Chapter 15 Gracie
Suggested Listening: Dotted With Hearts by HorrorPops
“ I t’s strange to head home without Ezra, isn’t it?” Vyslan asks.
I deflate like a balloon behind the wheel while we idle at a red light. Here I thought the anxiety and plain old jealousy making me crabby was all some sort of weird, selfish response. I miss Ezra and Vyslan’s constant banter, how they make me laugh and kind of forget all our troubles.
“So it’s not just me?” I ask.
“No, sweet witch.” He reaches over and takes my hand.
We stare at each other for a moment. While it’s good to know I’m not alone in having separation anxiety, it also makes it far more difficult to ignore the glaring issue we have yet to discuss.
I’ve enjoyed having Ezra and Vyslan constantly underfoot for the last week. We’ve been in our own bubble, fucking and working and laughing together. Growing closer. And catching feelings.
Ezra has it bad for Vyslan. I like him, too. But, I’m more cautious about my heart. I can’t give it to Vyslan freely without some form of assurance. But Ezra? I think he’s already all-in. And none of us are talking about it.
The light turns green and I grip the wheel, focusing on the road ahead.
Puck was my first real boyfriend. Sure, I dated a little in high school and college, but Puck was the one that mattered. I have pitifully little experience having the difficult relationship conversations, but it has to happen. I need to do this for Ezra and myself.
“What are your long-term plans?” I ask then wince. Way to sound vague.
Vyslan taps his fingers against the door in time to the music and stares out of the window. He’s silent, his face devoid of emotion. I know he heard me, so I wait to see if he understands my meaning or tries to dodge the question.
We drive several blocks before he draws in a deep breath and sighs.
“I should have left immediately,” he says. “You two were too tempting. Too perfect to pass up. And now… Now I’m afraid I will bring disaster to your doorstep and drive a wedge between you and your friends.”
He isn’t wrong. Poppy freaks out if she happens to be in the same room with him. Hausé has added some square footage to the bedroom, but we’re still three people living in a single room. It’s not sustainable.
“Leave Poppy to me. What kind of danger are you talking about?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. I’m an archdemon, Gracie. I have many enemies. What if they learn where I am? What if they come after you?”
“You think they could take me?”
“You’re obviously a capable witch. I don’t know.”
“And Ezra?”
“Hm. It would have to be a demon on my level. I think in a true fight, my experience and strength would be too much for him. But I also don’t think we really understand the scope of his strength. What you’ve done to him is remarkable.”
“I didn’t mean to do anything to him…”
“I have several vampire friends. The stronger ones were tethered to their sires for a shorter amount of time. Thanks to you, Ezra was never really subject to that. It stands to reason you have given him an incredible gift. One that will allow him to keep the both of you safe. Don’t mistake my words, Gracie. What you did was wonderful, not terrible.”
I nod slowly, his words appeasing my guilt. “If safety and Poppy weren’t a factor, what would you do?”
I hold my breath and wait.
He shifts in his seat and fiddles with the vent. “I think I’d like to stay.”
I blow out a breath, my hands shaking, and swallow. I hadn’t realized how much my insides had knotted up thinking about this moment. About what choice he would want to make.
“The way I see it, Ezra is already in love with you.” I glance at him. “You realize that, don’t you?”
He does this weird smile-grimace thing and nods. “He has no in-between, does he?”
“Nope. And I guess that’s what… That’s what I love about him.” Fuck, just saying the l-word is hard. “It’s hard for me to open up like this to anyone. Ezra… I didn’t really have a choice. He wore me down. And I like you, Vys, I really do. But my need to protect Ezra supersedes what I feel for you. So I need to know… If I can deal with Poppy, do you think this would work? Do you think you could stick around? Maybe wear me down a bit more until I feel safe…? Don’t answer right away.”
He inclines his head, and we lapse into silence. My insides roil and rock the rest of the way.
It’s true. I don’t love him. Yet. I’m in lust with him, really. And those feelings are growing. There is an awful lot to like. Which is a strange place to find myself. My pain revolving around Puck sits next to these bright, hopeful emotions. How is it I can be thrilled, hopeful, and utterly destroyed all at the same time?
We turn away from the busier areas and onto the narrow lane that runs along this forgotten stretch of near-wilderness along the flood zone. Trees shelter us overhead and I watch the left side of the road. Puck has been making daily attempts to come to the house. Never anything forceful. It’s almost like he’s knocking to see if we’ll answer, and when we don’t, he takes the hint and goes the fuck away. But I still know he’s there, watching, waiting.
And for what?
What the hell does he want?
I’m past my annoyance with Briella, Poppy, and even Hausé for expressing their feelings about wishing Puck and I would get back together. Now I’m just wondering, what do they see that I don’t? Why was a powerful, connected fae even interested in me? And should I hear him out? Should I listen to why he wasn’t around for six damn weeks?
I turn onto our driveway, my thoughts spiraling into a dark, angry place.
Neither Poppy’s truck nor Briella’s hatchback are there.
Good.
I’d like to sit on a stool and help Vyslan with dinner while we wait on Ezra to get back from his errand.
Vyslan reaches over and touches my wrist as I kill the engine. “Wait a moment, will you?”
“Okay,” I mutter.
He’s already out of the car and jogging around to my side.
Ezra always makes a point to open my door and grab my things, like I’m some dainty lady. It’s both irritating and endearing. I’ve never been doted on before, and it’s maybe not the easiest adjustment. But I’m learning to value the effort.
Vyslan reaches in and pulls me to my feet. Hell, he’s half holding me up on my tiptoes as we stand there next to the car. He’s dropped part of the disguise and now stares at me with eyes like embers searching my face.
“I want to make the effort. I want to be here with you and Ezra. I want to protect the both of you, but if at any point I think I’m putting you at risk I will leave. I would rather give you up, knowing you’re on this side, then risk losing you for all time.”
“It can’t be your decision. You can’t just tell me you’ll up and abandon us. Can you pause and think for a moment about what that would do to Ezra just knowing there’s the possibility he might lose you?”
Vyslan nods slowly. “I see your point. Very well. It would be a conversation. And perhaps an alternative solution would be for you to come with me for a time?”
It’s my turn to nod slowly. “That’s reasonable. You’re giving up your whole life to be here.”
He chuckles. “It wasn’t much of a life anymore. I’d forgotten what joy was. The two of you have given that back to me. It’s a gift I cherish far more than you could ever know. The idea of going back to that life after just a few days here… I’m not sure it’s a life worth living.”
I reach up and grasp his horn. He bends his head and our lips meet in the sweetest lingering kiss. At least until Hausé rattles the French doors.
We break apart chuckling and he moves me aside to grab our things from the car before we head inside.
“Hey, Hausé. Did you have a good day today?” I ask and glance at the sink faucet.
The right one flips on and off a few times.
It must have been a really good day. Though she could also be reacting to what Vyslan and I just said. I suspect our house is a dirty voyeur.
“How do you feel about stew tonight?” he asks. “Lunch was light, but I know you won’t want to eat much until Ezra is back. I’m thinking a light appetizer now and a late meal once he’s finished with his errands.”
“How are you so amazing?” I mutter and slide up onto the stool.
He flashes me a sharp-toothed grin. “Lots of conscious effort, sweet witch.”
No one has ever thought me sweet. Prickly. Bitchy. Intimidating. Sure. But sweet? Maybe Dad did when I was little.
I like that I don’t have to be strong or capable with Vyslan and Ezra. Puck was an amazing boyfriend, but I was always incredibly self-conscious about how much time he spent taking care of me. This is more balanced with us each doing for one another.
Vyslan tilts his head to one side. “Do you miss him? The fae, I mean?”
I blow out a breath and rub my chest to ease the guilt at being caught thinking about him. “I want to say no. I know that being honest is going to hurt Ezra’s feelings.”
“What was he like? This Puck fellow?”
I sigh and lean forward, elbows on the counter. “He was… He was my dream guy. He was attractive, confident, poised, and he had so much swagger. Plus he was kind of a bad boy. And not just because he was fae, though that alone could qualify. There was just something… Dark? About him. And it drew me. I felt so special when he paid attention to me.”
“How long were you together?”
“Hm, that’s… That’s kind of hard to answer.” I think back over the timeline. “I knew of him when I was in high school. Had a mad crush on him. Then I went off to college to study to become a pharmacy tech. That’s when I was able to get diagnosed, but the coven stepped in before I could get anything done. My stepmother really overstepped.”
“You’ve mentioned a stepmother, but your father isn’t currently married, correct?”
“Exactly. So my stepmother was Briella’s aunt. When the coven found out about me, they realized I couldn’t be Dad’s biological daughter regardless of what my birth certificate says. They sent her over to basically seduce and marry Dad so she could get access to me. We didn’t find out until after they split that she never divorced her other husbands. She was just over here playing house and trying to manipulate me.”
Vyslan frowns as he sets the ingredients on the counter. “Did Briella know?”
“Her parents charmed her into ignorance. She was a tool in the plot. And that’s part of the reason why she isn’t on good terms with them.”
“Ah, I see. Sorry for the interruption. Continue, please?”
“The stuff that happened when I was at college with my doctors and my stepmother was the final straw for Dad. When he kicked her out, the coven made a lot of empty threats about me to him. I came home in part because I was worried about the fall-out from the divorce. I wanted to be here to protect dad and adjust the wards to make sure my stepmom couldn’t come back.”
“Did you finish school?”
“Nah. Things have gone in a different direction for me.”
“The dispensary?”
“Yeah. At least in part. That wasn’t the original plan. With my spellcrafting gift, I wanted to develop new medicines. New ways to treat illness and injury. But what I failed to understand is that the only people who can practice those areas of study are certain families. They own the industry. So when I figured that out, I had to pivot my plans. The degree was useless then. Dad got me microdosing in high school to manage my pain and fully supported me getting answers while I wasn’t directly living in the coven’s jurisdiction. Unfortunately, half a dozen covens were willing to step in and stop me from getting medical care because it all ties back to my reproductive system. I know Briella and Poppy still don’t want to hear this, but all we are to them are baby makers.”
“How is it you are reduced to your organs when you’re each so talented?”
“I’m not really supposed to talk about coven business.”
Vyslan nods and doesn’t press.
“I can’t say much to Ezra because of a limitation spell they put on members, but you’re a demon, so I can tell you. And then maybe you can tell Ezra?”
Now I have Vyslan’s attention. “If you wish.”
I nod. It’s time to share more with them. “The coven’s council are ancient witches sustained on the collective power of the coven. They’re a bunch of old farts still fighting the same feuds none of us really understand and subsisting off the backs of the younger generations. They’ve sold the coven on this idea of glory if we just fight a little harder. It’s stupid.”
“Why not take care of the old farts?”
“You mean kill them?” I chuckle. “Lots of attempts have been made. They’re ancient and really deadly. I’ve never seen them before, but both Poppy and Briella say they don’t look remotely human anymore. The elders run most of the day-to-day business.”
“Hm. Wait. How does this connect back to Puck?”
“I was getting there, but we’re meandering toward the point. Anyway, when I came back there was this pressure to settle down with a witch-match, an arranged marriage, and start popping out babies. Or, contribute financially. I guess wars take a lot of money, or something?”
We both chuckle-grimace at that.
I sigh and draw circles on the counter. “We had this silly idea that we could step out of the baby maker role with the dispensary. Become contributing members of the coven. When the shop opened, that’s when Puck came back into my life. It was just a few visits here and there. We’d chat and things would be friendly. He was flirty, but I tried to tell myself he was like that with everyone. It was probably a year after the shop opened when he asked me out. It started very casual for a few months, then he had to go on some family trip. He was gone for a year and a half, but he would send me stuff sometimes. Then sixteen months ago he showed back up and things became really serious between us. He was a constant. Hell, I even offered for him to move in. That’s how much time he was spending here. But he wouldn’t. He never wanted to take that step. I guess I should have seen it coming…”
Vyslan comes around the counter and turns me to face him. He grips my shoulders and presses his thumbs into the tense muscles. “Whatever his reasons are for doing what he did, you held nothing back. There is nothing admirable in committing in half-measures. You did nothing wrong.”
I blink a few times and sniffle. It feels like he just dug his big demon fingers into that wound. Only, it isn’t an open, festering wound anymore. It’s a bruise. It aches. I don’t like the pain. But it’s not as bad as it was.
He wraps his arms around me and grips the back of my neck, kneading my muscles.
“It’s alright,” he croons, gently rocking from side to side. “You did nothing wrong, Gracie. You were brave, and you took a chance. Even monsters need love. And whatever Puck is, you gave that to him. He’s a fool for discarding it. I’m sorry he hurt you. But you did nothing wrong.”
I cry silent tears that are absorbed by his tee.
And that is how Briella and Poppy find us. It’s Poppy’s squeak of surprise that really penetrates the general numb feeling I get after expressing my emotions.
Vyslan eases back and I blink at my friends.
Or more accurately, Poppy’s back as she hustles up the stairs.
Briella and I both sigh.
“Well, I think it’s time we had this talk.” I slip off the stool. “Briella, mind lending me a hand?”
Briella sets her tote down, a sure sign she has to get back out tonight for more wine mom deliveries. “What’cha making, Vys?”
“I was thinking a bacon wrapped asparagus appetizer. Maybe a little baked brie on the side?”
“If Gracie ever dumps you, I’ll take you,” she says with one hand over her heart.
I give her a playful shove. “Mine.”
She laughs and bats my hands away. “Maybe don’t tell Poppy I just said that?”
Vyslan chuckles. “We’ll have stew later. But if you’re heading out, I can whip something up to go on the road?”
Briella’s hair is down in glossy waves and she’s wearing this black top with a mesh-and-lace insert above her breasts and over her shoulders that’s quite sexy. “Nah, I’ve just got a quick delivery to make after ten for a favorite customer.”
I arch a brow at her. “Favorite customer?”
Briella rolls her eyes as she twists her hair up into a bun and shoves a divining wand through it to secure the mass of curly hair. “It’s not like that.”
“Should it be?”
“Shut up,” she says in that high-pitched voice that means there is something about the situation she doesn’t want to talk about. It’s the blush that tells me this isn’t something bad. Just different. Whoever they are, I hope they deserve someone as kind and loving as her. If not, I’ll hex their ass into the next century. “Looking forward to that stew, Vys.”
I hook my arm through Briella’s and we head for the stairs.
“Any idea what you’re going to say?” she whispers to me.
I lower my voice, but I’m not trying to hide my answer from anyone. I asked Vyslan to wear me down in a non-sexual manner. I think he gets the message without me putting it so bluntly. A girl has to work up to saying that to a guy. “I figure I’ll start with, please don’t make me pick between my best friend and the demon I’m falling in love with?”
Briella’s eyes go wide and she gasps. “Oh, shit.”
“Yeah. Oh, shit.”