Chapter 6 Destiny
Destiny
All I have to do is mention my exhaustion, and Hammer doesn’t hesitate to tell Warden that he needs to find a new opponent. One of the prospects.
Warden sees what’s in my grip and doesn’t push. I can only hope he can sense my silent appreciation.
We make it back to the room we’re staying at, and I set both urns down on a desk. Taking them in with a soft sigh, I turn toward him.
“I owe you for so much.” Grimacing at the reality, I close the distance until I’m standing in his space, the heat from his body radiating hot. “You’ve done so much for me, but you haven’t asked for a single thing in return. There has to be something you want.”
I can see it in the way he looks at me. A dark, smoldering weight that promises sin. He thinks he can hide it, but I felt it every time he looked at me today.
“I only want what you want.” His voice is a tight, deep rasp that vibrates straight through my core. A beautiful, frustrating lie.
“Tell me.” I press closer, my chest shy of brushing his. I watch his nostrils flare, his lungs swelling with his next inhale. “I won’t be upset.”
His gaze drops to my mouth, heavy and intent. He doesn’t speak, but he doesn’t have to. The message is clear. He wants to claim my mouth, to steal another first and make it his. He won’t say it, though, will he?
“I’ve never kissed someone before.” A hot flush spreads over my skin, a confession and an invitation as I’m the one who’s willing to push. “But I’ve always wanted to try.”
A choked sound rips from his throat, and a quick glance down confirms his body is reacting, hard and ready. I know he wants more than a kiss, but tonight, my strength is spent. The thought is filed away for the future, in case I want to give him every part of me.
Lifting my hands, I beckon him down. My palms cup the rough-hewn planes of his face, my thumb tracing the ridge of his scar. “You smell like beer.”
His mouth curves into a frown, hearing my displeasure. “I won’t ever drink another drop.”
A little extreme, but it’s the right answer. “So, does kissing interest you as much as sex does?” I murmur, my lips a breath from his. “I’d hate to bore you doing what I want.”
Hammer answers with an impatient, guttural growl that spears right through me, leaving my toes curling. Before I can tease him further, his hands are on my hips, lifting me. My feet leave the ground, and my legs lock around his waist on instinct. Finally, my mouth finds his.
His lips are firm, but the second they part, it’s an inferno. His tongue seeks entrance, not asking, but taking. And I let him. I melt into the demand, my theory of kissing obliterated by the blazing reality of him.
A low moan escapes me as my fingers tangle in his hair, fisting the strands to pull him closer, to deepen the kiss even further.
I lick into his mouth, a bold, claiming stroke of my own, tasting the faint, lingering bitterness of beer and the pure, potent flavor of him. I am burning up, dissolving against the solid wall of his body, every coherent thought incinerated by the heat.
When we finally break apart, we’re both gasping. His breath is hot on my swollen lips.
“If you want more of this,” he rasps, his voice stripped bare, “if you want to use me for this, I’ll allow it.” His eyes, dark and deadly serious, hold mine. “Only you. No one else.”
A blush heats my cheeks, and my heart is hammering against my ribs as I get lost in his gray eyes. “I just want a few more kisses.”
He remains silent, never arguing or asking for more. Instead, he responds with another intense kiss, deeper and more passionate than before, leaving me completely lost in it.
* * *
When I wake up, I’m happy to discover Hammer didn’t secretly handcuff me in my sleep. Instead, he let me get a full night’s worth of rest without touching me once. Opening my eyes, I discover the bed is empty. Reaching over, his side doesn’t hold even an ounce of heat.
Beneath the blankets, my body curls in what feels like disappointment. A tiny part of me hoped our kisses would turn into something else, but he kept his hands respectful outside of a few teasing strokes against my legs once we settled on the bed.
Moving to sit up, I expect to catch him watching me from the wall, but he’s not there, either. In this room, I’m completely alone.
He hasn’t let me be alone once since bringing me here. Not to say I’m growing used to his presence, but there’s a loneliness that’s there because of his absence.
Deciding I can’t wait around for him, I get dressed and look at my parents in passing. The ache is a little less than last night.
Making my way toward the bar area, I’m surprised by how many members are lingering. Most of them are missing the Steelwood patches. Hammer called them prospects. Their attention is on each other.
A woman sits with a guy at the bar, and I grimace at the look of his face. Bruised and beaten, he looks rough. But he’s got a hint of a smile on his lips as he speaks with her.
Trying to avoid people altogether, I drift toward Penelope. She’s distracted, her eyes lingering on the front entrance. She’s alone with her thoughts, which seems like the right place for me to be. At least here, my own loneliness has company without disruptions.
“Where is everyone?” I ask, the question leaving me in a rush. I’m relieved the room isn’t filled with leather-clad men, but my skin prickles with the absence of one in particular. The space where Hammer should be feels like a physical chill. Even Warden, his presence, is gone.
Penelope blinks, drawing back from her deep thoughts. A soft, automatic smile comes to her lips, and she’s already moving to grab me a glass of orange juice before I can ask. It’s a reflex, this tending. This serving.
She doesn’t answer my question, almost like she didn’t hear me. Then I notice the pinch of her smile and realize that she did hear me, she’s just not giving the information.
Something must’ve happened.
“Is… everything alright?” I hesitate, the words feeling flimsy. I’m the stranger here, the one who doesn’t belong in their closed circle.
Her lips purse, her brows pinching together as if physically holding the words back. “Hammer told me not to say anything to you.”
Of course he did. The mention of his name creates this lump in my stomach, a mix of warmth and frustration. He’s been too caring for me, there’s no denying that. So, if I’m not meant to know, then I’m involved one way or another.
That means it involves Crimson Road. “What did they do?”
Her shoulders sag, a sigh leaving her lips as the secret breaks. “They burned down Diesel’s shop. Hurt him and his girlfriend. I heard it’s because they let those women—” She halts, realizing what she’s revealing. Her grimace returns, but her apology isn’t necessary.
So, I’m not only involved, but I’m a part of the cause.
I don’t know who Diesel is, but the news is a cold stone in my gut. Another victim. Another act of violence that feels like it’s circling closer, a storm I can hear on the horizon.
She chews on her lip, a fresh wave of nerves rolling off her. There’s something else, something heavier she’s not voicing.
Do I push? This club’s business is a maze; I have no map for it. I’m just a temporary resident as far as I’m aware. The best I can do is offer my ear, a sounding board for a woman who seems as adrift as I feel, even in her own home.
“Are you hungry? I can throw something together.” Her smile is back, a bit forced, but present as she changes the subject.
I’m the one who grimaces this time. “Aren’t you tired of tending everyone? Every day, it’s always you or your sister. Why don’t you have help? There are plenty of people in this club, from what I’ve seen. Too many to be taken care of by just two women.”
Her face relaxes as she shakes her head. “I can’t speak for Raven, but I don’t mind one bit. Funny enough, I enjoy making their lives a little easier.” Her gaze grows distant, softer. “I mean, if it weren’t for Judge taking us in, who’s to say where we’d be today?”
So, she’s another person who’s been saved. Another soul tethered here through some means. The similarities make it easier for me to lower my guard around her.
Getting off the stool, I abandon my glass. “Well, I don’t want to add more to your tasks. If you don’t mind, how about I make my own breakfast?”
Her laugh is a light, pleasant sound, but it makes my ears burn with a strange embarrassment. She doesn’t stop me from rounding the bar, though. Instead of treating me like an intruder, she simply shows me around, her movements easy and familiar.
The kitchen is a study in utilitarian chaos. It has a deep freezer and a fridge filled with supplies. The industrial fryer stands out, large enough to belong in a restaurant.
“They really like onion rings with their beer.” Following my gaze, she gestures to the monstrous appliance.
“Anyone can help themselves back here, if they want. But these guys have their own lives, their own families. Most of them are coming and going. Those in that meeting are the members who have dedicated their lives to Judge’s cause. ”
Judge. What a name. A title that promises finality.
“Is he the leader in this whole thing?” I’m curious, but I can’t help but notice the way her cheeks flush, a delicate pink spreading under her skin.
“He’s one of the reasons this town is so peaceful.” Her mouth curves into a soft, private smile. “Always putting himself at risk in the shadows, never demanding recognition… He’s more than just the leader. He’s the reason Steelwood thrives.”
This woman’s either been completely brainwashed by the guy, or she’s in love with him. I don’t think I could ever surrender myself so completely to another person.
Hammer comes to mind, unbidden.
Is there a possibility of feeling something for him? It could be because of his efforts, for everything he’s done for me. Something like that shouldn’t feel so deeply rooted.
Moving toward the fridge, I snag a few eggs and accept the bowl I’m handed.
Mixing them up, I make more than I need without thinking.
Did Hammer eat before slipping off with the others? Now that I think about it, he’s always making sure I’m the one with food in my stomach. He’s never trying to put himself first.
Deciding that it can’t hurt to cook him something, I can always eat the extra if it’s not something he wants.
Penelope uses our time together to get to know me a little better. I can’t blame her for not wanting to return to the bar, not when most of her company is men twice her age.
She asks me about my hobbies, and what kind of things I did before everything happened. I’m almost embarrassed to tell her how mundane I am. Invisible enough to go missing without anyone batting an eye, I guess.
As I finish cooking, I notice the other woman perk up.
Penelope nods behind me, and I turn to see Hammer waiting. He’s resting against the entrance, his arms crossed at his chest. While his expression is completely unreadable, it’s clear that he’s interested in what I’m doing.
From his point of view, it must look like I’m making myself right at home. Does he like what he sees? Is that it?
“If he’s here, then that means the meeting is over. I’ll leave you two to it.” Giving me a curl of her lips, she slips right past the brute, forcing me to be alone with him.
He prefers less company, only moving when it’s just the two of us.
Leaving his spot, he drifts toward me, staring at my work. Then he lifts his eyes, his gaze staring at my mouth.
Even when he’s sober, he can’t hide what he’s thinking. My skin warms instantly, and I ignore any suggestive thoughts that tease the idea of enjoying his mouth than my attempt at cooking.
“Don’t let it get to your head.” Scoffing, I nudge one toward him before letting the thoughts win. “I just made too much, that’s all.”
He snorts, but doesn’t poke fun. Interestingly enough, he thanks me.
“How did your thing go?” Searching for anything to eat with, he finds the plastic forks first. “Crimson Road?”
He scowls at the name, his frown returning because of my knowledge. “We’re going to war with them. We have a few days to prepare, but we’re going to take them out. All of them.”
Caught off guard by the confidence in his voice, I realize that means that he’ll have to leave to help them. With how much control that club has on the town, they’ll need everybody they can get.
“What if you get hurt?” The worry hits me instantly, and my skin warms as the words slip past my lips.
He tilts his head, surprised as well. “Someone needs to watch the clubhouse while it goes down. A few of us are staying to keep the women safe.”
“You’re staying then?” Relief flickers around in my chest. It’s making me realize that I care for him enough that I don’t want to lose him.
“For as long as they’ll let me.” Shoveling my cooking into his mouth, he grimaces. “This is terrible.”
My worry instantly transforms into annoyance. “Then don’t eat it.”
He doesn’t let me take it out of his hands, only wincing when he forces another bite in. “Hurry up and eat yours. There’s a place I’d like to visit. A couple, actually.”
The mention of leaving this place after being stuck here for days is a distraction. I don’t realize I’m smiling until my face aches.
He stares, his lips parting. Like he has something to say, he decides to clear his throat instead. “I’ll show you where the seasonings are for next time.”
Seriously. What a jerk.