Chapter 8
Chapter eight
“Ican see your red boob ring.”
Elana’s words rang through the small theater.
My face heated and my hand twitched with the need to hold Elana’s mouth closed before she said anything else.
I’d finally caved and bought a new bra this morning, bringing her with me to the store. All my old ones were too big and had given up their will to live, barely hanging on. The fabric was stretched, some had stains, and others that used to be white were now a sickly shade of gray.
Bra shopping was low on my list of priorities. Not only because it took time I didn’t have, but also because I didn’t enjoy doing it. Not even a little bit.
Pulling my cardigan that had slipped down one shoulder back up, I smiled at the mom who sat next to me. She glared, then turned away with a huff.
“It’s called a bra. And you can only see my strap, pumpkin pants.”
Thankfully, the lights dimmed, and her attention was drawn to the stage where a bunch of five- and six-year-olds would soon be dancing.
After twenty minutes, Elana was getting restless, climbing all over me and whispering loudly in my ear. But I didn’t want to risk stepping outside only to miss Addy’s performance.
So I stayed put, wrestling with Elana while simultaneously watching the stage.
When the little trees finally made an appearance, I sat up, turning Elana to face forward. “Your sister is up soon.”
She’d told me she was one of the flamingos, and they came right after the forest scene.
And then there she was, tiptoeing onto the stage, her little arms flapping. We weren’t allowed to take any photos, but I snuck a short video, ignoring the disapproving huff coming from my left.
Pride swelled in my chest at seeing my eldest so happy and confident.
There was a little line on her forehead, one that only appeared when she was concentrating on something really hard.
She’d been dancing through the living room for the past few months, practicing her steps, so I knew them by heart.
But watching her perform was beautiful. I never thought I’d get emotional watching kids dressed as flamingos hop across a stage, but I was frantically wiping my eyes.
Thirty minutes later, the curtain dropped and I sent up a silent prayer. Elana had fallen asleep shortly after Addy’s performance, and she was getting heavy. Securing my youngest in my arms, I followed everyone out of the theater to wait for the kids to come out.
When I spotted my daughter, I rushed up to her—well, I moved as fast as I could without dropping Elana—and leaned to the side to kiss her.
“You were amazing, ladybug.” I noticed a small cut on her eyebrow. “Did you fall and hurt your head?”
Head down, she shrugged. “Kayla did a cartwheel and hit me in the face.”
Kneeling, I adjusted Elana, then studied Addy’s face. “I’ll put some disinfectant on it when we get home.”
The cut was fairly small, so I didn’t think it needed glue.
“There she is.”
The high-pitched exclamation was my only warning before the walking accessory barreled into my side, nearly knocking me over in her haste to get to Adelaine.
Once I’d found my balance, I stood up. Cockalorum was standing off to the side, attention on his phone.
Adelaine glanced at him, the corners of her lips turning down farther. “Hi, Daddy.”
Cockalorum glanced up from his phone and gave her a tight smile. “Hello, Adelaine. Nice dancing.”
Dismissing her, he turned back to his screen.
The walking accessory pushed a bunch of roses into Addy’s arms. “These are for you.”
My daughter’s face and half her body disappeared behind the bouquet.
The walking accessory wasn’t done, it turned out, because she pushed a rectangular-shaped gift at Addy. “I have another present. One that matches mine.” She held up her wrist with a delicate rose-gold watch attached. “Open it.”
Not sure how Addy was supposed to do that since holding the flowers required both her arms.
She solved the problem by pushing the flowers at me.
Adjusting Elana, I clutched the bunch with my fingertips. The silver necklace with a small ballerina pendant I’d bought paled in comparison to the extravagant presents she’d received. I’d thought it was cute when I saw it, but now it felt cheap.
Unfortunately, Cockalorum joined us, his arm snaking around the walking accessory.
I wasn’t jealous of the open show of affection he’d always shied away from when we were together.
I was disappointed in myself that I didn’t recognize all the obvious signs that something had been wrong for the majority of that time.
I’d been so caught up in the idea of us that I’d ignored the reality.
Never again.
My dream had always been to have a big family. I hadn’t had an issue dropping out of college to raise kids. But despite all the mistakes I’d made—and there were plenty—a small part of me had still hoped for the happily ever after.
“We have dinner reservations,” Cockalorum announced, then turned with the walking accessory tucked against him. “See you on the weekend, kids.”
Addy leaned into me, resting her head on her sister’s back.
Squeezing my girls—and the flowers—I nodded at the exit. “Let’s get ice cream.”
Their responding cheers rang through the still-crowded entry.
Elana wiggled to get down, suddenly wide awake. “I want bubblegum.”
Addy took my hand. “Can I have mint chocolate chip?”
“Let’s put all this in the car and walk down to Tito’s.”
“Mrs. Porter?”
“Yes, this is she.”
“Hold the line for Mr. Moore.”
There was a click, and then my lawyer’s deep voice came on the line.
“Your ex-husband agreed to pay tuition since he doesn’t want the kids to go to a public school. For now, it’s only for Addy, but when Elana goes next year, he’ll cover her tuition as well.”
I sputtered into the phone, dropping the clothes I’d been folding in the process. “I asked you to finalize the divorce, not renegotiate. I think I have been pretty clear in what I wanted.”
“And I’m the best at what I do, which means there is no way I’ll let my client walk away with nothing.”
Cold sweat formed a line down my back, and I was suddenly lightheaded. “And as I told you before, I’m not walking away with nothing. I have the kids. They’re all I want.”
What if Cockalorum thought that if he paid tuition, it would give him more access to the girls?
Or what if he thought it might be easier to go for full custody after all?
Or what if he used this as proof that I couldn’t take care of the girls since I’d be unable to pay the school fees?
And the uniforms were expensive as well.
Something I no doubt had to pay for with money I didn’t have.
“It’s a done deal. We’re preparing the papers now, so no need to get angry.”
“It wasn’t your place to talk to them again.
” My voice sounded raspy. “I know you wouldn’t understand this, but I can’t afford for the girls to go to a private school.
The uniforms are almost as much as tuition, especially with the speed the girls seem to grow at the moment.
Not to mention the extracurriculars. I don’t have money for a musical instrument, or fencing gear, or whatever else they’ll decide the kids have to participate in for the school year.
They even talked about introducing polo.
On horses. What do they expect me to do?
Buy a blasted horse?” I took a shaky breath.
“And then there’s the time all moms need to dedicate to baking some nut-free, gluten-free, dairy-free tasteless brick of a cake for all the bake sales they’re holding because they want to add more plants to the hallways, or pay for the bus so the kids can go skiing.
Which, in theory, is a great idea, but then I have to pay for accommodation and fees at the ski resort.
Because even though the trips aren’t mandatory, my kids would be the only ones to miss out.
So you tell me how this was in my favor.
” I took another deep breath and swallowed the sand that seemed to be stuck in my throat.
“And don’t you dare go back and renegotiate.
I need this divorce to be over. And I need my lawyer to listen to me, not go off and do something to make himself look good because he always wins.
This can go into your books as a win. Your client is happy with what you have achieved.
At least she was until you ran off and did your own thing. ”
I sank down onto the couch where I’d been folding clothes, right on top of Elana’s tutu.
“I thought I acted in my client’s best interest. I apologize if that wasn’t the case.”
“It’s not about getting what you think I should. It’s about surviving. And all I have left are the kids. I don’t want to drag them through a divorce battle that lasts years. The scars it would leave would stay with them forever.”
“I understand. But—”
“The fact that there’s a ‘but’ means you don’t understand.
And that’s fine. I get it. You’re a successful lawyer who would never let anyone walk all over them.
But you also don’t have two little people depending on you to make good decisions.
They will always be the two most important things in my life.
Now, I have some clothes to fold, and I’m sure you have better things to do than talk to me. Enjoy your evening, Mr. Moore.”
I didn’t wait for his response and hung up.
He struck me as someone who liked to have the last word, so hanging up on him gave me a petty satisfaction.
And I didn’t have it in me right now to continue the conversation.
So instead of worrying about what his thoughtless actions might mean for the girls and me, I returned to cleaning up the house while they were busy watching TV in the other room.
Things would be fine. I’d just have to use all my manifesting powers to make them so.