10 JANIE
JANIE
“Thanks,” I say, but it sounds more like a sigh. I hang up with my second cousin a thousand times removed, or whatever Lyle is. My lawyer, I guess. He doesn’t seem very…lawyer-y. Though, I don’t think he can practice without passing the bar so he must’ve at least done that.
Most of all, he was cheap and quick when I needed to help my brother in the past. And now, myself. I hesitated sending him a legal document with my name next to so many zeros but he’s got a family and seems to stay on the straight and narrow. He also knows not to cross powerful people.
Powerful people, as in, my future husband.
Ugh.
He said he couldn’t find any snags, loopholes, or clever tricky wording in the contract. I wish that made me feel better. He’s going to look through it a few more times and get back to me, but nothing will help.
Because. This. Is. Insane.
I haven’t even put my phone down when it buzzes again.
Samantha: I can’t hold it in anymore!!!!
Samantha: Not when Ben is posting THIS!
Samantha: [Link to Instagram]
I sit down on the bed. It’s the photo he took by the window. With the lighting behind me and some retro filter that he added, you can’t tell it’s me. But you can tell it’s a woman in a hotel robe looking out a hotel window.
Janie: ;)
Samantha: You cannot emoji-answer me!
Samantha: Do you like him?
Samantha: Like for real?
Samantha: Are you DATING?!
Janie: Yes, yes, yes
Samantha: !!!!!
Janie: lol
Samantha: I have SO MANY ?s!
Samantha: Since when?!
Samantha: Is it serious???
Samantha: What did Skye say?!
My heart tenses up. I have to tell Skye. Today.
Will she even answer my call?
I’ll just text.
I mean we were best friends for years. She’ll answer a text…I think?
Janie: I’m telling her today, now that I know this is real.
Janie: The attraction was always there, some flirting
Janie: Things started moving fast this week
Samantha: AHHHH!!!
Samantha: This is so exciting!!!
Samantha: How fast are we talking?
Janie: Um, very?
Samantha: AHHHH!!!!!
Janie: So you said.
Samantha: And you’re serious about this? About him?
Janie: Yes, although I’m not the non-serious one, here
Samantha: True but someone may have already texted me about you !!!
Janie: He did?!
Samantha: [mouth zipped emoji]
Janie: Well, I really like him
Samantha: Eeeee!!! I cannot.
Samantha: This is just so random! And great!
Samantha: You guys are so opposite though, my mind is blown
Samantha: [mind blown emoji] [mind blown emoji] [mind blown emoji]
Janie: He’s fun. He makes me laugh. Pushes me out of my comfort zone.
Samantha: And he’s so handsome, like his brother [heart eyes emoji]
Janie: I can’t argue there.
Samantha: AHHH!
Samantha: AH! I can’t stop!
Samantha: !!! AH!
Janie: Please, find a way.
Samantha: Ok, ok. So, I guess this means you’re finally, officially over Theo?
Janie: Yup
My heart squeezes again. I ignore it. I am over Theo. I’ve got to be after everything he put me through. I am. I’m just not used to the idea that I’m actually done with him after almost five years. Definitely not used to talking about it.
Samantha: Yasssssss
Samantha: That man was never anywhere near good enough for you
Janie: Yeah, hindsight, etc.
Samantha: Well please tell my sister ASAP so I can bother all of them with my exclamation points
Janie: lol ok
I tap out of my conversation with Sam and switch to the text thread with her sister.
Three months since our last text. I don’t scroll up because I don’t want to see it.
Years of deep, cherished friendship reduced to generic messages about holidays and birthdays with iPhone reactions. Not even any memes or gifs in months.
And now I’m going to start talking to her again with a big fat lie.
Great.
Just great.
I inhale and brace myself.
As Gran would say, Jesus, take the wheel.
Actually, take the whole car, please.
Janie: Hey
She doesn’t hesitate in replying, which gives me some hope.
Skye: hey
Janie: So, I have some news…
Janie: I’ve fallen hard for someone, someone you know.
She reacts to my message with the double exclamation points icon, then waits.
Janie: [selfie with Benedict]
Skye: lol very funny
Janie: Not a joke. Though I can see why you’d think that.
Skye: Seriously?!
Janie: Serious. Very much so.
Skye: Since when?!
Janie: Well we both were attracted to each other and we’d flirted around it
Janie: Then we ran into each other in Vegas for work and hit it off
She doesn’t reply for a hot minute.
I wait, my stomach pulled taut with nerves. If she doesn’t buy this…if she can sniff it out already, just through text, it’s over. I’ll laugh it off and walk away.
As I wait for the three dots to pop up, my pulse does its own popping. I squeeze my eyes shut because I’m really nervous. I’m…actually hoping she believes me.
Because I want the money?
Because I need the money.
Because I want this to be believable? Because I…want to try this crazy idea? With Benedict?
No. Benedict is hardly even relevant. He’s nice and all, but he’s…the wallet in this situation.
That sounds bad.
It is bad!
But I’m willing to do it. Am I that bored?
I’m that scared.
I shudder. I let my life get so out of control, so untethered from the security I held so tightly. So bleak that I’m going to fake-marry for money.
Damn.
My phone buzzes, my stomach flips, my eyes open on the screen.
Skye: I can kind of see it.
Janie: Right?!
Skye: I love Ben like family, of course, but…don’t get hurt again
Janie: I won’t.
Skye: Then I’m happy for you
I hesitate. How do you wrap up a text like this? A random just-so-you-know message after months of radio silence? Ugh. Just another way my life has unraveled beyond recognition. I decide teasing Benedict is the obvious choice.
Janie: Thanks. Just wanted to tell you myself, he has a big mouth.
Skye: Ha
Skye: [heart hands emoji]
I exhale.
That’s it, she bought it.
The train has left, the cat is officially out.
Another message comes through.
Benedict Clark: Well done, wifey!
Janie: Absolutely not.
Benedict Clark: LOL
Benedict Clark: Just got a very graphic text from Skye about your heart and my testicles (that’s the exact word she used)
Benedict Clark: Guess this means she believed you?
Janie: Guess so
Benedict Clark: Fantastic! #BANIE
Janie: Again, no.
Benedict Clark: Yes.
Benedict Clark: See you in a couple hours for shopping
Janie: Shopping?
Benedict Clark: Wifey needs a ring
Janie: Whatever Skye said about your testicles, I’m going to do it myself if you ever call me wifey again.
Benedict Clark: You don’t mean that
Janie: [knife emoji] [scissors emoji]
Benedict Clark: Noted.
Benedict Clark: XOXO! [heart emoji] [kiss emoji]
Janie: STOP IT.
I start to put my phone down but it buzzes again. Bossman has attached a shot he took at the restaurant the other night, which I’m guessing he didn’t send with the others because it’s blurry. It’s clear enough to see that I’m rolling my eyes and he’s smiling ear to ear.
Like I said at the time, believable.
Can I really spend a year with him?
He’s not as unbearable as I thought. It still irks me how easy going he is.
Or maybe, how easy his going has been all his life.
Which, I can begrudgingly admit, is not his fault.
He didn’t choose being born into quasi-royalty just like I didn’t choose my unhinged mother, dirt-poor paternal family, or calling the world’s cheesiest, tiny, holiday town home.
He’s considerate. Refreshingly genuine and self-aware.
And he does make me laugh.
And, you know, THE MONEY, JANIE. This is for MONEY.
Ugh. I’m going to hell.
In a gold-plated hand basket.
Okay. Time to disassociate.
I pick up the TV remote.
_____
“Benedict, no.”
“Janelle, yes.”
“Stop calling me that!” I whisper-shout.
“Then pick one!” He mimics me.
I look around the luxurious jewelry store. It’s small and dimly lit and completely empty. Still, I keep my voice low because the staff is hovering.
“Couldn’t we just get a normal ring?”
Benedict frowns, “These aren’t normal?”
“These probably cost the price of a small house!”
“I wouldn’t know I only own giant hou—”
I grab his arm, “Would you stop joking for one second? Isn’t there a Kay Jewelers or something in Vegas? You know? 'Every kiss begins with kay?'”
“Is this a riddle?”
“Ugh! A national chain store in malls and shopping strips where, like, everyday people go to buy wedding rings?” I don’t miss the clerk behind the counter choking in disgust. I also don’t miss how Benedict’s firm bicep flexes under my fingers.
“Darling, you are not marrying everyday people.” I start to roll my eyes but he grabs my elbow and leans in. His voice vibrates the shell of my ear. “This has to be believable, remember? This is the only shop I trust in this city.”
I scratch my ear and blink away the realizations that he’s right and that he’s been in this store to buy jewelry before. Probably many times. That gives me the ick for some reason.
“Are you a regular here?” slips out of me, sounding weird.
His mouth twitches but he doesn’t fully smile, “I appreciate beauty and I appreciate good craftsmanship. Renaldo is one of the best. I’ve bought cuff links for a bachelor party, a last minute gift for my mother and more than one watch for myself.”
I shake my head. We’ve gotten off course here. Who cares what he’s bought for whom? Not me.
“Well, my sincere congratulations to Renaldo but I don’t think I’ll feel comfortable in any of these.”
He opens his mouth, closes it, and then grabs my hand. “Come.”
We walk a few steps to the back corner of the store. The clerk follows. We’re out of the engagement and wedding section. I can’t see exactly what gems surround us because Benedict blocks me with his tall frame.