Chapter 5
Chapter Five
May
“And then he said that the Triceratops wasn’t even real.
How can it not be real? I mean, it’s a dinosaur.
It’s fact.” Luke nodded solemnly as he spoke about his day, and I nodded back, handing him a tissue so he could wipe his nose.
“I totally understand. Triceratops are real. Remember we went to the museum and saw the fossil?”
“It was so cool with all the horns. I think Triceratops is my favorite.”
“It really was the best. So, Triceratops is your favorite now? I thought it was the T. Rex?”
Luke shrugged. “I like all dinosaurs. But I think the Triceratops is my favorite because they’re not as big, so they can surprise you.”
Luke was slightly small for his age, and I knew some of the other kids on the playground weren’t nice to him because of it. Brooke had already spoken with the teachers about it, so hopefully it wouldn’t become a problem. But I liked that he was doing his best.
“You’re brilliant for loving them. I like Triceratops, too.”
“I thought you liked Compys.”
I grinned. “Those are my favorites. Compsognathus.”
“Do you like them because they seem cute, but they really aren’t?” he asked.
I laughed. “They’re still cute, even when they are mean and eating what they want. They are predators. And they look adorable. Like little kittens.”
“Darcy’s kitten has really sharp claws, but it’s cute and small and purrs against my chest.” Luke looked up at me. “Do you think that Mommy will let me have a kitten? Maybe I’ll ask Leif.”
I pressed my lips together, knowing that Luke wouldn’t necessarily purposely try to pit the two against each other, but it could happen. Leif was a permanent fixture in Luke’s life now. Mine, too, for that matter.
It had dawned on me before, that because of Leif’s job and the flexibility, they didn’t need me.
They could have found a way to use the support system and daycare within the Montgomery world so they didn’t need a nanny.
They had everything they needed within their family.
I was superfluous. Or at least that’s how it had felt at first. Though perhaps not completely.
I was grateful that I had the relationship I did with Brooke, Leif, and Leif’s family.
There had even been talk of me adding to my duties, and not just with Luke.
Sebastian needed help. We all knew that.
He knew that. For now, his parents were doing all they could for him.
The Montgomery family was doing their best, but he was still breaking inside and learning how to deal with things.
I wanted to reach out and help as much as I could.
Brooke and I had even discussed how we could possibly blend the two duties.
I didn’t know if it would work out, but I knew the Montgomerys planned to broach the subject soon.
And if I could find a way, I would help out.
If it couldn’t be me, then I would find someone else.
Raising a kid on your own wasn’t easy in the slightest. Raising one when you were still grieving and young and dealing with the rest of the world at the same time?
I wasn’t sure how I would do it. But Sebastian was strong, and he could figure it out.
“May?” Luke asked. I blinked, pulling myself out of my thoughts.
“Sorry, buddy. Having a weird day.”
“I have weird days, too. But Mom says all I need to do is focus and try to think about what makes me happy.”
I smiled softly. “And what makes you happy, Luke?” I asked, smiling at one of my favorite people in the world.
“Triceratops!” he answered, and I laughed, handing over his juice box before we went through his spelling for the day.
He was still a little too young for full spelling lists, but he enjoyed learning, so he was a little ahead of his schoolmates.
We cleaned up his homework and snack when Leif walked in, takeout in his hand, and a bag of groceries in his other arm. “Hey, May.”
I looked up at Brooke’s boyfriend and grinned. “Hi there. It looks like you couldn’t decide whether to cook or not after you did all your shopping.”
He looked down at both bags and shook his head. “It’s been a long day. I had to pick up a few things for the rest of the week, and no, I didn’t feel like making dinner. Brooke had meetings all day, and I know she’s not going to be in the mood to cook when she gets home either.”
“You should have told me. I would’ve made a vegetable casserole or something. I know we talked about it.”
“It’s not your job to cook for us every night. I know you like to, but tonight was supposed to be my night. And I’m not in the mood. So, it’s fried chicken and other goodies.”
My stomach grumbled. “If I didn’t have dinner plans later, I would totally steal a chicken thigh.”
“Oh, yes. That was another reason Brooke wouldn’t let you cook tonight.”
“We’ll see. I think this date might be my last one.”
He blinked at me. “Are you serious?”
“Yep. I don’t want to do it anymore. So, this will be my last try.”
The decision had been coming for a while.
This would be the final date I set myself, despite the promise I had made to my father, and the fact that my family enjoyed setting me up on them.
I didn’t want to do this anymore. I didn’t want to try to find my happily ever after.
All I found were happily ever nevers, and that was all I would get.
Luke ran around me in circles as I took one of the bags from Leif, and we all went into the kitchen.
“And then we met with the new librarian. And she has dinosaur books for me,” Luke gushed.
I grinned as he went through his day with Leif as he had with me and watched as the man listened with such attention that I knew he wasn’t faking it to please Luke. He was actually interested.
Leif was already a wonderful father, even though it technically wasn’t legal.
I knew Brooke and Leif would make that happen one day, even if they hadn’t told me. I just had a feeling. I might not be great with my relationships or trying to figure out who people were and what they wanted, but I could tell with these two.
“Okay, I’m headed out. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I asked Luke.
“Yep. Mommy is taking me in because she doesn’t have to work until later.”
I grinned as he tried his best to go over what we had already discussed earlier. “You’ve got it.” I looked up at Leif. “I’ll pick him up from school, and then we have a few enrichment activities to go over.”
“Sounds like a plan.” He met my gaze. “My aunt and uncle are talking with Sebastian tomorrow, by the way. We’ll see what they have to say. I know it will put more work on you, but thank you for offering.”
Luke looked between us, interested, but I didn’t enlighten the kid. I understood what Leif was talking about.
They were going to try to make Sebastian see reason and hire me or someone else as a nanny. Because he needed help. And I would do whatever I could to make it work.
“We’ll find a way. Don’t worry. You’re not alone.”
“Thanks for that, May. You’re good people.”
I shrugged, a little embarrassed. I looked down at Luke and ruffled his hair. “See you tomorrow, buddy.”
“Tomorrow is only a day away.”
I laughed, joining Leif’s big, deep chuckle.
I picked up my bag, waved goodbye, and headed home to get ready.
This date technically wasn’t a setup. It was something I had done on my own because every other date should have been something I tried. It didn’t always work out that way because I was past trying, but I had promised my aunt that I would try this app to see if it worked.
I wanted what Brooke had. I wanted what Lake had.
I just wanted something more than what I had now.
It might be selfish, but I wanted that happiness.
So, I was going to try. With this man named Theodore.
His profile looked great, and we had messaged a few times.
He didn’t look creepy or weird, and I had to count that as progress.
I’d been on a few app dates in the past, and they had all ended poorly.
Either they weren’t the guy they claimed to be, or they were unnerving to the point where I didn’t feel safe.
Maybe this one would be different.
Or perhaps I was fooling myself once again because of a promise I shouldn’t have made. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to date anymore. They said you found your happiness when you weren’t looking, but how were you supposed to find it if you didn’t know you were out there searching for it?
I let out a frustrated breath, knowing I was talking myself in circles.
I made my way into my house and quickly changed into a soft gray dress and heels considering the café we were going to tonight.
It was a bistro with French food and lovely ambiance.
I had been there a couple of times with friends, but never on a date.
I was grateful for that because I didn’t need a familiar hostess or a waitstaff member placing bets on me like they were probably doing in the other places I went. No, I didn’t need that pity.
I touched up my hair and makeup, grabbed a new bag, switched everything over to it, and nodded.
Okay. This is it.
I pulled out my phone and let out a breath.
Me: I’ll text you when I get there.
Lake: Good. Let us know how it goes. I don’t like you meeting strangers.
Considering everything Lake had gone through, I didn’t blame her for that. But I was doing my best to be safe.
Me: You’ll know where I’m at. And Nick and Leif have this guy’s name and contact information. I’ll be in a public place. I’m meeting him there. I’ll be safe.
I didn’t say “I promise” because there were no promises when it came to that, and they would only be empty platitudes when it came to Lake anyway. I loved her too much for that.
Lake: Have fun. And sneak a picture so I can see what he looks like.
I laughed.
Me: We video chatted. I know what he looks like. I sent you the photo.
Lake: Send me a picture anyway. I want to make sure he looks good for you.
I rolled my eyes, said my goodbyes, and headed to the restaurant.