Chapter 29
Twenty-Nine
Tea
Walking beside Thain, cloak drawn around my shoulders against the dripping sky that had begun while we were in Eberon’s study, was easy.
Familiar. Tinged with the strain of the fight, to be certain, but healing from seeing him again and the calm between us at breakfast. This was it, this was my chance to tell him that I’d missed him, and that I was sorry.
Chest drumming steadily, I closed my eyes and drank in the scent of him.
The smoky edges that the rainfall couldn’t quite erase, the way he wore the simplest things and used just enough words.
My fingers drifted to the quartz around my neck.
Caldon spoke with a flourish, and he was dazzling and social.
All the things that would have the young ladies of Silver Lake tripping over themselves.
Thain was none of those things, and yet I found myself wishing he was the one who had shown interest.
My pace stumbled. Do I feel that way about Thain?
He was comfortable to be around, to be sure.
With that thought in mind, so was Eberon.
So was Schula. Even Mama Flori now counted as one of those comfortable people.
My circle of people had grown significantly, but not all of them made me feel the same way.
Some of them made me feel as though I was reaching for something new, something I couldn’t have before. It was thrilling. It was terrifying.
Thain seemed lost in his own thoughts as we walked through Thanantholl’s winding streets. Though neither of us spoke, his subtle directional changes were enough for me to follow his lead to this shop Schula had insisted we visit.
Maple Way, a tea shop, was in a calm corner of the city, surrounded mostly by residential streets and a few public gardens.
It stood apart from the surrounding homes with its cheerful yellow walls and beautiful carved chairs on the front patio.
Inside, screens and potted plants divided the tables from one another, giving us the privacy that this conversation needed.
We were seated quickly in the darkest corner, which was still brighter than the inside of most buildings I’d been in. To my left was the shop, where a nymph brought trays to the guests. To my right was a large window with a view of the water behind the building.
Thain, for his part, looked utterly unsettled. I supposed Schula had accomplished that much when she’d dressed me today, and I had to admit that I rather liked it. Unfortunately, I was unsettled too and couldn’t enjoy the feeling as much as I would have liked to.
I’d taken so long looking through the list of teas that Thain had the server bring us her recommendations. Now the menus were gone and there was nothing between us save for our impending awkward conversation.
“Welcome back. It occurred to me I hadn’t gotten to say it yet.” I let my fingers trace the design painted on the table so neither of us could see that my fingers were shaking. I was both eager to settle things between us and dreading the encounter altogether.
“I wanted to apologize for my behavior.” He shifted in his seat. “You don’t owe me anything, not even answers. I shouldn’t have thought of them as mine for the taking.”
“And I shouldn’t have hidden something like that to begin with,” I said. “You told me you were on bad terms with the witches from the beginning, and I still hid this part of me. I was scared. I’m still scared, if I’m being honest.”
“Not of me, I hope.” His words were layered with something else. Almost defensive but not entirely directed at me.
Scared of Thain? No, I wasn’t. But I realized in that moment how many people probably were.
He was capable of physical feats I could barely imagine, and his king seemed to use him to flaunt his power and handle the worst of tasks.
What must the rest of the Autunm Court think of him?
They’d named him Ravager. Apart from Eberon, Schula, and Wairen, I didn’t think I’d seen anyone interact with Thain at all.
“No, not of you,” I answered with a softness that surprised me. “Of me.”
His jaw tightened for a moment while he rolled my answer through his thoughts. “What happened before—the fire you mentioned—it won’t be like that again.”
“We don’t know that for sure,” I answered. “Schula has been working with me. I’ve made this space in my mind as she told me, and I’ve been practicing. But it still scares me. Last time was so terrible.”
“This time you will have me,” he replied, “and there is nothing that you could lose control of that I wouldn’t be able to handle. If you fall, I will catch you.”
And as simply as that, a mountain lifted off my shoulders.
My breath caught in my throat, and a sudden tear rushed out of me.
Wiping it away with the heel of my hand, I kept my other fist clenched in my lap.
He was right. He was right. These people, this place, were nothing like Mila’s cabin.
Whatever had erupted from me before was not of the mountains, it was of the Wyldes.
This was where it all began, and this was where it would have to end.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He fidgeted a little as he glanced around the shop. He looked too big to be sitting in the delicate chair across from me.
“Was there something wrong with coming to this shop?” I asked. His reaction to it in Eberon’s study was one thing, but he’d definitely grown warier of it as it had come into view.
“I have certain memories of this place. This is where Schula made me apologize to her when we first met,” he said. “I may have overreacted to her upbringing when I found out about it.”
“Oh.” The corners of my mouth turned upward. “That does sound like her.”
“You learn quickly.” His mouth slanted in a grim line. “But I’m glad you came. I wasn’t myself that day; I didn’t want you to see that from me.”
“I don’t want to push you away, any of you. Schula tells me it would have torn you up inside if we didn’t reconcile. I wouldn’t like it either; you three mean so much to me.” I looked out the window instead of at him, waiting for an answer but not sure what I wanted to hear.
“Schula thinks she knows a lot more than she does,” he grumbled.
I looked at him, surprised. I opened my mouth to say something, but the server had arrived with our tea.
She set a cup down in front of each of us with a soft smile and left quickly, as if she could sense the strained aura around us.
I gave her a small smile as she disappeared behind a dividing screen.
Thain sighed when she left. “I didn’t mean that. Of course I want to reconcile. Schula is just a busybody. Let’s move on before I make more of a mess of things. Why don’t you tell me about your time in Dwellonmar?”
I took a sip of my tea and kept the warm cup in my hands. It was a gentle flavor: jasmine sweetened with honey. I watched the dregs float in the bottom of my cup while I thought about an answer.
“Dwellonmar is lovely, an everlasting spring.” I played with the rim of my teacup with a thumb.
“Beautiful, of course, but it wasn’t Thanantholl.
The Spring fae, I think they do everything at their pace.
It’s like they’re all waking up from a long sleep, which I suppose is the very nature of spring itself, but how do they get anything done?
I mean, here it’s rushing around, it’s full of life, it’s that last burst of energy before winter sets in, only it isn’t going to set in.
It’s fires and food and leaves in the wind and rainy afternoons under a blanket with a book.
Nothing here ever really sleeps, someone is always doing something. And I think I would miss that.”
Thain blinked, his face unreadable as he stared at me. I fidgeted in my seat under his gaze and took a long sip of tea.
“That was perhaps the most words I’ve heard you say all at once since we met.
” Thain’s face cracked into a wide, genuine smile that lit up his face for an instant before it flickered out again as quickly as it had come.
“I don’t know that I’ve ever gotten an outside perspective of Thanantholl before.
So does that mean you didn’t like the Spring Lands? ”
I swallowed my tea and the lump in my throat and thought about my answer.
“No, they were wonderful, but I don’t think I’ve seen enough of them to really know what it’s like.
Everyone seemed to be putting on a show for the ‘found youth’ and not letting me explore it little by little.
At least here in Thanantholl I got a good, slow look at it all before the news of me got out. ”
He nodded slowly, taking my words in one by one and thinking them over.
“I don’t think you can expect to escape the interest of the people wherever you go; it would be better to present yourself for them to see easily, and eventually the novelty will wear off.
But you’d be wise to take their affections with caution, as it’s in the interest of each court to gain your allegiance.
Have patience. It will calm down in time. ”
“I hope so.” I sighed.
Thain slowly stirred his tea, watching my neck. My throat bobbed as I swallowed; he was making me nervous for some reason.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
“I was just looking at that stone.” His nostrils flared slightly. “Where did it come from?”
My fingers brushed the cool stone absently as I realized he was talking about my necklace. Warmth rose to my cheeks, remembering what sort of things a stone like this might imply.
“Caldon, the king’s representative in Dwellonmar who took me around the city. It was a present.” I played with the chain it hung on and watched Thain.
He shifted in his seat. “Did Caldon tell you what it means?”
My throat bobbed again, and my heart raced. I did not want to be discussing Caldon with Thain, but here we were. “I addressed it with him before we left,” I answered.
“What did you tell him?” Thain asked. He still hadn’t touched his tea.
It was all I could do not to stare at him. Pulling my cup to my lips, I took a long drink. Why was Thain bothered by this? Could he be jealous? Surely not. But was he?
“Does it matter to you what I told him?” I asked.
His brows lowered. “And if it does?”
I licked my lower lip of the last drops of my drink, Thain’s eyes tracking the movement. I set my cup down on the saucer, the gentle clink the only sound between us.
“I did not share his sentiment,” I finally answered. “My preference will always be for someone who can find enjoyment in quieter places.”
Thain had no answer to that, and I had no more to say. With my cup empty and his yet untouched, the arrival of the server to clean up my things startled me. The nymph offered a pleasant smile before asking if I’d like anything else and whisking away my empty cup when I declined.
“I should take you back to Schula’s,” Thain said, his eyes moving to the window. “The rain has already let up, and I want to go find those books at the library.”
“Right.” I stood. “Thank you for the tea. And for helping me with . . .” I didn’t want to mention the marks any more than necessary. Considering the incredible hearing of most of the people in Thanantholl, it would be foolish to think we could never be overheard.
“Of course,” he added, and we made our way to the front of the tea shop. “I suppose we’ll see each other tonight at the River’s Edge.”
“I hope Schula goes easy on me this time,” I mused. “I’ll be useless for stretches in the morning.”
“I hope you’re ready for tomorrow.” Thain chuckled. “It won’t be so easy as a night of dancing with Schula.”
“And I hope you’re ready for tomorrow. The last time I did anything with my magic I almost burned down a house.” I eyed him sheepishly.
“I once cracked the top of a mountain with my triquetram when it was whole.” He grinned, a dangerous glint in his eyes. “I think I can handle a burning house.”