 10 Gracie
Suggested Listening: Sex and Candy by Marcy Playground
E zra, Vyslan, and I lie on our stomachs, clutching pillows, eyes glued to the screen. I don’t know about them, but I am holding my breath. The show, Two Humans and a Demon, is the most unhinged, hilarious thing I’ve seen in a really long time. It’s combined the whimsical sitcom vibe from the sixties with demonic sensibilities. Which means we’ve been treated to full nudity and a much wider range of profanity than I can understand.
Back when we started watching, and I had a few more active brain cells, Vyslan explained that humans have irrevocably changed their world. Their language has been the biggest victim. Before humans somehow figured out how to summon beings from their world, they had two distinct languages. Old Demonic and Common. Old Demonic has another name that humans can’t say because we lack the second set of vocal chords that give demons their discordant voice quality. Also, because it’s a law now. Demons cannot teach humans Old Demonic because that’s how they end up summoned here. Now humans have to randomly make noises in an estimation of Old Demonic until they happen to hit on a demon’s name. That’s if they can’t afford to acquire a known name. And demonic names in our world go for thousands to millions of dollars. I’ve heard the stories.
Our best guess is that Russ made a lot of hacking and gagging sounds that were a rough approximation of Vyslan’s true name. Which is how we theorize Vyslan got here.
When it comes to the demonic languages, Common is the real looser. Apparently, it was close enough to English that our language began influencing theirs and now they’re practically the same.
Ezra grips my wrist gently. I can see his wide-eyed gaze in my peripheral vision locked on the TV.
We’re only four episodes in, but I already know I need to see every season of this show. It’s hilarious how inaccurate and just plain wrong most of the so-called human stuff is.
For example, none of the doors have doorknobs. They’re all push-open doors. Even the front door to the duplex the two humans and their surprise demon roommate live in. When they want to lock the door, they have to put a legit two-by-four across it. The idea of all the doors in the house swinging open randomly gives me nightmares.
Suddenly, my phone cackles from amidst the blankets and pillows.
All three of us jump at the sound.
“Is that your cellular device?” Vyslan asks, aghast.
“Cellular device?” Ezra says in a poor imitation of our demon. “He calls it a cellular device!”
I roll my eyes and wave at them to be quiet. Vyslan already has the TV paused. I sit back on my heels and tap the screen.
“Hey Brie,” I croak into the phone. The pain is still there, but it’s swaddled in a floaty, warm feeling that isn’t all that bad.
“Hey! Bad time to pop into the house?”
“Uh, no?”
“Great! I forgot my tablet and thought I’d grab a few sandwiches for lunch. You know, so we don’t have to go get something.”
I clutch my robe around me—I’m still not wearing a stitch under it—and crawl off the foot of the bed. “Yeah. I’ll make the sandwiches.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I need to tell you about this show Vys has us watching.”
“Oh, he’s Vys now?”
I glance over my shoulder to ensure the bedroom door is shut and lower my voice as I move into the kitchen. “I guess so.”
“Be there in a sec!”
Briella ends the call and I pocket my phone. Which leaves me blinking at the fridge.
Why am I in here again?
I brace my hand on the counter and sigh. “Housey, why am I in the kitchen?”
We’ve never addressed the house by any sort of name. I’m not sure why. But Ezra keeps making comments to Housey, and the house is most definitely responding.
The fridge door swings open and the drawer where we keep the sliced meat and cheese glides out.
Oh, right! Sandwiches.
I grab what we have and set it on the counter as the rolling top to the bread box lifts. “I feel bad that we’ve never given you a name, dude. I guess I figured you had one and it would be rude to try to rename you. I’m sorry about it.”
The cabinet doors clatter softly, and I’m not sure if she’s saying don’t worry about it or you’re a fucking bitch .
“I know!” I say as the front door opens and Briella comes in. “We should get those magnetic letter things and you can use those to tell us shit.”
“Who are you talking to?” Briella asks as she peers around. Her fiery hair is pinned up with a set of crystal rods that look lovely with the black maxi dress. The purple witchweed blooms around the hem, just tie the whole outfit together.
“Housey.” I gesture to the house around us. “She needs a better name.”
The French doors near the dining table slam shut violently, causing both Briella and I to jump.
“Holy shit,” she wheezes. “I don’t think she likes that suggestion. When did our house get a gender?”
“Uh, not sure. Ezra just started talking to the house, calling her Housey and, well—fucking goddess!”
“What?” Briella yelps.
I wave a slice of bread at her. “You know that weird pipe squeaking sound we hear every now and then?”
“Yeah,” she says slowly.
“It’s Housey laughing at us .”
“Gracie, babe, how much have you had today?”
“Oh, fuck you. Not that much. Vyslan got us watching this bonkers show from his world called Two Humans and a Demon about this demon that gets accidentally summoned during this wild, hippy party on earth. The guys have no idea what they’ve done. The demon doesn’t know how to get home. So he’s just masquerading as a human trying to fit in. It’s so fucking funny.”
“Okay,” she says even slower. “Not what I expected you’d be doing today. So you’re what? Binging demonic TV with your two new boyfriends?”
That word hits me in the chest and gut. Warmth spreads through my body and I have to bite my lower lip, but my hopeful grin can’t be contained. I’m scared to hope, but the more time I spend just being around Vyslan and Ezra, the more right it feels.
Briella wags her finger at me. “I fucking knew it. Poppy and I fucking knew it! Ezra is so into you. Puck has got to get over himself and accept that he must share.”
Mentioning that name is like an ice cold bucket of puke. I shudder and gag a little.
“Oh, don’t be that way. I know you’re pissed at him, and you have every right to be pissed. But he’s fae , Gracie. It’s just the way they are. You can’t be mad at him forever.”
“You’re right. I won’t be. Because in a few months, I won’t even remember his name. Puck who?”
She purses her lips and just stares at me.
The floorboards under my feet lift, tipping me off-balance, and I fall back against the counter with a squeal. The breadbox slams shut then rasps open again.
“I’m making the sandwiches. I’m making the sandwiches!” I shout at the house.
“Holy shit, did you get the house high? And how do you know the house is laughing at us?”
“Because this show is really fucking funny and when we laugh, the pipes squeak. Every. Damn. Time.” I slap the sandwiches together and plop them into a container before turning to slide it across the counter to Briella.
She watches me with wide eyes. “Okkkaaaayyyyyy.”
“Next girl’s day, you’re both watching two episodes.”
She cringes. “You know Poppy isn’t going to do that.”
I sigh and nod. “Yeah. Probably not.”
“What’s happening in the show right now that’s so funny?”
I can’t help but snicker. “Okay, so we’re on episode five. The demon has finally made contact with another demon. So while the two humans—oh fuck! The humans are played by vampires, but they’re so pale that they have to cake on foundation for them to look kind of human. It’s so bad, and half the time the blonde one is wearing the wig backwards. It makes it ten times funnier. Anyway, the humans are on their way home. They’re trying to figure out how they know him still and how they got to be roommates. Anyway, the demon let all these other demons into the house to get the scoop on being in our world, and now these other demons don’t want to leave. It’s a train wreck.”
“It sounds weird.” She picks up the sandwiches. “So things are going well? You feeling better?”
“Eh, I think I’m down to a five. Need me to come in?”
“No! No. I mean, you’ve got demon dick to worry about. How’s that going?”
“We finally got some shorts delivered, so he’s not swinging it around all the time.”
Briella legit stomps her foot and hisses in a high-pitched-hushed tone that only she is capable of. “That is not what I’m asking and you know it!”
“We haven’t…” I make a lewd gesture with my finger and fist.
“What the fuck were you doing in there last night?”
“A lot of licking,” I whisper-yell back at her. “It was a consent thing, I guess?”
“Oh. That’s unexpected. I’m telling Poppy because you know she’s freaked the fuck out and about to call her mom.”
“Don’t let her do that. Vys is… He’s a good demon.”
“Oh. My. Goddess. You’re crushing on him!”
I dive at her and cover her face with my hands. “Sh!”
We stare at each other over her hands. I know I’m being ridiculous. I’m also too high to care. “It’s complicated…”
I’m not going to tell her about Ezra’s bi-awakening or how I’ve suddenly had the scales removed from my eyes and I can see how not-subtle he is with his big heart eyes. I don’t think Ezra has it in him to be casual about anything. He’s all-in from go. There is no turning back.
“Well, I’m going to go,” Briella says, her words muffled by my hands. The floorboards under her lift and she stumbles backward, arms windmilling. “Shit! I got the hint, Housey.”
“Hey, will you order some letter magnets?” I ask.
Briella braces a hand on the back of the sofa we really need to get rid of. There are three in our living room. She gapes at me. “Uh, I don’t think we need to. Look.”
I peer over my shoulder at the fridge, where a rainbow of letters now form the words:
bye Briella don’t come home early
I can’t help but snicker as I lean on the counter behind me. “Did Zephyr stay to help?”
Her lips twist up. “Uh, yeah. Why?”
“Interesting,” I say slowly and smile.
Briella’s spine goes ramrod straight, and she glares at me. Zephyr was hired to assist with deliveries, but mostly he’s her bodyguard. A very attentive, always available, and answers on the first ring kind of bodyguard. Cerdan is the same way with Poppy. I’m beginning to think all three of us have been blinded by stress and unable to see what’s been growing around us.
“Hope they don’t break your spine,” she says in an I-hope-they-do tone. She flips me off as she heads for the front door.
I don’t know if getting up and moving or the conversation has pepped me up, but I feel more alert. Maybe not as good as I wish, but I think it’s time for a shower. Or a bath. Oh, that sounds nice .
I throw together three sandwiches, grab some lavender flavored soda water, and head for the bedroom. I shoulder the door open and freeze, taking in the moment happening without me.
Honestly? It looks a lot like Vyslan tackled Ezra with his crotch, the way he’s holding him down, hips pressed to Ezra’s face. The strangled noises don’t help. Thank goodness Vyslan is in his more human form because he’d probably demolish Ezra’s throat with his meat stick.
“Don’t mind me,” I say, recovering first. I don’t think Ezra can see anything due to Vyslan’s megga thighs.
“You’re back,” Vyslan says cheerfully.
“Yup. Here’s a post-coitus snack. Have fun with that. I’m going to go take a bath.” I place two of the napkin wrapped sandwiches and two bottles on the nightstand. Ezra can’t eat the food. But I can’t help but make him one, anyway. I figure Vyslan’s the size of two people and will take care of it.
Ezra’s hands flail a moment before he starts patting Vyslan’s hips. I’m not envious of the view, considering he’s probably staring at Vys’ taint right about now.
“Want to join in?” Vyslan asks.
“No, I’m going to take a bath. Then we can talk about it.” I’m not opposed to giving head. I’m just way more interested in other ways we might fit together.
He tosses his head back and groans, “Fuck!”
I chuckle and head into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I suppose that moment should be strange, but we’ve just spent a night sleeping together naked and then the last few hours snuggled up with plenty of groping. It would be weird if sex didn’t happen.
I pause on the tile floor, frowning at what was once a small-but-comfortable bathroom with an antique claw-foot tub.
“Housey, what the fuck did you do?” I whisper.
Long ago, I learned to not question the dimensions of rooms and how they fit together. They will never make sense. But this is probably the most egregious case of Narnia-ing the house yet. The bathroom is huge. The floors are now a black and white diamond pattern with lavender shiplap walls. The vanity has three sinks, three mirrors, and four sets of cabinets, not to mention the new linen closet set into the wall on my right. The real shocker is the walk-in glass shower and tub big enough for at least a few people.
Moments like this I have to wonder, what the fuck is my house? How does it do this stuff?
The two tub faucet handles twist and water begins pouring into the tub.
“Okay. Okay!” I mutter and quickly cross to set my meal down on the tile surrounding the tub. There are candles and a smoky colored jar full of what I quickly discover is some sort of lavender bath salt. “I don’t know if I love you, or if this is creepy.”
The pipes creak a little, sounding almost like a girlish giggle.
“That was pretty cute,” I admit and sigh. “Okay, but we need ground rules. When the clothes come off, I need you to just close your eyes on these rooms. I’m feeling a little weird about this new stage in our friendship. And to be fair, Briella and Poppy have never watched me have sex, so…”
There’s this whooshing sound in the pipes that sounds a bit like a sigh.
“I don’t know what that means. Since you can turn the water on, how about you turn the right sink on for yes and the left one on for no? Can you do that?”
The right sink immediately turns on, then off.
“Cool. Not spooky at all. Kind of digging this. Can you respect our privacy?”
Again the right sink turns on, then off.
I relax a little. “Thanks for looking out for me, Housey. Are you dead set on that name?”
The right tap turns on and stays on.
“Ug. Can we, I don’t know, get creative with the spelling?” I lean over and stopper the tub, then adjust the water to just below scalding. Satisfied, I dump a lot of the salt in the tub. “I don’t know if you’re still saying yes about the name or if you’re open to creative spelling.”
The right tap turns off, then right back on before going off again.
“Okay, so how do you feel about spelling it H-a-u-s-e-e? Or maybe accenting that last e? Hausé?”
All the taps turn on, then off in a chaotic pattern that just sounds… Happy.
A pang of sadness hits me. “Hausé? I’m sorry I never thought about trying to talk with you more before.”
The taps turn off and only the middle one is on.
I tilt my head to the side. “I’m not sure what that means. Something between yes and no?”
The tap turns off and the right one flicks on, then off.
“Are you trying to tell me it’s okay?”
Again, the right tap turns on.
“Okay. We’re going to work on this, and maybe I’ll write up a spell to let us actually talk. I want you to know that I really appreciate you being here for Dad and me all this time.”
The cabinets flutter and clap while the pipes creak and the sinks turn off and on. Then it’s quiet.
I’m not sure if Hausé is still with me, or if she’s given me space. I’m also not sure how I just know the house has a preferred gender. It’s just a vibe, like Ezra talks about. This nurturing, warm presence that feels feminine. Like a big sister that’s been watching over me.
I shed the robe and step into the tub. With how massive it is, this is going to take an hour to fill and I don’t care. I sit cross-legged facing the side of the tub with my face over the tile and eat my sandwich as the warm water soaks into my skin and relaxes my already rubbery muscles.
No part of me saw this outcome. That I’d be happily eating my lunch in a luxurious bath while my not-quite boyfriends molest each other on the other side of the door. Even when Puck and I were good, there were times where I remember thinking about how I wished he had somewhere else to be. That I could have a damn moment of peace.
Maybe we weren’t really compatible? My heart twinges at the idea and emotions clog my throat for an instant, but it passes.
I really did love Puck. But I have to love myself more. That’s what Dad says about my mother when she left. When he’ll talk about her. Which is less and less often. Not that I want to bring her up.
Sometimes I wonder about her. If I wanted to, I know I could find her. The coven members have encouraged me to do it often enough. Likely because they want to manipulate a powerful witch into joining their coven. They’d take either my biological mother or father. But the spells that would allow me to find her are bound by consent. I have to want to find her, and I don’t. There’s also the strong possibility that if she’s as powerful as people think she is, she could block the spell. I’ve never gone that route because I don’t want to know how deeply her abandonment runs. And I have no interest in meeting the woman who left me hours after I was born. I don’t want answers. And I don’t care about her reasoning. I know everything I need to about her just by looking at my dad.
He’s a kind, gentle giant of a man. And she not only took advantage of him and cheated on him, but left a child that wasn’t his for him to raise. And he stepped up.
My dad is amazing. And I’m so happy I was left with him. I hate that my presence has caused him a lot of problems, but whenever I’ve brought it up, he says it was all worth it. That I’m the daughter of his heart and soul. Then he traces my tattooed freckles and smiles at me like I’m the center of his world.
Who needs a shitty excuse for a mother when I have him?
I haven’t ruled out looking up my sperm donor, but based on the company he was keeping? I don’t have high expectations. My plate is full enough as it is. And I’m not looking for another father figure in my life. Dad’s got that covered.
My meal finished, I lie back in the hip-deep water and slip down so I’m completely stretched out.
Damn. Hausé really did me a solid here. I loved that old claw-foot tub, but it was not made for wide hips.
Suddenly, the bathroom door opens, and a shadow looms over me. I crack an eye open as Vyslan stomps across the bathroom tile with Ezra slung over his shoulder, fully clothed.
“Is he dead again? Or did you ruin his throat?” I ask.
Vyslan steps into the tub only for his foot to slip on the bottom. His eyes go wide as his ass plops down on the tile. He hisses, one hand going to clutch his cherry red balls, while Ezra is unceremoniously dumped sideways over my legs into the tub. He lands like a rock, limbs held tight to his body, and stares straight ahead with wide what-the-fuck eyes. His face glistens with what I can only imagine is saliva and cum.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” Vyslan howls and rolls backward, stretching out on the tiled side of the tub to tenderly cup his manhood.
“Fuck is right,” Ezra says in a rough voice. He pulls his T-shirt up over his head and tosses it onto the tile with a wet slap.
“You will pick that up off my brand new bathroom floor later, right?” I ask.
He squints. “It’s not me then. The bathroom is…”
“A completely different room with four times the space to accommodate at least three people? Yeah. Hausé got creative. She’s moved and redone rooms before, but not usually this drastic.”
“Is she listening?” Ezra whispers as his hands swirl in the water.
Vyslan turns and wiggles his toes under my thighs, then shoves me sideways.
“Hey!” I yelp as everything but my ass slides.
He pitches into the tub, arms wrapping around me, and drags me onto his lap and well out of the water. I wiggle a bit, but all that gets me is placed between his legs.
“Are we really at the bathing together relationship stage?” I grumble.
“Yup,” Vyslan says, all breezy and easy like.
“You two have fun?” I ask and look at Ezra to check in with him.
His cheeks are stained red and he won’t look at me, but the corners of his mouth are upturned.
“Puppy Daddy, hey.” Vyslan nudges Ezra with his foot. “Use your words.”
“Yeah. Yes, we’re having fun,” he says as the barely there smile transforms into a grin.
I think I’d want Vyslan on a permanent basis if only to see that look on his face.
“This feels real nice,” Vyslan drawls and scoots lower, which causes me to lie back over his chest. His tail twitches under the delicate foam from the must-have-been-more-than-salts concoction.
“Mm, isn’t it?”
“You drooling, Daddy?” Vyslan asks. His hands skim over my hips and thighs.
I crack an eye open to watch Ezra wipe his hand over his face. It helps to focus on him and not my acute case of nerves when it comes to being so exposed. I feel a little bit like a beached whale, but being surrounded by the hot water and Vyslan feels so damn good. My give a damn is slipping.
“Maybe,” he mutters.
“You could always use your words,” Vyslan says in a sing-song voice.
Ezra locks gazes with me. “I think his heat is, uh, ramping up.”
I smirk. “You don’t say?”
“Ezra is a natural at sucking cock. Firm ten out of ten stars,” Vyslan interjects.
“He eats pussy pretty damn well, too.” Just thinking about last night has me rubbing my thighs together.
Vyslan leans forward so his mouth overs next to my ear. “Hey, Gracie? What do you say we show Ezra how much we appreciate his attention?”
Ezra freezes with his hand pressed to his mouth and eyes wide. He’s still wearing his athletic shorts, but that does nothing to hide his erection.
“I’m down,” I say without hesitation.
Vyslan gives me a little push to help me up. The tub is so damn big I actually have to crawl a few feet to the other side where he’s pressed into the corner. The demon is right next to me and grabs Ezra’s knees, twisting him so Vyslan can sit on his other side. The water is going to get too high for this to be convenient pretty soon, so there’s no sense in wasting time. Besides, I’ve been thinking about being fucked by both of them since last night. I get why Vyslan was cautious, and I appreciate his ability to read the situation. But after a little soak, some food, and the weed, I’m ready.
There’s this easiness that’s also thrilling between us. I’m not self-conscious. In fact, I’m eager to please Ezra and show him just how much I adore him.
Reaching over, I slip my hand past the waistband of Ezra’s shorts like I’ve often wanted to. He sucks in a breath, as if he can escape me that way. My knuckles bump against the base of his shaft, and I wrap my hands around him. It’s a nice cock. Not too long. Not too thick. Just the perfect larger-than-average size.
“I want to see,” Vyslan whines.
Instead of—I don’t know, pulling Ezra’s shorts down—Vyslan shreds the fabric.
Ezra gasps and flinches as the elastic snaps free. Not that it came anywhere near his dick.
I swing my leg over his thighs so I’m sitting on his knees and begin stroking him hand-over-hand, watching the way his deathly pale skin flushes red at the tip.
“Isn’t that a sight, Ezra?” Vyslan whispers.
“Y-yeah. Fuck, Gracie. Fuck .”
I want him to feel as good as he makes me feel. Knowing he’s been into me for a whole year has me eager to make up for lost time.
Leaning forward, I wrap my lips around the tip of his cock and suck.
“Gracie!” he yelps at the same time his hips jerk up, forcing his cock deeper into my mouth. He sits back down immediately. “Shit. Gracie?”
This sweet, gentle vampire has always put me first. I just never realized it. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own drama while trying to keep my distance from him that I missed so many things. I sink down, taking more of him in my mouth, and rub the underside of his cock with my tongue while the warm water splashes my face.
“Oh, God. Fuck. Gracie. Fuck.”
Vyslan snickers. “You’re certainly using your words now.”
Ezra pushes his hand through my hair, fingers gently tugging at my roots. “Gracie, I want… Can…? Will you sit on my cock? Please?”