Chapter 7 #2
I blinked. “What?”
He grinned at me, and I pressed my thighs together. Well then…that was a different reaction.
“I think I have everything, but I’m missing something for the eldest.”
“How old is she?”
He told me her age and what she liked, and I nodded. “Horse books. We’re going to want to go with horse books.”
“But she lives in a suburb. I thought horse books were for farm girls.”
I rolled my eyes and then patted his forearm again before moving back. I really needed to stop touching him. And from the way his gaze went to where I had touched his skin, I figured he had noticed and wanted me to stop, too.
“Let me tell you something. It doesn’t matter where they live. They could live in a small apartment in New York City, and she’d still be a horse girl. It’s about the girl inside, not where she lives.”
“Please, teach me. It’s getting harder to be the best uncle when these girls keep growing up, and all their interests keep changing from things that blink and bake in a tiny little oven with a light. Things are a lot…more now.”
I laughed. “Just wait until they’re teenagers and dating, bringing boys and girls home.”
“Don’t you dare say that. Uncle Leo is not ready for his babies to date.”
I shook my head, laughed, and then went to help him pick out some horse books.
Brooke and Lake were in the back, so I walked with Leo to the front to help him with his bundles. I swallowed hard, wondering where that spark had come from and why it was still there.
“Thank you. For everything.”
“It’s no problem.”
“You only got one book. Did I distract you?”
He was a total distraction, but not in the way he thought.
“No, I only need this one. It’s a series Luke is reading. I have most everything else at home already.”
“You’re really good at what you do. You get your kids. And, seriously, thank you for helping Sebastian.”
I shook my head. “Everyone keeps thanking me for that, but I took a job. I’m getting paid to help him. It doesn’t seem so noble.”
He met my gaze, and there it was again. That weird spark. I had been wrong about it before, though. I’d thought I’d seen a spark with another and in the end, he’d only seen his ex in my eyes before leaving me. And I wasn’t dating anymore. I couldn’t.
“Anyway, they like you. They trust you. And, yes, it’s a job because we all need to make money. I’m not altruistic when it comes to my art. I get paid. But I like it. You like it, too. And you’re helping my friend out. So, thank you.”
My phone buzzed, and I looked down, frowning.
“What is it?” he asked, the moment broken between us—not that there was a moment.
“It’s Brooke. Apparently, Leif is outside with Luke and wants her opinion on something. She went out the back with Lake and will meet me later at that boutique Leif’s mom owns, Eden.”
“Oh. So, they just left you alone with me? Not nice.”
I pressed my lips together, unsure what to say. “Honestly, I’m not even sure they noticed you were here.” I winced. “Or maybe they did, and they trust you. Or maybe I’m an adult and should just shut up now.”
He shook his head and paid for everything, whistling under his breath at the total.
“Being a good uncle adds up.”
“Tell me about it. I’m about to have six nieces and nephews.”
“I can’t even imagine. But I saw how you are with them. They like you.”
“Thanks. I like me, too.” He winked and grabbed his bags. After I paid for my purchase, I suddenly found myself standing with him outside the bookstore. Alone. This wasn’t what I had expected this afternoon. What was I supposed to do now?
He swallowed hard. “Anyway. I’m going to do something right now. And it’s probably a mistake. So don’t hit me, okay? Or, you can hit me.”
I blinked up at him, confused, and then he set down his bags and pushed my hair back from my face.
I looked up at him, my heart racing. When his lips pressed to mine, I could barely breathe.
It was a slow and gentle exploration, a meeting of lips, barely a taste. An introduction. And then, before I could even figure out what was happening or contemplate his taste, his touch, his need, he pulled away and cursed under his breath.
I blinked, stilling at the sudden tension between us.
“What? What just happened?”
He froze, his eyes wide. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
I blinked. “Why are you sorry?” A thread of fear began to weave within me, but I told myself I was mistaken. He had been the one who kissed me. I hadn’t pursued him. I wasn’t making a mistake again, was I?
“I said I wouldn’t kiss you.”
I let out a hollow laugh, confused. “Oh. Who did you tell you wouldn’t kiss me? No, maybe I don’t need to know. You didn’t want to kiss me, and you did? Okay.”
With my bag in my hand, I turned, confused and not in the mood to figure out exactly what he’d meant by what he said. He wouldn’t kiss me but was forced to? What exactly had I done to make that happen?
“That’s not what I meant,” he said from behind me. I turned, confused and hurt. Wondering why I kept being so awkward. Because this would ruin everything. I didn’t want to ruin everything.
“It’s okay…whatever you meant. Whatever, Leo. Because I know my worth. It just seems like nobody else does.”
And then I left. I texted the girls that I would meet them later and that I wasn’t feeling well.
It wasn’t a lie because I wasn’t feeling well. I wasn’t feeling much of anything.
And that was it. No more sparks. No more wondering. No more first dates.
Never again.
I was done.
I would do my best not to make myself a liar. And figure out exactly what I’d meant by my worth.