Chapter 17 #2
Beau had tried to stay with me. But Finn had leveled a hard gaze on the man at my side and said, “You can wait outside, Beau.”
I was staring at Finn, but I saw Beau’s head swivel in my direction. “I’m staying with Hannah.”
“Wasn’t a question, Beau.” Finn’s reply was firm but not unkind. Authority seemed to thread through his voice without effort.
Even though Beau was the strongest and most authoritative man I’d ever met, Finn managed to make him back down.
Beau scowled at Finn, rubbing his jaw before looking at me. “I’ll be right outside.”
I nodded, emotion heating my skin at him reassuring me that he would be there. Waiting. For me.
With sweaty palms and a racing heart, I followed Finn into his office, where he offered me water and a seat.
I doubted one could ever feel comfortable recounting the necessary information to get a restraining order against a man—especially in front of another man.
But Finn did his best. I wondered about him and Lori’s situation.
He obviously felt something for her, and I knew she felt something for him.
I questioned why she didn’t just surrender to it.
But then again, she was now pregnant with another man’s baby. Not exactly a simple situation.
I was in the middle of my own not exactly simple situation.
Finn was patient as I catalogued my marriage, asking questions intermittently, but mostly just listening.
“This is my personal cell.” Finn pointed to the number he’d scribbled on the card he gave me. “You call me, text me. No matter the time, even if you think you’re being dramatic.” He leveled a serious look at me. “In my experience, women are rarely dramatic. Don’t second-guess your intuition.”
I didn’t know why, but in that moment, I wanted to cry. Luckily, I held myself back, nodding curtly. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” There was a moment when the stern, reliable expression on his face wavered. “How’s Lori?” His question came in a much softer voice. “I know her morning sickness has been throwing her for a loop. Is she eating better?”
Though I’d been moments away from real, soul-wracking tears, his questions, uttered almost shyly, had me smothering a smile.
“She’s getting better now that she’s in the second trimester. And the nausea is completely normal.”
“How can the baby be getting any nutrients?” His brows knit together. “How can she be?”
Again, I had to bite back a smile. “Our bodies are incredible things. That baby is being nourished. Lori, well…” I shrugged. “Pregnancy isn’t the easiest journey for a woman, but life rarely is. We continue to endure.” I reached forward to squeeze his shoulder after a moment of hesitation.
“She’s going to be fine,” I tried to reassure him. “She has an army of women who are fussing over her. The baby daddy may be an asshole, but we know how to handle asshole men.” I winked at him. “The good men, on the other hand…”
I trailed off, letting my meaning sink in. I didn’t want to tread over any potential tripwires nor make Lori’s life more complicated than it already was. Their story would play out the way it was supposed to; they did not need me meddling.
Finn tensed under my touch for a moment before he relaxed, his espresso-colored eyes darting to the door.
“At the risk of venturing into dangerous territory, there’s a good man standing outside that door. Who barks like a feral dog but has a good heart. And who cares about you.”
My stomach dipped, and I forced myself to smile and nod, not saying anything. There was no way to explain to Finn that Beau just felt duty bound to ensure that I wasn’t just another statistic.
We said our goodbyes, and when Finn opened the door, Beau damn near tumbled forward, given how close he must’ve been standing.
His body angled toward me, though his gaze glued to Finn. “Is it done? You going to arrest the fuck?”
Finn sighed, hands landing on his hips. “I can’t arrest him, but I’ll serve him with the order.”
“Did you see her fucking arm?” Beau snarled. “That’s assault.”
I shifted, uncomfortable under the heavy weight of attention on me. Beneath all of the male fury filling the air. “You did not mention assault,” Finn replied slowly.
I wrung my hands, looking down. “It wasn’t, technically.”
“Technically, a man putting hands on you against your will, leaving a mark, is assault, Hannah,” Finn countered gently.
Even though his words were kind, hot shame crept up my throat.
“I-I just want him to go away.” I hated how weak I sounded, but I was exhausted. Ready for Waylon to be a distant memory. “I just want a divorce. I don’t want to have to make statements or see him in court. I don’t want him tangled up in my life any more than necessary.”
Yes, he should’ve been punished for laying hands on me. Yes, I was a coward for not pressing charges, but there was only so much I could handle. A divorce and a restraining order were plenty.
Finn eyed me for a long moment, as if deciding whether to push the matter further.
I did not look in Beau’s direction. I couldn’t.
“Okay,” Finn finally said. “I’d like to take a picture of your arm for the record. I’ll note it on the order to help strengthen your divorce case. Unless I can convince you to press charges…?”
Though I felt Beau’s furor as a physical manifestation beside me, I pretended it didn’t exist. Although his protective fury he felt was coming from the right place—even if it was seriously confusing—I would not let a man’s anger dictate my actions.
Not again.
I tilted my chin up as I regarded Finn.
“No,” I stated with finality. “I’m not pressing charges. I’m not giving him a second more of my time or attention than I need to.”
When Finn nodded, I swore I might’ve seen some respect in his gaze.
It felt good.
Beau didn’t say anything as he drove us to our next destination—the lawyer’s office on Main Street.
I was immediately intimidated by the tasteful and upscale location.
The furnishings, the real plant in the corner, the smell, the glossy-haired receptionist…
It all told me one thing: He was an expensive lawyer.
I could not afford an expensive lawyer.
“Beau,” I whispered as the receptionist went to get Marty.
He instantly looked down at me. I held back a flinch at the intensity of his gaze. The way it felt as if it was the gravity pulling me to Earth.
“You have to take whatever fees he charges out of my paycheck.” I tried to say it without a wince, considering this lawyer’s fees would likely be my entire paycheck for the next two months. If I was lucky, and if this divorce was uncomplicated.
I was not lucky, and this divorce was not uncomplicated.
Therefore, I was going to be back to zero and again postponing finishing nursing school. But I’d be free of Waylon. I hadn’t realized how much the legality of our union had hung over me like a guillotine until I was standing in front of him and heard him call me his wife. In front of Beau, no less.
Whatever it cost to be rid of that title would be worth it.
“I’m not taking a fucking cent out of your paycheck,” Beau said blandly.
Though this noble side of Beau was reasonably new, I had already gotten the gist of it and had suspected this might be the response I got.
Beau was offering to cover my lawyer’s bills. When I knew Beau didn’t have that kind of money to spare.
“I’m not taking a single cent from you that I haven’t earned,” I replied sharply, despite a small, shameful part of me wanting to submit to this new dynamic, to lay myself at his feet to be rescued, taken care of.
But it was nowhere near that simple for us. Even taking away the employer slash employee relationship, even taking away the age gap—which didn’t matter much to me but I knew would be a sticking point with Beau—there was the subject of Clara.
He should’ve been putting her first. As he had since the moment she was born. And through a horrible sickness. He deserved to enjoy taking care of her now, not to add another burden to his plate. Another worry.
Beau, obviously and thankfully oblivious to all of the thoughts in my head, was just staring at me.
Not with any of that tense, borderline aggression of the past, not with the confusing yearning or the mild amusement I’d experienced thus far.
I couldn’t pinpoint his expression… searching, if I were to guess. Searching for what, I didn’t know.
“You’ve earned it, Hannah,” Beau told me in a low tone. “You’ve earned to be rid of a horrible man from your past without it tarnishing your future, without you parting with another cent.”
I pursed my lips both in frustration and against the burn in my throat that made me want to cry. From the tenderness in which Beau spoke, the shame that still coated my insides. Though I might’ve wanted to be taken care of, I also didn’t want to be a pathetic charity case.
“You most definitely shouldn’t be spending a cent,” I hissed. “Not when this has nothing to do with you. He certainly doesn’t deserve anything you’ve earned, nothing that could be going toward Clara.”
Beau clenched his jaw. Apparently, me arguing about paying for my own divorce was irritating to him.
“You’re not taking food out of Clara’s mouth, if that’s what you’re worried about.
” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “And for the joy you’ve brought my daughter, the sunshine you’ve brought to our life, there’s no fucking price tag on that Hannah, no way I could ever repay you.
But this…” He motioned to the hallway where I could hear muted voices approaching.
“This is me having some kind of way of taking the clouds from your life, knowing that I’ve contributed to it. ”
My breath left me in a whoosh at his words. At the reverent, intense way he spoke about me, how I’d changed Clara’s life, their lives. I’d thought, so surely, that I’d made his life worse.
But I hadn’t.
He said I’d brought sunshine.
And he was aware of the way he had treated me. From the sounds of it, he … regretted it too.