Chapter 19 Gracie
Suggested Listening: So What by P!nk
I enter through the front door and quickly shut out the three men while my brain whites out.
“Gracie?” Poppy calls out.
Briella wanders over and gets a look at me first. “What happened? Where’s Vyslan?”
I hear Poppy’s feet hit the ground as she rushes over. “What’d he do?”
“There are two Pucks.” I shake my head while the other two stare at me. “No. What I mean is Puck has a twin. There are two of them. What the fuck? Why am I so fucking high right now? Where’s the CBD?”
Poppy scrambles over to the chest where we keep our personal stash and barrels toward me with a tincture bottle. While I can’t make myself un-high, the CBD oil will blunt the high and allow me to think clearer. At least we weren’t smoking hairy goat. I’d be passed out and oblivious to Ezra’s situation if that were the case. She holds the dropper out to me and I open my mouth. She squirts the herbal tasting stuff onto my tongue. Even with the extra care we take it doesn’t exactly taste good. But it’ll get the job done.
“There are two of them ,” I mutter.
Briella wraps an arm around me and pulls me toward the sofa. “Come. Sit. Where are they? Is Vyslan eating them or something?”
We aren’t five feet from the front door when it opens again. I can sense Vyslan first, then the presence of the other two men. Despite Darius and Puck being twins, there’s no mistaking one for the other.
No, what unsettles me is the knowledge that this isn’t the first time I’ve met Darius. I’ve been… I’ve been intimate with both of them and they never divulged the truth to me. Ezra is more important right now, but we are all going to have a very long talk about what it is they’re doing here.
Poppy turns from the cabinet and gapes past us. “Holy shit, there are two of them.”
“What did I tell you?” I snap.
Vyslan pats my butt as he breezes past to check on the stew.
I sink into the only large armchair. I don’t feel like inviting either of the two Pucks into my personal space, so the armchair feels safest.
They’re identical. Almost.
Irritation flares anew. “What do we call the two of you?”
The one on the right is familiar. Tall, dark skin, elegantly pointed ears, bulging muscles, and an air of danger about him. The lack of hair is strange, but not bad. That’s the Puck I know. But the other is also familiar.
His twin is almost completely leeched of pigment. There are a few dark patches on his ears, chin, neck, and arms. Unlike his brother, his hair is soft, silvery curls. On the sides, his hair is artfully faded to form a curly, almost mushroom like covering of hair that glimmers. I hadn’t realized the fae could have vitiligo, a condition where the skin loses pigment. His eyes are completely white and he stands with his chin tipped up, as if he is staring at the ceiling. The familiar on his shoulder ruffles its feathers and shifts, becoming something that looks a bit like a ferret, only longer and skinnier. His familiar wraps around his neck, head resting at the base of his throat and peers around the room.
The familiar is his eyes. It makes perfect sense. They must have a very close bond.
I don’t have a familiar. Yet. And neither do Briella nor Poppy. It’s something we’re all a little sensitive about considering this is when it should be happening. Not for the first time I have to wonder, is the coven interfering? Are they why our familiars haven’t found us yet?
“I’m Darius,” the seer says.
“Darius. Puck. Sit.” I gesture at the central sofa. “And start talking. How are we going to find Ezra?”
Puck takes Darius by the elbow. I don’t miss how Darius sighs and allows Puck to guide him to the sofa. Like it’s not necessary, but he isn’t willing to push his doting brother away.
Fuck. I know that feeling. On my bad days, I loved that about Puck. On my good days, I wanted to nut-punch him.
Darius’ familiar bobs its head, which makes Darius roll his lips between his teeth and stifle a grin. I’d be willing to bet they’re poking fun at Puck behind his back.
The brothers sit in the middle of the sofa close enough their knees touch. It’s when they sit back, completely at ease, that their similarities are the most pronounced. From the way they tilt their heads to the way they spread their legs, it’s the same. They are twins in every sense of the word. It’s their energy that’s different. Puck is hard. Darius is soft. They’re a study in contrasts to the point it seems intentional.
They glance at each other, some silent communication passing between them, before Puck takes the lead.
He locks eyes with me, and while Vyslan’s eyes look like literal embers, when Puck looks at me it feels like I’m standing in a ring of fire. “Earlier today while we were keeping watch, we overheard Ezra’s phone call with his blood dealer.”
“Farid. You gave me that contact for him,” I point out.
Puck inclines his head. “Blood dealers all have some inherent risk. Farid is fairer than most.”
“And the point?”
“Farid is a type of Nephilim. His mother was also a Nephilim. But his father was an angel. It makes him uniquely powerful and hated. He isn’t an angel, but he isn’t just a half-breed.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “You mean he’s a unique.”
Vyslan comes to perch on the armrest of my chair. “A unique?”
“Uniques are just that. Unique. Rare. Sometimes one-of-a-kind or the first of their kind,” I say. “I’d only heard of them as myths.”
“And yet you created one,” Darius says softly.
I sit up a little straighter as my head swims and I struggle to keep up. “Ezra?”
The two Pucks nod, though they aren’t quite in synch.
“Shit,” I mutter.
“Based on the little snatches I’ve seen, I think Puck is correct,” Darius says.
Puck leans forward, elbows on his knees. “Farid wouldn’t sell out a steady customer unless he was under considerable pressure. In his business, a customer might stay loyal to him for hundreds of years. That’s a lot of money. But, Ezra’s sire is a very powerful, very connected vampire. Someone who could make Farid’s life extremely difficult. Nephilim are often hunted. But Farid has lived here for a long time. Safely, I might add. Which makes me think this was a life or death situation for him. He isn’t the type to sell someone out unless he had no other options.”
“This is great to know and all, but how do we find Ezra?” I ask. My thoughts are beginning to clear, but the trade-off is that I feel pretty damn sleepy.
Puck nods his head. “We will find him.”
“How? Your magic?”
He grimaces and drops his gaze to the ground. “I’ve already looked for him. I’m sorry, Gracie. I thought… Darius, and I have been weighing the possible futures. We thought this future, the one where Ezra was taken, was the least likely path. I counted on Ezra prioritizing remaining close to you rather than falling for Farid’s trap. I underestimated his kindness. I’ve always underestimated him...”
The sorrow and self-loathing on Puck’s face is unexpected. Did he really think so little of Ezra? Was he viewing the newly turned vampire through a fae lens? Their life must have been difficult for him to have so little faith in people. Under that, however, I’m angry. Puck’s baggage made my life lonelier. I thought I was in the wrong because I had feelings for someone that I could have explored sooner. It wasn’t his right to make these decisions.
My heart aches and I reach over, clinging to Vyslan as I stare at the man, or men, I thought I’d loved. “I’m sure you just love this, don’t you? You probably hope he dies.”
“No,” Puck bellows.
Darius reaches over and grips his brother’s knee. “He would never…”
I shake my head. “I can’t believe a damn thing you say. How can I? Do you really expect I can trust you after…?”
Briella and Poppy are seated on the far side of the room, hands clutching each other as they watch us volley words at each other.
“Sweet witch?” Vyslan rubs my back. “We don’t know how to track Ezra yet. Puck said his magic cannot find him, and you were certain he could. Perhaps, for the sake of building trust and gaining more knowledge, we hear them out?”
I shake my head, wanting so badly to kick them out and go find this Farid person. But Vyslan is the only sober one among those I trust, so I’ll have to defer to his judgement. “Start talking.”
Puck glances at Briella and Poppy.
“They stay,” I say firmly. Puck and I lock gazes. “No more secrets, except what you absolutely must keep.”
He knows what I mean.
His powers. The reason he always had to be so careful. No matter how pissed I am, I won’t betray that confidence. I’m not like him.
Darius reaches over and pats his brother’s knee. I get the feeling that all of the bad parts, the things that have hurt me, were Puck’s doing.
“It’s a long story, but I’ll try to be brief,” he says. “Darius and I are twins, which is unheard of for fae. Our parents did things to ensure my chances of having certain powers. Our best theory is that a side effect of those spells resulted in splitting the embryo in half. Darius and I are essentially the same person.”
Darius twirls his finger around his ferret-like familiar’s long tail. “What Puck struggles to say is that he got the good genes while I got everything they wanted to extract from their babe.”
“You are not the bad genes,” Puck snaps.
Darius’ white eyes roll and his head follows suit. He sighs and smiles. “Whatever you say, brother.”
Puck scowls at him, but fixes his attention back on me. “Darius’ gifts took a hundred years to develop, but once they realized what he was, and that I could not be controlled, they focused on him. The things our parents did to strengthen him were… Terrible. One of his earliest visions was of our future. Tell them.”
Darius clears his throat and shifts a bit. He’s almost bashful as he begins to speak slowly. “I saw this room. This space, almost exactly as it is now. You were all there. And so was Ezra. And another man I don’t think we’ve met yet. Poppy and Briella passed through, but the rest of us were sitting around having tea and talking. It was… It was a dream. A perfect picture of a future I could never imagine.”
Puck nods and picks up the threads of the story. “We knew, based on how unfamiliar things in the vision were, that it would be a very long time before we met you. Imagine seeing a cell phone when you’re still sending messages by bird?”
“Wait. Wait. Wait.” I throw up my hands. “What the hell are you saying?”
I look from Puck back to Darius while they stare at me.
Vyslan’s heavy hand settles on my back as the silence draws out. His deep voice bristles with power when he speaks. “She asked you a question, fae.”
Darius speaks in a tender voice, his hands buried in the now bushy fur of his familiar. “I cannot see visions about my own future. Occasionally, when I look at Puck’s future, I see myself. I suppose it’s because we’re so closely intertwined, yet different. Being able to see the future is a funny thing. I’ve long decided that what I see is merely a vivid opportunity. Like a daydream. It is not my choice to live my life according to those visions. But Puck and I have different approaches.”
Puck takes a deep breath and nods. “For two hundred years we’ve waited for you, Gracie. Darius has seen bits and pieces of our futures. Sometimes they’re good. Sometimes they’re terrible. When I found you and you were without the others, I made the decision that our future might be more secure if the other men weren’t in the picture. If it was just the three of us.”
“Wow,” Poppy mutters.
“That’s…” Briella shakes her head. “I have no words.”
“Of course, you wouldn’t understand,” Puck snaps. “You don’t know…”
“Of course, they don’t know, brother,” Darius says in tender tones. “It’s not their place to be burdened with our past.”
My insides are boiling. The nerve of this man. “So despite knowing that in witch culture we are expected to take multiple husbands, you decided that the two of you were all I would ever need. And then when Ezra showed up, you tried to chase him away. Do I have it all correct?”
Puck looks at me and it feels like it’s a year ago and we’re fighting about the newly turned Ezra all over again. “He’s a vampire , Gracie.”
I glare at him because I can’t throw certain facts back in his face. The reason why Puck is so powerful. Why his parents went to the lengths they did. He swore me to secrecy ages ago, and though I might be angry, I won’t betray that trust because I do understand the gravity of the situation. That doesn’t change the fact that between Ezra and Puck, I think Puck is the bigger risk to me.
I shake my head. “You’re fucking selfish. I can’t believe… I can’t believe I thought I loved you.”
Puck shoots to his feet. “You do love me, Gracie. You do .”
Vyslan slowly stands, his form expanding and a menacing aura radiating out of him. “You will sit down and refrain from speaking to her in that tone. Do you understand me, fae?”
Darius leans over. “Spoiler, it doesn’t go well for you if you don’t do as he says. I have told you a number of times you aren’t going to be the strongest one in this family. You aren’t even in the top two. Sit. Down. ”
Puck clenches and unclenches his fists before plopping back down. He scoots to the edge of the cushion and focuses on me. “It’s real, Gracie. I know I’ve been shit at explaining what’s going on to you. I know we’ve hurt you. But it was all to get us to this point where we could be together. Where we could tell you the truth.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes. “Oh, yeah? And what is this truth ? And are we going to discuss how you two swapped bodies? Or were you going to keep that from me, too? Because right now I’m beyond pissed.”
They both duck their heads and even Darius’ familiar tucks its head inside his shirt collar.
“That was my doing. Darius only did it because I insisted,” Puck says.
“I think this is where we leave you guys.” Briella drags Poppy to her feet. “But just so it’s clear, you two have fucked up. I’ve been in your corner until now. Fix this. Or get lost. Come on, Pops.”
“Yeah.” Poppy nods and thumbs over her shoulder at Briella dragging her up the stairs. “What she said.”
“I’ll text you when the stew is ready,” Vyslan says.
“Thanks, Vys,” Poppy calls out.
We’re quiet while we listen to their retreating footsteps.
“Now what?” I mutter.
“Whatever fault you find in us, it’s mine. Not Darius’,” Puck says. “Please, understand that. Please ?”
I hate how I still want to trust this man. I hate how he’s twisted and perverted what should have been a blessing. I never thought I’d have one, much less multiple partners that loved me. I assumed that I would be assigned or partnered to men chosen by the coven. That there wouldn’t be any love between us. And he tried to take that from me.
“I’m listening,” I snap.
Puck sighs and his shoulders sag.
Darius reaches over and rubs his brother’s back as he begins to speak. He has a gentler, rolling cadence of speaking that helps to soothe my raw edges. “Our parents wanted Puck because he would be strong and potentially pave the way for our family to rebuild the dark court and make it into a new era of the Unseelie Court. But their efforts were too good. He’s too strong. Too powerful. They cannot control him. But they could control me. I’ve always had a weak body. They took every potential imperfection he might have had and loaded them into my body. And somehow, despite all of that, I became a seer anyway. When they realized what I was, they created a seer’s chamber below their manor, and sealed me inside. I was alone, save for a mirror that allowed me to share my visions with them. That’s where I’ve been the last two hundred years since my gifts emerged. Puck has done what he can for me, but fae bargains are dangerous even for us. And our parents would not relinquish control without some benefit.”
“That still doesn’t answer my question,” I say slowly, glaring at them in turn.
“When our paths crossed, I wasn’t certain it was you,” Puck says, picking up the story. “I can’t see what Darius sees. Even when he tries to show me, I don’t have a seer’s eyes. It’s foggy. Not quite right. All I had was this feeling . But you were so young, and the coven was possessive of you. And… There were other things happening at the time. Fae things. Witch things. It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t until you returned from college and opened the shop that I saw an opportunity for us to begin. But I needed to be certain. So I made a bargain with a particular fae and had Puck’s consciousness placed into my body. For a time, we both inhabited one form. And we would trade who was in control. That’s when we first truly met you, Gracie.”
“By all accounts, you’re saying she is your destined mate. Yet… You held back. Why?” Vyslan asks.
“She was so young,” Puck says. “And, we were unsure of the future. Many things were uncertain. We didn’t yet know how I would get Darius free or how to make that come to pass. We just knew it wasn’t the right time.”
“Why is it up to you?” I demand.
His expression darkens. “Why do nothing when I can do something? Is it all really fate? Or are these glimpses of the set future? You’re so innocent, Gracie. How was I to know that a demon and a vampire wouldn’t hurt you? It was too great a risk. You’re far too precious.”
“So that makes it okay for the two of you to fuck me and just… Not tell me you’re different people?”
Darius’ face flushes and his eyes are open so wide I’m a little worried about his eyes popping out.
Puck shakes his head. “It was only me in the driver’s seat when we were intimate. I know that doesn’t alleviate your concerns, but that was a fact we discussed. Any moment where I ducked a kiss or missed your signal, that was Darius. He’s innocent. I swear. All I wanted was for him to see you. To have hope that after two hundred years he would be free of that prison. No, it doesn’t make what we did okay, but… I pray you will understand the impossible choices we’ve had to make.”
“Darius, is that true? Have we ever kissed?” I ask.
He nods. “It’s true. You did kiss me one time. It was a surprise. And I quickly handed over control to Puck. Still, the best kiss of my life.”
That off handed comment hits me in the chest like a brick, sending disorienting ripples through my body. I hurt for him and the solitude he’s had to endure. I’m flattered. But I’m still angry. If Darius was in the driver’s seat, he could have done something different.
“What about the times you vanished? And this last six months? What the fuck?”
Puck leans forward, elbows on his knees, and runs his hand back over his head, as if he’s feeling for his locs that are no longer there. “It was more difficult to return Darius to his body than we anticipated. That was when I was gone for a year and a half. And then things began happening with our siblings. I had to… Deal with that. The last six months were the price of my deal. Our parents have accepted that they will never control me and that Darius’ talents are not as profitable as they’d hoped. To gain Darius’ freedom I let them bleed me.”
“For how long?”
He stares at me. “Six months.”
I gape at him, shocked and horrified at the implication that he was left bleeding out his life force and magic all for his brother for six damn months. I don’t know anyone who’d do something like that for me. Or, I didn’t before Ezra. I’m not blind to his devotion and the feelings growing between us. It’s why I have to get him back. “And your freedom? What did that cost?”
“I had to renounce our family name and any claim I have to the line of succession.” The corners of Puck’s lips quirk up.
“And?”
“And my firstborn.” A slow smile spreads across his face.
I blink at him a few times as I process that.
“You would bargain away a life you have no rights to yet?” Vyslan mutters in a dark, dangerous voice.
I reach over blindly and grip his hand. “I can’t have kids, Vys. Puck knows that. But your parents didn’t. Did they?”
He shakes his head slowly, and his brown eyes gleam with flecks of otherworldly gold.
Damn him. I can’t help but chuckle and shake my head.
Another woman might be offended by that bargain. But Puck and I talked for a long time about my options, and he knows I don’t want kids. If he wrote the bargain right, and I have to believe he did, then his parents gifted him his freedom for nothing . Which is exactly the kind of man he’s always proven to be. The Puck I’ve known is selfless. He does for everyone else and asks nothing in return. I’m angry with him. And I don’t know the man he is now. But I can’t hate him.
“You’ve given me a lot to think about,” I say. “Let’s focus on getting Ezra back… Then we’ll figure out the rest.”
Puck inclines his head. “Thank you.”
These weren’t the answers I was expecting. And I sure as hell didn’t see Puck becoming two people. But my life is strange.
At least I know there’s going to be one more man in my life, if Darius’ visions are accurate. I just hope this unknown guy gives us a little time to sort this shit out, because I do not know how we’re going to find Ezra. If Puck can’t find him using his magic, I’ll have to craft a spell to help us find this vampire. And vampire strongholds are one of the most secure facilities in the world.