27. Poppy
Poppy
M y brain has been permanently altered. The sensation of being kissed by Hayden Thompson seared into it. I wish we had taken his tiny sports car back to my house instead of Jamie’s pick-up truck. The whole drive I felt as if he was too far away.
I need more of the touch that still lingers on my skin. More of his heavenly scent that clings like a delectable haze to the hoodie I’m wearing.
“I only have a minute before I need to head back to the station, but I was wondering if…” He turns off the truck and shifts to face me.
The glow of my front porch lights makes his features look softer, like just maybe, the man I previously accused of being callous is actually the softest place my heart could ever land.
“Yes?” I urge.
“I have been wanting to ask you something, but I’ve been putting it off because I’m afraid you’ll say no.”
“That sounds… ominous.”
“I was hoping you’d reconsider your RSVP to the clambake this year. Considering…” he pauses to kiss me, his hand coming up to gently cup my face as he murmurs against my lips, “Considering this.”
“You mean my standing RSVP of no?”
“That’s the one.” His thumb traces along my cheek. “I know tomorrow is pretty last-minute notice, but?—”
“I’ll come.”
His blue eyes are swimming with hope as they study me. “Really?”
I can’t help the silly smile that catches on my lips. “Really. Why did you wait so long to ask?”
It’s his turn to smile at me. “Maybe because you were still running away from me on the beach just a few days ago the minute our friends showed up.”
He has a point, of course. I hadn’t thought about what it would mean to put aside the claws when outside of our little bubble. But that hope is still shining in his eyes, and his hand is still warm against my cheek, and I still want to throw myself at him and beg him to come inside for the night.
I might enjoy fighting with him, but I am tired of fighting the way I want him.
“I’ll be there,” I assure him with a kiss. “But I think your minute is up. If you’d prefer to bail on your debrief and come inside instead…” I trail off, motioning over my shoulder at my house.
“You don’t know how much I want to,” he groans. “Especially with you looking like that.”
I scoff as he drops a hand to my waist and tugs me over the center console of the truck. I land in his lap with little to no grace and don’t mind a bit. “The wet dog look really does it for you?”
His attention moves deliberately slowly over my body, as if cataloging the sight of me sitting here with my legs slung across his lap and my hands wrapped around his neck. Then he lifts a hand and tugs on the collar of my borrowed sweatshirt.
“Looking like mine.”
His mouth is back at my lips before his words have a chance to fully sink in.
This isn’t simply a goodnight kiss. It’s a kiss that holds a promise of more.
His every movement is charged with emotion, from the way he grips my hip with one hand and cradles the back of my head with the other.
The way his tongue is urgent for more yet unhurried at the same time.
And I kiss him back with the same desperate need to convey that this is all important to me too.
Mine . The word echoes in my chest, as if settling into my heart. This is more than me being caught up in the worry and adrenaline of his rescue tonight. Because while I still have no plan, no clue on how to move forward from here, I know I want more with Hayden.
After much longer than a minute, I’m back inside my house and he’s on his way to the station once more.
And it’s funny, because the tapered candles are still slightly crooked in their brass holders on the fireplace.
The denim jacket I took off in a hurry last week is still haphazardly thrown over the armchair.
And the book I was reading the other day is still teetering dangerously on the edge of my coffee table.
But everything feels different now.
I head to the kitchen and start making a warm cup of tea when there’s a knock at my door. I rush to answer it, driven by foolish wistfulness. Clearly my heart has taken over when I throw the door open, hopeful that a certain handsome first responder changed his mind and came back for the night.
It’s Stevie standing on the porch though, her long blonde hair whipping around her in the storm’s gusty wind and catching on the collar of her pink raincoat.
“I like this new look,” she greets me, adding in a raised eyebrow for good measure.
“When did you start working for the Manchester fire department?”
“Funny.” I roll my eyes as I reach for her arm and tug her inside. “What are you doing out in this?”
“Beckett is in town, and I happened to be with him when he got a pretty surprising message from Hayden.”
“Surprising for who? Because you sound like you were expecting it.”
Her bright smile fills her face, and she sheds the raincoat and follows me back into the kitchen. “Then it’s true?”
“What is?” I pass her a teacup and motion for her to sit, deciding to feign ignorance as long as I can.
“You told Hayden you’ll come to the clambake tomorrow?”
“Oh, yeah.” I can feel my cheeks flush as her smile somehow manages to widen. “That is true.”
“Poppy!” She slams her hands down on the table in excitement, rattling the small porcelain cups. “This is the best news. What changed?”
Everything, I want to say. But I’ve barely had time to wrap my head around things. How do I explain it to everyone else?
Maybe I jumped the gun agreeing to such a public date. Was it even meant to be a date? I’m really wishing I had a binder to navigate all of this.
“Things have been so good between us. Like, so good . But only when we are alone,” I admit. “I don’t know what it means. How am I supposed to go to this and act the same around everyone? What if it makes our bubble burst?”
“You’ve been flirting on camera for the show, why would it be different with friends?”
I take a long, thoughtful sip of tea. “They’re strangers, they don’t really know us.”
Even if Tara thinks she knows Hayden now—fury fights for my attention and I push it back down, refusing to let her steal the joy I’ve felt since Hayden’s helicopter touched solid ground again.
“And that’s fake, it’s acting,” I add.
“Is it though?”
No. The way my heart flutters and skin flushes from our interactions on camera, that’s all too real.
“If you would have asked that after the first episode, I would have said yes. But it’s not fake for me. And I can admit that to you here, like this. But how do I show it around everyone? How do I act tomorrow?”
“You’ll go with me, Ivy, and Wren, and it will be like things always are with the four of us. And when you feel like talking to Hayden instead, you do. Or if you feel uncomfortable being there, we leave. No questions asked.”
I look over at her, my brow furrowed. “No questions asked?”
“No questions asked. Remember what Wren said? Trust what feels right. And if something feels wrong, we can even have a code word.” She smiles, reaching over and wrapping her arm around my shoulder.
I lean into her embrace. “Stevie?”
“Yeah?”
“Love you.”
“Love you,” Stevie replies, giving me a squeeze.
“One more question. What do I wear?”