Chapter 22 #2
Phone signal had been intermittent on the way down so as soon as she connected to the site Wi-Fi her phone pinged with several messages and a couple of missed calls. Most of which were from Josh.
Josh
Hey, Angel, just checking in as I haven’t heard from you in a while. Are we okay?
Then,
Josh
I just don’t understand why we can’t all go on as we did before. We could still tour. Just maybe not as often. You’ll get better maybe if you exercise your voice more.
Had he even listened when she had explained her diagnosis?
He clearly hadn’t done the same research as Ferris, which, considering Josh had known her a hell of a lot longer and professed to love her, was a tad disappointing.
If he had he’d have known that exercising her voice was the last thing that would help.
The next message read,
Josh
I miss you. And I’m sorry I didn’t handle this whole myasthenia thing very well. I just hate the thought of you being ill. It brings back painful memories of Lorelie, you know?
Again, she thought, I’m not ill. Not like Lorelie was. This is completely different. And way to make it all about you, Josh. Then came,
Josh
Have you forgotten about your old pal Joshy already? Because I can’t stop thinking about you, Angel. You’re constantly on my mind and it’s hard for me. I think we need to talk.
Good grief, talk about mixed messages, she thought.
‘Bloody hell, who are all the messages from?’ Ed asked as more pinged through. ‘Are they from Ferris?’ He sounded strangely sad as he asked the question.
She shook her head even though he now had his back to her. ‘Josh.’ She cleared her throat. ‘They’re from Josh.’
Ed turned. ‘Oh, right. Missing you, is he?’ This time his voice was laced with disdain.
He had never hidden his feelings about Josh Baron and the way he dangled Angelia on a string like a puppet; well, that’s what he’d said about their situation anyway.
She had never really looked at it that way. Perhaps until recently at least.
‘Apparently so,’ she replied flatly. She reluctantly hit reply.
Angel
Hi, Josh. I’m away just now camping with Ed. Signal isn’t great. I’m fine though. Angelia.
She kept the reply short and to the point and left it at that. No more messages came.
‘I don’t get guys like him,’ Ed said after a few moments.
‘He has this amazing girlfriend who’s stuck by him all this time, even when the rumours were flying about you and him.
Yet he still clings to you. It’s as if he doesn’t want you but he doesn’t want you to move on without him.
And that’s shitty on you and Nancy, in my opinion. ’
He was right on all points, Angelia feared. Just then another message came through.
Ferris
Hey, Angelia, how are you doing? I thought you might like to know that I saw a few of the choir at church yesterday and they all had such great things to say about you.
I’m so glad you took on the role. Anyway, if you get a chance this week, I can be free for coffee and a chat.
We could discuss plans for the choir going forward maybe?
Although I understand you may not be on Skye forever, that’s possibly wishful thinking on my part.
For the choir I mean. Anyway, let me know if you’re free. Ferris, Curate Extraordinaire.
He finished his message with a smiley face that had a halo above it, and it made her smile. She hit reply.
Angel
Hi, Ferris, or should that be Mr Extraordinaire?
Actually, I’m playing truant this week. Ed and I have escaped to Glenbrittle for a few days of rain, or midges, or maybe both, who knows with Scottish weather?
Fear not though, I will be back in time for choir on Friday.
Not long until the show so we need to make every rehearsal count. Angelia
The icon flashed to indicate Ferris was typing a reply. Was he going to question the lack of a mention of Meghan?
Ferris
Ah, yes, I did wonder if you’d abscond, and Glenbrittle is a rather beautiful location to choose.
Meghan called into the church on her way off the island.
I was very sorry to hear about her mum and told her I’ll pray for her.
She asked me to be extra vigilant at choir practice in case any paparazzi showed up when the press release is made about the band, although she wasn’t sure when that would be.
I had a sneaking suspicion you might accidentally on purpose ‘forget’ to let your management know you were flying solo.
Whilst I completely understand your desire for freedom and a ‘normal’ life, I can’t help worrying that you underestimate your value.
Please be careful. See you Friday. God bless.
So only a hint at a lecture. That was better than she expected.
She’d wondered if Meghan would feel it necessary to inform him.
She shook her head and placed her phone back in her pocket.
‘Shall we stick the coffee into those two travel mugs I saw in the cupboard, and head out for some fresh air now?’
Ed turned and smiled. ‘You must’ve read my mind, MacAuley.’
The rain had slowed by the time they had climbed over the low dune and arrived on the beach.
The volcanic sand was even darker than it would normally be, thanks to the weather, and the Black Cuillin mountain range, serving as a backdrop to the beach and campsite, appeared even more imposing due to the same factors.
Scrappy, now off lead, ran towards the water’s edge and away again as soon as the waves appeared to chase him.
His tongue lolled out and his eyes were bright.
He didn’t care about the rain; he was living his best life.
‘This place is amazing,’ Ed said as he clung to his coffee cup. His hood flapped around in the breeze and his eyes were filled with wonder.
‘It’s beautiful,’ Angelia replied. ‘I’m not sure why I haven’t been before.’
Another message pinged to her phone but this time it was Bella.
Bella
Hey, Angelia. Great news! The team can start this week!
They had a job just cancel so the timing is perfect.
Structurally the building is sound, as you know from the original survey, and the site manager says the work is pretty superficial which is more good news!
If you’re okay to go ahead with the plans, and the attached quote figure is agreeable, just let me know.
Of course, I have the spare key from when I showed them around this afternoon so I can deal with entry, I’m sure you’re busy.
She clicked on the link in the message and was pleasantly surprised, rather than shocked, at the figures she saw there. So, the record shop would be up and running sooner than expected. Her stomach flipped with excitement and she replied immediately.
Angel
Excellent! I can’t wait. Please accept before someone else snatches them up! I’m away just now but home Friday for choir. Signal is a bit hit and miss but message or call if you need me and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Angelia.
She lifted her head to see that Ed and Scrappy had wandered on, so she jogged to catch up with them and grabbed Ed’s arm, linking hers through his. ‘The shop’s a go!’ she squealed. ‘They’re starting this week! This week, Ed!’ She wobbled his arm and jumped up and down, and he laughed.
‘You’d better get some decisions made then, MacAuley!
Do you see yourself as a rock legend running a record store?
Or as a silent partner, living the life of luxury while someone else runs it for you?
’ She chose to treat the questions as rhetorical, mainly because she was rather torn about the whole thing, and they carried on walking as the rain became heavier once again.
After they had walked the full length of the long beach and back again, they eventually returned to the van where Ed set about preparing a platter of crackers and cheese, paté and French bread, and poured two rather large glasses of his favourite red wine.
He flicked through his Spotify account and chose a mellow, chilled-out playlist by Zero 7 and they ate mostly in companionable silence, only commenting on how delicious the food was when they did speak.
‘Do you want to know the real reason Ava broke up with me?’ Ed asked out of the blue as he dried the last of the dishes Angelia had washed, and placed it in the overhead cupboard.
She looked up at him. ‘Only if you want to tell me,’ she replied.
He picked up his wine glass and sat on the sofa, so she followed suit and sat beside him, ready to listen.
He stared into the ruby-red liquid for a few moments, silent with his thoughts. ‘It’s silly really. But she found a heart-shaped photo in my wallet and realised I was in love… am in love with someone else.’
Angelia’s heart sank a little. So, he was in love with Fiona all this time, as she had suspected.
Was he about to confess it? She steeled herself.
Even after all these years, Ed’s smile still made her heart flip but she couldn’t let that show.
What good would it do? And anyway, she was an expert at heartbreak.
She chose to pre-empt him, selfishly to soften the blow to herself. ‘Look, I think I already know who you mean. And I’m so sorry, Ed. Unrequited love is horrendous. I’ve been there so I know.’
His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak but frowned and closed it again. He swallowed and blinked rapidly. ‘You do?’ He closed his eyes and exhaled. ‘Of course you do. And it’s okay. I just thought I should tell you. Get it out there, you know?’
She reached out and squeezed his arm, sadness knotting her stomach, but she wasn’t sure who she pitied more, him for loving Fiona when she was with Marcus, or herself for loving him. ‘How long have you felt this way? I’m guessing it’s quite a long time.’
His eyes seemed glassy in the low light.
He smiled but it disappeared quickly. ‘Since uni. Since my first day at uni to be exact. I saw you and Fiona walking through the campus, before I met either of you and… that was it.’ He shrugged as if defeated.
‘I made it my mission to bump into you both on that night out during freshers’ week.
And I suppose, seeing as we’re being honest, I should own up and tell you I acted a lot more drunk than I actually was.
I thought it’d be disarming. It gave me the perfect excuse to hang out with you both and to get to know you. Does that make me a total shit?’
Angelia smiled as she thought about the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s ‘Mastermind’. ‘Not at all,’ she replied. ‘Cunning maybe, but not a total shit.’
He laughed and swiped at tears that had escaped from his eyes. ‘God, look at me. What a wuss. Don’t go telling Fee, will you? I’ll never live it down that I cried like a baby.’
She rested her head on his shoulder. ‘I won’t breathe a word. I’ve suspected it for a long time, to be honest.’
He stiffened. ‘You have? And you never said anything?’
She lifted her chin to find him staring down at her. ‘What could I say? I couldn’t do anything to help.’
He shook his head as deep sadness took over his expression. ‘No, I suppose not. I just wish…’ He shook his head. ‘I just wish things were different.’ His chin trembled and her heart ached for him.
She had never seen him like this. She’d never listened to him pour his heart out.
But then again, she was kind of glad about that because she’d had feelings for him for so long that hearing him declare his love for someone else would have been awful, just like hearing Josh talk about Nancy had once been, in fact.
Yes, she realised, by falling for Josh she had inadvertently replaced one unrequited love for another, and that said a lot about her really.
Perhaps she was terrified of loving someone who actually loved her back because that hurt was something she could control even less.
‘Welcome to the club,’ she said with no little sadness to her tone as Zero 7’s ‘Somersault’ played in the background.