Chapter 26
Twenty-Six
Farewell to Spring
The door closing in the main room startled me awake. The texture of the woven blankets I’d fallen asleep on had pressed their pattern into my cheek as I wiped the side of my face with my hand and opened my bedroom door. Schula met me with a tired smile.
“Are you all right?” I asked, my tone careful.
“Sorry for earlier,” she said. “I’ll be fine.”
Stepping from my room, I noticed in the low light of the last lantern that her hair was damp. The table had been cleaned up when I’d returned from my futile outing to find them earlier, but there was still a bowl of fruit I had snuck into my room. “Are you hungry? I have some pears.”
Schula hesitated, her eyes ringed dark and pink.
“You’re tired. I can let you go to bed,” I said.
“No,” she started. “Well, yes, I am. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to talk to you. I should explain.”
What would Mila do? Or Bryn? Neither of them would have had the reaction I thought I wanted in the moment. My hand reached out, taking hers in mine. “Come here.”
Schula let me bring her into my room, closing the door behind her. Sitting her on the bed, since there was little other furniture to choose from, I pulled the bowl off the small table that held my washbasin and plopped one of the green fruits into her palm.
“You look like you need to eat something,” I said, and she burst into a laugh.
“I feel like I’ve said that same thing to you a dozen times in the last few weeks.”
“Fair enough.” I shrugged. “I feel like I’ve heard it at least a dozen times.”
She smiled, biting into the crisp pear and savoring the juices with a moan. “There are a lot of memories in this place for me. They may just be getting under my skin.”
It felt good to sit down next to her, and Schula leaned over to rest her head on my shoulder as she picked at the fruit.
The urge to pry into her thoughts was hard to resist, but thankfully she didn’t keep me in suspense for long.
When she was done with the pear, she set the remnants in another bowl where I had put my own leftovers earlier in the evening.
“I left my home a long time ago, but the first place I ended up at for very long was Dwellonmar,” Schula said, lying back on the bed with a sigh.
“King Diamid doesn’t seem to remember me, or maybe he doesn’t want to address it.
But he let me stay, a citizen of no court, until I got my feet under me again.
Caldon was a big part of it, but so was this city.
I think being here reminds me of how much I am not the person Eberon and Thain need the most.”
Lying back next to her, I kept my head turned her way. “What was their missing person like?” It had felt so taboo to speak of them before now, the person who’d left a hole in the hearts of my new friends and a cold black band on their thumbs.
Schula closed her eyes, smiling. “A big ball of energy. Someone who charged forward to reach out a helping hand, even before you knew you needed it. I’m certainly no replacement for that.”
“That’s not true!” I nearly sat up; I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“You more than anyone else have been the hand to reach out for me. All of you, yes, but Thain and Eberon have their own way of helping me. I’m sorry if I haven’t said it before now, but you’re the one who has settled me in the most. I will be forever grateful for you, Schula. ”
Her eyes peeled open, her lips pressed thin. “Then I’ve done that much right, at least. I’m glad Thain found you.”
The moment was so charged with emotion that I had to change the subject. Neither of us seemed to know what to say or how to move ourselves. With a deep breath, I broke the tension with a question. “Did Eberon find you?”
Her brows shot up. “No, he came after me?”
“Of course he did,” I said. “He felt awful about it. I know I don’t have all the details, but it seemed like he didn’t mean to phrase himself that way.”
Schula stared up at the ceiling. “I know, I’m to blame too. I shouldn’t have left like that when we still have to figure out our next steps about your magic.”
The silence settled, neither of us having the right answers. In the low light of the night, and with no more conversation, we had both started to doze off when the front door opened again.
Schula scrambled off the bed, pulling my bedroom door open before I even got to my feet. By the time I made it to the doorway, I found Schula wrapping her arms around Eberon.
“No, I’m sorry,” Eberon murmured, his arms around her back. “That was callous of me.”
They separated, both looking to me as I entered the room. Eberon was still wearing the same Spring Court fashion he had been in earlier, though more wrinkled and worn than they had been hours ago.
Eberon offered a tight smile. “We leave tomorrow. I’ve been arranging provisions for travel. It should all be ready after breakfast.”
“What did you tell King Diamid?” Schula asked.
The golden fae shrugged, brushing strands of fiery hair from his face. “A story about how pained I was to be away from Thain, that we had business to take care of with a mission he was on.”
“Is that okay?” I asked.
“It’s the truth, regardless.” Eberon gave an empty laugh. “I don’t think I can handle this alone. I need him.”
Schula nodded, putting a hand on his shoulder. I still didn’t entirely understand the bond, but I did respect that they were rarely this separated. I imagined it to be like being apart from Bryn, and the pain of his absence still kept me up at night.
“Any excuses for Wren?” Schula asked, looking to me. “She’s supposed to be traveling the Wyldes.”
“I fed him something about the season and making longer plans to stay for the spring equinox,” Eberon said. “What was it I told them . . . Right. We left in a hurry, and all your things were still in Thanantholl.”
“So, tomorrow?” Schula hummed. “Yes, that will be good. We go home and make amends with Thain. Together, we can figure this out.”
“Let’s get some sleep.” Eberon yawned and made for his doorway. “We can say any lingering farewells after breakfast.”
A light rain chased us out of the Spring Lands. I was quiet for most of the ride back, and I thought Schula and Eberon knew that was what I needed.
Puko sat on the windowsill next to me the whole way. He didn’t leave my side except to eat, and even for that I didn’t think he gave himself enough time to find much. He had found me immediately upon leaving the palace, and I was comforted by his presence.
My sleep was restless, and my thoughts wandered.
I hadn’t gotten to say goodbye to Caldon.
Hells, I didn’t even know how I really felt about him yet, but I regretted the missed opportunity to be with him.
I would be back in the spring, but that still seemed so far away.
Did he care? What were a few months to anyone with such a lifespan, after all?
And Krissaph. Whatever games she was playing seemed harmless enough.
But I really wanted to know what had happened between her and Schula.
Puko didn’t seem to like her either. I questioned any decision that involved trusting an unseelie fae.
But at this point, with Bryn gone and Mila off who knew where with her coven, my handful of trustworthy friends was dwindling.
Maybe Krissaph could help me at some point after all.
Rain drizzled, muddying the road ahead and adding a dreary image to go with my heavy mood. I flexed my shoulder blades and tried to subtly scratch my seal. It hadn’t calmed down since we’d left Dwellonmar. I had really hoped that it would.
Schula was right about my seal. The fae courts would find out what secrets I was keeping.
I had to decide what to do. Whether I wanted it or not, my magic was straining harder to break free every day.
Any more prodding and I would burst at the seams. If the four crowns were going to find out what I could do one way or another, I might as well be prepared to use it.
And Thain. We would be back in Thanantholl before him; the border was much further away than Dwellonmar, and we hadn’t stayed long. I didn’t know what to say to him, or even if I should forgive him yet.
Too many thoughts haunted me. I wanted nothing more than to curl up on a small bed in a log cabin in the mountains, a bearded giant humming as he whittled away on a piece of wood. It hurt that I could never have that again, and now my life was so much more complicated.
I exhaled sharply and slumped my head against the carriage.
“That was a heavy sigh,” Schula said, moving her book to her lap.
Schula was on the opposite end of the same bench I was on.
Puko was preening his feathers, scattering little rain droplets on my arm.
Eberon was driving the carriage, only stopping us if the rain was more than he wanted for the horse.
And I was in the same seat I had been in for days, under a blanket and feeling sorry for myself.
“Did I sigh? Sorry.”
“I know what you need.” Schula tucked a bit of ribbon in her book and set it aside. “You need a hot bath when we get back. And then you need a good workout. Move your body.”
“Maybe.” I wondered if all these thoughts could be blocked out by throwing myself at my training.
“Schula, will you teach me magic? I still want to learn self-defense from you, but I need to learn control over my magic so I can lift the seal soon and be ready for it. I just want to know what to expect.”
She studied me for a moment, long enough that I wasn’t sure she’d remember to answer me out loud. “All right. When we’re finally off the road, I’m moving you past limbering your body. Combat training and magic control. I’m not going to make it easy.”
“Good,” I said. “I don’t want it to be easy. I want it to be effective.”
“You asked for it; don’t break on me.”
That earned her a sharp look, but I didn’t say anything.
“Almost to the gates,” Eberon called from the driver’s bench.
I looked out the window, startling Puko into flight.
Light rain still pattered over the Wyldes, but instead of rolling green hills, we were in the endless sunset forests of the Autumn Lands.
The smell of wet leaves raked through the air, and I could see tendrils of smoke ahead of us where Thanantholl hid in the valley.
“I hope you’re ready for the city. It isn’t going to be the same as it was before,” Schula said.
“Did something change?” I asked, pulling my head back inside.
“You were a curiosity before, an unknown thing.” The white fae stretched in her seat. “Now, the truth has come out to the court, and the gossip has had time to fester. I’m sure you’re the talk of the town by now.”
“Wonderful.” I grimaced, then my mind moved to something else that had had time to fester. “Can I stay with you for a little while longer?”
“Of course.” She looked sideways at me. “I hope I haven’t done anything to make you think otherwise. It’s not Mama Flori, is it? I know she can be a bit overbearing, but she does care.”
“No, no, it’s not that,” I said. “You’ve been great, and Mama Flori is so nice. I just don’t want to overstay my welcome. I still want to find a place of my own at some point. The city is too loud, too many people. It’s not what I’m used to at all.”
“Ah, well, I knew that was coming. I don’t think you should be in such a hurry; you don’t even know which court you’ll settle into.
Stop thinking in human years. You’re half fae, and chances are you’re going to be around a lot longer than you first thought.
Give yourself the year the four crowns agreed to and see where you want to settle first.”
“I guess.” I shifted in my seat. “I’m just anxious about it all. The new courts, the new fae, the new cities. I just want a quiet little spot in the woods.”
“Sorry to frustrate you, but it would be a lot easier for me to help you with that if we knew what court you aligned with,” she said. “Try to have a little patience.”
A bump in the road shook us both, and the carriage slowed down.
“Right, one thing at a time.” I sighed. Puko cawed. The carriage bumped.
My seal itched.