Chapter 11
DAWN
I watch HaL walk away, my thoughts suddenly consumed by the idea of us living together. I know I’m his mate, but what do I really have to offer him in this harsh, icy world? The question weighs heavily on me, leaving me lost in thought.
Troza must notice my sudden silence because I can feel her eyes watching me. When I glance over at her, she pauses her work on my arm, a small, knowing smile tugging at her furry face.
“You drifted off there for a moment, Dawn.”
“Things got real … real damn fast, and I feel like I’m running to catch up. It seems my emotions are conflicting. One minute I’m confident and ready for the future and the next I am trying to figure out where I belong in all of this.”
“Confusion and conflict are things you can always count on, youngling but what is an issue this rising will soon be replaced by something different in the future. That is just the way of things … Change is a constant in any life, no matter the species.”
“I’m not sure what will be expected of me. HaL is important, and I am … well, just me.”
“And that is all you need to be. The rest will come with time. Now, is your arm bothering you at all?”
“It’s sore, in an odd way.”
“We will take odd over pain anytime. Dawn, I am going to keep the soft cast on for a few more cycles. According to the scans, the bone has reset properly, and the musculature is healing well, but the neural pathways are still reconnecting. Even though I have cleared you, if it feels too soon to leave medical, you are welcome to remain a little longer. There is no urgency for you to go anywhere.”
“Troza, that’s more tempting than you realize, but I know there have to be others who need you more than me.”
“Nonsense, there is plenty of me to go around, and I will always be here for you, Dawn. Even though you are putting on a good act, I know deep down you have to be scared. I would be if I were in your place, especially if I had been stranded on a strange world surrounded by no others like myself.”
“Thank you, Troza, for understanding. I’ll never be able to fully express how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.
If it weren’t for you, I know I wouldn’t be here right now.
When I climbed into that escape pod, I never thought I’d wake up on the other side of the darkness that swallowed me only moments after launch.
And yet, somehow, I did. I woke up … and found HaL, and all of you. I never could have imagined that.”
I swallow, the words catching in my throat.
“Now it feels like my life is being rerouted again, like something unseen keeps rewriting my path. I’m always trying to catch up. Always trying to understand where I’m supposed to be and what I’m supposed to be doing. Always trying to adapt and trying not to lose my mind or myself in the process.”
Before she can answer me, HaL comes strolling back in, and for some reason, all my doubts begin to melt away. We already have enough battles ahead of us without my mind inventing new ones to fight.
He moves to the side of the bed, and the moment his large hand wraps around mine, it feels like everything inside me steadies. I swear I can feel his entire body soften, as if just touching me is enough to ease whatever weight he’s been carrying. He looks over at Troza.
“How is her arm?”
“I am going to leave it in a light cast for a bit, but if Dawn feels like it, she is cleared to go. But I want to see you first thing the next couple risings.”
Just as I pull the blanket back and start to swing my legs over the side, a huge pair of arms slides under me, pulling me close, and I catch myself burying my nose in the soft hair on his shoulders before mumbling, “I can walk, you know.”
“I will use any excuse I can to hold you in my arms, and you are not fully healed yet. I thought since you have been stuck in here all this time, you might enjoy a change in scenery. If you feel up to it, we could take a walk around the compound to help familiarize you with it.”
“You planning on carrying me the entire time?”
“It is a high probability.”
“Good thing you’re comfortable then. Lead on, sweetcheeks, I have a whole new world to get used to.”
Troza throws a blanket across my lap just as HaL goes to step out of the doorway, and the intense cold that instantly surrounds me makes me shiver involuntarily.
Squirming, I pull the blanket up over my ears and around my head, thankful for the heated onesie that is keeping the majority of the cold away. HaL stops until I get resettled.
“Please tell me the moment the cold becomes unbearable. The last thing I want is your discomfort, Dawn.”
“Honey, I am warm-blooded so the cold will always be an issue, but I can always put more layers on, whereas you can only take so much off. I have complete faith that someone/thing will help us fix this issue for good in time. But now that I’m all bundled up, let’s go see this marvel you call a home.
I am interested in how you all managed to build an entire thriving community in such an environment. ”
We make it to what I’m assuming is the next room or chamber when a deep growl leaves HaL’s throat, and I swear I feel him grow taller as his hair completely and instantly covers his body.
Two others of his kind suddenly round the corner, only to stop dead in their tracks when they see us there.
Their eyes land on me, and the noise that comes out of HaL has me reaching up to cover my ears.
The others bow slightly, turn, and are out of sight before I can blink.
He has pulled me so close that I’m squished up against him. He is breathing rapidly, and that’s when I realize how upset he is. “HaL, sweet thing, you wanna tell me what’s going on because Sassy can’t breathe.”
“Mate … MINE!”
I pat his cheek gently, trying to get him to focus on me and not the others. “Okay, ok … well, let’s put the tour on hold for a while and find some place that is going to make you a little less growly to all the locals.”
The bright silver eyes of his beast look down at me, and I can see the battle raging behind them. One part of him wants to show me his world, but the other wants to keep me hidden away from it. I’m not sure which side is gonna win.
After a few more grumbles, he finally turns.
For a moment, I think he’s taking me back to the medical wing, but instead, he leads me down a darker hall.
That’s when I notice the marks gouged into the walls …
deep scratches and grooves that seem to grow more numerous the farther into the mountainside we go.
With every step deeper into the passage, the tension slowly leaves his body. His movements become looser, his breathing steadier, and something about him seems to settle. Whatever this place is, it’s clearly familiar to him. And somehow, that makes me feel safe enough to look around.
“HaL, did you guys carve these openings?”
His voice comes out rough and scratchy.
“After training with my brother, I had grown accustomed to the noise of many, only to return to Hallister and live once again in silence, seeing Troza only occasionally.
One day, while patrolling the edge of the frozen lake, I fell into a crack in the ice, only to discover a vast opening beneath it.
With MeK and SCOUT’s help, we mapped the labyrinth of caverns hidden below.
Some were connected, while others linked together through narrow passages.
Using some of MeK’s inventions, we began the slow work of carving out a permanent home for my kind.
Once the caverns were ready, he devised a procedure that hardened the ice until it became as enduring as stone.
What began as little more than a handful of us scattered in the cold darkness soon became something far greater.
Word traveled.
Season after season, more of my kind came, drawn by the safety of these frozen halls.
With each new rising, the settlement grew with more voices filling the caverns, all drawn to the warm lights glowing beneath the mountain.
What had once seemed an unlikely refuge slowly became something more, a place we could finally call home. ”
“I remember you telling me that your people tend to keep to themselves, so I imagine it wasn’t an easy decision for anyone to step outside their comfort zone and take a chance on coming here, relearning everything they had always known.”
“Our race was dying, and even though Hallister is not as large as most planets, the terrain is a natural barrier that my kind have learned to use as camouflage. If you are alone out there and do not want to be found, it is easily done. But when the ones who started gathering soon found their mates, more came, hoping to find the connection we all secretly wanted.”
“You had to have been disappointed that your own had not been revealed.”
“Dawn, until I saw you on ANDI, I hadn’t allowed myself to dwell on it. However, the calmness I normally felt after arriving home from Ethra never came. I caught myself searching the skies, an ache inside me reaching out, searching for something I had no idea I was looking for.
Now I know it was because the bond had started the moment I touched you, but I simply did not realize it. I never dreamed you could be mine, little Roja. And now that I am holding you in my arms, I’m having a hard time convincing myself that you are real.”
“Oh, you say that now but give it a couple of years, and you’ll be down at the bar … drinking a tall cold one, ragging on the old ball and chain waiting for you back home.”
HaL stops in front of a doorway at the very end of this passage. His head is tilted slightly sideways, and I can’t help but laugh as I can tell he is trying to replay my words back in his head.
“Sorry sweetcheeks, I didn’t mean to throw all that Earth slang at you. What I meant to say is that in a few years you’ll be sick of me.”
He draws me closer, his fur bristling as a look of raw, shaken fear overtakes his beautiful face.